spanking study

Christina - posted on 02/08/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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http://health.yahoo.net/news/s/nm/spanki...

my only comment is I personally noticed a link between lack of punishment to lack of respect for authority... I am not saying everyone every were needs to beat there kids but after working with kids I am much more for stricter parenting. Only a parent knows their kid well enough to know the best punishment for them, but I think the outlawing spanking your disrespectful, rude, mean, brat is wrong. Then studies sayin staying specifically American children are arrogant and have high entitlement issues because of to much positive feed back and the whole everyones a winner thing... there seems to be no happy medium studies like this come out then more laws come out and next thing you know your once toddler that didnt respond to time out is standing in F_*$ YOU, MAKE ME, OUR NOT MY BOSS! At a whole 10 yrs old making a seen that embarrasses everyone...

Just wondering what yall think about it I guess do the benifits out way the risks, and what form of punishment or rewards do you use, do you use different things for each kid an if so why?

I spank on occasion when the situation is extreme and nothing else has worked, my son never has really responded well to time outs but my daughter has so she gets less spankings. We do use rewards for potty training in the form of stickers which has worked wonders for my son, but thats the only reward system we have used and that has stuck

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Jenni - posted on 02/11/2012

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What methods of discipline do I use?



I could write a novel... but



Natural Consequences- consequences that teach a lesson about the behaviour and are directly related to the specific behaviour.



Timeouts- For tantrums, runaway emotions. Basically, when they're angry and acting out. We go somewhere quiet to calm down and have a talk once they are calm. When they are older they take their own timeouts.



Behaviour modification- changing a negative behaviour into a positive one.



Proactive discipline- ensuring my children are emotionally fit, have plenty to do, know what's expected of them,



Redirection- teaching them what is appropriate behaviour by providing them with alternatives when they exhibit a negative one.



Modelling behaviour- manners, modelling how to take a timeout by taking one myself when I'm stressed, role playing, owning my own mistakes and taking about the consequences I experienced



Plenty of discussion and listening to my kids talk.



Arming them with "healthy self-esteem" derived from productivity, hobbies, sports, school, kindness, empathy for others, helping others, trying their best (not winning), working hard to accomplish a goal...

Jenni - posted on 02/11/2012

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I 100% agree with the studies. There are always alternatives to spanking. Not spanking does not equal no discipline. Discipline is teaching. You do not need to hit to teach right from wrong.



The alternative is not "everyone's a winner" or giving into your child's every whim. It's about teaching healthy life lessons and using critical thinking to develop strategies for behaviour modification.



I most certainly do not want to raise entitled, underachieving, disrespectful, anarchical "brats". That's why they do chores, earn privileges, lose privileges when they abuse them, we work on "healthy self-esteem", hobbies, sports, productiveness is rewarded, they are corrected on manners, they are talked to about their feelings and how they are making others feel. They have household rules, which they're reminded of regularly. They are reminded of outside the house regularly. If they break these rules there are immediate consequences related to the specific behaviour.



I can achieve all this without a smack. It may take more work and effort but my kids are worth it. I want them to understand why they shouldn't engage in certain behaviours. All smacking does is teach them that I'll hit them if they do something wrong. This can lead to breaking the bond of parent-child trust. Teach mixed messages. Teach them to hide negative behaviours for fear of retribution or to be secretive.

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