Help! My 3 & 1/2 yo daughter has started pooing & wetting her pants...

Angela - posted on 05/03/2013

Tina Arthur my situation matches yours to a T. Your post was in October 2012 PLEASE tell me it has gotten better! If I were to tell my story I could literally copy and paste yours with the exception of the relatives names of course, same age at this point and everything lol. That is what is so frustrating only at home, nowhere eIse! I do and have always gave her plenty of attention. I have racked my brain trying to figure this out. I wash panties all day it seems. Sometimes she will go potty and sometimes she don't. Any new findings or suggestions? Thank you :)

Misty-Dawn - posted on 12/08/2012

I have been there many times with my son who is now 5. I've had to literally implement time outs for peeing/pooing pants. And it honestly worked. Within a couple days no more "accidents".

Tawny - posted on 12/07/2012

I don't agree with making them wash their underwear phases happen and embarrassing demeaning things you make them do might actually make the situation worse. For whatever reason children do things work through it go with a praise chart or a marble jar were if they potty in the toilet they get a marble if they potty I their pants a marble gets taken when they fill the jar have some little prizes they can cash their marbles for.

Julia - posted on 11/18/2012

I have the same problem. My 3 years old old daughter was going to potty nicely, was getting cookies for that. She loved it. Then, all of a sudden she started pooing and wetting her pants without even telling me. It's vefy frustrating for me. First, I reprimanded her, but it didn't work at all. Now, I am trying to ignore accidents. And i put her back in diapers, too. I don't know what to do. I guess, just trying to be paitient and stay calm.

Amanda - posted on 10/29/2012

most of the time children do this for attention...i am no expert mom or anything but i had this same problem with my daughter when she was younger and now my son, I encourage them to use the bathroom as often as i can in between potty breaks which i take my son to the bathroom every hour and a half as my daughter is well old enough to go on her own now. i do not take toys away for accidents or any form of punishment for that matter i just tell him that he is a big boy and big boys use the potty they dont potty in their underwear it generally works with alot of patients and consistency. Also i was never shy about letting my children go into the bathroom with me when i needed to go and one day my son seen me going to the bathroom and when i was finished he hopped up there and went all by himself for the first time..after all how are they going to learn if they dont know exactly what its for.

Azalea - posted on 10/28/2012

My soon to be 3 year old daugther in just about 4 weeks just stated this about a week ago. Im lost for words and at wits end. I have tried taking toys away and time outs. Nothing seems to work I have even rewarded her when she does use the potty. She just doesn't care anymore. Someone PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!

Tina - posted on 10/19/2012

My 3 1/2 year old daughter has started pooing and peeing in her pants. I took her to the doctors and he said to put her on the toilet every 2 hours to pee but her pooing might be a constipation problem and he gave me a stool softener to give to her. The only place she has accidents is at home. She doesnt do it at preschool, Pappys, Aunt Loris, grocery shopping, etc. The nurse told me she thought it might be a behavioral problem. Im at my wits end because shes still doing it. Ive tried rewarding for going on the potty, Ive tried disciplining, taking things away, putting her in her room, etc. I dont know what to do.

Connie - posted on 09/05/2012

this poo thing is happening to me too.My daughter the first toiket training was poo now all of a sudden she is doing it in her pants.She is starting school soon and dead worried about the situation cos she knows what shes doing and even laughs after which make me going more mad.

Sarah - posted on 04/18/2012

Every parent I know has problems getting there child to poo on the potty you have to ignore it just the same because taking things away and rewards etc are all attention whether its good or bad so totally ignore it and that should work.

Amy - posted on 04/17/2012

Your all are not allow, and now Im glad to know Im not either. Although my daughters story is a little different. She was going pee on the potty w/no problem for a good long time and then out of the blue she started having pee accidents for @ 3 weeks on and off. It was driving me nuts, and she would even go and change herself thinking I wouldnt find out about it (but the outfit change was a dead give away). I was at my wits end and tried everything with the rewards even what worked the first time, but nothing seemed to work. I finally called her doctor and he advised me to just ignor her, she would start doing her dancing around and winning like crazy which of corse i would see what was going on and then the accident would happen even when I did give her the attention. When I started ignoring her (which was hard at first, no lie) she would cry, scream, pull on my clothes, try and get in my face to get my attention, and with in a few days she figured it out and started going pee on the potty again. It was great the accidents were gone. Maybe try and ignor her when she tries to get your attention and see if it works, it help us out & I was very sceptical at first, but it worked.



Now to the poop part, I have had a very hard time getting her to poop in the potty. when we were first training she finally went poopy on the potty 4xs in a row and it was great, no big deal, but then all of a sudden we regressed with going poop in her diaper at night and refusing to go on the potty. We were still doing diapers at night since she was still wet overnight. Now she has been waking up for over a month now dry so we have stopped the pm diapers and just use undies and a pull up over the undies just incase and she has been doing great staying dry. Although now since the diaper is gone she will either go a few days w/out pooping or she will poop in her undies. I dont know what to do with her. We took her favorate things away, she was even giving us stuff when she had an accident and we didnt know it yet, saying she knew she was in trouble.(stinker) Ive tried rewards, she even has her favorate barbie she picked out at the store waiting on the counter for her to go poopy in the potty to get it (she even says she gets barbie when she goes poop in the potty) but she wouldnt go, only accidents. I thought it was her diet, but thats not it cause as soon as a diaper goes on she poops. I dont know what to do. I had found a post somewhere on here that offered a site where you can ask dr questions and of corse I cant find it now, but one dr had a great idea on how to get her to poop on the potty but I cant find it and I accidently deleted the email he sent, because he wanted to wait until we got the peepe accidents undercontrol before we tackled the poo accidents. I wish I could find it.



Good luck and Ill let you know if I have any luck, hope you all do. :0)

Sarah - posted on 04/05/2012

I am having the same problem my 3 1/2 year old has started wetting. and pooing herself out of no where! bribes, giving out to her, ignoring it, I have tried everything NOTHING IS WORKING. I have an 8 month old baby too and I am wondering is it still jealousy even now!?



I have to say I'm extremely shocked to say the least that a lot of you are making a 3 year old wash there pants in the toilet, that's actually sick in my eyes its completely wrong to do that to your own child I would be embarrassed for life if I ever made my daughter do that I would also feel riddled with guilt. sorry I just realty can't get my head around the mentality of someone who thinks that's ok

Elise - posted on 07/13/2010

i agree children should learn to clean up after themselves, its not the toilette water its the having to touch there poop. i think its wrong to force your child to touch there own poop. it can cause them to get really sick, i think there are better ways to go about this problem then your child cleaning poop, it gets under there nails and if you dont clean them carefully and good enough you could end up with a really sick child. i agree there does need to be discipline but not with using poop. but to each their own. i just hope a child does not get sick from that.

Misty-Dawn - posted on 07/12/2010

Regression is normal. I just went through this with my own son who is also 3 and a half. consistency is key.....whatever discipline you use stick by it. with my son i had to litterally take his clothes away. first was the pants..and when that didn't work i took his big boy underwear away. after i did that he didn't like the feeling of not wearing clothes and started to go back on the toillette. And yes I agree with you making your child wash out her own underwear I did that too. And as far as toillette water goes...it's actually a lot cleaner than most people think. however whatever you do do not put her back in what you call nappies....it's not good for them...it could cause an even farther regression....the reward system does not always work for every child...it didn't with mine. in fact they would use the rewards for granted. my son would pretend to go on the toillete just to get the treat and he would make sure he flushed so i wouldn't find out (but it was discovered in the end). At this age and stage most children should be taught to clean up their messes. we are moms not slaves after all. keep doing what you're doing she'll break eventually and realize that this is just part of growing up.

Elise - posted on 07/12/2010

Please dont take this wrong, i do not agree with making her wash her undies in the toilette. i think that is foul and really hope you wash her after that. my point of view on that is that she is gonna get to the point of being scared of having to wash her nasty undies in the toilette and end up holding it and getting an infection! i have seen this happen to my friends daughter. I believe there are better ways to deal with it. taking the toys away is good but you also have to be positive about things or they will revert to bad habits. I think getting stickers and every 10 times or whatever # you choose after she gets 10 stickers for going potty then she gets her favorite toy back or a small treat. you just kinda got to re potty train her, my niece did this for about 2 weeks and my sister started that system and it seemed to work. but making her wash her undies is sick.

Rindy - posted on 07/11/2010

I'm in the same situation. My daughter was 3 in April and has been trained since the beginning of the year. She has started going in her pants again and actually acts like shes proud of it. I've taken stuff away (like going to the pool, seeing the fireworks, whatever toy was too distracting for her to make it to the potty etc). I've even started making her wash out her own poopy underwear in the toilet. she is grossed out the whole time but apparently not enough to stop going in her pants (but at least I don't have to wash them). I don't know that any of my attempts will help you better than they've helped me but I'm glad to know I'm not the only one in this frustrating situation.