4 yr old - frequent potty accidents .. help

Pamela - posted on 05/09/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My oldest is just over 4. She has always had "issues" potty training. I probably started too soon to begin with, but can't change that. She got her potty when she turned 1. We didn't potty train then, but introduced her to the potty, let her sit on it etc. she ran in spurts doing well, but I ever pushed it. Got pregnant w/ #2 and didn't want to push it w/ a new baby coming. Then about 2 months after #2 was born it was end of summer and #1 was about 2 1/2 ... I thought I would give it a try before summer ended and going back to work. After 1 day she was potty trained .... I thought this is great, she had no accidents, told us when she needed to go, awsome! It lasted a week. It went downhill from there. I tried to hold my ground and not put her back in diapers but after a month - I had to. Putting her back in diapers was another battle becuase while she didn't want to actually go to the bathroom and didn't mind being wet, she didn't want to wear diapers. I had no intention of trying again until she brought it up, but a few month later - against my wishes, my husband put her back in panties and insisted she was ready (I had a really big blow out battle w/ him over that). But, I didn't want to send the message to her that she could fight it and keep going back into diapers, so we stuck w/ the panties since he refused to back down. Anyway it's been about a year.... she is "potty trained" in otherwords, she knows what she is supposed to do and she does ---she does not have accidents w/ BM and gets herself to th potty, but for pee --- she wll go weeks w no accidents. Then she goes weeks w/ accidents. She needs constant reminders to pee, but she HATES to be told to go to the bathroom, so the reminders cause battles that basically backfire. But if left to do it herself, she just doesn't seem to realize she has to pee until she starts to pee her pants. I''ve had her tested for UTI and there is no issue w/ that. I am at my wits end

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5 Comments

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Kirsty - posted on 05/24/2010

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I had a very similar problem with my son, had to potty train him just after he turned three ready for school, luckily did it in the summer. Lots of cheap short in the change bag. He was fine and ready to go for nursery. First few weeks had a few accidents, but the school was used to it, so no problems there.

Then his teacher had a quiet word no idea what was said but he had no accidents for six months.

By this time I had had baby number two, when she started getting more active, #1 started to have accidents again. I think it is mostly for attention as I used to get really stressed especially when we were out in public. :)

Now I just hand him his clean things in silence when he needs them, it seems to be working as he is having less accidents.

I have noticed that he only does it now when we are at home or at my mums. Too much going on and he needs reminding to go to the loo. He also kicks off if he is 'nagged' all the time to go.

Have you tried explaining at the start of the day that she needs to stay dry or she won't be able to have certain treats. I tell Cameron when I get him dressed what we are going to be doing in the day, if he wets then we will have to go home straight away.

It seems a lot to take in but I have found that it sometimes takes a combination of tactics and a lot of patience. My son will be 5 in a few months and is still struggling, there is no time limit on potty training and accidents, but if you are worried go back to your doctor for some advice.

I hope I have helped, (At least you're not alone in your struggles)

Lisbeth - posted on 05/10/2010

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Let her run around your house naked for a full week and get her her own little potty that can be in the same room with her so she doesn't have to feel like she is leaving whatever she is playing.