Sarah - posted on 11/11/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )
I am a disabled mother of one, married, but i am young at 23 and newly disabled with a joint condition that increased in severity during pregnancy and I am now mobility impaired and have to use a wheelchair to get about places.
My husband is fantastic,he provides me with 24/7 care as i need and he is fantastic with our baby boy, a year coming up this month. However it is much easier for my husband to remove our son when he ignores 'no' which he does act on sometimes.
However when my husband is cooking etc and I am in the living room, door closed or baby crawls out to daddy, he will bang on the doors, walls etc do things that we dont wish for him to do due to potential risk of hurting himself.
So i tell him no and sometimes he listens or when he doesnt i try and distract him with toys in my reach and sometimes that works, but when they dont, my husband cannot use that door to come back in in fear of hurting him and as a mother it can be really distressing not being able to do things you planned on doing and could do before the pregnancy, i want to be there for my son and I am there for him but i am restrained from being able to pick him up, dance with him and other things and it can be upsetting and frustrating isnt the word and i want to know about things that can be successful for people who cannot be that 'hands on'.
id like to say no or something and have him do it, i will be honest me and my husband agree on everything and can compromise as we talk through everything and when it comes to our son we make sure we are a team in regards to disciplining him and we act together, so if mam says no dad says no and neither of us have taught him otherwise, so we understand as a toddler is learning a new world and pushing boundaries, children will act out and do things like this, but the point i am trying to make and ask (sorry)
is: what can i do as a disabled mother that cannot pick my son up and move him away from the door, there are disabled mothers that are single mothers with mobility impairments etc and they can bring up children successfully, but i am newly disabled and i would like some insight in how to make sure my son is safe, listens to me and in a way where he doesnt come to any harm or distress, we disagree with smacking.