Separation Anxiety - Need advice

Cynthia - posted on 08/27/2010

Thanks for the tips Nicole. I'd write more but I'm a little tired right now. My son decided 4 am was a good time to start his day. Ugh! I'll post more when I have my wits about me again.

Nicole - posted on 08/26/2010

Unfortunately this could very well have happened next week regardless of him hitting this phase now.
Separation anxiety is normal. It sucks and all you can do is just be reassuring. Keep routine the same and spend some extra time doing some one on one activities like reading or singing.
He still is that happy and confident baby. Just things are starting to change really fast developmentally and that's scary. This is the way babies cope. Some fly through this phase and others get stuck there for a while and some swing back and forth through it like a pendulum (mine would be one of those).

As to day care. Be prepared for the worst crying fit of your life when you go to leave. Hold yourself together until AFTER you get out the door. If he sees you lose it, he will be worse. Hug and kiss him as many times as you want. I suggest leaving after 15 minutes even if he is still crying. As a child care worker it is hardest on everyone the longer a parent stays during drop off.
Be prepared for this to be a regular thing for a couple of weeks (2-3 is typical, sometimes longer in younger kids).
Please call and ask how he is doing later in the day (lunch time or nap time are good times to touch base). Don't visit. It will confuse your son. Only go to the daycare when you are actually going to take him home.
He will do one of two things at pick up. Immediately head for you all smiles and hugs
Or
Cry and give you the cold shoulder because he's mad at you.

Both are typical and normal reactions. Just go with it.

At home after day care starts, be prepared for him to become your shadow and get upset when you leave the room. If you can, take him with you, if you're working in the kitchen, set him up in the high chair with some toys. If the kitchen and family room are side by side talk to him from the kitchen.

The best things you can do are be consistent, be the loving parents that you are and know that this is a phase.

Good luck!