Help! my son won't poop in the potty!

Michelle - posted on 06/24/2010 ( 29 moms have responded )

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My son turns 4 on July 13th and he won't poop in the potty. I have had many people tell me that he will, just give it time. I have even had friends tell me to take him at the same time to the potty on a schedule, but that doesn't work either. He doesn't poop at the same time every day and I have even had friends tell me to take him when he poops so that he can get used to poop going in the potty. But he just doesn't get it. I am so frustrated. I have no idea what to do. It is so frustrating and I would like to have him potty trained soon. Any help anyone can give me, would be greatly appreciated.

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Jamie - posted on 07/09/2010

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I am havin the same exact problem my son will be 4 in Oct. He will go pee in the pot but will not poop. One time and only one time did he just go into the bathroom and poop in the pot but since then i just cant get him to do it. the only way i even know if he has pooped or is pooping is when he sneaks off by himself and he comes back with this look on his face like he knew he shouldnt poop in his pull-up and always says im sorry mommy and he says pooping in the pot is hard. how do i get him to realize that it is just as easy to poop in the pot as it is in a pull-up?? Please help I am strugging so hard here.

Steph - posted on 06/26/2010

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hi michelle,my son is 4 on july 31st and i am having the very same problem, he is trained with wees during the day and runs to the toilet by himself,but for poop its a struggle to the extent that i was like u been frustrated and he went the other way and started holding it in and didnt poop in pance or toilet for 12 days,so ive relaxed with him he wears a pull up at night and if he does a poop in it so be it i show no reaction and we throw it down the toilet and wave at it as we flush it away and i say to him poop belongs in the toilet and thats all i say,now im seeing results with him through this new relaxed approach and the other night he had his pull up on and he came to me and said he needed to do poo,so we went to the toilet and he did a small one but he got loads of PRAISE and i made a huge fuss.,he was delighted with himself,so relax with him,just coz u want him trained soon its not going to happen just like that,if u are anxious with him/around him he will pick up on that and ur training is going to be much longer,boys develop at there own pace some train quicker then others but they all get there in the end,so take the relaxed approach and u WILL see progress,AND REMEMBER PLENTY OF ENCOURAGEMENT AND PRAISE no matter how big or small the poop is, best of luck x

Rebecca - posted on 07/09/2010

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I just started potty training my son. My doctor said to have Daddy sit down to pee all the time and have my son learn this way. He said it sounds silly, but if you train him to pee sitting down then he will learn to pooping thing as well. If you don't he will never, or have a really hard time with learning to poop in it. He said once he learns the difference in feelings between poop and pee he can start to stand up to pee. So far it has worked...other than Dad not being happy about sitting to pee when our son is around. However, since Dad sits, he is ok with it too...It sounds weird but its worked so far...

Veronica - posted on 07/09/2010

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Hi,i know how u feel. My daughter is 2 and 4 mnd. She just dont want to poop in the toilet. I tell het that it is ok to poop,but she doesnt want to.

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Brett - posted on 02/06/2012

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I can completely relate. Our potty training is going slowly here. My daughter turned 3 lazy Micrograms I can't get her to poop on the potty either. She always tells me after the fact. She also goes at different times every day. It is very difficult and frustrating. I also have an 11 month old and another bundle due in May. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Brett - posted on 02/06/2012

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I can completely relate. Our potty training is going slowly here. My daughter turned 3 lazy Micrograms I can't get her to poop on the potty either. She always tells me after the fact. She also goes at different times every day. It is very difficult and frustrating. I also have an 11 month old and another bundle due in May. Any suggestions would be fresh appreciated.

Kara - posted on 01/19/2012

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Well, I guess I am not alone! My son is almost 3 and is so good at peeing in the potty, but has never pooped. He throws a huge fit even if I mention it. I have got him to sit and try pooping but he even hates that and its like his body tightens up and won't let him do it, it stresses him out so bad. It was a relief to hear that others are having the same issue and now I feel like we have some time to work on it. I just want him to go to preschool and he has to be potty trained. I will keep hanging in there with the rest of you.

Jennifer - posted on 09/21/2010

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I do daycare of my nephew! He has the same problem. One day, he wouldnt come in from out side. So i asked him if i brought out the potty chair onto the deck, if he'd go. He said yeah!. So i gave it a try! Sure enough he went! For awhile the only time he'd go, is if we put him outside on the deck. I thought forsure that was thing to start. But we got out of that habbit! Now he loves to go!! Try going potty where he loves to go!! Good luck!!

Nayade - posted on 09/21/2010

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Hi I want to say that my son turned 3 in Feb. He too did really well during the day in going pee. When it came to sitting in the toilet he would cry bloody murder as soon as I sat him down to try and poop. So I would take him off put on his diaper and didn’t waist much time on it. I said to myself I’m going to be patient. My dad was over during this summer and told me that I should hose him down outside with the water hose. I refused to do this thinking it was child abuse. One day I came home and my fiancé and Dad told me that they hosed him down. I was really upset about the whole thing. Since that day on my son never pooped himself again! He said he had to go poop because he didn’t want to be hosed down. I can’t say that it was the best advised that I could give someone or that I would do it myself, but I worked.

Jackie - posted on 07/12/2010

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Hey girl, my son turned 4 in May and he has been peeing in the potty forever, but pooping forget it. I had some one at church tell me to take his underware off do I did and I told him, you have nothing on your bottom to poo poo in so you are either going to have to poop in the floor and you will be in trouble or poop on the potty that day and has one accident since... My son has done an AWESOME job I'm so proud of him.... Hope this helps!!

Amy - posted on 07/09/2010

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Again, it's the patience and it's the encouragement. When my daughter has pooped, I gave her the praise! I didn't do the treats since I feel that pooping is something that we just do. I've also had done the "tough love" on getting her to poop. I let her bring a book or two into the bathroom and just let take all the time she needs. I sell Avon, so she likes to look at the Avon brochures while she's in the bathroom.

Amy - posted on 07/08/2010

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I've had the same problem with my daughter and I feel that I've tried everything on the under sun to get her to poop on the potty. I didn't want to "push" the issue since I didn't want it to where she didn't poop at all. I've also told her that she has to poop on the potty otherwise she can't go to kindergarten. Patience, patience! Encouragement and praise. Then one day she tells me that she has to poop and I had to put the foot down and told her to poop on the potty. We have a smaller pottychair that plays music when she uses it. I've told her to use that one and to bring a book. I gave her "privacey" and to take all the time she needs. And it worked, so far.

Sharon - posted on 07/07/2010

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My daughter turned 4 in March and only has been peeing in the potty since last August. I tried EVERYTHING to get her to poop in the bathroom, so I know how frustrated you feel. She had to be potty trained to attend preschool this last year and I was just lucky she only had one "accident" during the whole school year. 2 months ago, at her 4 yr. checkup, the Ped told her she needed to start pooping in the potty. It worked.....for 4 wonderful weeks....then she went back to accidents in her underwear. I have no idea how to motivate this girl so I am just going to wait it out. My first daughter was trained in one week, just prior to turning 3. I THOUGHT potty training was easy. Boy howdy, I was wrong. Hang in there and look forward to the day you don't have to say poop 50 times!

Penny - posted on 07/07/2010

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use to work in a daycare. its because there scared of loseing a part of themself. you need to make it as fun as possible. HAHA ya sounds sick but what i mean by this is you show them you pooped and that you flush the poop too and say goodbye and that its okay. Thay think the poop is a part of them so thay dont want to let it go.

Chantelle - posted on 07/06/2010

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My son had no problem to make a wee on the toilet, but poop... NO ways. He would go to daycare and hold his wee for the whole day. As soon as he got home het wanted a nappy and did his thing - both wee and poop. We also did not make a fuss. At some stage we took him and told him that let's see if the poop won't come. He use to sit on the toilet and we would sing and count etc. He would, after a while, tell me that it won't come. I then took him off, not getting angry or frustrated. Then, thinking that this is not on, we bought him a toy that he really wanted. We put it high up a cabinet so that he can see it everyday and told him that when he makes a poop, he can have it. It worked... He just turned 6 now, and no problem. I would also suggest that you must just give it time. It will happen... Good luck

Amanda - posted on 07/06/2010

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my son is 3 now but he was 2 when we started potty training. he does good going pee but number 2 is hard he is constipated so i have to hold his hands and let him squeeze. he has this thing that he does. he makes a weird face when he is pushing. so when i see him do that i tell him go in the restroom and if he doesnt go i pick him up and put him in there. does ur child have a weird thing he does before he goes poo? if so when he does that then take him to the potty. also to the mom that has a child that likes to hide how about taking one of those boards kids use for projects with three sides. and have the child help u decorate it and when its time to start going poo put the child on the potty and seat up the board in front of them so they are hiding. to decorate it make it something their interested in and can also learn stuff too. hope that helps

Cory - posted on 07/06/2010

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It took us 1 full year to get our now 4 1/2 yr old son fully potty trained, so when people say hang in there they really are speaking the truth. We just tried having him sit there and even tried having him put the poop from his pull ups in the toilet, nothing really worked. Then one day he just went in the bathroom alone while we were all watching TV and came out and said he'd done it! Keep the faith it will happen I promise!

Candyce - posted on 07/01/2010

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we used the treat method with our daughter and shes been totally potty trained since 2 1/2. she loves freezies so we gave her 1 for a pee and 2 for a poop and it worked for us

Michelle - posted on 06/30/2010

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I thank all of you for your opinion. It h as really given me a lot to think about it. But here is my problem. You see my son has a speech delay. He doesn't understand things like a normal 3 year old, almost 4. Some things he just doesn't understand. We have to talk to him in one word sentences. If we tell him to do something and it has more that one thing in it, he only hears part of it. But the past 3 days he has kept his underwear dry. He hasn't peed in them, which I am very thankful for. Now it is the pooping part that we have to work on. I had a friend ask me when does he poop and it used to be in the morning and she said take him when he first gets up in the morning, but now he doesn't it whenever and I can't figure it out. I just wish I could get him to understand it, but he really doesn't get it. I am really hoping to get him potty trained soon, but right now I will take him peeing the potty and deal with the poop when it comes. Please keep posting your ideas and what you all have done. They are a great help. I really appreciate it.

Jennett - posted on 06/30/2010

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None of the other postings indicated whether or not the child attends daycare or stays at home with a parent or other caregiver. My daughter attends daycare/preschool. Originally potty-trained by age 2, she suffered a major setback of unknown origin. As her third birthday approached, her teacher and I joined forces. I told her to be firm with my daughter and even go so far as to say, "Only babies wear diapers/pull-ups... you're a big girl and big girls get to move up to the 3-year-old class on their birthdays." It might seem cruel, but we just had to resort to putting the choice on her. Stay with the babies or move up to the 3-year-old classroom. Well, my daughter thinks she's smarter than everyone and the thought of being stuck with the "babies" did NOT appeal to her at all. Within 3 days her pull-ups and night diapers were non-existent. That was almost 9 months ago and she's never had a set back since. In fact, she's had, maybe 1/2 a dozen "accidents" but is doing extremely well. Tough love doesn't work for every kid, but it sure did with mine. It just came down to giving her two choices: be a baby or be a big girl.



P.S. I think special treats and "Potty Parties" are a waste of time and send the wrong message to the kid. Bodily functions are a normal part of growing up and I think you should just explain that to your child. Kids understand a lot more than we give them credit for. I told my daughter that everybody "poops". We had to run down the list of every family member and friend we have. She was so surprised to learn that all these people were "pooping" and she was being left out. She couldn't wait for her poop to come out lol!

Tia - posted on 06/29/2010

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I don't know how to get my 1 1/2 year old daughter to feel comfortable with pooping in the potty. So, I am glad that you asked this question, because she has pooped in the potty before but when she noticed what she was doing she became afraid and she just kept pointing in the potty with that "OMG what did I do" look on her face, and I tried to tell her it was what she was supposed to but she didn't understand...but hopefully she will get it sooner or later.. Just keep having patience with your son I am pretty sure he will grasp the concept later ....Wish you luck :)

Amanda - posted on 06/29/2010

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my son is 2 and a half and he poops all the time in the potty because i put cheerios in the toilet and told him to poop on them took 2 days and now he is potty trained

Crystal - posted on 06/29/2010

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With my son when he was 3 1/2, I bought him some dollar store presents and rewarded him 12 times, after the 12th time he was trained. BUT my daughter 2 1/2 I am having the same problem. She isn't impressed with any rewards or anything.

Becky - posted on 06/29/2010

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my daughter pees in the potty but she tells me she pooped after she is done thank god she is still in pull ups. she is two jully 11
becky powers
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Kelly - posted on 06/29/2010

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My son turned 4 back in February and we still cant get him to poop in the potty. We have tried everything! I've tried bribery with candy, sweets, toys, trips to a fun place, everything. And so far he has only done it once. He tells me when he has to go, and so we put him on the potty, but he just sits there. Then he gets off and goes to get a pull up and poops in the pull up. I've even tried cutting a hole in the pull up and putting him on the potty and that doesnt work. He is so great at peeing in the potty. He even remembers to lift the seat up and put it back down! Haha! His pediatrician says to just let it be and dont make a big deal about the potty and just let him go in his pull ups when he needs to, so that he wont get constipated. But as soon as he poops in the pull up, it comes off right away and he gets back into underwear.

He also has this thing, like he is ashamed of pooping, which I dont know where he got that from. He tells me that when he needs to go, that he needs somewhere to hide. So I tell him where he can go hide and then he does his business. Anyone else experience that?

Rebecca - posted on 06/29/2010

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i jst want to share something dr phill said n i tried have never looked back! i brought a toy that i knew my daughter would do any thing to have by that night she had done her 1st poo in the loo,this continued 4 a week with a new cheep toy every time then we jst stoped buyin the toys n she does it any way because of all the praise she got,my sister has a lil boy nearly 4 and tried the same as she was having no luck n has had lots of poos in the loo he still has accidents but is doing alot better than hes was before the toy trail.im not saying it will work but is worth a go i know how hard it is n could not believe it worked 4 my girl.shes fully trained because of this advise

Melissa - posted on 06/28/2010

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put your potty in where the tv is and explain to him that when he feel that weird feeling in his tummy that means he has to go poop. But make it fun i know this is going to sound stupid but i use to say "make a tree" and then laught about it. I also use to put a little table there and put colouring books and toys even let him play the play station. Anything once you get him to go a couple times it will be all good. Because i know there were days i wanted to rip my hair out.

Steph - posted on 06/28/2010

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paitence is the key miranda,i dont know how many pairs of underwear a day i have washed out,but hey thats a part of the training process,its so important not to lose ur head with ur son ,it will all come together for him when he is ready,like i said to michelle be relaxed and show no reaction when he poops in his pance,show him where the poop goes and explain to him calmly.its a slow process but im starting to see results through this approach,good luck girls

Miranda - posted on 06/28/2010

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I cant help but, im with ya on this topic. My son will poop in his underwear and then come tell me but, when i go right to the potty with him he wont sit down for more than a second. He has pooped only 2 in the potty but wont do it anymore. Im about to loose my mind!lol i hv had to throw away so many pairs of underwear. I need help! its almost lk hes scared of it or something. When u find the key, please let know

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