Strategies to raise a well rounded child

Jenny - posted on 02/21/2011

i think i get you. i feel like this with my son - now 27months. its not that he was a "bad" baby or that i need to "mold" him into something that he is not, its more that i need to show him how to best deal with life and try and be a happy baby/person dispite that he's personality is on the more negative side. my 9month old baby girl has been a happy chappy from day one and i believe that you can see what a baby is like from the get go and i see where you are coming from.

basically what it came down to was that my son needed more attention (despite the fact that he is very INDEPENDENT), he really needs to be understood and it takes time and patience to see where he is coming from. why is he crying his head of and chucking a tantrum? why does he insist on doing whatever he's trying to do etc..

the more i play with him and engage with what he finds interesting the happier he gets so i think that is also key. babies like this are more work if you want them to turn out well rounded :) you need to be more hands on, more creative with distraction and think quickly on your feet.

Chatty - posted on 02/07/2011

I don't think you missed the point! You gave some great advice, IMO. ;)

Meghan - posted on 02/07/2011

Nope nothing got deleted...I guess I am just missing the OP's point...??

Chatty - posted on 02/07/2011

Did I miss something? Was something deleted?

Lissa - posted on 02/07/2011

I agree you can't mold a child, you have to recognise the differences in them and adapt your strategies. You can't change a personality but you can show your children how to focus their energy in positive ways,

Jess - posted on 02/07/2011

It appers to me that you have misunderstoond Meghan's last post. And I personally am finding your repsonse rather re-active. Perhaps you would like to re-read the comment and edit yours to match?

Concerned(AK) - posted on 02/06/2011

I am not saying my son is bad... I said he is different... May even b better for all u know! I am just a lot more proactive... Wiser the second time..

Meghan - posted on 02/06/2011

I don't personally believe in "molding" a child. Accepting their differences and giving them coping skills to deal is what I do...as much of a pain in the ass J can be, he is who he is. Take the good with the bad I suppose

Concerned(AK) - posted on 02/06/2011

My daughter us absolutely gorgeous... She is kind, empathetic and hard working. She is doing great at school and is really smart. With my son, I am really understanding that there is a personalty difference and while I am not worried I just want to mould him from now on to b a happy contented baby but also develop his social interaction skills and satisfy his curiosity....

Chatty - posted on 02/05/2011

Lead by example. If you want him to grow up reading and thinking books are important, then read to him or take field trips to the library. If you want him to be active and understand the importance of physical exercise, then don't just encourage him. Get up and exercise with him. If you want him to eat healthy, YOU eat healthy....etc.



I think parents sometimes don't realize that building a foundation right from go time, is THE best thing you can do for you and your child to be successful. Don't just start when your child is 4 and you all of a sudden realize, "OMG! He sees me sitting here at the computer".....get active and be active from day one and he'll grow and understand that THAT just is the way it is. Behaviour is learned. Be who you want your son to be!

JuLeah - posted on 02/04/2011

Well, all kids are different and boys/girls are different. Give him language as soon and as much as you can .... talk with him, process with him ... give him a lot of choices ... teach him to name his feelings and respect them ... teach him to give of himself. Nothing makes us happier then when we know we/our words/our actions help make the world a better place ... nothing teaches kids to value what they have better then seeing kids without .... art, music, dance, from around the world ... teach him that, as good as his way/his ideas might be, they are just that; his way/his ideas and others have ways/ideas that are just as good ... encourage team sports where he has to rely on others as much as they rely on him ... travel with him if you can, let him see the world .... keep his mind busy - the happy kids I know are kept very busy in this way ... ohh start teaching him sign language. Kids can learn this before they learn speech and when they can tell you want they want/need it cuts down on the temper tantrums that happen when they can't express themselves

Lissa - posted on 02/04/2011

I have one quiet, contented sweet little girl who is happy about almost everything and two boys who in different ways have always been challenging.
Look at it this way he is confident, assertive and active, he sounds like he needs lots of stimulation. Have a good routine which involves plenty of active play, lots of books, songs and things like building blocks to keep him mentally stimulated. Explain through the day what you are doing now and what you will be doing next. Lot's of fun floor time with you, playing the drums with a few pans and a wooden spoon, finger paints etc . At this age distraction or simply taking him out of the situation he is reacting to is the best option. As he gets older have firm, consistent rules and consequences. With my children I talk about them making the good choices and making sure that I am not only explaining why I have a problem with what they did but also letting them know and asking them to think about what they should have done, what the good choice would have been.

Meghan - posted on 02/04/2011

J was a very laid back little boy-SO easy to take care of, hardly ever cried or fussed but around one he turned into exactly what you are describing. I don't really have any suggestions. I just kinda took it as this is who he is. I *try* to make things as consistent as possible, so he knows what to expect in each situation.