how on earth do you get a todler to poo on the toilet?

Samantha - posted on 06/26/2011 ( 93 moms have responded )

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our daughter will wee on the potty but now insits she must use the toilet, wi=hich is great, but as for going for a poo that is out of the questuion. ive tryed the "do you want to be a big girl" routine & the rewards systems, and the constantly asking if she needs to go and trying to look out for the signs of her needing to poo plus much more, but getting NO WHERE! shes due to start nursery in sept and this is getting more and more incresingly fustrating and theres only so long i can keep calm. why will she not poo on her potty or the toilet? she knows when she needs to go or when she has dont it. help anyone. x

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LAtu - posted on 10/03/2011

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I potty trained my daughter at 16 months only because we were expecting another baby before her 2nd birthday... I use to take her and sit her in the toilet every 15mins or half hour till she got the hang of knowing that she needed to use the toilet to do poos, yes she did accidents on the floor but she got there, she used the toilet at 18 months and then out of pull ups at 20 months... I guess all babies are different but I did the same to all my kids and all is well... i had 3 kids under 2 when my baby was born but only my newborn was in nappies, the other two were already out of nappies, so allow them to have accidents but always remind them and show them they need to sit in the toilet to do poos, children learn but constant Repetition... hope something works for ur toddler...

Lina - posted on 09/26/2011

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Samantha this topic came up on oneof my child development modules. the most excellent time to establish potty training is when both you as the parent and your child are physically and emotionally ready to begin. I would advise you to wait till your child is able to pull down his pants on his own. This will help him to insure he knows what to do before sitting down on his potty. Also make sure he can sit down quietly in one position for two to five minutes. This will help him to relax while sitting down on his toilet waiting for his “pupu” to come out. Make sure he understands the physical signals that mean he has to go and can tell you before it happens or even hold it until he has time to get to the potty.
And lastly keep in mind that boys because of maturation issues they tend to be about 6 months later than girls. my daughter is 2 1/2 and is finally on just underwears during the day and pampers at night. :0)

Jennifer - posted on 09/23/2011

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For #2 (which he has just starting getting the hang of) I put him on the big potty with a training seat attached, give him a couple of books and I leave the door open and wait for him in the hallway (he won't poo in front of an audience, only if he's alone) once he has gone he gets a special reward, like a new Matchbox car or something similar. He gets stickers when he goes pee but we try to up the reward for poo b/c it's harder for him to do it and it's a bigger deal when he does go.

Shannon - posted on 09/22/2011

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Poop is something a child can control. You need to encourage them to use the potty when they need to pee or poop. Threats are the worst way to get a child to use the toilet. One it can instill fear into them making them afraid to use the toilet.Encouragement is the best medicine for training. Use a reward system when she goes poop in the potty. Find something that she enjoys do or playing with and make it special for ONLY when she uses the potty. NEVER use food as a reward. Say she has a favorite video, only allow her to watch it if she uses the toilet instead of going in her panties or a game she wants to play. She will get it figured out, but forcing a child to do something they are not comfortable with yet is the best way to keep it from happening. Give her options that work for her but gives you the outcome you want. Set a toilet schedule. Most children poop 3 times a day, if they have the proper diet and it generally is around the same time every day. My daughter poops once in the morning, once at school and then generally around 5 in the evening. Watch for the times she poops and sit her on the potty, give her an option she can sit on the potty or not play with a toy she wants to play with. You can be in control but still allow her her independence which is what a child her age wants.

Lisa - posted on 09/21/2011

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I just got my 2 1/2 year old to do it for the first time! I told her that if she pooped on the potty, we'd all go for ice cream. That got my older two involved in encouraging her because they also wanted ice cream. I put my kids in underwear and no other clothes so they are more aware that they are not wearing underwear (it's easy to forget with clothes over them). It worked like a charm with my daughter and she did it in the potty on the second day!!!

Autumn - posted on 09/20/2011

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I am also having this problem. My sisters 2 year old is only 6 weeks older and uses the potty without hardly any accidents. He knows to go on the potty to poo because he goes on the potty at my sisters house but won't at home. He just started this new thing where he gets a pull up and puts it on to poo in that. Like many other moms, I have the used all methods of rewarding, punishing, and praising. Nothing works!!!

Elyria - posted on 09/19/2011

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My oldest had trouble pooping too. What I finally did was wait until I could tell he had to go and then set him on the toilet with a book. After struggling for about ten minutes, he settled down and looked at the book...lo and behold - we had poop shortly thereafter! He's not had a problem since.

Jolijn - posted on 09/18/2011

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I had the same problem with my son, he is three now and finally got him to go poo on the potty, I told him that his favourite toys wouldn't wake up unless he had done poo on the toilet, for some reason this was the only thing that works and I've tried everything else. My mum had the same problem with my brother and then one day she told him her money was finished (she showed him an empty wallet) and we couldn't buy any more diapers for him. She had tried everything else as well but ever since she showed him the empty wallet he was dry and did everything on the potty.
Every kid is different so I'm afraid you will just have to try till you have found something that works for you. Good luck and hope you find a solution soon.

Ashley - posted on 09/18/2011

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Gosh our daughter used to hold her poop in for fear of plopping. We just had to pay attention to what she was doing at all times and although she screamed like bloody hell every time we made her sit when she was about to poo, she got used to it after a week.

Shannon - posted on 09/16/2011

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my advice is don't push the issue. my son just started head start a week ago and had to miss the first few days due to tummy issues. poor little man was so nervous about having to go on the potty around the other kids that he held it in and was really constipated. after a labor day weekend of stool softeners, he was ready to go to school. seeing that the other kids are going potty too, helps him to understand it's okay and he can do it too. he has been pooping on the potty, on and off, still having some accidents but not as many now. bribery works too! he pooped on the potty one night and immediately said, "now I get a bumblebee car!" he loves his transformers:) it's a work in progress but will happen...all kids are different and some take longer than others. patience is key...good luck!

Shanequa - posted on 09/15/2011

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dont say poo or doo doo ,i tell my three year old its making a stinky and she goes

Rachel - posted on 09/13/2011

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Same situation with my 2.5 year old son. Fully pee potty trained, has been for just over a month but refuses to consistently poop in the potty. He has only pooped in the potty a few times and I am not even sure what made it happen those times versus others, maybe just catching him at the right time. When he begins to show signs (hiding, concentrating) I rush him to the potty and he will either work his hardest at stopping himself from pooping or immediately say "I'm done". He will tell me as soon as he poops in his underwear. Next time I might just make him stay in it for a while, might be motivation since he hates being dirty or wet. Good luck, you are definitely not alone!

Anna - posted on 09/13/2011

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I was in the same situation with my daughter who will be 4 soon. Man we tired everything in the book. Celebrated with her, praised her and bribed her but nothing was happening she just didn't want to go. The more I pushed her the worse it got. When your daughter starts nursery school and everyone is doing there business she will pick it up from the other kids. There is something about little kids watching other little kids. My little girl was learning nothing from me and the more I pushed it got worse. She has been in school for 4 weeks now and is pooping and peeing on the potty because someone at school did it. I am not sure if you are using the big potty or a small one. Sometime using a small potty helps. Just stay positive and I grantee you it will happen. Hope I was some help to you. Good luck:)

Sabrina - posted on 09/12/2011

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I just finished potty training my 3 year old and getting him to poo on the toilet was no easy task! We ended up making him sit on the toilet for about 10 minutes each time he pooped in his underwear. We also made it clear to him that pooping in his underwear is icky and that they were going in the trash if he pooped in them. I would also always ask him "Where do we go poopoo?" and he would say "On the potty". At some point it must have sunk in. I also don't see the problem with maybe putting a kid in time out or in his room for "quite time" if they chose to poop in their underwear. And when he finally would poop on the potty we made such a big deal and he was so proud of himself, and still is. He is so proud to be a big boy! The other thing that helped him was having his friend (that is potty trained) come over or to go to his house and seeing him go potty. That helped encourage him a lot! Or maybe instead of a friend, you or an older sibling could do it. Just some ideas. OH and no matter how much you just want to put the diaper back on, don't! That was the hardest thing for me, especially because we live in an apartment without a washer and dryer so doing laundry on a daily or every other day basis was not going to happen. Good Luck!

Dorothy - posted on 09/12/2011

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Don't rush them the more they feel rushed the more the can get stubborn and refuse to go potty

Siobhan - posted on 09/12/2011

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Just perservere, it wil come in tym, just encourage them to use the potty/toilet, and when they do even if they dont do anything, praise them for sitting there, when they do go, give them huge amounts of encouragement, and show them what theyve done and tell them that thats the right thing to do. gd luk,

Jayna - posted on 09/11/2011

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I used to have that problem but my son just got the hang of it. I had to tell him almost everyday to go potty. Once he pees in the potty he will go poo, and when he does make a huge deal out of it. Clap and say things like 'good job', 'I'm so happy" He'll be happy too and keep doing it. It takes time, dont give up.

Lisa - posted on 09/11/2011

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It might work to make a face for them like you are pushing and make up a song for pooping. This worked for my son. We would make the face together and sing, "Come out poopie, come out poopie!" Whatever you can do to lighten the pressure on them to perform and make it fun.

Tiffany - posted on 09/10/2011

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Tofs often want privacy for when they have to poop, My son would disappear as well, when I noticed he was a little quiet or he disappeard to a corner I would swoop him up and immediately sit him on the pot. Our rewards where Hi-fives no treats and a lot of positive praise. I also allowed him to walk around the house free of pull ups and undies, to allow him to identify or feel the discomfort of being wet or leaving a trail. Then you just let your child know that there pee or poo belongs in the pot.

Corinne - posted on 09/09/2011

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My just 3 year old is daytime potty trained. I had tried everything. We bought panties together and I told her she didn't want to poo on or get minny mouse wet. Then when she pooped in diaper we would put in potty and she would get to flush, the rest would go in trash. We did this for about a month when convenient before school. Once she started school by the second day she wasn't having any more pee accidents. Thank you preschool!!! Guess she had to be around other kids and teacher I guess. It happened within the first week. By the end of that week she pooed herself twice trying to hide, she really didn't like it, and when I saw she was going I picked her up and put her on the potty. With in two days she pooed in the potty!!! Now she's going like a champ. Schoolhas been a big help with this. You can't force it, it will happen when it happens.

Bella - posted on 09/08/2011

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My oldest daughter Alexia is 3 and I was having the same problem. Because she was already in panties I had to keep throwing them out because they were some times too aweful to clean. I got tired of throwing them away and since she refused to use the potty I had her clean her underwear herself. I simply told her that if she couldn't use the potty then she had to clean up the mess her-self. Surprisingly it worked and we haven't had any pantie problems since. Now we are working on making sure we wipe properly... Good luck

Kristie - posted on 09/07/2011

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My son was like that at first. I could tell he had to go though because the way he acted. Have you tried putting her in big girl underwear? She realize then its not a diaper. Thats what I did with my son and at first he still wouldn't tell me I just had to watch his actions and if I thought he was about to go, I would make him go on the toilet and wouldn't let him get up till he went. Sounds mean but it worked! Now he is almost fully potty trained except naps and night time. I hope something helps!

Bernadette - posted on 09/06/2011

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it is a lot harder to poo on a toilet than it is in a nappy - if you watch your daughter when she is doing one in a nappy, no doubt she squats to do it? This is the most natural position for a bowel movement, as they don't really need to push too hard, and it also allows for complete bowel evacuation. A sitting position is not really natural for doing a poo, and is a lot harder to get the hang of. A toilet is harder still than a potty, because they aren't even really sitting level - their bottoms hang through the opening. What kind of potty do you have? If it is a sit-down one (like chair/toilet style) try either switching to one that the child has to crouch down over with legs on either side, or if it is a sit-down one try putting a foot stool in front for her to put her feet on so that her knees are up in front of her chest. My daughter only started toilet training a week ago, and other than night time has it pretty much down pat already. She got the wees by the third day but had a bit more trouble with the poos. Hers is a chair-style potty. Now I put the stool under her feet and she is getting the hang of it.

The other thing you can do is watch for the signs that she is about to do one - my daughter would always go and crouch down in a corner so I would know she was about to go. If you make sure that the potty is always in whatever room you are in (take it with you from room to room as you go) then as soon as you see she might be about to do one, whip off the nappy and plonk her down on it. Even if she has already started in the nappy, she can finish on the potty. That's how we managed to get our first poo on the potty. Now she is getting the hang of it only a week after starting. Good luck!

Melissa - posted on 09/06/2011

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i have found it helps if you let them watch you go to the toilet by leaving the door open then when you finish show them what you did tell them what it is and that you were good for going to the toilet and they tend to just copy and they think mummy and daddy can do it so can i and so far ive had no problems with poos with my soon to be 3 year old

Leanne - posted on 09/05/2011

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To get a child to do a poo on the toilet, I just tell my son i have to go and do a poo and its his turn. At first it didn't work , buty slowly they get used to what to do.Children are interested in watching what they do ,when they do go .

Darcie - posted on 09/05/2011

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for a while I had that problem too.. But I have found two ways of dealing with the pooing in thier pants that works.. one is if they go in thier diapers or pants i make them clean it up.. they have to rinse thier underware out in the toliet and they have to take a wipe and clean themselves and the floor if need be... the other thing i found that made going potty poop wise fun is i let them read a book on the toliet.. it gives them something to do while they wait for nature to do its think and it makes pooping fun lol..

Michelle - posted on 09/04/2011

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I really couldn't tell you how to get a child to poo on the toilet. My oldest daughter that is now almost 17 would literally hold it to the point of pain and constipating herself, but then she went on a 2 week vacation with grandpa and she had no accidents after he told her she would get a spanking if she didn't tell anyone she needed to go...if he couldn't get her there than it was his fault but if she just failed to tell him and just went in her panties than it was her fault. She had no accidents, not for 2 weeks or even on an 18 hour road trip! She was home for barely an hour when she went and hid and pooped in her panties. I had to spank her for not telling anyone, but then no other accidents. Now my almost 3 year old daughter is a different story. Just a week ago my husband tried to get serious about potty training and nearly got his teeth knocked out by her kicking feet when he tried to just get her to sit on the potty chair! The next day he put her panties on and said that she was not wearing diapers anymore and that she needed to either go in her pretty panties or on the potty, 45 mins later she was on the potty without any prompting from anybody. She has had 2 accidents since with pee just after waking from naps and is not potty trained at night. She has been pooping in her potty chair and has not had even one accident with poo. I guess she just had to do it on her own! I have no idea how to train her at night. I try to limit her fluids but I really haven't been to persistant about it...It has only been a week and I am so proud of her that I don't want to push her too hard for at night time training. I mean when she wakes up she takes of the pull up and gets her panties on. Even when she has the pull up on before bed she won't pee/poo in it, she uses her potty. We keep her potty by her bed and she does use it at night but she is never dry in the morning. She even carries the pot to the toilet to empty and flush it herself...she did that from the beginning...she is very curious about what she makes and how it comes out. She bends forward while she goes potty on the chair and sees that she made that...then she flushes it down the toilet. I think it helps that she sees what she makes...I know that she likes not getting that stuff on her anymore! She really hated getting her diaper changed...especially if she had a bad poopy diaper...must be why she was so willing to abandon them...but on her terms!

Jennifer - posted on 09/04/2011

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ohhhhh ive was having trouble with that same thing...but now all he wants to do is poop on the potty and PEE in his pants :/ i guess its a win win .. but the DR told me DONT NOT FORCE HIM TO POTTY train he will go when hes ready...BUT is she going to keep buying pampers for my son...LOL hes in the LAST size as it is......and they are getting really expansive!!! so we just work on it all day....everytime we are outside i make sure we go to the potty before we shop and after we are done!!!

Jennifer - posted on 09/03/2011

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Sometimes it just needs to be their own idea. My daughter didn't want to poop on the toilet until I finally told her that only big girls got to wear the pretty Dora panties and that if she was going to keep pooping in them she simply had to wear a pull-up. She HATED the pull-ups. When she realized I was serious suddenly going poop on the toilet didn't look so bad. She tried to argue with me for a couple days but when I actually threw away a pair of panties she liked (she had soiled them beyond anything I was willing to try and clean!) she got the point that Mommy meant it. She had to use the toilet or she wouldn't get her panties. She wanted those panties more than she wanted to be defiant lol.

Sandy - posted on 08/31/2011

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Hey my near 3 year old won't get on the potty or toliet at all!! So you're ahead of me!!

Amber - posted on 08/31/2011

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I'm having the same issue we've been training her sinceher first birthday but had a stage of regression since I opened a daycare and now she's finally pottying again but still no poo :( she ll be 3 in 2 months and I really want her trained by then there has to be away for this to end :(

Sara - posted on 08/29/2011

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Hi, when you use the toilet allow her to into the room with you. Dont ask her to come just let her natural curiosity grow and she will. My daughter usually comes in chatting away and asking what I am doing and before she was fully toilet trained she would sit on her potty and copy. She now uses the toilet all the time. All I did was let her copy me so she knew it was totally normal and it progressed to the toilet naturally. Let her lead, she will let you know when she is ready but DONT make an issue of it. As soon as it is an issue it is doubly hard to resolve. Good luck. Sara

Jocelyn - posted on 08/28/2011

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I have heard of that before (though Im not 100% about the eventual outcome) where the child needed a safe space to poop before they would feel comfortable. Going back into a diaper seems like a back step but if it keep away the mess and provides a safe outlet for the "yucky" poop then why not? The story I heard was a cousin of mine who as a child would ask for a diaper, go into her playpen and hold the railings tight while she pooped. If everyone didnt leave the room she would scream at them to "Get Out!!" Funny story anyways even if not the most helpful for the soiling issue :P

Incentive + Safety + Knowledge = Successful potty training.

April - posted on 08/27/2011

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My son was dry day and night for 3 months before I found a solution for the pooping problem. It worked for him. I told him he could go poop in the potty and get M&Ms, or he could tell me he needed a diaper to go poop (which I figured was better than going in his underwear) but if he went in his underwear he'd get a spanking. He went in his underwear 2-3 more times, but has only had a couple true accidents since then.

Stace - posted on 08/11/2011

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well, im still struggling! we have had one poo on the potty and one poo on the toilet, both she was very happy with, but these were weeks ago.
i have tried everything i can possibly think of, and i have tried not talking about it just ignoring it altogether and that didnt work either. i got her to pick out peppa pig underwear and things like that but she still has no problem pooing in them!
im at a loss!

Laura - posted on 07/31/2011

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I've been struggling with this one for a while, my son is close to four now and still only uses the toilet once or twice a day. I had tried most everything, but the one thing that really works is letting him run around in his underwear/pants and nothing else. That's how I got him to poo on the toilet. he couldn't stand soiling his favorite Scooby Doo underwear! The most important thing is to not rush your child, they all get around to doing it the right way eventually. Be patient above all else! :)

Elise - posted on 07/07/2011

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I've just started with my daughter and so far every poo has been in her pants too! She will wee fine on the toilet but hides to do a poo. I am currently trying putting the poo in the toilet and getting her to sit over it and to then flush it. She is slowly getting the right idea. She will now fart on the toilet which is a start. I don't think she had ever seen her poo before so it was a bit puzzling for her.

Shantelle - posted on 07/05/2011

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ugh Im with you guys, I have no clue, I have tried everything, not to mention my son is late with using the potty anyways ( he is 4 1/2, we tried everything then the dr told us to leave him alone, then about 2 1/2 weeks ago i simply said kay im not changeing you anymore use the toilet he said ok and hs peeing in it ever since) Its great that he is peeing in it and he will poo sometimes, but he doesnt like to. today for example he went pee got off the potty went into my kitchen and pooped on the floor! I was frusterated i do admit that because i feel like we keep getting behind, every one says be paient he will do it when he is ready, but thats what they said about the peeing thing too, and that didnt work out. Im hoping if i take him as much as possible and make him st there for a bit he will go, then we can show him how awesome it is to poo in the potty, i was also told ( havent tried this one yet) that if he poops his pants, take his pants and him into the washroom put the poop in the toilet and tell him his poop belongs in the toilet!

Lucy - posted on 07/04/2011

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Thankgod Im not the only mum with a Poo Problem.lol

my son has been wee ing on potty for about 3 weeks now all the time- ive had poo on the floor... which was nice...but no he will not poo on potty... very odd as id prefer to wee in my pants than poo ...lol....i

have bribed/tricked/made it fun/got into debt through buying treats for potty events- but still no joy- x

but we just need to be patient apparantly as it will happen eventually ....

Sacha - posted on 06/30/2011

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with most kids if they are scheduled you have a good idea of about the time where they would normally have a poop. With our son in the beginning he was scared to poo in the toilet because of not understanding that his body was getting rid of a solid waste. A lot of kids are scared of pooing, and going in a diaper makes them feel more comfortable because they don't see it.

if you know when she usually would have a poo then you can take her to the toilet and play a game with her, and tell her constantly that it's ok to poo, let her play and keep occupied while pooing. Always tell them it's ok, it's normal, we all poo. And hopefully it will get easier with time.

our son took a week before he would go alone and poo, before that we would have to go with him and keep him distracted. It takes time... Good Luck

Karissa - posted on 06/27/2011

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I am also having some trouble with my son but one thing I have found that works 90% of the time is that while we are at home he runs around with just a long shirt on. Since there is nothing covering his bottom he runs to the potty anytime he needs to go. Of course this wont work in public but it is a starting point. Hope this helps! Good Luck

Stace - posted on 06/26/2011

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i am in exactly the same boat - i have tried EVERYTHING! she is totally dry day and night but she continues to poo herself daily. she knows when she is going, because she usually takes herself off to somewhere quiet, but she will not ask to go. i have left potty/toilet very accessible to her, wondering if she just wanted to be on her own when she did it, but no luck. the other night she broke wind before bed and i asked her if she needed to poo. she said yes, so i took her to the toilet and then she said she didnt need. eventually i put her back to bed and within 2 minutes she had soiled her pyjamas despite the potty being next to her bed. im at a loss!

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