How Do I Get my Son over the fear of Pooping in the potty?!?!?!?!

Katherine - posted on 08/22/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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Hey... I am new to here and this ... My son jsut started potty training about 6 months agao and he does great with wearing underwear and never really has any accidents and pees in the potty jsut fine!!! But every time he has to poop in the potty...he screams,shakes,Turns red & plainly jsut freaks out & he wont go at all!!! He has went twice ,but most of the time when we put a diaper on him he goes quickly... How do I get him over his fear & solve the whole diaper issue?!?!?!!??!

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Stacey - posted on 08/30/2009

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yay im not alone with my problem,,,my son is 4 & he pee's in the toilet no problem wear's undies refuses 2 wear pull ups, doesnt wet his bed at night. but he wont poo in toilet, he will poo in undies though, he has seen me & dad sit on toilet, but to no avail, hes keen on goin 2 school next yr but i have told him "you are a big boy peeing in the toilet & not peeing the bed but you need 2 poo in the toilet to be able to start school" hes not scared or having trouble with gettin em out he just wont go...i have caught him doin a poo in undies i rushedhim to toilet see if we can get it in there, but as soon as he sits on toilet nothin comes out.......any advise?????

Clarissa - posted on 08/24/2009

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hi katherine i am also new here , how are you and yours, firstly can i just commend you because having faced the same ordeal its clear that it takes hard work n persistence , my son is almost 3 years old and ive had a lot of issues relating to what you are saying , but i have found that if you hold there hand while they are pooping an tell them its ok to poop in the potty that they relax an just go , the reassurance makes them more confident in saying that my method so far has worked but its early days for me still, hope this helped , kind regards clarissa x

Allison - posted on 09/07/2009

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If he likes to poo in the diaper put the diaper in the bottom of the potty chair so he can c that his poop will still hit the diaper.

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Stephanie - posted on 01/04/2014

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Ex-lax is the answer for kids who won't poop in the potty.
Try www.doctordaum.com

Sabrina - posted on 11/30/2013

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we finally got our 3 1/2 year old daughter to go to the potty. we had to somewhat force it though she was intentionally not going. she now goes pee without a problem and no accidents either but getting her to go poop is still a challenge. she will hold it for 3-4 days unless we put her on the potty and tell her she has to sit there until she goes poop, she dont like it still, she shows out crying etc. but i stand my ground with her and give her a book and she calms down after a few mins and sits there and goes poop. We now just have to get her to go everyday instead of holding it and once we get that done she will be ready for school. I believe that children these days show out b/c parents arent firm enough with them they let the kids run the show and until the parents stand their ground the kids will continue to run the show. kids are too smart for their own good and know exactly how to work their parents.

Virginia - posted on 05/05/2013

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My son pees in the toilet but refuses to poop in the toilet. He is 3 years 7 months old.

Lindsay - posted on 09/08/2009

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I have a little girl who is having poo poo issues also. I am so glad to see that others are having problems too. My little girl is holding her bowels for 5-7 days. We have been to her Dr and I I was told that potty training is a huge step in an child's life and that once she is totally comfortable with peeing, pooping will gradually come. My little girl has been put on laxatives which actaully didn't work. She still help it. We went back to the dr and was told to jsut give it time.

Jamie - posted on 09/07/2009

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3yr old boy-same issue---I justed asked another friend today this same question. She recommended buying a favorite toy that your son really wants and putting it on his dresser in his room (unwrapped) so he can see it. Don't allow him to play with it until he has pooped on the potty chair three times. I am going to try it...at this point what do I have to loose.

Allison - posted on 09/07/2009

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is he possessive about his poop? my daughter is working on potty training and does well pottying on the potty but when we poop its a different story. she would actually run away from me when she pooped in her diaper shouting "no, my poopie." when she poops in her diaper i take the poopie diaper and put it aside while i change her. we then take her poopie diaper to the potty and dump the poopies in the potty. i let her flush the toilet and we talk about poopies go in the potty and say bye bye to your poopie, etc. we have been doing that for about 3 weeks, finally yesterday she pooped in the potty! she didnt fuss at all i didnt even realize she had pooped until we go to get off the potty! we went from screaming and running away to not even batting an eye....

Jennifer - posted on 09/07/2009

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This is what I did with my 2 yr old son: whenever he poops in the diaper, take him to the toilet and say poop goes in the toilet. Put the poop from his diaper in the toilet and flush it. If you see signs that he is getting ready to make a bowl movement, take him to the toilet and sit him down. Poop goes in the toilet. Squat down to be eye level with him, rub his back, or whatever else to make him feel comfortable and safe. My son got put off by splash back, putting paper in the bowl beforehand helps prevent this. It might take a few tries before he is comfortable enough to actually go on the toilet. At first my son held it till he had a diaper back on, but now he goes ahead and poops. Hope this helps, and good luck!

Leah - posted on 09/02/2009

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I have great news, Eli pooped on the potty and hasn't looked back! He's now pooped on the potty about 10 times, and not once did he ask for a diaper. Finally, we decided to make him go pee on the potty before giving him his diaper to poop, and we started rewarding his efforts. We told him we'd give him M&Ms for each minute that he sat on the potty when he had to poop, and for each toot. We also told him that if we had to buy another box of diapers we wouldn't have any money for dessert. On Sunday, he peed in the potty and was working on earning some M&Ms. He was in the bathroom with my husband who was congratulating him on trying. He asked for a diaper, my husband nonchalantly stalled, Eli pooped and hasn't looked back since. Yay!!! I hope some of these suggestions help others. I know that like with everything else in parenting, the problems and solutions are individual. Fortunately, this worked for us. And, remember your sons won't go to First Grade pooping in their pants. This too shall pass. :)

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Talk to your child and see why they don't want to poo on the potty. You may be surprised why they don't want too. For older kids 3 1/2 and above you can try withholding privileges like movies or cartoons. Be sure that your child clearly understands what you expect of them. Be sure to let them know what they can do to make you happy and proud of them. Good luck and remember don't try to force as you will find greater resistance.

Sharice - posted on 08/31/2009

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I went through the exact same thing with my son. It takes boys a minute to feel comfortable going to the bathroom in the first place. The only thing that I can reccommend to you is let nature take it's course. I used to get so irritated when my son would have an accident on himself once I put his pull-up on, but he would urinate in the toilet just fine. I believe that your best bet is to keep the dirty diaper on him and once he becomes uncomfortable remove it, also, when he does poo in the potty congratulate him and give him rewards. That way he'll think that he's doing something special. It's only about 40% of boys that do this, don't get discouraged. You can also try letting him use the bathroom while your husband is in there so he can see that if daddy does it then I can do it routine.

Leah - posted on 08/29/2009

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I'm in the same boat. My three year old son is potty trained, wears underwear, has dry naps and sleep, doesn't have accidents, but won't poop in the potty! He had already gotten in the cycle of holding his poop, which made it harder, pooping hurt, so he'd hold it, etc... He seems calmer about it each day that passes, but he's still asking for a diaper for pooping and we are still obliging. He's the kind of kid who seems to come around to things when he's ready, I'm hoping the same thing happens with pooping on the potty. We'll see... I would love any other suggestions that have worked for others.

Tracey - posted on 08/28/2009

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I am in the same boat my almost 4 yr old will stand to pee all the time but will NEVER sit to go poop....he would rather go hide than go poop on the potty! I have tried bribes, charts, stickers, candy, little pottys, pottys that fit on the big potty, big boy pants, pull ups, and leaving him naked (this he screams and crys until he is able to get clothes on). I am at my wits end with it. My MIL is telling my husband all the time that we are terrible parents because he isn't trained yet. I have even tried to start his younger brother training and the younger one is screaming in terror as well! It seems like we are going to be going on round 2. I am really out of options PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

Mary - posted on 08/27/2009

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Is he standing to pee? If so, could the fear be about sitting on the potty? If so, you could spend some low-pressure time on the potty (either clothed or not, depending on his level of fear) reading a book or whatever activity he would enjoy; no expectation of poop.



I don't want to say this could be your problem but wouldn't feel right if I didn't share: My daughter (now 7) withheld her bowels when she was training. She developed mega colon, which has in turn caused urinary problems (apparently the nerves involved are integrated). Basically, as she held her bowels, they became big and hard. Big hard poops hurt, which made her hold it more and the cycle began. Talking to her doctor, he told me that she should poop every day. If your son were constipated, he might have the same "it hurts"/fear cycle. If so, it might not hurt just to put a call in to the doc, just to be safe. Our urologist has suggested a daily dose of Milk of Mag.



For the record, I have three kids, #1 trained easily in a matter of a week, #2 I mentioned here(she still wears a pull up at night, but otherwise has been completely trained for a few years, daily movements without meds for about a year), and #3 is my 3-y.o. son; who I have been taking it slow & easy, to make sure we don't have the same problem.

Katherine - posted on 08/26/2009

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Thank You for all thge replys I appreciate it. I have a daughter too & she was easy she potty trained herself within a week of her 2nd birthday but i have been having poroblms and I am glad i aint the only one with a son afriad to poop. I will try these all & see what works for me thanx again to everyones replys!!!

Brittney - posted on 08/25/2009

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I have a little girl..She's 3 and what i did was i made a potty training chart on some construction paper and i bought some stickers and other lil $1.00 prizes. If she peed she got to put a sticker under the pee section and if she pooped she got a sticker and a "BIG" prize. Its been 2 weeks and she's fully potty trained =] Hope this helps.

Kim - posted on 08/24/2009

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My son did the same thing only worse. He would go into a room, shut the door and poop on the carpet. For some reason I think they are scared to poop in the potty and I don't know why. What advice I have for you is do not put a diaper on him no matter what. He might not poop for several days but that is okay. That is what I did to my son and trust me it was hard to watch him cry but after about four or five days he couldn't hold it in any longer and ran to the toliet. He was shaking, crying still scared to poop but I stood in front of him, and put his head down to my legs where is back is arching. I then stroked his back from the top down and the pressure released it and from then on he is 100% toliet trained. Good luck!

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