How do I potty train a stubborn 3.5 daughter?

Charity - posted on 07/03/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I have tried rewards and never have learned any other way. My daughter is 3.5 years old. The only time she will tell us she needs to potty is when she wants some attention and then most of the time she doesn't even go potty. I don't know what else to do. We have tried taking her in there every hour and she wont go but as soon as she is back in her underwear she will potty in them! What do I do?

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Wendy - posted on 08/15/2012

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I feel for you Charity. Going through the same thing with my daughter who will be 3 in Sept. She just wants her Pull Up and sometimes even makes the potty tumble. Some times she makes no fuss. I so far have not tried the underwear yet but that's my next step. I guess it all depends on their personality too. She has a very strong personality. I know it's a frustrating experience for us moms because we want them trained and we also get pressure from others since they are older but eventually they will get it and I haven't heard of a child still wearing Pull Ups in school. Our kids will get trained eventually in their own time and then we can put this behind us :)

Jamie - posted on 08/11/2012

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My husband and I offered a really big incentive. When he went poop on the potty 5 times in a row he got a bike. Keep a chart in the bathroom so your tot can see her progress.

Katrina - posted on 07/27/2012

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A friend of mine said to have my twins in undies with a pull up over it , but I just felt it was waste of time and money , so I set a goal for myself as well as for my boys that I want them in undie by their 3 rd Bday. Which totally worked, i was extremely happy. It took a lot of patience consistencey, and also depends how long you leave her on the potty? I allowed the boys a 5 min grace period. I also did a song for boys too it went " we are going Pee Pee in the ? Potty! After awhile they started finishing the song ... I gave them books to read, they were there special potty books, which I left them in the bathroom. As well they always knew where it was , and after every thirty minutes I reminded them, okay let go potty, made it seem like it was a game we would dance , hop or whatever came to mind.
Also my boys love toy story three which their undies were , so that's another award let her pick out her undies if she can.
Also I notice when I shared with family members like grandparent and aunts plus uncle they seems to be very excited to use the potty. Which also they rewarded them with treats
So good luck !

Barb - posted on 07/20/2012

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This may sound silly but I received a free potty training DVD from pull-ups and sat my son down to watch it and it really helped him understand. He started using the potty that day and we've never gone back to diapers or pull-ups. He was 3.5 and extremely stubborn but the potty dance and the kids his age in the DVD gave him that extra push he needed.

Julie - posted on 07/20/2012

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My son did that.As soon as we put pants on him he would pee. It took about a month of accidents and he got it. Keep with it. He was three when we finally put the diapers away.

Krystal - posted on 07/14/2012

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My daughter was a bit of a roller coaster in the beginning, she was basically potty trained judt before she turned two and then her baby brother was born and she said she wanted to be a baby too. I let it go for a couple months as i was trying to adjust to having 2 kids and not just one. When i got back into the potty training i was trying everything. And i knew she knew how and when she had to go because one day i saw her "holding" herself and i said "lets go to the potty!" She said "no i dont want to" i tried to convince her to no avail she just kept saying i dont want to, and then peed right on the floor in front of me. Finally one day i said, "uh-oh Kyrie, looks like these diaper dont fit you anymore! They dont make diapers any bigger than these, i guess your going to have to learn to wear your big girl undies and keep them dry!" and literally from that moment on she was potty trained, she had 2 accidents on the first two days and thats it.

Now, a couple weeks ago we went to a family reunion and we were outside, it was very hot out, and she was playing so hard she kept having accidents that day. i let it go, but those accidents came home with us, like she was waiting too long before saying something. I was getting angry about it, so i took a minute to rethink how i was going to do it, and i talked to her, and together we made up a potty dance, just two lines and she made the dance moves up. im embarrassed to put it on here, but it might help someone. Our song goes "Kyrie went pee pee, time to do the pee pee dance!" and then we dance to whatever dance moves she chooses. Now she gets excited to do the dance and she has been back to normal! and really, whats 30 seconds of time for a fun little dance?

Oh, and she gets a little piece of chocolate (i got the mini snickers and stuff the tiny little squares) for peeing, and 2 for number 2s!

all kids are different, but i know several other moms who have said that saying the diapers didnt fit anymore has worked flawlessly for them as well. And she does wear pull ups at night, but we never call them diapers, they are special nighttime underwear!

I hope something i said helps! if you have more questions feel free to pop me a message. :)

Laurie - posted on 07/06/2012

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Some kids need frequent rewards. I started potty training my 2 yr old boy girl twins by rewarding them with a mini marshmallow every 15 min for having dry underwear and lots and lots of praise. When they have an accident i sit them ln their potty. So far so good. It looks like your daughter wants attention and this is a good way to give it to her. We also have sticker charts when they go potty. Good luck!

Aisling - posted on 07/04/2012

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Let her walk around without a diaper or underwear on & make sure you have plenty of paper towels on hand. Let her have an acciedent or two that way so she can learn the feeling of "Oh I have to get to the potty quick!' Also if you want to try sitting her on the potty every hour set an egg timer for about 10 minutes, give her juice & some potato chips (anything salty) which will help her have to pee & if she doesn't do anything then just wait another hour.

Brittney - posted on 07/03/2012

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Let her have accidents and have her help you clean them up. She can take off the wet/soiled underwear and/or clothes and get a new dry pair. Keep taking her on a regular basis.

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