I need help potty training my 3 year old son!! I have tried everything and it doesn't seem to sink in!!!

Summer - posted on 07/03/2009

My son will be 3 in 5 months and he is showing NO signs of wanting to learn. When he turned 1 he was ALL about using the potty. I bought everything needed. I was told once you put them in the pull ups, don't put them back in diapers. He has been in them for almost 2 years now. UGH.. I push him all the time to use the big boy potty. He just sits there and plays, or flushes the toilet over and over again. I've been told to let them come to me. He has until the last pack of pull ups is GONE. They cost too much money to be playing.

Suzanne - posted on 07/02/2009

Hi, I am on my third child with training and it was far easier with my daughter than my oldest son (10) and my three year old son now. But I think that Laura Chan has the right idea. The other thing is - sometimes they just aren't ready. My oldest was 3.5 and something just clicked and he was running to get into the house to go with his mother's helper. Remember - they'll know how to go when they're your age. It will just take time. But one day the message will finally click. I agree with the interrupting of playtime. I have to let my son bring an action figure with him or we "pause" the play so that he'll be "right back". Sometimes he tells his toys he'll be right back. Every day is different. Most days we have at least one accident. I still have him in pull ups and try to time it every hour and fifteen or half. He tells other people, so I think we'll be fine in September for preschool - BUT I think for most kids it takes a longer time.

Paula - posted on 07/01/2009

Ok, I just got my 3 yr old trained in May and its now June, he will be 4 in September. I gave up on it... he didn't know that, but everyday I'd just mention something that might bribe him into going and if he said no... that was the end of it. In reality... if the child is not ready... he is not ready. I tried everything under the sun that there was to try, but he was stubborn. What clicked in his mind was we were going thru IEP to get him into school for his speech... he saw kids go into the bathroom and come back out. I told him that they are big kids and that they wear underwear and use the potty... since then... he's had few accidents... when they do use the toilet... make the biggest deal out of it in the world... act as if you were at a concert or something... cheering him on! He got off track once since then, and it is so very frustrating, but whatever you do, DO NOT show him your feelings about it, if your frustrated or mad or sad about it... hide it and pretend that it was only an accident b/c it will scare him... I've cried to my own mother about this... but not in front of him, and today he is now once again fully potty trained!! Just take your time, keep trying different things... every little boy is different. At the end of this month I am going to attempt my daughter who already has an interest b/c of her brother! Good Luck!

Jerry - posted on 07/01/2009

I have the same problem. My son is 3 1/2 years old. I was told that boys need to be older to try the potty training so I have waited until now. I have tried everything rewards, discipline, stickers, the cheerios, bribery,etc. It doesnt work. I set a timer for 1 hour every day from the moment he gets up in the morning until his nap and then after his nap until bed time. I make him go into the bathroom and try. If he doesnt go and wets himself its timeout. If he does go I praise him, dance around, make a big deal. Some days are better then others. I am on day 10 with this. I am frustrated and tired of cleaning undies but if I give up he knows that if he is bad for a couple of days I will stop making him try and we are back to square 1. So, basically try something that works for you. Stick to it even when its hard and your tired. In the end its worth it.

Rachel - posted on 07/01/2009

Okay I live in Mississippi but not from here. I have to boys and need advice to start potty training. I asked my hubby's family and we all live out in the country they said the way they potty trained their boys is letting them pee outside. I didn't try that with my first son cause he went to daycare and they showed him a different way. But my two year old is too short to stand and can't sit still long enough to sit. So I have been letting go outside and it works. I know it sound red-neckish but hey it save on diapers! I still teach him to go inside when I have time but I am a full time student and work.

Staci - posted on 07/01/2009

I am having the same problem with my 3 year old. Not only is he not going to the potty, but he has a complete meltdown when I tell him (in a fun voice) that it's potty time - Ugh! Any suggestions, please forward them to me please :-) Thnx!

Terri - posted on 06/30/2009

My son is 40 months and still won't use the potty!! He used it once a day for a couple of weeks last summer and then stopped. A girlfriend recommended putting him in underwear and put a diaper over the top so he will feel uncomfortable, but there won't be a mess around your house. I am thinking of trying this during the weekend. I have 3 children in diapers!!! I have tried bribery and that doesn't work.

Irene - posted on 06/24/2009

What depressing reading! I'm going to start toilet training my twin boys next week - they are 2 yrs and 8 months - and i was looking here for inspiration.....!!!!!!! Think i'll keep looking, but i'm hopeful cos they have shown some good signs already and ask to go to loo every so often so fingers crossed!

Cassandra - posted on 06/23/2009

My son is almost five and is still not potty trained! I hope you find a solution that helps in your situation!

Anna - posted on 06/23/2009

I would keep putting him in the underwear, my ds did not get it at first either, but the more he got wet the more it started to click. We also bought the Peter Potty urinal, which has been amazing and he can use it all by himself since it adjusts to his height. It took a good week of him constantly wetting the underwear until it clicked, a few accidents in the following 2 weeks and now he is fully trained. At first I reminded him and took him to the potty every 1/2 hr , then increased to every hour, now he justs goes on his own. Good luck!

Kelly - posted on 06/18/2009

my daughter finally strted going a month ago, and she is 3. what she really liked was the video called Potty Power, you can get it from Best buy or your local library! My son also loved it and was trained quick!!

Pamela - posted on 06/18/2009

My son is about to be 3 years old on the 21st of this month (June) and he also is not interested in the potty. I can tell he knows what I mean and probably could go to the potty if he chose too. He takes of his pull-ups when he pees and poos asking to be changed at same time. i guess I will have to try leaving him naked and running him to the potty every 15 minutes and on. Maybe the combination of the two will work. I also am at my witts in because I know he is ready. I just cant figure out what is making him not want to use the little potty.

Angie - posted on 06/18/2009

It really helps to listen to other moms going throught the same things. My son is 3 years 3 months and we have been trying to potty-train him for over a year now. Every morning we take him to the bathroom to sit on his little potty, and this works very well. He even gets to use the "big" potty sometimes, and this is fine. He gets treats everytime he goes, and this works great. The daycare he goes to takes him on the hour, every hour, and this works well, too. We however, cannot get him to go on his own. And don't get me started on the poo! :) I guess I always thought that by 3 years old they should be potty-trained. Shouldn't they? All the other moms know what they are doing, and THEIR kids go to the bathroom before they are 3 years old, don't they? I now know that that was wrong! For anyone going through this like the rest of us the best advice I got here is....Patience and Consistency! I think that eventually, they all GET IT at their own time and pace, just pick a form of "teaching" and stick with it. I agree that if you keep switching the tactics around they get confused and in time it ALL stops working.

I also have a daughter that is 15 month and she is already trying to go the potty. I guess, she saw us take "brother", and she wants to mimic him in everything he does. She will go to the potty and try to pull off her diaper. We, now, put her on every hour just like we do for our son and she goes! I joke around, and tell my friends that it will be a hoot if I can get my daughter potty-trained BEFORE my son! lol.

I have also been threating that on the weekends when we are all free, I was going to let my son go around the house AND our front yard, naked as a jay-bird and see if that helps any! lol. When he takes his clothes off for his bath at night, he loves to run around the house and show off his "butt" to any and all who will look :), and sometimes this can be quite an extensive amount of time; but we have noticed he never has an accident then. I hope this helps!!

Kristina - posted on 06/18/2009

Patience and Consistency!

I started training my son on and off when he was 2yrs old. I had a baby also so consistency was difficult and I think that is a major problem. You have to be consistant. A couple months before my son turned 4, I had been trying him in undies and not worrying about accidents. He was doing better so when we went out for a day trip, I kept him in the undies. We tried a couple of times for him to use the potty while we were there, but he was too excited. He wet himself while we were playing mini-golf so he wasn't able to finish playing and we changed him into dry pants and a diaper. He never wet himself again after that.

His poopies on the other hand, were alot more difficult. My son didn't want to do them in the diaper or on the potty, so he started holding them in. It's a more common problem than people realize I've found, but not many people talk about it. After over a year of trying everything from children's ex-lax to suppositories and finally needing to give him an enema once every week, something just clicked and he was potty trained.

I honestly think parents just try too hard to get it done when its a good time for them, not when their child is ready(including myself). Patience is a must and when you do decide what method you're going for - you've got to stick to it until the end. The on and off stuff is just confusing for them.

My second child was just constantly told what the potty was for and was allowed to follow us all in there whenever we went. Eventually she decided on her own she wanted to try it and we put her in pull-ups. We let her decide if she went in the potty or not and if she went in her pull-up we would just ask her where it should normally go and she would tell us the potty. She just turned 3 in May and she has been potty-trained for 2 weeks now, completely on her own. :)

Holly - posted on 06/18/2009

My son (3 1/2) went to visit his grandparents for most of the day 2 Sundays ago. They put him in underwear and he had 3 accidents that day. They made a big deal about how awful it was to pee in your pants and now he's been dry (except pooping) ever since. He did tell me that Sunday was "a hard day", which my mom felt awful about. At least now he's doing good! he,he

Sherri - posted on 06/17/2009

My then 2 year old son was having the same problem, then I took him out to see the kids get on the bus for school every morning and he wanted to get on the school bus so bad, so I told him that when he starts using the Potty he will be able to get on the bus, and go to school like a big boy, well 2 weeks later He was coming up to me letting me know he went pee pee or poo poo on the potty ! Oh and the Cheerios work great once they are standing up and using the big toilet! but it really helps starting sitting on a lil potty, a big toilet has to be scary for them when they are so little.

Laura - posted on 06/17/2009

I didn't successfully potty-trained my son until he was 3 and 3 months. I wasn't sure he had full bladder control and needed to test him. I was at my wits end and tried this:



Bare bottom. Got him to go to the bathroom to pee every 10 mins. Used an egg timer. Increase the time interval to 15 mins, 20 mins, eventually 30 mins. Did it for 3 hours a day for 3-4 days. Eventually he would go without reminding, and would tell me whether he needed to go or not. That did the trick for poo poo as well. As I would not let him sit on the potty to wait and play, he would only go when he needed to.



My son is now 3 yrs and 8 months. He would get up in the middle of the night to go use the bathroom, so I consider him fully potty-trained.



It was as if a switch had finally been turned on for him. Before, I think his resistance was due to his perception that sitting on the potty was conflicting with his play time. I drilled into him that he only needed to go and use the potty/toilet when needed. It was to be a fast trip. I guess it was all mental conditioning.



Good luck to you!

Laura - posted on 06/17/2009

Hi, my oldest son who is now 4 had similar problem's in that department! He started nursery in September when he was 3 and a half. Luckly i had just got him out of nappies by then but i had also tried everything with him like yourself. new pants new potty books sticker's etc...in the end a just said to him look i am not putting a nappy on you during the day because the boy's n girls at nursery would laugh at him and call him...harsh i know but it worked eventually. i just put his pants and trousers on and told him to tell me if he needed the toilet, and it soon stuck in his head he had to tell me he needed to go. Yes we had a few accidents (well quite a few) lol and he still has them now not as often thou mainly when he is playing outside! but u will get there too......Hope this was some what helpful good luck =)! x

Vivi - posted on 06/16/2009

yeah thats a really hard.I try to my son too until a year and thank God it's work.I've been try since his age 1 year.right now he is 2 year ( 28 months ).right now he doesn't use a pull up or diaper anymore at daily time,just at night went he slept he use pull up.I still try with the nighttime.... :)
I just try to give him watch if mommy and daddy feel want to pup or pee we going to potty not in the our underwear ( because everytime if I want pee or pup he want follow me,and I put him or sit him in his stroller.I put his stroller in beside our bathroom so I can reach with easily ... :) ) so everytime or everyday he saw that.and 1 day I try to put him in our potty ,,,,well its take 5 minute to make him to pup and it's work at his age 17 month.and then at age 2 he can pee at potty.maybe you can try that.

Katieann - posted on 06/13/2009

My 3 year old was the same way. She would not go on the potty for nothing. Then one day she put on a pair of training pants and she been dry ever sence. So just give him a little more time he will let you now. An try putting a cheerio or friuit loop in the potty and tell him to try to sink it. It sounds funny but it might work.

Alayna - posted on 06/13/2009

yeah i sure could use some advise on this. i guess i just have a stubborn child!! LOL i have bought underwear with thomas on it since he likes thomas, but that didn't seem to click either. hope someone else can give us some other good ideas.

Donner - posted on 06/13/2009

Try putting chreeoies in the bpwl and have him aim for them

Dawn - posted on 06/13/2009

Awww,I wish could help but I'm pretty much in the same boat as yours. My son will be 3 in a few weeks and we're not close to the end, at all. At one point, I let him walk around all day w/o a diaper or anything and he'll stand there playing while the poop's hitting the floor, lol! I've got all hardwood floors, so clean-up's a snap. But really, he could care less. I even bought "big boy panties" that look just like his dad's. I LOVE the tighty-whiteys. SO cute!! But he doesn't care. I've done the M&M's. One if he pees in the potty and two if he poops. That doesn't motivate him a great deal either. Hope someone else can chime in here and give us both some unique ideas!

Teamohia - posted on 06/13/2009

hey my son is 3 and 2 mnths and i have just got the pooy training done for the day time. i have been told boys start later usually around 3and a half. if he's not ready and cant tell you the signals have a break for a month and come back to it. what worked for me as i am a stay at home mum was staying at home for a week and taking him to the toilet with a little step and those toilet seats that you put on the toilet. and i would simply put him on every hour on the hour. most of the time there would be nothing but i would ask him to try. when he did go there would be heaps of praise and excitement and telling him how proud i was..ect. and after that they start recognising there own signals and will start asking. if you find this difficult another method is go half n half half the day...say the morning do unerwear and the other half of the day a nappy. now the tricky part for boys is the poo's in the toilet that took me alot longer to master as he would scream for a nappy and refuse the toilet. but once you know and they know that its comming you must be storng and tell him he is a big boy and to go on the toilet. As soon as he goes the once it will be easier every time after that. its a fear for boys as it feels like there willy is going to drop off lol. i hope this helps. this is my first experiance with toilet trainnig so i am no expert but this is what i have learnt along the way. oohh one ore thing normalise the toilet for him allow him to see you go and hiss daddy if he is around so it doesn't seen so big and scary. i hope my rambeling has helped. good luck