where to start?

Kellie - posted on 01/09/2009

My son is almost 3 and the method I'm using seems to be working very well.  My sister also used this method on her daughter when she first turned two and she did good with it.  The first few days suck but the rewards are there.  Make sure you can be home with him for 3 days straight.  One morning just tell him that he's a big boy now and you're going to throw the diapers away.  Put him in his undies with no pants on so you'll know when he goes.  Then start pushing fluids and be at his side every second.  Constantly be offering drinks.  It's good to have a variety.  Everytime he pees (without making a big deal) say that's yucky, pee goes in the potty and take him and set him on the potty.  Keep doing that over and over.  Also, keep saying every couple minutes, "tell mommy if you have to go potty or do you have to go potty."  The first time he finishes on the potty sing, dance, make a huge deal, put a sticker on a potty sticky chart (I just hung a piece of paper above the toilet to put stickers on) and give  him some m&m's or some kind of treat he doesn't normally get.   Just keep doing this over and over until it clicks.  It may take over a day before he is going in the potty so be prepared for a messy couple days but once it clicks he'll have less and less accidents.  Obviously you'll have to remind him a lot and always be asking him if he has to go for a couple weeks.  This is supposed to work for poop too but my son is having a hard time with that.  Just do the same thing, say that's yucky and get him to the bathroom. 

It really sucks having to follow them around for 3-4 days straight.  You don't get anything done and it makes for a long day.  It will be worth it though.  You have to catch them doing it to teach them so you have to be there every second.  The minute I turned my back on my son was when he went.  Just take him with you wherever you go.  If you have to run to the kitchen for some coffee, take him with.  Even if it's only going to take a minute.   Obviously you're not going to get anything done during these 3-4 days so make sure you're off work, you have no other kids around and you don't have any jobs you think your going to get done around the house.  Also plan on having a lot of underwear and possible having to wash them during nap time.

We are also using undies at nap time and have tried using them at night time too.  I got waterproof pads to put on the bed from Wal-Mart (Brand Name was Baby Connection).  I found them in the baby section.  I lay them over the sheets so if he has an accident I don't have to strip the bed.  Just try to make sure you cut the fluids 1.5 hr before nap time (this may mean an early lunch) and then try and make him go potty before bed, say,  "it's time to go potty".  If he doesn't go then just put him to bed and hope he goes next time.  At bedtime cut the fluids 2-2.5 hrs before bedtime and try and make him go potty before bed.  I would try underwear for a week at bedtime and see how he's doing.  If he's consistently wet in the morning or you keep having to get up in the middle of the night switch to a diaper or pull ups at night.  As long as you get those pads from Walmart it won't be too messy for you.  I would at least try it though.  I think some kids can do it and others can't.  Good Luck.  Oh and obviously make sure you are in his room the minute he wakes up.  You know what time he normally wakes up so be listening.  If you got rid of your baby monitors you might want to get them back out so you can listen for that rustling around as he wakes.  I'm lucky b/c I can tell when my son is going to wake up by his breathing and he usuallly calls for me the instant he wakes.

I would just really stress that he's a big boy and big boys are so cool and it makes mommy so happy to have a big boy.  We have the Elmo movie and potty book too.  My son likes them. I also tell him he's part of the cool club now and make him give me 5 all the time.  Make sure you have him watch you go to.  I like to tell my son he's draining the snake.  He can go sitting up and standing.  He learned to stand one day when I was trying to force him to sit (bad mommy) and he put his feet on the potty and was standing on the toilet seat and all the sudden peed.  He's like doing that way ever since.

I thinks this method  will be better for you since your son doesn't like the potty right now.  I definitely wouldn't try the method where you just make them sit every so often.  Also try the phrase, "tell mommy when you have to go potty" more than "do you have to go potty."  It has to be his idea. 

I use the cushiony elmo seat from Walmart that you just set on your potty.  I hate those little potties b/c their messy but your son might like the Royal Potty by Fisher Price.  Maybe he could go with you and pick out a seat or chair if you don't have one.  Good luck and let me know if you have any questions. 

It will be a very frustrating few days just remember the light at the end of the tunnel and hang in there.  My son is very hard headed too.  You cannot force him to go to the potty.  During day two my sister's car broke down and I tried to make him go potty before we left since I had to leave the house.  He wouldn’t go so I was like "oh well."  He actually stayed dry the whole time.  Lucky me.  I think it will surprise you how long he can hold his pee once you get going.  Even pushing the fluids my son only peed 2 or 3 times before nap time once he got the hang of it.