How do you share your new pregnancy with a good friend with fertility problems??

Laura - posted on 05/13/2010

My sister in law is in the same boat, I just told her about our second and she just got test results back that confirmed that she has very slim chances of ever getting pregnant. My husband called and told her (she lives far away) and I don't think she handled it well. That was over a month ago and we have not heard back from her since...

Alison - posted on 05/01/2010

My sister in law is trying and has been for 3 years. This is my second pregnancy since she has been trying and I felt really bad about telling her.
The difference here is my husband said I shouldn't feel that way at all because if she was serious about falling pregnant she would have given up smoking and stopped binge drinking on weekends.

I thought that was a little judgmental and harsh, but he had a point. She has since given up all the bad things and I guess is 'serious' about trying now. Hopefully she will have better luck.

You can't ever feel guilty for your life and your family. Sure you can be empathetic towards other, but don't feel bad about what you have. All things happen for a reason

Laura - posted on 04/02/2010

I was unfortunately that friend for many women I knew, it seemed to me that at any given time at least three to four of my friends were pregnant. At the time I was working at walmart surrounded by other pregnant women.

Depending on how close I was to whichever friend it was it may have hurt a little bit more. I would get mopey for a little bit and then I would get over it and be happy for my friend. I had been trying for 3 and a half years with my fiance to get pregnant suffered one diagnosed miscarriage and i am fairly sure at least one other.

But no matter how much it hurt my heart I would tell them I was happy for them and truly be happy. It takes time for the hurt to stop a little but in the end of a great friendship it shoudln't matter.

Kate - posted on 03/29/2010

I recently told a friend who had been trying to conceive for several years. I decided that it was best if she heard it from me, rathe than 'through the grapevine.' I told her, and while I could hear that she was a little sad, she was glad I was the one to tell her.

I think it helps to be direct and honest, at least in my situation. I also think it helps that we've been close friends for years, and I have offered to be her gestational surrogate sometime in the future if she ends up not being able to conceive. :)

Veronica - posted on 03/29/2010

I had the exact same problem! One of my closest friends has had a very bad time staying pregnant, and having to tell her was very hard. Once it was confirmed, I just called her and told her. (We live in different states) I know she was probably sad by the news, but she is very happy for me. I think not always talking about it with her helps. I keep her informed, but make sure our converstaions revolve around other things first and foremost. You can't hide it from her, so just be honest and respect that she may not be able to be there all the time for your pregnancy!!

Sarah - posted on 03/25/2010

Well wish me luck I am going to call her this weekend.

Briana - posted on 03/23/2010

She won't get upset. I have the same friend. Well my step-mom has been trying with my dad for a few years and I have had to give them 2 baby announcements also. She has always been happy for us. I'm sure it probably hurts but it's reality and she understands that. Just tell her. If she gets upset with you then give her time. She'll come around.

Sarah - posted on 03/22/2010

Thanks. It is her spring break from work this week so I am going to plan for us to get together. Yeah I figured talking about it like I would to another GF or family memeber would definitly be out of the question. I was kinda just going to play it my ear. See what her reaction is and wait to see if she asks anything or move on to other stuff.

Tamara - posted on 03/22/2010

Just tell you that you are and you understand if she needs time away from you. Also I'd ask her to let you know when it's okay to talk about it. I have been trying for almost three years with miscarriages in there, but I've got one sister in law who would just tell me every little detail of her pregnancy and I wanted to smack her. Another sister in law who didn't say anything about it until I told her I was okay to hear stuff. And it made me feel a lot better to know she cared how I felt.

It's hard and I don't think there will be a right time or way,

Good Luck