My boyfriend is making me choose between me and my unborn baby. HELP!

Alyssa - posted on 06/05/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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He says he's to selfish for a child. And yet the day we started getting intimate up till now we had unprotected sex, and he never pulled out. TMI sorry! I'm 17 and he's 22. I know we're still both trying to get on our feet, but I feel like a bad PERSON for having unprotected sex everyday and then not taking care of the reprocussions. I dont like kids either. But whats done is done...and I wish he wouldnt make me choose. HELP!

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Lori - posted on 06/07/2012

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Do you have any adult (other than your boyfriend) you can trust to talk this out with? You do have options. You can have the baby and give it up for adoption. You can try to raise it yourself - but at 17 - heck at any age - you're going to need the support of someone... your Mom, an Aunt, someone. If he's making you choose, you may want to really really think about how much longer you want this person in your life. This is going to be one of many more decisions your going to have to make as an adult. Do you want to be able to make your own decisions, or do you want someone else to be making them for you? I'm not saying you have to go and dump him because he's asking you to choose, but you could turn it back around on him. If you decide you want to keep your baby tell him something like "You know I'm pregnant, but I've decided I want to keep my baby. It's up to you now to decide. Do you want to be with me, and do you want to be a part of your child's life, or are you going to walk away?"

You are not a BAD person for having unprotected sex. That may not have been a smart decision, but a bad decision doesn't make you a bad person. Don't forget that!

Try to figure out what you want. Not what your boyfriend wants, or what your family wants or expects from you.. but what YOU want. You're the MOM now, and only you can make the choices that will affect you and your baby.

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Gabby - posted on 06/18/2012

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Yeah, I agree. You need to figure out what YOU want...not him. There are so many families that would love to welcome a baby into their family. If you are not ready, adoption is an awesome choice.

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