The best way to get your toddler to stay in their bed all night
There comes a point when you may have determined that it's time for your toddler to learn to sleep on her own, but transition can be tough for these little ones. What are some of the best ways you've helped your toddler learn to sleep on his own, and stay in his own bed all night long?
I will be trying the BBC super nanny approach very soon:
First time: say 'time to bed darling' (take him/her by hand to his/her bed)
second time: say only 'bed' repeat taking him/her there
third time: take him/her back without any word
(apparently they want attention, and need to learn that it won't get by coming out of bed)
Super nanny took a child 40+ times first night, some dragged him,
but then 5 times the following night, then 2, then none.
did someone try this?
My 3 almost 4 year old comes into our bed every night. We enjoy having her there. I slept with my parents until I was about 6. I don't have a problem with it. I would always put her back or go and lie with her for a bit but my husband asked one night if we could let her stay. He misses her during the day when he's at work and loves the closeness and the mornings shared together playing and talking to her.
With that said. I do have another baby on the way and it could get precarious.
I think because we are older parents, we are more tolerant of this. My husband sleeps like a log and I don't have to rush to work early, I work from my home.
I am definitely having an issue with this one Moms. My Niko gets up at around 1am and ends up in out bed. My husband takes him back every single time, tucks him in, gives him a kiss and he returnst to bed. At around 3am, guess who's back in bed with us cuddling with mommy. I know that I should put him back into bed but sometimes I feel guilty and keep him there because he looks so peaceful.
My son gets up about 3-4 am to come into bed by us. While, he would have no problem just going back and going back to his own bed I sometimes just enjoy the time cuddling, even if it's just sleeping. We are so close and he has no behavioral issues because of it, like not wanting to sleep in his own bed or not going to be at all. He's little, he's my only... what's wrong with showing him lots of love?
I am such a softy when it comes to sleep time. It was so hard for me to say no when my 2.5 year old came into my room at 2 o'clock in the morning with tears in her eyes. What ended up working so well for us was starting a 'star chart.' Basically 6 or 8 empty boxes on white paper. Each night she slept in her room ALL night she would get to put a star sticker in one of the boxes. When she filled it up she would get a new toy. We would talk about it before she went to bed and then again when she woke up...I WAS AMAZED! It worked so well. Had a few slip ups with her crawling into our bed in the middle of the night, but we would just accept it and talk about it in the morning as to why she didnt get a star.
My daughter stayed in her crib until she was 2 1/2. She couldn't climb out, so I saw no reason to change her crib to a bed. The first night she climbed over and fell out I changed it to a toddler bed. And then with in a couple days i bought a baby gate for the door. Our house has a lot of stairs and I was/am scared she would tumble down them in the middle of the night. During the day she easily and freely goes up and down, but gets clumsy when she is tired.
So at bed time she gets 2 books and then we say prayers and cuddle/talk for several songs. When it is time for me to go I tell her that at the end of the song I will leave. I make sure I actually do it, so she knows that when I say it, it actually happens. I put the gate up and leave. She can and usually does get out of her bed and gets another book or plays with her train set. Sometimes she is not ready to sleep and needs a little more time before bed. She always ends up going to her bed and sleeping. There have been a few occasions when she stayed up way late. I have gone back in and done the bedtime routine again - books and song. WIth in 10 minutes she is asleep.
If she wakes up in the middle of the night she calls for us and we go to her. Depending on the situation - scared, sick, ect. we go in for a couple minutes and then leave. She may cry, but always is asleep within 10 minutes. Kids know exactly what they need to do to get what they want. For example, my daughter knows that with me she can usually negotiate a drink. With my husband, she cries. He always goes back when she cries and I rarely do. So Ava doesn't cry with me - it doesn't work.
Of course, you need to meet your kids' needs. So if there is something out of ordinary, then you need to break the usual routine. But if you want your child to stay in bed and the reason you can't keep them there is because of the crying, then you are getting played by a toddler. If you do the Supper Nanny approach, i bet they will be just fine in less than a week. You just have to be strong because they can read you so easily.
In my opinion, children come to their parents bed for comfort when they're feeling lonely, scared, or just need some cuddling. I co-slept with both of my children, always putting them in their own beds first and then letting them stay with me when they would wake up in the night. They also both slept in my room until they were ready for their own rooms. One at 19 mths, the other was much sooner at about 8 mths. both when they were ready. My older one who stayed until 19 mths, still will come into my room at least once a month to sleep and cuddle......otherwise he stays. The younger who stayed until 8 mths...has never not once, even after being put transistioned into a big boy bed, gotten out and come back to cuddle (makes me sad sometimes, cause I want to cuddle him), but I think they do it when they need it so what is the harm in letting them? sometime, they'll be away at college and you'll wish you'd let them.
who knows, my younger might find ME in HIS bed needing some cuddles one night :)
I'm so happy to see Amy's comment below that endorses co-sleeping. We sleep with our nearly 4 year old son and our 18 month old girl (in the biggest bed we could find!) and love it. Sometimes we have to get creative.. last night my daughter and I were sleeping the other way up to the boys, but it works! We have had none of the stresses of crying it out or sleep training.. when they are ready for their own beds and eventually their own rooms, we will surely be glad of the room to sleep like starfish, but I'm sure we'll miss those cuddly little munchkins in our bed!
It only took me a week. I would put him to bed read a book and say goodnight at around 7.30pm. He would wake up at about 3.30am and wake me up, so I put him back in his bed and say go to sleep. He would wake up again at 5am and attempt my sisters bed. After a while he learnt to stay in bed until it was light enough e.g 7 or 7.30. You don't want them thinking they need to sleep with you to feel safe. And they should stay in their own beds.
as bad as this might sound bad but I told my four year old if she slept in her bed all night she would get a prize (think dollar store) and she did. I did the prize thing for two weeks and she sleeps in her bed by herself every night no problem.
IF you have got to me after reading all 41 answers kudos Try telling them they cant go to their bed and stay up all night long. Sounds crazy but try it:)
I have 5 (11-2) no such thing as good advice. You are the mom and when you chose a rule be ready to be present behind it! Dawn
I am a certified pediatric sleep coach and I must say there is not an easy answer to this question. All children are so different! Sleep is a learned skill which must be taught. Some babies with easier-going temperaments may seem to just know how to put themselves to sleep from early on but many children need their parents to help them attain this crucial life-skill. How you teach this to your child depends greatly upon their age, temperament, what things you have already tried, how consistent/inconsistent you have been, and what your family as a whole feels comfortable doing. There is no "one size fits all" plan that will work for every family. I have lots of other ideas to help with your child's sleep. You can "like" my business on Facebook for other sleep tips and advice. www.facebook.com/tulsapediatricsleepconsulting
MOMS!!! It is dangerous to leave your children unattended in their rooms!!!
OK with that being said, Our now 4yr old was 2 when we did this. He fell off his dresser and broke his leg. We heard him immediately and rushed to the dr. I felt about 2 in tall. For the next 2 months he slept with us. After he got his cast off we put him in his room (WITH THE DOOR OPEN) and he fought the first few nights wanting something to drink, brush his teeth again, etc. I looked at him the 3rd or 4th night and told him it was time for bed and there would be NO games in a stern voice. No problems since then!!!
Now for my 2yr old!!! He is the complete opposite. He is a very loving child that will give anyone hugs and sugars!! He never meets a stranger and grins at everyone. However at night!!! that is a completely different story. He hates going nite nite. I have tried to bribe him, I have tried spanking, I have tried to put a pallet on the floor, etc. The one thing I haven't done is sit in his room with all the lights off and keep putting him back in bed w/o saying anything. My problem is I have never been the one to keep my mouth shut. ANY SUGGESTIONS!?!?!?!?!
P.S. I have another baby due in January
We just made the transition into the toddler bed. It was a piece of cake! We put our dogs bed in her room and let her have a slumber party with her dog, and her baby doll Sophie! We turned on her night light gave her a sticker and told us to make us so proud. We always turn a fan on for noise! She was just ready!!!!! We made a huge deal out of it in the morning! Hope this helps!
My 2.5 year old girl has always been very good going to bed but took to waking up between
1 and 3am and ending up in our bed.. After 2 weeks of poor sleep for us all we put a child gate in her doorway and now also incorporate giving one of her reward stars for staying in her bed all night.. Has worked a treat and I am so pleased!
I've had this problem with my two year old. He slept fine through the night in a crib or playpen with four walls around him. If he woke up in the night, he just went back to sleep again. I moved him to a toddler bed when he started climbing out on his own and it became a safety issue. In the toddler bed, he wakes in the night and it is harder to get him to fall asleep. But really I had no other choice.
I know this doesn't answer your question, but at least you know you're not the only one. I'm hoping it is a phase and he will outgrow it.
I am so horrified by all the moms on this site that encourage the child to sleep with them! They are creating a monster! My husband used to let his daughter sleep with him every night and she wakes up every single night to come into our room and we have to walk her back multiple times. She is 5 so this has been going on for years. Now we are pregnant and I am going to have to deal with a newborn being up and his daughter waking up too. Letting your child get used to the "warm body" and sleeping with you creates dependency issues! The other night she said "remember when I was 3 and you used to let me sleep with you"! She REMEMBERS it and won't let us forget that she would rather be in our bed. It is a BAD thing to start. I worry that she will carry this need to have a warm body next to her through teenage years... and well folks, we know what happens then... Just my humble opinion.
i watch my daughter through a montior whenever she sleeps. when we first started with the toddler bed, if i saw her start to get out i'd tell her through the door to go lay down and she would. now she stays there even if she's throwing a fit to not go to sleep. it's funny casue when she wakes up she won't even get out of bed, she'll grab toys that are around her toddler bed and play with them until i get her.
Ladies I have the same problem. My daughter is 2 years old. Her nina bought her a Dora bed. I thought she would have no problem sleeping on her own bed since it was Dora, but I was wrong. So what me and my fiance do is let her fall asleep on our bed and my fiance will put her on her bed. BUT she will get up around 3am and want to sleep with us, and me being her MOMMY of course i lay her with me. So what can I do to help her feel safe and comfortable on her bed.
We live in a studio like apartment so she is not far at all from our bed.
My oldest is 4 and for her it is getting up for milk at night. two nights ago I told her only one sippy cup a night and she was up till 11 pm. but last night she only got up once. so every night that you stick to what you are doing it dose get easier. so my other two have to problems at all.
When I transitioned my little one to sleeping on her own I would sit or lay with her for a few minutes and then tell her that I was going to clean the kitchen/call nana/get ready for bed, but that I would come and check on her in 5 minutes, and that she would have to stay in her bed. So I would come back every 5 minutes (sometimes stretching it out so that she would have a chance to fall asleep). This worked for us. I still do that same routine however now I only check on her once or twice. At the beginning it was around 10 times before she fell asleep on her own. The checks became fewer and fewer.
We are very lucky. We put our daughter into her own cot from her moses basket when she was 6 months old. So she has slept there from that age, and understands its her bed. When we removed the sides it was no problem, you put them back a couple of times and they soon understand, also the no talking rule from Supernanny is very good. But we have very few problems with our 3 almost 4 year old, she stays in bed until roughly 08:00 and will then come into our bedroom which is fine because its not the middle of the night, and we would have been getting up anyway. She understands we are always in the bedroom next door and seems very comfortable with that, and I think reinforcing from a young age, that getting out of bed is not a good thing unless its for the toilet or to get up in the morning, then they soon understand.
They all eventually want to sleep in their own space. Why rush it? Mine start in their own beds ( I have 5 kids ) but all end up with us by morning. That's all except the 13 year old. She stopped at about 6/7 yrs
I have a son who is just over 2yrs old. He was a great sleeper untill the age of about 10mths. Since then he's slept in our bed. It's been nice having him there but we feel it's time to get him into his own bed again! We have mastered putting him to bed & he sleeps fine, but anywhere between 10ish pm - 2ish am he'll wake & come in our bed the rest of the night. I sometimes put him back but he just come's back in about half hr. I've gone through the "is he too hot or cold" "is the bedroom set out right" "does he need a night light or soft radio"??? Nothing works! I just think it's down to comfort beside me! Does anyone have any ideas??? Please help :)
I have a 4 yr old and a 2 year old. They share a bedroom and I guess I am lucky that they sleep throughout the night after a 30 minute play session in their room.
I have never let the sleep in the bed with me and my husband. Not because I thought something was particularly wrong with it but more because me and my husband both are tossers and turners and for the safety of the baby, from newborn up until now, they have been used to sleeping in their own, bassinet, crib and now toddler bed.
I love my children as much as the next person and I coddle and show love throughout the day since I am a SAHM. When its time for bed, I tuck them both in, give kisses and I do not hear from them until the morning. They do not even require a nightlight. I guess it helps that they have each other. A year and a half ago when the 2 yr old was still in his crib, they had separate bedrooms and they did fine that way also. He just required his musical mobile in order to go to sleep. We decided to put them in the same room since they are both talking and they are bonding now.
I used to lay with him and I think that has backfired. He "needs" me and it has been to the point that he crawls in our bed in the middle of the night to cuddle.
The past week, I have changed the approach and I said "Mommy doesn't lay with you anymore. You are a big boy and you can fall alseep by yourself now". he has protested and I used the supernanny approach for the past 6 days.
Last night, he finally got that I won't be laying with him. He grabbed a book and looked at it. I told him he can put it down in a couple minutes and go to sleep. HE did!
AND..best of all, we didn't find him in our bed this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think the hardest part was ME. I felt bad. I didn't want him lonely. I didn't want him to be afraid. Once I transformed MY feelings about it, he was confident and sure.
hi my little one is 15months old would the "super nanny" work on a child her age?
My son is 2 and he was going to sleep in his own bed and staying there all night. since I moved a few months later he stopped sleeping in his own bed. I have a new baby now and so he has to sleep in a big boy bed. He will fall asleep with me and I put him in his bed, but in the middle of the night he ends up climbing in bed with me. I would love to get some suggestions on how to break this habit.
My 13 month old is still breatsfed and wakes up 3 to 4 times a night and wont go back to sleep until i feed her. it is so exhausting that now, on her first waking I just take her into my bed and feed her whenever she wakes. I am exhausted as I also work full time and have a 4 year old who, bless her, seems to hve to come second whenever her sister is in the room. Not sure how I am going to stop this - both the night time waking and the breastfeeding ( i don't want to continue) but also dont want to leave baby in the cot upstairs crying cos she will wake everyone up. what can i do?
I understand the consistency, and about always putting them back in their bed, but its not working for us! My daughter just turned 4 and we're going on 6 months of this issue! Her brother (now almost 6) never once got in our bed! She goes to bed just fine, although she always says she doesnt want to sleep in her bed, she doesnt get right back up and does go to sleep without crying or anything. However, 1-2am rolls around and she comes in. I've caught her and put her back over and over, and she learned to crawl in her dads side instead. I dont feel her in the bed, and he doesnt wake up, until 530-6am and then she wakes us both up (normal wake up shouldnt be till 7-730 for our family. Problem is she doesnt nap, so she spends nearly every day cranky because she's not getting a full nights sleep. How do we get her out of our bed and get everyone back to sleeping??? Its effecting the whole family, Help!!
just explain why she has to sleep in her bed, is not really easy at the beginning but just be consistent and you will see a good result.
I have trouble with this, my son who is 3 will come into my bed every night... we put him back but he does it over and over. The baby 7 months sleeps in our room because he has hunter syndrome and it helps me feel at ease, but i dont know how to keep him from doing it. Also we live with my parents so I do whatever to make him keep quiet fastestl
I have a 3 year old and a 5 month old. Our son has always been a co-sleeper because my Hubby likes having him in bed with us and doesn't bother to put him back in his bed if he comes to ours in the middle of the night. I did however, take the opposite approach with our daughter and she slept in a cradle NEXT TO our bed, but not IN our bed. I did that until about a month ago when I realized that the cradle was getting a little small for her. Now, she will go to sleep in her crib (in her own room) and sleep for 5-6 hours, wake up to nurse and then go back to sleep. Our son on the other hand has always been a bit difficult due to our bad habits. Now he goes to sleep in his bed, but is usually back in ours 2-3 hours later. My Husband and I both work full-time and our daughter is my responsibility at night, so I'm usually way too tired to take him back to his bed every time. We tried having his toddler bed in our room, but he still gets in our bed at some point of the night. I know that my husband enjoys him being there because of not getting to spend the time with him during the day, but he's getting too big and wiggly (he kicked me in the face/head last night). The funny part is that he will sleep in his bed for his naps with no problem, but night time is totally different. Not sure what will work for him (ie. rewards, stickers, "Super Nanny" strategy, or if I should just let him decide when he's ready)?
My son is almost 2 1/2 and he is currently in his crib. As early as 1 1/2 months, I put him in his bed every time he fell asleep. This got him used to sleeping in his own bed and now he's such an independent sleeper he wont even take a nap with me. At times I wish he would fall asleep with me but overall it was a good fit for our family. I was always (and still am) afraid of rolling over on him or knocking him off the bed in the middle of the night. I am a pretty hard sleeper and really can't sleep if he is in bed with me for a long period of time. There has only been a couple of times that he has woke up crying and I had to put him in bed with me. If I try to get him to nap with me, he will eventually say "I want to go in my bed." He is very attached to it. Hopefully that will mean that when we transition to the big boy bed, he will do good! What I worry about now is that we are moving and I plan on transitioning to the big boy bed when we move. I worry more about him getting into things in his room and trashing it (He has a tendency to destroy things). Anyways, I hope this helps someone who is starting out with a tiny one to get them used to it!
My daughter will be 3 soon and a year ago she was diagnosed with night terrors. Before that, she never had a problem going to bed on her own, sleeping through the night or even just staying in her bed. The night terrors have subsided greatly, however with or without them my husband and I have to either rock her or lay with her until she goes to bed. She throws immense tantrums, and also plays the "I'm going to ignore you because I can" game and it's hard enough to walk her to her room at bed time, let alone get her to go to bed on her own. I hate to make her scream/cry because she will for ever it seems, and even then she will just walk right out of her room and scream louder. We ignore her but it makes it all worse, she thinks time out is a joke, and I don't believe in spanking, or locking her door. I don't know what to try because she is so stubborn to begin with.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
We pitched a Groovy Girls camping tent on my daughter's twin bed when she was two. She loved sleeping in it, and it kept her from falling off the bed.
My almost three year old daughter has been co-sleeping with my husband and I since she was 4months old!! We tried when she was one years old to sleep in her crib, but I could not take the crying for hours so I would give in and just put her with us.
Now that she is a bit older and loved presents and rewards, i am really wanting her to sleep on her own. Even though we only have a ONE bedroom place, for her just to sleep on her own. How can I do this?? It would have been better if she had her own room and I am thinking to just wait until we have a bigger place (2 years from now!) and then let her sleep in her own bed then.
Because if we let her sleep in her own bed in our room she will not understand probably why when we are in the same room?! Any suggestions or advice.
my little one has oly ever gotten out the first week we put him in... we used the "dont get out if yu need mumm call for mummy... mummy will be back"... he would call out and we would tell him is a good boy for staying there.. he love being told hes doing good.. so he would do that for about 0min or so them he would fall asleep.... even now after 6mths od being in a big boy bed he still calls out for us in the night and even in the morning.. so it works...
We have 2.5 yr old boy girl twins, my boy nursed much longer than my girl and so was in our bed mostly from the beginning. They are in toddler beds in their room now, we do stories and then nite nite time in their rom, I sit quietly til they r sleeping, mayb 10 mins. Most nights he comes in our bed by 1am, just gets in and falls straight to sleep again. My litte girl sleeps all night most nights in her bed but when she comes into our bed we welcome her and all sleep together. All to soon they will b teenagers, I love to snuggle w them, and as I work too I feel as tho this is valuable bonding time we otherwise wouldn't get. Good luck to you, but know there is more than one way to b happ, cosleeping works.
I have been asking myself this exact question for the past few months, but even more in the past few nights. My son, who just turned 2, was out of his crib and into a toddler bed before 12 months and he would go to bed and sleep in his room with no problems. Over the summer he decided to come into my bed, and its been a fight to stop ever since. I was closing the door, then he learned to open them. I put on the child proof knob cover, he worked on that so hard he broke it off, so I switched the door knob around and put the lock on the outside, which makes me feel aweful... but he still gets up and throws a fit. Last night I went in his room and made him get back to bed and I left. 3 hrs later he was at it again... when I went into his room he was naked and screaming. I felt so aweful I put a new diaper on him and just slept with him. I know he has to stay in his own bed, I can see sleeping together every now and then but I don't want my child sleeping with me every night, especially as he gets older and should be becoming more independant. I just dont know what next step to take. I dont sleep, he isn't sleeping and Im afraid he is going to hurt himself trying to get my attention. HELP!