Playing with your children

Ashley=) - posted on 05/16/2010

The can entertain themselves but i enjoy as my kids do playing with them.I have 16 mth old and five year old so from playing football with dad or me to dolls house and reading etc but the alsohave there own time to.So i would say the have a good balance of both.When i am on com is usually when there having breaky and watching cartoons.lol

Amie - posted on 05/14/2010

I'd say it's about 50/50. Some days they spend all their time with me, others I have to go hunting for them since they're off playing by themselves/with each other.

They all like their alone time but switch over to playing with others just as easily. It depends on what they feel like. I think both ways are important and finding that balance for each family.

Meghan - posted on 05/14/2010

oh don't feel guilty Jess! When I did the books for our company the only way to get anything done was to put J in his exersaucer and put on a baby einstein dvd.
I think social interaction is SO important though! I have been talking to him since the day he was born, and like I said he is just getting to the age where he plays with other kids rather than playing beside them (isn't that called parallel play?) It's very cute to watch and I notice after he has new words from the older kids (luckily so far they have been good ones)

Jess - posted on 05/14/2010

Ava is such a little go getter, she is happy to exlpore on her own. Sadly I find myself using that time to jump onto COM. Like right now ! Ava is playing in her exersaucer and I'm on the computer... Now I feel guilty !



I guess for me the issue is we live in a tiny apartment and if I get on the floor with her there is no room to play. Lucky we are moving soon !

Nicole - posted on 05/13/2010

My son can entertain himself fairly well given he is only 19 months old.
He likes his individual time and will be very clear when he wants someone to place with him or if he wants to play by himself.
I can keep him entertained with boxes, laundry baskets and balls for hours without having to lift a finger if I chose. I think because I work from home he learned fairly quickly there were times where Mommy just couldn't be there every minute because things like lunch needed to be made, table cleaned up, art or games set up for the older kids etc. It was either sit there and cry or find something to do while Mommy finished up.

I look after a 5 year old who cannot entertain himself and is learning very quickly that with three other children present he is just going to have accept the fact I cannot give him my undivided attention non stop while he is here. Especially when he is the oldest in the group. That I will play with him and read to him etc just as I do the others, but not exclusion of the others. He's slowly learning.

Charlie - posted on 05/13/2010

No , not all the time .

I Play with Cooper when it is a shared activity such as reading or baking ect . or when i am "invited " by him , he will come over and take my hand and lead me to his toys or show me what he has been doing but i think its equally important for children to learn to play on their own , being "bored " comes more from the fact the child cannot or has not learned to entertain themselves .

Playing on your own is a great time to develop their imagination , confidence and independence , i watch Cooper when he is playing by himself with great interest , i love watching him in his own world but i make sure i do it in a way where i am not interfering or visibly watching .

Cooper has a lot of play dates , his social calender is far busier than mine LOL he socializes very well with other children and has a core group of close friends .

Jaime - posted on 05/13/2010

Kylie, I agree that infants and toddlers don't need a ton of social interaction before they hit Kindergarten, and that's why I say balance. My son only goes to play group once per week and he goes to the park or on play dates once in a while as well. I just try to make sure that there is a mixture of activities and social interaction because I do think it's important and I do believe that it eases the transition from home to school. I also agree that kids will learn by watching adults, but just the same I think they learn from each other as well--and sometimes more quickly. My nephew barely spoke sentences before he entered daycare at age 2 and within 6 months he was speaking full sentences and just kept improving from there. I have noticed the same thing with the two 3-year-old boys that I babysit. They both have difficulty with speaking and can say a few broken sentences, but I notice when they are together they communicate much better and I am able to understand them a lot easier as well.

I apologize if I came off sounding like all children need to have a strict balance of social interaction and independent play or else...I just meant that I think both are a fundamental part of the learning process for children. I have spent a rainy week inside with Gray and the boys I babysit and we've been limited with our play space, so needless to say it's been a rough go. I managed to switch it up a bit today with books and colouring but I think they all really missed being outside and running off some energy.

Kylie - posted on 05/13/2010

I interact with my kids mostly by talking, reading, art and taking them out and about but i don't really consider that playing with them though:)
i just wanted to point out in my experience only children under three don't need the social interaction with kids their own age. My first child never had much interaction aside from kids at the park and a 30 min gymbaroo class once a week and she fitted into 3 year old kindy and now school really well, shes extremely social and popular. So don't feel like you always have to have them socialized early on..they learn sharing and to be kind to other from watching the adults in their life.

Jaime - posted on 05/13/2010

I think it's great that kids can play by themselves and be independent, but I do think it requires a balance. Too much independent time is not good, and too much attention is not good. From what I've read here so far, everyone seems has a good balance of independent play vs. interactive play...and I really think that's what builds up strong, self-confident kids.

I thoroughly enjoy having play-time with Gray...whether it's reading, banging pots and pans, singing/dancing to the radio, watching t.v., going for a walk or to the park, etc.

I also think that when it comes to only children, social interaction with other kids is extremely important...whether it be playgroups or daycare. Kids need to be socialized with their own kind (age group) so that they can learn the schematics of social interaction outside of the home...as well it helps them learn new skill sets like sharing, which become important in life.

Kylie - posted on 05/13/2010

My kids mostly play together by themselves..i only intervene if the games start getting a bit crazy. My kids can entertain themselves for hours if left alone. Occasionally i play with my oldest..she likes me to be the customer in her shops or the judge in her dancing games and we do board games together. My youngest is very independent with play so sometimes i sit on the ground near him while he plays and he will start bringing his toys over and sharing..i don't think i play with him enough really.

Nikki - posted on 05/13/2010

I wouldn't feel bad about letting them play by themselves ladies, I hold the strong believe that adults should not inter vein in children's play unless they are doing something inappropriate or you are invited in. If they are happy then leave the too it. I love playing with Isobel, she is still very needy as far as playing goes which I don't mind because she sleeps so much during the day it is nice to have that time to play with her, although since she has been sitting up she is so much more independent, she is more than happy to sit there for 10 minutes playing by herself, I have to stop myself from interfering!

Meghan - posted on 05/13/2010

by himself, with himself...either or! LOL, the "with" himself part is a WHOLE other conversation! (he is a typical man when it comes to playing wit himself) Yeah gaggle means group, like a gaggle of geese.

Chatty - posted on 05/13/2010

@Meghan

" comfortable playing WITH himself rather than a gaggle of other kids "......you know how that sounds right?! LOL! And what on earth is a " GAGGLE " ? I've never heard that before; it must be A LOT!??

Jascinta - posted on 05/13/2010

dana- i have the same thing with jarmayne. lol i guess i'm lucky cause i have rylan now too. but i often feel bad that i don't spend enough 'play time' with him cause its too easy not too. so when i'm doing chores he often comes along and we do that together or he'll bring me a book if he wants some quiet time with me- which is good while i'm feeding rylan. i quite often go outside and kick a ball around with him too. i've been so blessed with my 2 boys :) i definently agree that too many children these days aren't able to occupy themselves. it kinda saddens me.

Meghan - posted on 05/13/2010

well, here's another thing that we could discuss...is there a difference with only child vs multiple children??
I tend to think that Joshua is more compfortable playing with himself rather than a gaggle of other kids...don't get me wrong he is starting to interact with them, but I don't feel he needs a playmate ALL the time because he doesn't have one (short of mommy, who he has wrapped around his finger)

Chatty - posted on 05/13/2010

Haha! I have a bad habit of letting Roxanne play on her own FAR TOO MUCH! She's SOOO independant that I sometimes feel like I'm taking advantage of it. I do make an effort to spend at least 1 hour a day with her playing, coloring etc, as well as, going for a walk......a lot of time she's ' playing ' along with me while I'm doing errands or chores! I always try and include her in whatever I'm doing!

Cynthia - posted on 05/13/2010

My daughter is only 9 months, but she's already playing by herself quite a bit. We do play with her a lot, but I think it's really important for kids to be able to entertain themselves. This is why I started her doing it so young, and slowly she is becoming able to play on her own for longer periods of time. I read an article recently that talked about the importance of it, and how you should not just jump in right away if they can't figure something out, because then they will become dependent on your help for everything.

Lindsay - posted on 05/13/2010

I've seen the kids they are talking about. The ones that are forever saying how bored they are and whatnot. I definately don't play with my kids ALL the time. They are forever making up the big elaborate scenerios and playing them out to keep themsleves entertained for hours on end. Typically, my job is being the ref. Now, if we are outside playing tag or soccer or football or anything of that nature, I'm right in the game with them running and playing. We have a few board games that we play together and things of that nature. I think we have a good balance in the house though. They can easily entertain themselves so that I'm able to get what I need to get done around the house. But, they also get good quality play time with me and Josh as well.

Kimbeley - posted on 05/13/2010

I'm similar to Meghan, I do a bit of both. Blake knows how to come and get me if he wants some attention or needs help with something ("hand?"), but otherwise he's generally happy to just do his own thing.

Meghan - posted on 05/13/2010

I really enjoy playing with Josh!! We spend a good part of the day playing but if I need to do chores, make dinner, go on the computer or make a phone call he plays really well by himself! A few times a day he disapears into his room and I let him do his thing- think it is important for them to learn to entertain themselves...but if he is gone for too long and it gets to quiet, I go check on him. I think the WORST sound when you are a parent is silence!

Emily - posted on 05/12/2010

I don't play with my kids all the time. Play is something innate to children.. they don't need to be taught how to do it. Mainly I just supervise and let them play how they want. Of course I join in if requested though.