how can I potty train my 3 year old who is terified to sit on potty.

Kim - posted on 05/26/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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please I am desperate to find a way to potty my son to go poop. it is drasticaly becoming an area of friction for me n dad. I have tried to reward, scold nothing works. he went potty 2wice in a thomas tent in my kitchen but then he had trouble going and it has been awful ever since.

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Kim - posted on 06/04/2012

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thats exactly it he does not eat well and needs the lax approved by dr. too. and days it does not work and days it works too well. Which is why Im so willing to let him do it in his own time because the last time he did it it hurt so bad for him to sit down n poop he cryed and stopped going on the potty and now screams Im scared it hurts and gets a pull up him self out n runs to kitchen and braces on the counter to to stand and poop. Poor thing

Kim - posted on 06/04/2012

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thank you will try the rewards again. He is on miralax every day so that makes sure he is not blocked up because of the lax he gets runs alot which does not help any.

Timora - posted on 06/04/2012

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We started a week ago trying to potty train my 3 year old girl. So far we are having mixed success. She just didn't want to sit on the potty and stickers or chocolate chips/mini marshmallows would only work for about 2 days before she just didn't care. So we had a mommy/daughter day and she helped me put together a prize bag (some small things from the dollar store and a few larger prizes) and if she stays dry all day or poops on the potty she gets to choose a toy from the prize bag. At the same time if she has more than two accidents in a day or goes poop in her underwear than one of the prizes she earned gets put back in the bag. My daughter will actually purposely pee on the floor, so a consequence became necessary. She also stays dry through the night most nights, so I know she is physically capable - it's a matter of her mentally wanting to. I also make her try to go about every 1 to 2 hours and when she protests, I remind her that she gets candy/prize for going on the potty and loses things for having accidents.

Also - with the pooping she would sit for 30 seconds and say I tried and be done. So what I finally did was set the timer to 10 minutes and tell her she had to stay and try to poop until the timer went off. Then I gave her something to do while she waited. With my daughter the best thing has turned out to be an educational game or show on my Nook. Then on the first day we called Grandmas and told them about it and made a big deal of what a wonderful thing it was. I still have to catch her at the right time or she will go in her underwear - one day I had her sit on the potty with the timer 3 times before she pooped.

She also has the promise of a trip to the zoo if she has no accidents for a week. For my daughter that doesn't seem to be immediate enough to work.

Like someone else said though, definitely make sure he's not constipated. Instead of scolding if he has an accident, be very calm about it, tell him pee and poop need to go in the potty. I have my daughter help clean up pee accidents.

Karen - posted on 05/29/2012

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Hi Kim -

My son is now 3 and is fully potty trained, even through the night. I had bought him a small potty but he only sat on it a few times and then refused to use it. I let him come into the bathroom with me and my husband everytime we went just so he could see us using the bigger one. After a short time, he asked if he could sit on the big one too so I bought an insert. My son used that a couple of times and then didn't want that anymore either. He pulls down his own pants and will get up on the seat himself (he does have trouble still pulling them back up). Anyway, I did buy a bunch of stickers and did the sticker chart thing in both our bathrooms as well as at my Mom's (she takes care of him during the day). When he succeeded in that, we stopped the stickers and told him if he wanted more stickers, he would only earn them when he went poopies now. I also bought him a pack of underwear with multi-characters that he liked liked: Cars, Toy Story, Wall-E, Incredibles, Diego...I told him that he would have to go on the potty or he would get "Woody or Buzz" etc dirty with poopies and they would not like that. I or my Mom would also bring him to the potty every 2 hours no matter what and make him sit at least 2 minutes. In order to do that, I would try and sing with him, ask him goofy questions...anything to keep his mind off of sitting there. You could also show him all the steps that he needs to do with a favorite animal and there are a bunch of cute potty books out there for just boys or girls too. My son also liked to watch an old DVD I had for my girls called "Potty Time with Bear" from the Bear in the Big Blue House Show. Good Luck and be patient, that's a big step for a young child. Also, I wanted to add...if your son is having a hard time pooping (sonstipated), that is going to throw off the whole potting training thing. I give my son Benefiber a couple of times a week (Ok'd by his doctor) in one of his drinks, just a tiny bit because it works so well within a day...too much he will have the runs and won't have a chance to even make it to the potty. You won't be able to train him if he's constipated which isin't his fault. Kids don't eat very well at this age and don't drink enough. I actually had this problem with all 3 of my kids. Before, I write you a novel...Again, Good Luck!

Kim - posted on 05/28/2012

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thankyou for the advise have tried all of it already my problem more so is how frustrated dad is getting with it all. I am willing to let him do it in his time but dads neg attitude and fight with it is soooooo frustrating

Brittney - posted on 05/26/2012

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If you're using a small potty chair, try the big potty with an insert. If you're using the big potty with an insert, try a small potty chair. Sticker chart may work. I still have a little trouble with poop with my daughter (she is 18 months) and a sticker chart seemed too advanced for her. Don't get mad when he has an accident, either calmly clean it up or have him clean it up (put the poop from the underwear into the toilet and rinse the underwear with cold water) Good luck!

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