4 year old daughter still poops her pants! I'm at my wit's end!

Tiffany - posted on 08/12/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My daughter's been potty trained since she was 2 1/2, and has no trouble peeing in the potty by herself, but we've always struggled with the poop thing. She used to hold it in for days until it was huge, and then it would hurt when she'd go, so I could understand her reluctance then. Now she doesn't hold it, she just goes in her pants. She'll go in the potty for a few days, and then revert back. I've tried taking away toys and privleges when she goes in her pants, and rewards like stickers, tattoos, and getting toys back when she goes in the potty. I've tried ignoring it, making her clean her undies, nothing seems to phase her, she just acts like it's a big joke, it's sooo frustrating!!! She starts preschool in a week and I'm afraid she'll do it there too. Any suggestions?

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Cheryl - posted on 08/13/2009

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OMG I am going thru the exact same thing with my 3 and a half year old daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now she's even on a laxative everyday so she can pass them easily since she would hold for days and days to the point where several times she got so backed up with large hard stools that I had to take her to the doctor for an enema..:( Mine is also starting preschool soon and I'm also at my wit's end. I don't know how to resolve this!!!! Please let me know if you find out anything..

Rebecca - posted on 10/22/2011

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I am going thru the same thing with my son who will be 5 on the 28th. It has been going on for about a year now. Ive done the reward thing, making him clean out his underwear which he doesnt like to do but it doesnt stop him. We now have a rule that if he poops in his pants he cant go outside (which he loves to be outside) until he poops on the potty. It has worked somewhat. He still poops in his pants but there will be times where he poops in the potty 2 or 3 days in a row. My 2 1/2 yr old son is potty training and Im hoping that will help but who knows. He is in Head Start and has only had 1 accident but as soon as we get home he will go in his pants. He tells me he couldnt make it to the bathroom. He will run to his room instead of the bathroom which is right down the hall. Ive heard people say their kids did till they were 8. I dont like going places cause if I know he hasnt gone in the potty he will most likely go in his pants while we are out. Its very frustrating and I dont know what to do anymore.

Lisa - posted on 10/26/2012

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Hello Tiffany,

OMG...you have just spoke the same thing that my 4 year daughter is going through. Did you come up with any solutions...??? I am at the end of my rope with this also. It is so great to hear that someone else has thins issue and it is not just me. I have tried everything also. I will let you know if I find somthing that works.



Thanks



Lisa

Becky - posted on 05/08/2012

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my son has been going thru this since he was a baby. for some reason he could not digest his food to well. he would have this problem for months at a time and then it would just stop. but he just turned 8 and he has been doing this for a long while now, he wont do it while his in school but as soon as he gets home he starts up. ive seen him tense up so bad when he tries to hold it in because it hurts.. i found that having him squat in the tub while i let the water from the shower hose run on his bottom helped him have a bm without so much pain, it would give a little relief at least for a while. he lost muscle control in his bottom that he could not feel when he had a bm. we took him to his doctor and he said it was normal and that it would go away. time passed and we took him again this time he said to give him miralax to help soften his stool but it only caused more leakage. we took him to the er once cause he was in so much pain. they said to keep giving him miralax,that did no good.we finally made an appointment with the stomache doctor 2 1/2 weeks ago. he did a rectal exam and took x-rays.. he said the tests showed that he was very impacted .his intestines were completely full and it all needed to come out or it would just keep building up inside cause it was so hard for him to pass. he showed me on his stomach how hard it was by telling me to press down and feel how hard his stomach was. i never really noticed but yes there were spots where it seemed big and hard. we went ahead and admitted him into the childrens hospital under the doctors advise so that they may flush his whole system out.
they did iv drips and a tube to his stomach thru his nose (it was not painful,he did not cry once)it took 2 days but he passed everything out. some even looked like rocks. I feel so bad that he had to go thru this all these years when all it took was 2 days and it was over, he now goes to the restroom when needed, I still have to remind him to go and sit for a while so that he may be retrained and get his muscles working again.I dont let him have junk food,and now he eats like ive never seen him eat before. before he would not eat for fear of having a bm. he is so happy now and says that it feels so good being able to go without any pain. he now knows that as soon as he finishes eating he must go and sit on the toilet 10 min after because as there is no more cloggage it now passes thru him so easily.I now have a very happy boy.the doctor did say that if i see that he is starting to have trouble all he needs is a simple home enema before it gets worse. i also am giving him stool softerner for a while so that he wont be afraid to have a painful bm. why my doctor could not figure out the problem himelf a long time ago ill never know , i am so grateful that this doctor knew what to do. so when they say its nothing please get a second oppinion, as a parent i say no child should have to go thru this. there is help.

Dawn - posted on 05/05/2012

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My so is 3 1/2 and goes pee fine. doesn't even wet the bed. but when it comes time to poop he threatens to poop in his underwear if we don't put a diaper on. We have tried rewards and taking toys away.....I'm just as lost as you.

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Mitsi - posted on 02/19/2014

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I have a similar situation. My 4 year old daughter, just refruses to pooh in a toilet, she holds it. She hides and releaves herself on her panties. I tried all sort of things nothing helps, She has this thing that she's a princess, and prinecss don't make pooh cause it's smells. Nad refers to herself as the 3rd person, who makes all these bad things. As a result she's given herself another name, called princess Bella . I was thinking of a kids phsycologists.Its frustrating as she's at creache already, she wont do it at school once she gets home she releives herself. somebody help please

Matt - posted on 12/11/2013

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so this seems common. my 21/2 year old is doing the same thing - potty for pee, undies for poop. any ideas

Jenny - posted on 11/16/2012

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Just put the child in charge of their own cleanup. That usually does the trick. Lot easier when mommy is changing the smelly diapers, and wiping the poopy bottoms :-P

Samantha - posted on 05/03/2012

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I am having the exact same problem with my 4 year old daughter, she used to go to the toilet, has never wet the bed, but for the last week or so, she has started pooing herself, it isn't necessarily just her pants, when she wears her nightie or her sleepsuit, she poos that also.

Marilyn - posted on 08/21/2011

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OMG I am goimg through the same thing. My 6 year old has been trained ( very easy training) for over 3 years, then one day she was constipated. when she finally did poop it hurt her, so form that day she would hold it because she was afraid it would hurt, and she would hold it for days!! my family doctor gave her Docusate Sodium ( stool softener) to take every night. Well that didn't really help, she would still try to hold it and would have leakage problems. now after 6 months of poopy pants, it has gotten worse she now has no control whatsoever, we change her panties about 5 or 6 times a day, I ask her every 1/2 hour if she has to go and she will say no, but when I smell it and ask her if she pooped her pants she will say no, but when I check her pants she has and her reply is " I didn't know" she has no problem going pee in the toilet but when it comes to poop she has no feelings of having to go at all, she no longer holds it for days just continues to go in her pants all day long. I also have tried everything possible to stop this and am at my wits end. went searching on the internet and found this site and others about FECAL INCONTIENCE, and ENCOPRESIS. I am very worried, my daughter start grade 1 in a couple of weeks, that means all day at school. don't know what to do anymore I am terrified to let her go any where incase she has an accident. will be taking her to the doctor again.

Dawn - posted on 08/11/2011

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I'm there RIGHT now Tiffany! I just finished cleaning the second pair of underwear that my 4 and a half year old daughter has soiled within the last hour. I am so frustrated. I have tried yelling, not yelling, punishing, rewarding, reasoning, praying.......she just continues to poop in her underwear. Sometimes she tells me when it's half out and half in......but for the most part she just goes and hides somewhere to do a full blown poop or crosses her legs to keep it from coming out. She starts preschool in a few weeks and I pray that she does not poop in her pants there. I think they'll kick her out for not being potty trained.

Angelika - posted on 08/15/2009

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Ole (3) is exactly the same. He has no problems whatsoever once he has to pee. He notifies me and goes all by himself. But the poo thing is awful for him. It got so bad that the doctor prescribed him a laxativ to get it going. It worked for a while but now he refuses to take it. Now that it's warm I let him walk around naked. But he just holds it back untill he gets a pair of pants on. And complains about his butt hurting. I don't know how to help the little guy but I refuse to let him wear undies and pants when were at home.

Heather - posted on 08/14/2009

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I have the same problem with my son!! He will be 4 next week and it is exactly like your daughter. Will go for a while and next thing you know..back to pooping in his pants. You will catch him hiding and you know what he wis doing. Other times he will tell us he has to go. Like you we have a reward system. A prize box. Worked great for a while and then back to the same old thing. He has been potty trained a year and it makes me feel like I'm not doing something right sometimes. My son started PreK 9 days ago though and he has not done it at school so far. Maybe your daughter will be the same way. I was just like you.. didn't know what would happen when he got there. I figured they would call anytime everyday and say he had pooped in his pants but after 9 days of no call I feel a lot better. I'm sure everything will work out for yall!!

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