To EVERYONE TRYING TO POTTY TRAIN

Danielle - posted on 04/29/2010 ( 43 moms have responded )

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I keep seeing the same question asked over and over again.
"My son/daughter refuses to potty train! He/She screams when I take them to the potty." Or the classic, "What age did you start potty training?(mostly from mothers of 1 year olds...)
BE PATIENT!!! Potty training is a major habit to enforce. It's a skill they have to learn. Most kid don't even have the proper bowel or bladder control to be able to hold it before the age of 2. Pushing them into something that they are clearly not ready for.
If he screams and cries, he's not ready. Don't force him. My son did the same thing. The, a month after he turned 3, he decided he was too big for diapers, so we picked out some boxer briefs like daddies and he's been fully potty trained (not even night accidents) since that day. Kids do it when they are ready. Don't push him to the potty if your reason include the word "I" Just because you're tired of cleaning his butt or paying for diapers doesn't make him ready. Let it go! No kids go to kindergarden in diapers!

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Rachelle - posted on 05/22/2010

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I think if your child is old enough to tell you when they are hungry and pick their own snack, they should be old enough to pee on the potty. YOU are the parent and YOU are in charge! Don't let you LO fool you!!

Sarah Elizabeth - posted on 01/08/2013

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Thank You Thank You Thank YOU!
My little man is eager to participate but not all the time and not everyday. I am encouraging him, but he is not old enough just yet.
He will be 2 at the end of March. When he does get to the toilet for its intended purpose I praise him for it, and when he doesn't, there aren't any punishments. I think he's doing well just trying.
Pull-ups don't work for everyone, but are more difficult for him to remove than classic dipes.
He loves removing those along with his pants and running full speed through the house.
My goal is to get him underwear for his birthday and lots of detergent so we can start the climb up potty training mountain without looking back.

Danielle - posted on 05/24/2010

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I'm so glad everyone is finding this helpful. I just thought it was about time someone took a different approach to the potty training "battle". It shouldn't be a fight. It like teaching them to read, or write, or ride a bike. It's a behavioral human habit that has to be learned and coached. Here is my exact process if it helps someone, I'd be a happy mom!



Step 1: Tech them how to pull thier pants up and down. Let them try to pull up their bottoms in the morning or after bath time.



Step 2. Change their diaper in the bathroom. If it's number 2, dump it into the potty. That shows the connection between the diaper and the potty.



Step 3: Track you childs bowel movements and urination. If you know they pee 15 minutes after they drink, have them sit there for a few minutes while you read a story or do a silly dance. (anything that will make them relax.)



Step 4: Continue until it starts to be a habit. They will eventually get it! It just takes patience and persistence!



Step 5: when you go to buy their first underpants, let the child pick them out and buy them a size bigger. It will help them be able to pull them up and down on their own.



My son pooped on the floor for about a week before he was okay with going in the potty. It took a few times in time out, but that's what worked for him. He only goes in time out when he makes mommy really disappointed, so he understood that it wasn't the right place to go. But he's more emotional than physical when it comes to discipline. And I gave him lifesavers candy or dried pineapple whenever he went poop in the potty.



But like I said, these are the steps that worked for me. Every kid is different and no one knows a child better than his parents. The most important thing to do is to let your child determine the time it takes for each step. The day we put underwear on my son, he NEVER once had an accident, not even at night or during naps!

[deleted account]

SJOE THIS IS WELL SAID. WE PUSHED OUR DAUGHTER BEFORE SHE WAS 2 BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS TELLING US THAT WAS THE CORRECT WAY TO GO ABOUT IT. VERRY SORRY THAT WE LISTENED BECAUSE IT WAS VERY HARD AND JUST MADE IT TAKE SO MUCH LONGER BECAUSE AFTER A WHILE MY DAUGHTER WOULD NOT WANT TO POTTY TRAIN ANYMORE AND IT BECAME A DAILY STRUGGLE. SO NOW I DONT WANT TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN WITH OUR BABY BOY WHO IS TURNING 2 IN SEPTEMBER. SO GUESS I CAN DELETE MY POST ABOUT WHEN TO POTTY TRAIN BECAUSE A LOT OF THE COMMENTS HELPED ME AS WELL. THANKS

Heather - posted on 05/26/2010

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I dont agree with you with this one. I tell my daughter that if she is old enough to tell me that she soiled her diaper and to go and get the whipes and a diaper by herself and tell me that she needs to be changed then she is old enough to know that she needs to go to the potty. My daughter can talk well so there is no language barier of saying i need to go and there is a potty in the living room and a potty seat in the bathroom. So there is no reason for her to be in diapers especially if she is having me change her as soon as she goes.

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Bernadette - posted on 01/21/2013

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I think it's so much easier to wait until your child is both physically and EMOTIONALLY ready. With my daughter, she was telling me that she had done a poo in her nappy, and then started to tell me BEFORE she did it, so we thought we'd give it a go (she was not yet 2) and we got nowhere with it. We were also too inconsistent with it, as we'd have to go out and so I'd put her in pull-ups and to her, that was no different to wearing a nappy as she knew she could just go when she wanted to. We gave up for a while, and started again a few months after she turned two. I put her in underwear, and kept her in it even when we went out (I used the training ones with the plastic insert so that it would contain a lot of the wee, and not end up in a big puddle on shopping centre floors, etc) and she cried and didn't want to the first day, even after being praised for doing it on the potty. The second day, we had resistance all morning but I made her sit on the potty for ages later in the day as I knew she needed to go but was holding it in. When she finally did, she was rewarded. After that, she started telling me when she needed to go. The third day, she had one accident in the morning, and that was it for wees - from then on, she told me. It took a couple more days to get number 2s, but she was pretty much fully potty trained within the week because we ended up waiting until she was READY. Who knows how long it would have taken if we'd perservered with it the first time? I hadn't intended to start night time training for a while, but she started waking me up during the night to tell me she needed to go anyway, even though she was wearing nappies, so we decided we might as well tackle that too. My son is now 21 months and he is also at the stage of telling me when he's done a poo (and sometimes before) and wants to sit on the potty so occasionally we humour him and let him give it a go but we know he's not ready as he doesn't want to sit there and doesn't know what to do when he does - he cries if you try to make him stay there until he does something. So for now, we let him play on it when he asks but will wait until he's really ready before pushing it, and hopefully he'll get the hang of it quickly too.

Lisa - posted on 12/11/2012

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This makes me feel better. The other day I put my 19 month old on her little minnie mouse potty all she does is flush the hand to hear her yell "hurrray" LOL then she actually did do a little something I made the mistake myself of saying "Yea" then i was chasing a naked poopy toddler around the house. Brother!

Ashley - posted on 11/24/2012

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My daughter will be three December 2012 and potty training her is a nightmare (been trying to potty train my daughter since she was 17-18 months old)... She knows when she poops or pees in her diaper and asks me to change her bum for her... She get's the diaper and wipes and lays down and waits to me to change her... She can even change herself, so what gives?? Why is potty training her so difficult to do?? She has gone on the potty about a handful of times and each time I do praise her for being such a big girl but then she goes right back to having an "accident" and it starts all over again... She can sit on the potty for awhile and the moment she get's off she has an "accident"... I am so frustrated and I think I'm at my end with this whole potty training business... Any suggestions, I need help...

Jennifer - posted on 08/25/2011

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Well I am struggling right now, and I do not want to push him, we have been in pull ups for a while and he has no concern to be potty trained . After he pottys in his pull ups he is fine. He does not act like he cares! He just digs in it! He is too big for diapers! So that is why we went to pull ups in the first place. He is 2 1/2. At 3 they want them potty trained at the daycare he is at. Any suggs?

Cory - posted on 05/28/2010

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I am there with you, don't get me wrong I am ready to not have to change diapers anymore but my boy just isn't to that point. He knows the difference between #1 and #2 but he still is not impressed with the potty chair yet.

Hannah - posted on 05/28/2010

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My son is 2 1/2 and is not potty trained... He understands what it is to go potty, as he has successfully done it a few times. He just is not ready to or able to tell me before hand. I do believe that when HE is ready he will tell me.

Dyan - posted on 05/25/2010

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My daughter will be 2 in a couple weeks and I wanted to start potty training her. I put some training undies on her today and sat her on the toilet to get her used to it and did that every 10 minutes. But then I put her diaper back on because I was trying to talk to her about the toilet and asked her if she liked her big girl undies and if she wanted to use the toilet like mommy and daddy and she said no and then bobby (that's what she calls spongebob). I just don't think she's understanding yet, she's still not ready and I don't want to push her to do something that she's not ready for. so maybe in a few months i'll try again but i'm just going to wait til she starts giving me signs that she's ready. she watches me go to the bathroom so she's familiar with it and she walks around wiping herself with toilet paper but she's just playing around. she doesn't understand what she's doing.

Dorothy - posted on 05/24/2010

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I have three children. My two older ones were well over four years old when they finally got it. We have decided show the process to our two year old and let her go at her own pace because the older two fought of inch of the way. We hope Allison will get it earlier then the others but we are not stressing over it.

Christina - posted on 05/24/2010

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My girl finally did it! She peed in the potty. Hubby had gotten onto me about a couple accidents she had ans she thought he was mad at her. I thought it would hinder her success, but she did it! Last night, before bedtime, she shared a couple glasses of ice water with me. She kept getting up and down, up and down, then closed her potty lid and sat on top of it. I figured I'd give it one more try, so I raised the lid and sat her down. She did it! Before celebrating with me, she turned to look at her daddy to make sure he was ok with her peeing there.

She just turned two Friday and we've been trying to get her to use the potty for almost two weeks. It hasn't been easy, especially when she peed in her diaper or pullup just a couple minutes after you put them on. She learned how to hold her pee when getting changed, so I have to break that habit now. We'll get there, tho. YAY!!!

My hubby and I were, according to our parents, potty trained by age 1, so I felt a lot of pressure when she was younger to get it done by then. I decided to wait a while, but still wasn't sure when to start. We bit the bullet two weeks ago and, for now, success!

[deleted account]

yeah shes actually trying to potty train with me there with her i never said anything to her she told me toilet so i took her to the toilet and tried to go. all i sad to her if you have to go potty ill take you just tell mommy potty and we will go shes trying so thats a start.

Danielle - posted on 05/13/2010

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Just remember, you're her mother. You know her better than any of us! Just take the measures to prevent the rashes and make her comfortable. You got this!

Danielle - posted on 05/12/2010

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For that kind of situation, the tables do turn to it being your choice. But, there is nothing wrong with cloth diapers or thinker training pants (gerber has them for about 4 dollars per 3pk I think). It's a great starting point at least.

[deleted account]

what to do when everyone incuding your doctor tells you to potty train her because she has sensative skin and breaks out in diaper rashes evenwhen i change her regularly?

[deleted account]

My daughter wants to potty train but then when we get to her potty chair she changes her mind now i not going to force her to potty train but she tends to get alot of diaper rashes and i change her all the time the doctor said to potty train her and it will go away with the rashes but im not going to rush her she'll do it when shes ready.

[deleted account]

I disagree. Potty training and when it's started/completed varies widely cross culturally. It's gotten later and later in the west due to disposable diapers. If you do want your 3 year old out of diapers, you can. I used Lora Jensen's program with my 30 month old and she never sat on the potty and had zero interest and we're done with diapers.

Audrey - posted on 05/11/2010

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Thanks, it's great to know there are others who are having difficulties with potty training. My daughter is 3-1/2 and very stubborn. We put her on the potty or toilet at regular intervals but she doesn't always do something. When reminded about going to the potty, she often says "I already did it in my pullups" or "I want a change". We have proper underpants for her, but more often than not there are accidents because when she spreads her legs nobody can grab her fast enough and put her on the potty!

Katie - posted on 05/08/2010

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My son is almost 3 in July and he is almost fully trained thanks to day care mainly. Around a his 2 year b-day I bought a potty watch that looks like a toilet and goes off like a timer. That is what started him. I never forced the issue. Now he tells me when he needs to go and there are no fights. It is wonderful.

Jodell - posted on 05/07/2010

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Thanks to ALL!!!!!!! It has been so helpful to hear that I am not the only one who has a 3 year old little girl who wants nothing to do with her potty chair and would rather play ball instead. I feel she is just not ready to. Thanks again everyone

Sally - posted on 05/07/2010

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my 2 year old boys are out of nappys. they have the odd accident whilst playing outside. i can take them out shopping knowing that they will tell me when they need a wee wee. it is very difficult & you shouldnt force them 2 do somethink they arent ready 2 do.

Christy - posted on 05/06/2010

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I feel so much better after reading these posts. My daughter turns 3 in July and I felt something was wrong with me for not having her trained by now. She shows interest time to time but for the most part doesn't want to take the time to go on the potty. She tells me she wants to wear diapers because she is not potty trained yet. It's cute. She's starting to show more interest now so I'll just go with the flow. It is much easier on all of us! Thanks everyone for the reassurance!

Becky - posted on 05/04/2010

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I think getting a potty chair is the equivalent of getting a new toy to a toddler, it's bright and shiny and new and just for them. The "honeymoon" phase is over eventually and they don't want to mess w/ it anymore. They will decide when it's time and when they want to be big girls and boys on their own. Frustrating as heck I know but someone told me that the more you push the more they are likely to resent the whole toilet going thing altogether. My son's babysitter has raised 2 of her own kids and grandkids and lots of foster kids and was a great help when I was trying to get my son to move to this next step. All of the older women (mothers of course) around me were wonderful support systems during this time and they all agreed to let him be and he'll do it when he's ready. Although... he still wears pull ups every night to bed b/c he has accidents in his sleep so I'm still buying a form of diapers, but I don't mind dry nights are eventually in our future. Good luck to you all who are trying desperately to toilet train your angels, be patient and give them and yourself a break, it'll happen. :)
My niece is almost 3 and she's still in diapers and I don't think she's all that interested in the toilet even though she knows what she's doing when she goes...

Danielle - posted on 05/04/2010

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The moral of my story is simple. Just take it slow. If you think your kid is ready, suggest, don't demand. I'm not an expert, but I have been around kids enough to know when they are upset.

[deleted account]

My daughter is kinda the same way Holly. She will be 3 in June as well. She started on the potty around 18 months and did really well and then just gave up. She started off really good again about 6months ago and is now giving up again. Shes very excited about potty training and wearing big girl underpants but just wont stick with it. Said she wants to be my baby forever. They will get it in time!

[deleted account]

Its definitely a hard one!! My son will be 3 in June and for awhile I thought he was getting the hang of it them completely regressed and now its kicking and screaming with him the whole way. He has underwear and Idk if putting him in pull-ups will do any difference seeing how they are still diapers basically. A part of me wants to push the potty training but another part of me is saying he will get it when he gets it. His daycare does the potty march and he occassionally goes to the bathroom, but idk what to do...

[deleted account]

Thank you ladies. I guess Im just going to let her be and hope she just starts going on her own. Potty training has been so frusturating! So instead of pushing her and fighting with her I will just let her go when shes ready. Shes smart enough to know when she needs to go but has also told me she wants to be my baby forever and wear diapers forever! Good Luck everyone!!!

Brittney - posted on 05/04/2010

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my son is 3 years and 3 months old....yesterday he used the potty all day with only 1 accident...today he has no interest and doesn't want to sit on the potty and has had accidents all day....it's so aggrivating knowing that he knows how to do it but he won't or doesn't want to...

[deleted account]

I couldn't beg to differ. I agree because every child is different. My daughter is three yrs. old now and she is barely going to the bathroom on her own, while her sister on the other hand felt comfortable doing that at the age of 18 months!

Kalynn - posted on 05/03/2010

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My little one is 19 months shortly after her 1st birthday she picked out her potty chair and her treats for when she went potty thought she was really genuinely ready, then we for a week straight went potty together and she went potty when i did no problem. Then she decided she didnt want to do it anymore and only wanted to get naked and have her snack... So we tried to get her excited again a couple months ago. bought a new potty chair some cute undies and pull ups. She loves wearing them and she loves sitting on the potty but she laughs and points when she pees on the floor... Any advice? Should I wait a little longer?

Jackie - posted on 05/03/2010

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My 3 year old son screams bloody murder if I take him to the bathroom. He acts terrified of the darn thing.

Becky - posted on 05/03/2010

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I agree 100%! I have a 3 yr old son and he would go occassionally on the potty and I would get so excited thinking "This is it! He's got it!" and then he would ask for a diaper. One time he even told me he wanted to stay in diapers forever and ever. (Direct quote from him) I would get so aggrivated but I finally let it go and let him be. 2 weeks before his 3 rd birthday he was playing and stopped and went to the toilet and peed by himself and he's been good ever since! He knew when he was ready all by himself, it had NOTHING to do w/ me and my desires. MOTHERS! Your kid will go to the toilet when THEY are ready not when YOU are ready for them to do it. It's a major milestone for them and we, as mothers, need to help them to it, but the best way to help them is to just let nature take its course.

Danielle - posted on 05/02/2010

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I should correct myself. Some kids do potty train very late. BUT you have to realize that for the entire time they have been alive, they have had one way of pottying. Parents push them before they are old enough to even comprehend why a part of them has to go in the potty Making a change that drastic takes time and reassurance, not stress and fear. Taking is slow and waiting for them to be both emotionally and physically ready is key to successful potty training. I truly believe that most potty training problems revolve around the child not being ready for it or not understanding why diapers are all the sudden gone.

Jodell - posted on 05/02/2010

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So I guess I don't feel sooo bad now. I have a almost three year old daughter who wants nothing to do with the potty chair. Has a temper and screams and cries. So does this 3 day thing work? I work the night shift. So it has been a struggle.

Heather - posted on 05/01/2010

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I agree, I can't imagine how stressful it would be to try and "make " my daughter potty. She is 2 yrs and 3 months and not potty trained. She is starting to show interest, and likes to sit on the potty, she just doesn't use it yet. I really like that she can learn in a relaxed way that she is enjoying. I will ask her if she wants to go potty, and she smiles and runs to the bathroom. Diapers can be stressful enough with out having to listen to you baby screaming cause they don't know whats going on. I would love to have my daughter Potty trained before the new baby comes (in July) but I won't force it, cause that will probably just make it take longer, and did I mention it would be more stressful to fight her?

Tamara - posted on 05/01/2010

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i agree. my 2 1/2 year old goes when he wants to, but its never forced. he knows when hes gotta go, so i let him decide

Heather - posted on 04/30/2010

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"No kids go to kindergarten in diapers!" NOT TRUE!!! My little brother did, he is now in second grade and still in diapers. Their isn't a medical reason that they have found, and from what we know he wasn't abused...

But other than that, I agree! Pushing kids only makes it more stressful!

Dawn - posted on 04/30/2010

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I am so with you on this one. About a month ago my 2 1/2 year old decided he was ready. I'm glad I didn't push him because it sure has made potty training easy. Of course we have an occasional accident, but no fights or struggles! The cost of buying diapers for a little longer is completely worth it!

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