Nudity around the kids

Lissa - posted on 07/22/2011 ( 18 moms have responded )

1,047

0

98

I've seen quite a few threads about this lately and thought I'd post it here for discussion. Personally I don't get why people are suggesting covering up when the child starts to notice the difference between boys and girls. To me it's like saying look they know the cat and dog are different lets get rid of our pets.What's wrong with saying yes you have a penis because you are a boy, I have a vagina because I'm a girl. If your kid is poking at your boobs you tell them to stop, it hurts you and yes you have boobs because you are a girl and milk for babies is made in your boobs.

I didn't grow up in a nude family at all, for my father nakedness in front if anyone would probably send you straight to hell! I saw him naked once by accident and I have only seen my Mother once without a top and that was as an adult when she had an injury that needed cleaned.
We are not a naked family but if someone sees another naked it's no big deal. When my daughter started getting body concious we talked to her little brother about boundaries. When she was in the bath for instance she was having her private time so he was to stay out.
I think people greatly confuse nudity issues and personal boundary issues.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Rachel - posted on 02/21/2013

4

0

0

I didn't grow up in a nude family. As I grew up my friends love nudity. My college roommate was naked all the time and walked and studied in the dorm hallways naked. At first, I slept nude and have a tshirt on in the house. After time, I just walked naked to get something quick. One day, my husband went to work and I'd walked him to the door nude. He said he wished that I was always nude at home. My son was 4 at the time. After that day, I never wore nothing in my house again. The kids are very comfortable with it and we don't talk about being nude. It is just a normal way of life for us.

Laura - posted on 06/25/2012

201

69

2

So,anyway,as to your post "NUDITY AROUND THE KIDS"~YES Lissa,i certainly agree.!~taking into the realities of personal choice and comfortability and ANY boundaries one wants to set for their-self MUST be totally RESPECTED ! (,no matter how one arrives at that decision for them-selves ! )

Now to chime in on what many have been discussing.(.i.e)..the parents and kids being nude around each-other in the home.,per you post title....( many here discussing this subject ).

..I personally do not live in a nudist resort..and am not at an official "nudist"......we just have our own idea and reality of reason and and comfortability,,...

and yes,we understand very-well,the old Victorian social paradigm all too well ; and it makes no sense to US to wear cloths when they are not needed.....nothing wrong at all with the body nude ,,and our family likes not to wear clothing when in our home and on our property....no child of ours is forced or encouraged to be nude at any-time,that would be stupid ....We treat our children with the utmost RESPECT...they certainly enjoy playing and running naked in our woods and meadows...THAT is their FREE CHOICE......

...........I..certainly agree with Toni M and Eve,and others here,.

.many of us believe that the problem is Perception...why do some see,nastiness ,where others see beauty?...it is all in the EYE of the beholder...it makes no sense to some of us ,that what has been created is NOT perfect in it's own sphere...as a beautiful flower or bird , a sunset..or the morning dew...

Now..you tell me what the real reason is to hide our bodies from our own flesh and blood if all involved to NOT WISH TO COVER it is ALL about CHOICE ! ....(.as you may have observed ,little children usually like to be naked on a warm day ...they have no adult programming of the naked body =sex,or something untoward..).We moms can can try to see with PURE EYES...and not try so hard .in some cases,to see something negative,when it does not,in in fact,exist..............

.Let's respect a child's CHOICE to be FREE,in WHAT-EVER way he or she chooses that is NOT harmful in any way...(.we have all seen the posts such as '' how can i force my little child to not sleep in his bed naked" ,etc..)....this is 2012? or is it still the middle ages in some respects. ~~..how far have we ,as a human race,really advanced ?I think that every-one would agree that if every single human on Earth was a Totally Conscious Being...that would be the desired state of Peaceful,Harmonious LIFE for us all....

Roberta - posted on 05/01/2012

5

22

0

I wonder how many of these individuals who are so very "comfortable with nudity" would be just as comfortable with the neighbor man being nude in front of their children, or the neighbor woman. The standards we teach our children in the home don't stay in the home (obvious form some statements here) and they don't remain at the same level either. Modesty does not mean that one devalues themselves; conversely one who has no respect for themself is devaluing not only themselves but frankly putting a price of sorts on those for whom they expose themselves. In Ashland, Oregon they agree with most of you here...public nudity is allowed by ordinance; the implication being that "there is nothing wrong with my body, I'm comfortable nude. Of course the converse is also true...if you aren't nude, what is wrong with you?" It seems to me that those who are saying that their adult nudity teaches that there is "nothing wrong" with ones body are deceiving themselves. What they are teaching is that 1) if the child experiences shyness or shame when nude themselves there is something wrong with the child or with his/her body 2) it is OK to have sexual feelings for your parent/sibling/family member (note I did not say thoughts as feelings preceed thought by many years in the case of some/most children--if you don't believe me read the Kinsey reports on sexuality in children.) Even in our sexually inundated society familial sex is considered unhealthy and illegal if not immoral.
There is a huge difference between taking an infant or very young child into the bath and allowing a child who has become self-aware see their parents nude as the norm "around the house." Whether parents like it or not, they are setting a standard for adult behavior outside the home by their behavior in the home. Think about what you are telling your children is OK, wherever they are because children will always tend to "do what I do" not what you say when you tell them "It's perfectly normal and OK for mommy and daddy to do this, but its not OK for anyone else to do it to, or around, you."

[deleted account]

I have no problem with being naked in front of my son. I always saw my parents naked and it didn't do any harm to me. I think it's totally natural!

[deleted account]

I have no problem with nudity, I grew up in a naked family. I saw my parents, brothers and sisters naked all the time. My 3 boys see me naked alot around the home and I have no issue with it. Nudity is the norm in our home and I believe we should be comfortable with our bodies and that being naked isn't dirty and be not ashamed.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

18 Comments

View replies by

Ron - posted on 06/24/2012

27

0

0

Dam well said Megan
Isn't it interesting that those who love nudity so much could care less what others think? Perish the thought that someone in your home might be uncomfortable with your nudity or someone elses, very well said

[deleted account]

No I haven't Megan.....if you'd read the thread you would see I have addressed that and have already said when my husband, myself or either of my kids express discomfort with the level of nudity within our home we will not ignore it...."The way I see it is when one of us (being me, my hubby or the kids) become uncomfortable with it we will cover up a bit more at home. When the kids start noticing our differences we will discuss them and why we're different, along with appropriate behaviour - I have already had to tell my toddler you do not pull mommies hair it hurts (we have showers together) and that he shouldn't press mummies boobs as that also hurts.

I believe that us being comfortable with our bodies will help our children to be comfortable with their bodies and hopefully will mean they have very few body issues in the future"...that is one of my earlier posts from this thread!

I do NOT strip my children and force them to be naked, I dress them and through the day they undress themselves I simply do not force them to redress unless it is too cold to be without clothing. It is amazing how from my post you have got that I walk around naked all the time and force my children to be naked too, especially when I said "I don't walk around my home naked either but I don't hide when I get changed, they bath/ shower with me etc" HOW on earth you got I'm always naked from that idk! I also never said modesty was the same as shame, I never suggested that modesty is a bad thing, in fact you are the one lumping shame and modesty together, I briefly mentioned appropriate times for nudity such as in a changing room and times where it's not appropriate (like my neighbour walking around naked in our street) meaning that modesty is required in the latter example.

Finally if your children are taught about appropriate behaviours they will learn when it is appropriate to wear clothing like I said my children know they should wear clothing outside the home, being allowed to be nude at home does not automatically mean that person will not know boundaries when they move out of the home, but their parents need to make these boundaries clear!

Megan - posted on 05/06/2012

27

26

0

@toni, I think you missed one of Roberta's points and missed it horribly. I'm going to point it out so that you can address that point more directly, please.
So, if you are ok with being nude around your family, and one of your children doesn't share this level of comfort, how are you going about making sure this child doesn't feel that they are weird or there is something really wrong with them? Seeing their parents nude and them wanting to wear clothes and wanting their parents and siblings to wear clothes, but having the nudity around all the time anyway, how is that child going to feel that they are normal too? There is a certain level of respect there too. If one of your kids doesn't want to run around nude, are you going to allow them to wear clothes as they feel comfortable or are you going to keep stripping them down so they are nude like you? What are you going to say/do when they ask you to cover up?
I was raised to believe that I am perfect the way I am, I take care of my body and there is nothing to be ashamed about, but we wear a certain level of clothing always for other's comfort too. We also don't leave the house shirtless (for men) or anything like that as it can be taken in a sexual way and it could be offensive to others. I do have body issues, but they way they came to be had nothing to do with being raised with a mom that told me to cover up. It had to do with abuse about not being stick thin. My father will walk around the house in just his whitey tighty undies and I tell him many times that that is just something my friends and I don't want to see. Its just not right to be forcing it on others. Is it really so hard to put on a robe or something?
And yes, many of these behaviors are continued outside the home. When my husband was in college (all male campus, women's campus was about 5 miles away), he lived in the dorm rooms and when I would come to visit, I often got an eyeful of someone walking NAKED down the hallway, everything hanging out and not even a towel or underwear to be seen. Now, I could technically have turned it in for being illegal, but what about the morality of it? Should they really be walking around naked? Why is it ok that they do so? Are they taking into consideration OTHER upbringings that are more conservative? What about on the girl's campus? You ever think that behaviors like this could lead them down a road that could be very dangerous if they are walking around nude or not totally covered up and someone takes it the wrong way?
My final point is this. Modesty isn't teaching shame about your body. Modesty is having the confidence to know that you love yourself and your body, but you don't feel the need to walk around showing off every inch of skin possible. Modesty is taking others and their comfort level into consideration. Irritates me how many people think that shame is the same as modesty. I think its time to bust out the dictionary and compare the two.

Eve - posted on 05/03/2012

5

0

0

I never feel uncomfortable getting naked infront of my sons, they are 15 and 12, sometimes even my sisters sons who are also about the age of my has seen me nude, I never felt ashamed of it. even, my sons saw my sister naked a couples of time, my sister never complaint anything.

me and my sister lives in houses side by side, lots of time my kids are playing in her house and lots of time all four used to play in my house.

[deleted account]

Roberta your post is mixed up in so many ways....the biggest thing by being nude around children you are not saying it is ok to have sexual feelings for family members, simply the body is not something you should feel the need to hide. Again by saying nudity is ok you are not saying clothing is wrong just that there is nothing shameful about the human body.

I have never been naked in public and neither have my children, yet at home they strip and run around with nothing on regularly...I have never once had to tell them not to strip in public, they know this! So that blows your theory out the water! Yes monkey see monkey do but my monkeys have never seen me naked in public, I don't walk around home naked either but I don't hide when I get changed, they shower/ bath with me etc, so naked is fairly regular here.

Oh and the difference between a random person being naked around my kids and my family (which includes extended family...aunties etc) is that I don't know their intentions and it is odd, in society there are times when nudity is appropriate and when it isn't it would be odd to see my neighbours nude. However, if my child were in a changing room I have no problem with them seeing strangers naked because they are doing an appropriate thing (getting changed in a changing room

Merry - posted on 08/08/2011

9,274

169

248

I am usually just in a bra and undies this simmer when I'm home, hubby usually just his shorts. But recently Eric, who is 2, tells us yo get a shirt on! Not because our skin bothers him, but just because he hates being without a shirt so he 'reminds' us :)

Stifler's - posted on 08/06/2011

15,141

154

597

We walk around naked sometimes, especially when it's hot. We don't really care/haven't thought about the kids seeing us naked etc.

Lacey - posted on 08/03/2011

118

29

10

My mother was always naked. I never saw my dad naked though. And when my brother got older my mom never was naked in front of him. I still see my mom naked all the time. For me I don't care I have always been very comfortable with nudity. I love nude art and love the naked form. However my husband is freaked out about my daughter seeing him. He would take showers and sometimes she would want to go with him well the other day she looked at his penis with a very funny look on her face and now he wont let her seem him at all. Shes 2 by the way. The only problem I have is a few times she has said boobies then tried to pull my shirt down. So I know that for me she will probably see me naked a lot and never her daddy. Don't really have any issues with it

[deleted account]

My mom and dad never had any issues being naked around me and my brother and now my hubby and I have no issues being naked around our kids. The way I see it is when one of us (being me, my hubby or the kids) become uncomfortable with it we will cover up a bit more at home. When the kids start noticing our differences we will discuss them and why we're different, along with appropriate behaviour - I have already had to tell my toddler you do not pull mommies hair it hurts (we have showers together) and that he shouldn't press mummies boobs as that also hurts.

I believe that us being comfortable with our bodies will help our children to be comfortable with their bodies and hopefully will mean they have very few body issues in the future.

Jaime - posted on 07/26/2011

4,427

24

196

lol...recently my son pointed to my nakedness and exclaimed "ew...mommy dat you penis?" bahahahaha..."no Gray, that's mommy's vagina". I don't worry about nudity, although I used to be really shy about being naked or ever slightly skin-baring around anyone. My 6-year-old nephew has seen me completely nude if I'm coming out of the shower and dressing and it's just never been an issue for me. He is starting to insist on privacy when he's using the toilet or dressing, but as far as me insisting on privacy (unless I'm using the toilet) I don't worry about it. Gray will come into the washroom with me and usually sit on his potty as well, so it's actually an opportune time for him to learn about routinely using the potty since we're just starting potty training.

[deleted account]

Everytime I come across a thread like that I wonder how difficult life must be, if you are so conscious about nudity at all times. My parents were never worried about stuff like that, and neither Brian nor I are fussed about it now with our daughter. I think you are right about the personal boundary thing. Our daughter is only 23 months old, but there are already moments where I feel I have to teach her about that. Example: Her coming into the toilet with me - fine. Her asking and me saying 'that's mommy's vagina' - fine. Her helping me wipe my vagina - not fine.That said, I guess if parents are not comfortable with nudity then forcing it would probably be worse then covering up. Personnally I think it's healthy for my daughter to learn all about bodies at an age where she doesn't really know embarrassment or shame yet.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms