Not reading books

Merry - posted on 06/30/2011 ( 34 moms have responded )

9,274

169

248

Erics 2, and I never read to him.
If I try he either turns the pages too fast or just gets down off my lap. He will page through books on his own alot and he will point put what pictures are etc, but he doesn't like me reading, andge doesn't care for story books at all.
Honestly I don't mind, I hate reading books usually, well I adore some books and if I find a good one I can't out it down, but that's rare, and usually I don't read books for a while.
But it seems to be some sort of 'mark of a good mom' these days to read to your kid, yeah I know reading is important and tv is on too much these days, but I hate the stereotype that good moms read to their kids and bad moms don't.
And the attitude with my mom friends is sad, they are so prideful that their kid loves books it's like bragging rights.
So I struggle with the issue of not wanting to buy into that clique and yet knowing books are important. And yet I don't like reading.

Ok so that's alot of jumbled up thoughts, but that's how I think about it right now.
Insight? Advise?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Elizabeth - posted on 07/06/2011

3,550

4

41

At that age, Maleena liked books with real pictures best. With her it was ones with animals. My neices preferred ones that had textures to them. One of the kids in our family only liked popup books for a while. Maybe you just haven't found the type that he is interested in yet.

Something also that may get him interested: don't read to him. Read to one of his favorite animals. Sit down with his teddy on your lap when Eric is close by and start reading to his bear. (or whatever animal is his fave) He might come over to listen. Or you could put several in a circle around you and read to them and show them the page like the teachers used to do in school.

[deleted account]

What your son does with books sounds perfectly age appropriate. Really, not many 2 year olds are going to sit and let you read a book to them. When Jake was 2, I used to let him play with his blocks on the floor while I read a book to him. That way, he saw & heard me reading, but he didn't have to sit still and listen, which would have been boring and tedious for him, thus leaving a negative impression of reading. (sometimes he would play out scenes from the book, so I know, at least sometimes, he was listening, even though he was playing while I read).



The fact that is he looking through them on his own at that age is wonderful! You can't see it, but his brain is working a mile a minute formulating stories and ideas about the pictures in the books. Those are important steps in building up the creative parts of the brain that help us in problem solving, sequencing, and self direction. One thing I've noticed about moms who brag so much about reading to their kids, is that the books are off limits unless the mom is reading--they are up on a shelf where the kid can't play with them alone. Sure, they can sit through a story, but that's really all they do. Playing with books on their own is MUCH more important than just listening to mom read.

Angi - posted on 07/11/2011

4

9

1

I am a teacher and I don't think you need to worry about it so much. If the reading becomes a chore then neither of you are getting anything out of it and may even start to hate it! There are many different ways to read books and one of them is to read the pictures. If your son is showing interest by looking at the pictures, then you can simply ask some questions while he does it. Things like "What do you think they're doing?" and "Why do you think they are doing that?" Boys generally show more interest in nonfiction books anyway, so I don't think it's a big deal that he doesn't care for story books. Developmentally, he may not be ready for a complicated or even simple plot and I don't think forcing it on him will help. Try to let him see you reading a variety of things - magazines, books, even things online - and hopefully he'll get the idea that reading is fun or at least functional for finding out about things he's interested in. Not all kids are going to be nuts over reading but that doesn't mean that he's doomed to be behind in reading. It's just my opinion as a teacher and a mom, but I think it would be worse to turn him off completely by forcing it than by just trying to let it happen naturally. Way too many parents are so worried that their two-year-olds are not getting into a good college if they don't do everything better than everyone else from a young age. Talking to your child and paying attention to the things that he likes (even if that is TV or movies) will go a long way to making him a happy child willing to try all kinds of things (including reading!)
Hope my very lengthy answer helps.

Jaime - posted on 06/30/2011

4,427

24

196

I'm going to come at this from a different approach. Some people are readers and some people are not. You have books in your home for your son and you make an attempt to read with him. If he chooses to hop down off your lap and walk away and play then let him...but keep reading. That exposure to the auditory sounds of your voice, reading a book even if he's not 'listening', will at least encourage him to try reading when he is ready. Don't sweat it, he's only 2 and you might just find that he wakes up one day a month or two from now and all he wants to do is read. And if he doesn't, it's not the end of the world...his disinterest in reading isn't indicative of his intellect. In short...deep breaths*

Esther - posted on 07/18/2011

3,513

32

144

I think everyone else has mostly said what I wanted to say already. I personally love reading and so does my husband. When we got married my mom asked me if our honeymoon would be to Barnes & Noble :)) We have always exposed our son to books too and fortunately he has really taken to them as well. It's a reward for him to go to the bookstore and he'll browse the bookshelves and sit on a bench to read the books he picked out (he's 3.5). However, although in my advanced age I tend to forget exactly what he did and did not do at any given age, I don't think he was into stories yet at age 2. It was mostly picture books we were looking at together and just talking about what we saw in the pictures & learning new words that way. The flap books were always a big hit too. I don't think you should make it a chore type thing (for either of you) but I would try to find ways to enjoy all that books have to offer. Find books that do appeal to you. There are truly great kids books out there that you as a parent can enjoy too. One of my favorites for example is "Don't let the pigeon drive the bus" by Mo Willems (all Mo Willems books are worth checking out). When I read that to my son I turn it into a stage production. At one point the pigeon throws a tantrum because the reader (my son) won't let him drive the bus and at that point I throw myself on the floor kicking and screaming to much hilarity. Another great one along those lines is The Tickle Monster by Jodi Bisset (yes, that one). I would really encourage you to give books a chance. Not just for academic reasons, but just because it's such a wonderful way to connect with your kid too.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

34 Comments

View replies by

Vicky - posted on 07/13/2011

3

8

0

I'm not one to read every night to my 2yr son but I do it at least once or twice a week and he wont sit with me, he just doesn't like HAVING to sit but he loves to play with his book and "read" to himself. Also don't forget monkey see monkey do, even if your not reading out loud, if he see you reading one of your own books that will peek his interest too

[deleted account]

Books ARE very important. But it's not necessary to have him sit perfectly still while you read an entire story book to him.

Interacting with the books is part of reading. Do you have board books that he 'plays' with?

Some kids just learn better when moving (ummm...especially toddlers...lol). Let him play while you read a book. He's listening. It's helping his vocab develop.

There are some great books out there that encourage children to move and interact. One of my daughter's favorites is "Can You Do It" but Eric Carle. A sample: "I'm an elephant and I stomp my foot. Can you do it? I can do it!" She gets up and stomps her foot and pretends to be an elephant.

And it's great that he flips through and points to pictures. All part of the learning process!

[deleted account]

That's natural for many young children Laura.My first daughter was the same.lol

Now and again we did read books but in HER way.Not page for page, word for word.

She is 6 now and has a reading level up to age 10.She can rattle off 48 page school reading books no problem.She puts me to shame when i was her age lol.



Your not a bad mom.Thats crazy to think.To your son this is learning for him.He is doing it in his own way.

Its very natural to not want to sit and look at the book page by page etc.I would encourage you do join in for nothing more than fun and make it fun.Not just about reading but in all other activities.

That's the beauty of learning and the fun of being a parent.



Enjoy it Laura, it's not about making them a genius or keeping up with the Jone's.Its about enjoying being a mom, enjoying your son and making memories.:-)

Tania - posted on 07/11/2011

280

28

12

I LOVED reading to Ben when he was little I read to him basically since birth. Our first novel was The Hobbit at age 4. Now at 14 he loves to read and write stories more than anything. He even goes to the library for books. I know I was not doing that at his age.

I am hoping Wyatt loves books as much as his brother athough he is much more like his Dad. Cars, cars and more cars.

We have Chapters here. I don't know what book stores there are where you live buy even story time at the library is fun for kiddies your son's age.

I don't know if someone mentioned this but maybe just read. Sit on the floor and read a book and see what he does

Jane - posted on 07/05/2011

2,390

262

484

Something I did with my kids was use audiobooks in the car. Listening to an audio book also stimulates the part of the brain that is used in reading. Since you don't like to read, use audio books. They may also help you feel more comfortable with reading. The can also keep the kids entertained during a long ride. Videos do NOT exercise this same part of the brain.

And if your kids become good readers their career opportunities will soar.

Darlene - posted on 07/04/2011

12

0

1

Oh Yeah, I'm not boasting, but I say this with great Pride, my kids 18 & 21 now, are excellent readers, I made it a high priority to ensure they didn't have this as a setback. The confidence and courage kids that comes from being a good reader can NEVER be taken away. They don't have to ask and rely on other people (like their dad at times) to read things to them. They even have audio books now, they were an awesome source to teach my kids to mimic what was said by the tape, and I even went a step further and we created a picture book as a gift to Grandma who still cherishes it with a audio tape describing the pics and read poems etc...The benefits are endless...I also was a RIF (reading is FUNdamental coordinator and volunteer for years and the joy of seeing and interacting with kids as they chose a free book (3xs a yr) compliments of Scholastic Company was joy beyond words for me. Love it and miss it! This is a lifetime Passion of mines to encourage all kids to Read.

Darlene - posted on 07/04/2011

12

0

1

Laura, They say the best psychiatrist is inside of us. You gave your answer dear heart in your reply: "I hate reading books, even though you adore some, you also said you're not an avid reader. I can respond to this with much passion because when I meet someone who has a child (been a homemaker since 93' now my kids are grown 18 & 21 so I speak from experience) I say with emotion "What!" and I get their attention, and I politely ask Why? and usually the reply is based on what has been modeled by the parent or their could be some learning difficulty that hasn't been revealed. Let me say this statistic: Its proven that if a child does not read at a fluent level by 3rd grade, they can literally struggle their entire scholastic career and even their life. My husband is 50 and he is living proof of this. Its very hard to get an adult that has struggled all his life to become very motivated by reading. You have to find what sparks their interest: Does he life a certain character? If so, find books (the library is great) and have them get excited that way or make weekly outtings at the library, it fits in Any budget because money was a factor for me in the early yrs, so this was a free and FUN experience and social activity as well as meeting other moms who shared the same goals. You light the reading torch early so you give them a launching pad for continual success. Think about it, if you went through your day (in or outside home) and couldn't read...what would your life be like? Also, do some research on literacy and see the people who struggle with learning disabilities like dyslexia and so forth. Give your child one of the greatest gifts the gift of learning and reading is the pathway to a better life....and its true: Readers Are Leaders!

[deleted account]

I found reading to Ethan while he was chilled and getting tired was the best way to get him to listen and interact with the books (he also loves the Thats not my... books - we look for the mouse whilst reading them now) and now he will bring me a book several times during the day to read it to him, and he will also 'read' books on his own (I am so proud yesterday he picked up a body parts book and was sitting there chanting nose, nose, nose on the page with the nose :-) so I can see my love of books passing onto him. He has always had books available to him, right from birth because it is something I felt was important (I too have a dyslexic hubby who hates reading, I want my kids to experience the joy I get from reading not hate it). If he doesn't want me to read we discuss the pictures, what is that, he may or may not answer, if he doesn't I tell him, i.e. it's a cat, what do cats say Ethan? By encouraging him to see the pictures and make stories it is still helping his language and development.

I choose short books with simple paragraphs and great pictures to catch Ethan's attention. Now he has shown a love of animals and vehicles so I try and choose books that have one of those themes as well, so maybe try and find books with topics that Eric loves (my nephew would only read books about fire fighters). But the most important part of getting books is that I find them enjoyable (I read them a lot), the flow of the writing has to be right for me or I find I don't want to read them.

Lynette - posted on 07/04/2011

32

21

2

It is hard to start with at first but it is so rewarding. It helps my girls settle down for the night as its part of going to bed ritual. I love books and so do my girls it is really rewarding when they start to read for themselves, such joy.
My husband hates reading and to be honest it shows when he is reading and the girls get a little bored. Much prefaring mommy as i put on special voices and stuff making it so much fun for them.
It also helps them for when they are at school and is part of thier development.
Either way it is your choice and you do what is right for your child, your his mom after all.

[deleted account]

Oooooh, YES.....Roxanne still LOVES those books and she's almost 3. She also loves any pop-up books, and the Stella and Sam series are her new favorite at the moment. She's actually snuggled up in our bed with Chad reading. I better check on them because I don't hear Chad's voice. He probably fell asleep like last time. ;)

Lissa - posted on 07/02/2011

1,047

0

98

I forgot to say have you tried the "that's not my" series, little ones love all the touchy feely stuff.

[deleted account]

Pride is an ugly thing. So I can completely understand why you'd be turned off. And I have seen my fair share of little kids who don't like to sit still... seems pretty common. Just having books around and making attempts is a good start. You can't expect more out of a 2 year old than they're capable of and 2 year olds capabilities very vastly. My mother used to read books to my little brother (who has autism) while he stood. He would even walk around sometimes during the book... but the point was just to have a book out and being read, no need to force anyone to sit down. Little kids need a lot of activity, so it's no surprise when the get antsy about sitting still. Good luck to you, I'm sure you're doing fine.

Merry - posted on 07/02/2011

9,274

169

248

I didn't knowvabout matts dyslexia either until recently and we've been together 6 years! Honestly hd didn't really know what his problem was either, because no one ever figured it out in his school.
I'm guessing his is mild...

Stifler's - posted on 07/02/2011

15,141

154

597

Short books. 3 words per page. Mostly pics, make up the story. I used to try and read long stories to Logan and he can't sit still long enough for the whole story until someone told me to read shorter books with more pics.

[deleted account]

Yeah, Brian has to concentrate a lot, too. Funny though, he didn't tell me for the first year we were going out and I didn't even notice. I was going to suggest too, to let your husband maybe do some of the reading, but I guess you are stuck with it!

Merry - posted on 07/01/2011

9,274

169

248

My husband also has dyslexia and he hates reading because he has to do it so slowly to understand.

[deleted account]

Thanks for sharing that Lissa. While it's early days yet, I kind of like to be prepared. I wouldn't want her to have a harder time that she needs to have.

Lissa - posted on 07/01/2011

1,047

0

98

To add to it Daniela, my parents are not, my brother and sister are. All three of my sisters children are but none of mine. My brother has a frontal lobe disorder along with dyslexia and a few other issues, he doesn't have any children.

[deleted account]

What Lissa said reminded me to add: My partner is dyslexic and reading is really not one of his favourite things to do, but he really came around to reading to Nina. I think you will enjoy it once you and Eric have a little routine going and you both know what to expect. Also, when you buy or rent out books for him, see if you like them, too. Nina seems to go for crappy books as well, but I enjoy reading the really nice once better.
@ Lissa (a little off topic, sorry): Are any of your kids dyslexic? Brian's parents are not, yet he and two of his three brothers are. I am not panicked about it, just curious how the pattern is in other families.

Connie - posted on 07/01/2011

178

43

12

As a childcare provider, I can tell you that I read to the children all the time. I have no expectation of them sitting still and quiet and giving me their rapt attention for no reason. I MAKE the story interesting. Funny voices, animal sounds, asking them to act parts. If they get bored and wonder off, I have no issue with that. I continue to read and they DO listen, and come back if I touch on something that catches their interest. They have their own books to "read" and I encourage them to bring them to me for me to read to them, but it is their choice. I totally agree with Kelly. Just the exposure to the vocabulary, syntax, and mental picture formation is building his brain synapses and prepping him for future learning. Each person has their own way of speaking and a limited number of common words they use in a specific manner. Books provide an expansion to that that he can't get in any other manner than television, which isn't a good option. A child's attention span is usually 1 minute per age, so he's true to that. Also, just flipping pages shows he's learning the conventions of book handling, a seeminly simple, but necessary component to reading. Unfortunately, parenting is often about doing things we don't want or like to do, simply because it is in the best interest of our child. Research consistently indicates that exposure to books early and consistently is a key component to literacy and success in early elementary. Best of luck.

Merry - posted on 07/01/2011

9,274

169

248

Thanks all :) last night I picked a book and asked him if I could read it to m, he said sure and sat on my lap, he listened as I read three pages (they were short nursery rhymes) then he skipped to the end of the book and was done :) I think I need to just get over it and try more to read to him.
Thanks ladies I think I just needed a push in the right direction.

Nikki - posted on 06/30/2011

5,263

41

558

I think your expecting too much of yourself and your son. At his age it is normal not to have the concentration to sit through a story. Some children will, but generally at 2, a whole story is too much to deal with (even a short one). I read books with my daughter everyday, but by read I mean I choose books that she is interested in (books with lift up flaps, tactile books, books about animals, bright pretty illustrations, books with sound effects) We look through the books and point to the pictures, we name the animals, make the noises, I talk about what the animals are doing ect. I don't read the story at this stage yet.

It is rewarding to see her recognise the pictures, make the sounds and say the words when she "reads" by herself.

Lissa - posted on 06/30/2011

1,047

0

98

I'm sorry to hear how that made you feel Laura, I was the "smart one" my siblings are all dyslexic and at a time when dyslexic was mostly seen as "Stupid". I remember trying to help my brother read and knowing he just didn't get it. I hated just being expected to get it all right nobody ever said well done.
At least if you try you are giving him possibilities, why don't you try just looking at the pictures and finding interesting things, it may be a way to start enjoying it together.
I hope it gets easier for you.

Merry - posted on 06/30/2011

9,274

169

248

Possible, as a kid my big sister read really early and read really well and adored reading. All through my childhood negus yeas the 'smart child' specifically related to her reading. I kinda got turned off to books because it was a sore spot for me thinking I wasn't as smart as Bethany. So I guess I resented books for that. Weird I know :)
But I did read the twilight series in 5 days this past year. Lol
Yeah Daniela, I do nurse him to sleep still but I'm juggling Fierna too most nights alone and it's her crabby time so Eric gets just a little bit of my time usually.

I think I just have to get over it and start making myself read to him more, I just don't want to I've never really tried that much...........

Lissa - posted on 06/30/2011

1,047

0

98

I am a big fan of reading to the children, I don't think the fact that all read before school and two of them at age three was just coincidence. Now of course when reading to them that was not my aim, it was all about exposure to books. (I'm really not bragging there it's just a fact)
So he's two and doesn't want to listen to a story but simply looking at the pictures and asking him to find the cat etc encourages him and also means you don't have to read!!
I don't want to offend but is it possible you feel people are bragging because of the way you feel about the issue?

[deleted account]

Oh, stick with it Laura, it is sooo rewarding! I know it can be frustrating when they keep flicking the pages. We just kind of go with it, like just read what we manage in the time she gives us or just talk about the pictures when she starts pointing stuff out. Do you still nurse Eric to sleep? I read one story at naptime and two at nighttime, with Nina lying in my lap nursing away. Also, we put a little chair into the corner where all her books are and she often likes to sit there. Her first proper half-sentence was 'I like it when' from the book 'I like it when...' by Mary Murphy (?). I also find that she goes back to the same books a lot and starts memorising the words. It's really quite lovely when you see your kid sitting in the corner mumbling away to herself about snakes and foxes and the like and turning the pages all serious like a grown-up reading the sunday-paper. Go for it!

[deleted account]

I don't read. *I* HATE reading, but I'm a good reader.



I think reading to a child is extremely important, and I am proud that Roxanne loves books. She actually "reads" to us now. It's pretty adorable to watch.



I don't think you're a bad mom for not reading to your son, but I do feel it's important, and sometimes we do things *we* don't enjoy, for our children's sake, to encourage them because we know it's in their best interest.



Sorry, Laura, I'm not exactly sure what you want? I hope I haven't offended or discouraged you. Know that I also cannot stand reading, but I take Roxanne to the library once a week and read to her on a daily basis.



That's all I've got right now...

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms