Practical examples of natural consequences?

[deleted account] ( 8 moms have responded )

I was reading through another post on here about natrual consequences and someone responded to it with some great examples:



"But overall I see natural consequences as...ok, let's say he is throwing toys...natural consequence, mom takes the toys away...he keeps pushing buttons on the tv-ok, no tv for the rest of the day. He likes to push the chairs up to the computer desk and climb on-the chairs get taken away. "



To help me and maybe others, does anyone else care to share how they use natural consequences in their everyday lives?

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JuLeah - posted on 08/03/2010

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I was taught that there is a difference between natural and logiac consequences. Natural consequences happen with no interference from us. It is raining, you go out without a coat, you get wet.
Logical consequences come from us and are the logical next step.
You throw your toy, you lose your toy for a while.
My daughter gets natual consequences and doesn't really fuss. If
I suggest a coat, she opts not to take it, and is later cold. (she is 8. I would not do that with a 2 year old) she does not get upset.

Logical consequences are needed around things like eating veggies. I don't put a lot of the stuff she loves on her plate. I give her the veggies I believe she needs and when her plate is clean, she can have seconds of whatever she wants.

She will eat her small amount of the best stuff, one bite of salad and tell me she is full. I say, 'okay"

An hour later of course, she is hungry and her salad is waiting.

I don't tell her to eat her veggies, just point to them when she tells me she is hungry.

She will most always eat the veggies and ask for more of what she loves.

I like this becuase there is no battle of wills, no 'Sit here until you are done' no effort really at all :)

"time for a shower" can be a problem too. "I am playing with .... But I want to ..."

So, her life stops. No TV, friends are gone, no games are played, no toys are played .... no snacks .... She refuses a shower when it is time and I say, "Okay" giving her nothing to fight aginist.

She will ask for TV and I say, "After your shower"

Can I have a snack? After your shower.

Will you play a game with me? After your shower.

Soon, the shower happend as it is the path to life starting up again. And we had no battle of wills, no fussing.

Melody - posted on 11/14/2012

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Hello, I thought I might be able to help a little here.



A natural consequence is one that happens naturally as a result of the child's actions; an adult doesn't intervene in this type of consequence. For example, a child bosses her friends around at center time in the morning, and at recess when she wants to play with those same friends, they reject her. That is a natural consequence. She learns that she will not be accepted into play if she is bossy.



The above examples are good examples of related consequences, instead of natural consequences. Related consequences are consequences that are directly tied to a behavior and it is when the adult intervenes.

http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/c...

The above link is a good one. I found it interesting.

I love learning about this area of child development. I hope you enjoy this website. Here are some other things to look up on the internet. The following relates to Related consequences:

Exclusion, Deprivation, and restitution. Very interesting.

JuLeah - posted on 08/04/2010

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Mia,

Okay, eating veggies. All went well for the first few years :) Then ….

There are many things I do (tricks I play)

When she was 3 and 4, I put veggies on my plate only. She was at an age where she wanted what ever I had. She saw my plate and wanted it - 'me too Mama'

I'd say, "Well, I am not sure baby. This is Mama's food"

"Peese Mama. I want"

So, I would put veggies on her plate and she's smile as she ate them.

Around age 5, that stopped working.

I try to make things I know she likes, but not all parts of ever meal will meet with her approval.

I put her favorites on her plate, but not a full serving. I put just a small amount of what I know she likes and all of the veggies I want her to eat.

She will eat everything but the veggies she doesn't like and tell me she is full.

I tell her that is just fine. "Okay, you can be done"

It doesn't take long before she is hungry or sees others in the family eating dessert.

She wants more of (whatever her favorite side dish was) or dessert.

I say, “If you still have room after your dinner is gone, you can have seconds.”
I have found, with my kid anyway, that I pick one line and say it over and over. I don’t get into a battle of wills because I don’t get into a debate. We don’t ‘discuss’ anything.
She will argue that her stomach is not hungry for green stuff, just stuff with cheese.
I say, “Okay, let me know when your dinner is gone”
“But Mama, I am hungry”
“Okay, there is your dinner right there.”
‘I don’t want that!”
“Okay”
“I am hungry!”
“There’s your dinner”
She will usually make a ‘deal’ with me at this point. “Okay, if I eat this can I have more of ….”
“Sure”
She will eat her dinner and have more of whatever she loved about the meal all while feeling like she won something. I don’t really think this system is going to work too much longer, so I will be asking folks with older kids what their system is within a year.

Riana - posted on 08/04/2010

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I think that we need to keep in mind that every action has many natural reactions! So it leaves you with a lot of room to play. I always start with asking myself why? Why can't they do it, why is it wrong, how does it effect them, how does it effect the people around them ect. I use these answers to determine different natural consequences and then pick the one that I feel will have the most effect on them to try and bring my point across.

LOL my husband says I over analise everything but it works for me ;-)

[deleted account]

Roxanne colored the tv with her crayons....Roxanne helped mommy clean the tv! Roxanne climbed on mommy's bed and threw the pillows on the floor.....Roxanne picked up the pillows one by one and had to climb back up and put them back where she found them. Roxanne doesn't zip up the netting on her trampoline.....Roxanne isn't allowed to jump on her trampoline.

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[deleted account]

hhaahaa about her tummy not being hungry for green stuff just stuff with cheese! lol cute as.
i see your point about repeating the same line, or a variation of it :) i think this is key in trying to stay consistent.
Thanks for explaining it in such detail, helps lots :)

[deleted account]

If he keeps leaving the table while eating the food gets taken away regardless of whether he was done or not. (I generally give it back when everyone else is finished and left the table).

If they jump on the couch they have to sit on the floor.

If they refuse to put their shoes on to go outside, they get to sit with their shoes on the step while everyone else plays outside.
(Obviously again for children who have developed this skill already)

If they refuse to take their coats and boots off from being outside they have to stay in the hall way until they take it off.

That's all I can think of right away. I'll add more as I think of them.

[deleted account]

JuLeah, i love it! I've gotta try the veggie thing but am anxious as to how it will go down. I feel like he wont eat them and will wait me out untill i feel sorry enough for him to give him something he does want. And then i fear it will become a battle of wills...If you can be bothered can you explain more about how you got things started? It must have been more challenging the first couple times around im assuming.

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