Brandy - posted on 09/14/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )
So, my mother moved in with my husband and I back in January. Her boyfriend unceremoniously kicked she and my brother out onto the street on New Year's Day. She stayed with us until the beginning of August, when I finally got up the nerve to ask her to leave. She had begun seeing her boyfriend again, and doing things that were really getting on both mine and my husband's last nerve. She wouldn't help around the house any more. She had quit a regular job, through which she was able to help us a with a little $50 a week to begin driving him around so he could work. She was supposedly earning more money from him, but we didn't see any of it but for one week. She would leave my 15 year old brother who suffers from Asperger's Syndrome with my aunt or with myself so that she could go off for nights at a time with her boyfriend.
Everything was adding up, and I finally asked her to leave. She didn't take it very well. She told me not to contact her again "unless something devastating happened to myself or one of the babies." When she finally came to get her things a week later she brought the cops into it. She tried to stage pictures suggesting that we damaged her belongings while we packed them and moved them to the back porch. My husband didn't take that too well. She refused to let me or any of my other family members have any contact with my brother. She thinks I am trying to take him from her. She was going to leave him with me at first when she moved back in with her boyfriend, though.
Anyways, my question is, should I even make an effort to keep her posted on how Jacob or Jonathan are doing? Should I bother inviting her to the baby shower or to the delivery? I'm afraid of the stress that will cause on me, but she is their grandmother. I don't know how to handle this. I have already forgiven her, because I know that she is a very troubled person, but I don't know whether I should involve her in my sons' lives and risk exposing them to her behavior. I'm afraid they'll think it's okay to act that way.