Is daycare an option for your family?

When considering childcare options, some moms love day care for the social aspects it provides their children, while others cringe at the idea of using daycare for various reasons. What is your take on day care? What positive or negative experiences have you had with it?

If you have any questions, please check our FAQ page

40  Answers

24 34

I have chosen not to put my children in daycare. I know that some daycare people truely love their kids but no one can love them like I do. So I have made a choice to sacrifice some of the luxuries of life to make sure my children are at home with a parent when the other parent is working. My two oldest children are in fourth grade and sixth grade and I put them on the bus in the morning and I'm home from work in order to get them off the bus in the afternoon. My husband watches our youngest of three months when I'm at work during the day. We drive older vehicles without a car payment and some of our clothes are purchased at Saver's or the Salvation Army thrift stores. We can't always afford to eat steak either, but it is well worth it to our children to feel we love them and want the best for them. We are raising our children and teaching them what we want them to learn instead of hoping the daycare person is instilling what we want for them. The choice is yours. We've made ours. Their only young once so you only get one chance to be with them.

9
17 11

I personally never wanted to put my son (now 3) in daycare when he was little because I didn't feel comfortable leaving him with strangers. I ended up being a SAHM unintentionally because I was breast feeding him exclusively that first year. After awhile it became stressful for me because I didn't have any family to be around, wasn't able to have play dates, and my husband was working all the time. I eventually went back to school when my son was 2. There was a daycare on campus for a reasonable price. Since he was so close and only there 4 hours max I was comfortable. The daycare was actually a blessing in disguise. They recommended me to get him evaluated and he was diagnosed with autism. He now attends a school for kids with autism and is doing very well. I'm now able to work when he's in school and be at home with him when he's home. I feel like this gives me an nice middle ground of SAHM and working mom. I don't think theres anything wrong with being a working mom but I've learned that that first couple of years is crucial in building a good foundation in your child (manners, beliefs, rules etc). Something I didn't want anyone else teaching him. Unfortunately everyone doesn't have that option but if you do take advantage before they get to school age. They grow up so fast :(

7
5 0

I think that all of the comments here were very insightful and helpful to my current dilemma (well except for KYREE and NYKEE's comments). I have been a working mom since my first child born 3.5 years ago with lots of flexibility (8 months on and 4 months off) I have also had a nanny (who converts to mommy helper during my off months). I would never even have considered daycare with my first child. He stayed at home until preschool. Pros and cons to him staying home so long. Lots of pros but biggest con was his lack of social interaction with other kids. No matter if we are working parents or SAHPs, there are certain things that only him being around his peers can teach him (and NOT all terrible things)!

With my second child who is now 18 months old, we are having trouble finding a reliable nanny to care for her since the only previous angel of a nanny left to be with her family. Unfortunately, because of the winter break and an unexpected vacation request from the new nanny at the last minute, both kids were in back-up childcare the last week of 2011. My daughter who had never been in a group environment before absolutely LOVED it! My hubby and I realized that she needed and loved being other kids her age. The staff was very professional and extremely educated with college degrees (BS and Masters).

So I say all that to say this, everyone's situation is different and parents have to do what works best for the whole family. Chelsey said it best "As with everything in parenting, you go with what works for you." (Thanks Chelsey for the reminder.)

With regards to comments made by Kyree and Nykee, I strongly believe that your comments were not appropriate for this question or supportive in any way. Nykee your comments were very valid as it related to the price of daycare and your inability to afford it but Kyree are you saying that only SAHP (parents not just moms) love their kids more because they **working parents** NEED to work and provide (food, home, clothing, healthcare) for their kids which works hand-in-hand with loving them. Whether it be single or 2 parent households, most people need to work and LOVE their children just as much as SAHP's.

Kyree, again, generally speaking, all parents need to spend as much time with their kids as possible. Are you saying that the parents who work have regrets later in life later??? I will not have any regrets in the future when I look back and know that I have LOVED my kids unconditionally plus be able to leave them my fortune when I am gone! For me, I do not have to work, I choose to work! I LOVE being a professional, working mom with a great career. I love the fact that our kids see mom and dad leaving the house everyday going to work to provide for them a very nice place to live and provide them with whatever they need and want.

Kyree, your assumption that "unless you are a single parent or not good at parenting because you send your kids to daycare" is sort of RIDICULOUS and its hard for me to believe that any SAHP would co-sign on this. (Shame on you Nykee!) How insensitive to working moms and dads! I pray you are not teaching your kids this at home who will in turn tease other kids who did not have SAHPs because they were out working to provide for them.

And Kyree, no matter if you are a SAHP, working or single parent, you are right, it is NOT hard to take your kids to playdate, group activities, classes, etc. I work full-time and still able to take them personally to swim lessons, art class, soccer camp, tennis camp, playdates, and now DAYCARE EVERYDAY!!

In 2012, let's all try to remember, that their are many different styles of parenting that all result in rearing GREAT kids who are loved, happy, and healthy! Let's try to respect each others experiences and opinions (even if we don't agree). Noggin says it best "we are not perfect, we are parents!" This is a support group...let's start supporting each other!

6
11 22

This is a really great question as I am finally considering putting my son in daycare. He will be 3 in March and he is my only child. I had him late in life, in my 40's. We have recently moved to NV from TX...hence, I have never lived in any other state besides Tx and we do not know anyone here. We moved here for my husbands job. We currently live in an apartment until our house sells in Tx so I spend all day with my son in this 2 bedroom apartment. Talk about stir crazy. Yes I have a car and we can go places but we have all passed around colds between us...my turn now so havn't been able to get out much. I have never put my son in daycare and have been with him all the time. He does not have a fear or get upset when we leave him with strangers (babysitters) so that would not be a problem if I put him in daycare. I honestly just need some "ME" time. It may sound selfish but I feel it is really necessary out there for moms out there...especially ones who are overly stressed which I am. My father passed away last year in August and then my mom broke her shoulder and now this move. I find myself with not very much patience and very short fuse. I know that I take it out on my son which I don't want to do. I also feel it would be good for him to be around other children and to be taught things. I wish I was one of those creative moms and who enjoyed teaching but honestly, not sure if its my age or just stress...but it is not me. My son is not potty trained also so this school does that. I'm not saying it is their job to teach my son everything but I think it would be a big help for me and then I could incorporate it at home. The schools' name is Goddard. Has anyone heard of it? I spent 2 hours talking to the Director and it seems like a very nice place, clean and organized. Of course, I went before school started so did not see any kids interacting, the teachers or parents.

6
160 25

The Goddard School has a great reputation in our area. Good luck!

View More
5 0

As a kindergarten teacher ( I am staying at home with my two young children now) I found that the kids who grew up in a home environment with their mom, or maybe a dad or grandparent, were much better prepared for school academically, emotionally, and socially. I also found the kids that came from daycare backgrounds were more competitive, more resistant to authority, and fearful of separation. While every kid and situation is different I feel it is important to play as much of a role in your child's life as possible. If at all possible find some balance. I fear for the kids that are in daycare all day and never see their parents and never develop a strong relationship, family norms, etc because they are always at daycare or school. I remember the kids that were at daycare before and after school and even on days when the parents had off.
That being said I do feel children show readiness for larger social groups which means it is important to get them into more structured and social environments including a preschool (preschool and daycare are different).
And as far as the financial aspect, I know for me it would make little sense. Most of my paycheck would go towards daycare and preschool if I decided to go back to teaching right away. So to make up for the lack of salary we just live as simply as possible while being able to provide our kids with plenty of constructive social interaction and learning experiences. I feel there are ways to create balance and wish the best of luck to anyone struggling on the decision.

4
3 15

Thank you for your post Amanda. I have been made to feel so guilty about not letting my 3 yr od grandson go to creche..... i feel exactly as you do. My grandson is gentle, loving and kind to other kids - he shares and is very confident. I dont see why I should be pressured into sending him to creche so young.... thank you for that....

View More
2 55

We only have one son, and he is now 4. He was in day care at age 6 months, and still is. Both day cares he has been in are home day cares. The first one was okay. She cared well for my son, but he had very little "projects" to take home. This past summer , our son was not in care because my husbands and my work schedules allowed me to work during the day, and my husband worked weekends.My husband went back to a job traveling, and the day care he is in now is far better, and I am paying the same price as before. I have a calendar with the weekly themes, daily circle time activity, every Friday is cooking day, and almost daily has a craft or project to bring home. My son knows me as mommy, not his provider. He is there from 7am-5-30pm, M-F.. We do still make money even after paying day care, he LOVES going, has friends and play dates, and has developed very well. To each their own, but day care has been very beneficial for our family..

4
73 4

I worked in a daycare for two years, and now care for children at-home, and loved all those children. They loved me too, since I took care of them from 2 months to 2+ years of age (I began in the infant room and moved to the one-year-old class after a year). I taught them, had interactive lesson plans, crafts, sensory exploration, and covered all their areas of development. Daycares can be good if you find a good one (with stability and low teacher turnover) and trust the teacher who works with your child.

I agree and disagree with all the talk that your child will not have as strong a bond with you if he or she is in childcare full-time. The children whose parents pick them up everyday as soon as they get off work, and you can see the excitement in their eyes as they swoop up their children at the end of every day, laughing and smiling, lack no closeness with their parents even though they're in daycare 8 hours a day, five days a week

The children who are left in daycare while their parents run errands after work, and witness all their other friends going home, leaving them one of the last ones picked up, 10-12 hours a day, five days a week, have all had aggressive, jealous, and other challenging behaviors. They do miss out on sharing that closeness with their parents.

If you find a good school, you can put your child in childcare and have a close, healthy relationship as long as you really cherish the time you have together and treat your child like the most important thing in the world when you're together. They just need to feel loved.. by their parents and their teachers.

3
17 10

My son has been in day care since he was about 5 months old...we both love it!! It has meant I can go back to a career I love and he can enjoy himself playing all day! He has learnt so much from his day care, he is now two and can already count to ten, knows his colors, and some shapes, and learns so many new words every day! We oth love it when he brings home paintings and the get pinned up on the fridge for everyone to see, It also allows me to have one child free day a week, which is important to me to recharge myself and relax or catch up on things around the house, we love day care, and can't praise ours enough!!!!!

3
5 16

Both of my kids (7 and 3) have been in daycare since they were 6 weeks old. I didn't have an option because I did have to return to work. BUT if I had to do it again I would DEFINITELY put them in daycare. They learn so much and the social interaction is GREAT. They learn to be with other kids and are not attached to mommy's let. Daycare also offers more activities and creativity than I could ever imagine. I mean...my 3 year old knows her colors, numbers, letters, etc. and her vocabulary is very diverse. My 7 year old (who is in 1st grade) had no problem with going to kindergarten. To him is was just another "school". We called daycare "school" because that really is what it is to them!!! I highly encourage a daycare setting for kids!!!

2
16 7

I completely agree! My daughter was so prepared for Kindergarten and is ready for 1st grade already. I also was happy with the fact that she caught the colds that she did so her immune system was strong by the time she got to a "larger" school where there are more germs...less sick days when it really counts. :-)

2 11

For our family no it's not. I started out being a sahm because financially daycare wasn't an option. I only worked at a restaurant and had no schooling. I now have my AAPSY and am half way to completing my BSPSY. However, being able to stay home has been amazing! There are times you get stir crazy but then take a night out with girlfriends or your spouse to unwind. I wouldn't trade being the one who is with my daughter for anything and we plan on having 2 more that I will be staying home with as well. My daughter is involved in play groups, attends preschool 2 days a week, and will be attending gymnastics this coming month. She is well socialized and doing just fine. But each situation and person is different. It's an individual choice and would never push my views on parents who feel differently.

2
185 2

Hey! We don't put out kids in daycare, but I thought you guys would be interested in this study...
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2008-04/cwl-naf042508.php
it basically says that children in daycare have a way lower chance of developing childhood leukemia.

2
24 19

I personally am choosing to stay home with my kids. I have 2 (my daughter is almost 4 and my son is almost 1). I worked for 4 months starting when my daughter was 11 months. Our finances were tight and I found a part-time teaching position at a second-chance HS. I had a hard time feeling like a good mom, wife, and teacher all at the same time. When teaching I had all of my students that I interacted with, worried about, and cared for. I still had a home to care for and I've always valued cooking meals for my family (making meals nutritious and cost effective). My husband works very hard and he doesn't have a lot of time to help around the house. When he's home we are able to spend time as a family and spend time outdoors which really helps him recharge his batteries. I was getting very stressed working and the school was having a lull in enrollment the next year so they were waiting last minute to let me know if they needed me each 6-wk session. I finally made the decision that I was no longer going to work and told my husband we would just make it work. Within a week or two my husband got a substantial raise. I love my career, but I love my children more. I know I am a much better mother to them when I'm not stressed with work. My mom often had to work when I was growing up and she was always so tired and stressed. We never had a lot of money but we were all much happier when my mom was able to stay home and be there for us. I plan to have a couple more kids in the next few years and when they are all in school I will consider going back to work part-time (if it works out and if we need the money). For now I am keeping my teaching certification current and enjoying my children.

2
24 19

The fact that we've moved around a lot for my husband's career also influences my decision. This is what works for us. I've had this on my mind all day. What I can't understand is how a mom and wife who works, cares for her home, kids, and husband can find enough time to sleep. That was the hardest for me. I never knew when the baby was going to be up teething/fussing all night and it was almost more work to call in sick (finding a sub and leaving instructions and making up for work I missed). The one thing that I hated was that my relationship w/ my hubby was what suffered the most. I was just too tired to do everything and, sadly, he was the easiest to neglect. I'm still quite busy but my schedule is flexible. I need the flexible schedule for myself. When the baby fusses all night, I need to sleep in and take care of me. I need down time during nap time. The monetary compensation was not worth all those sacrifices.

7 12

Child care is not an option for us. I am a stay at home mom so I can be with my kids. We do not drive fancy cars or live in luxury so I can stay and be with my children.

2
68 19

I think daycare is great for social aspects, especially when you don't know any other parents with children the same age as yours and where you live you don't have resources like mommy and me classes. It is/was not ever an option for us thought, we couldn't afford the $200 to $500 a month for one child to go part time.

2
0 0

my best friend owns a daycare 2 minuets from my house. its fabulous. i have two children, 7 and 3. my eldest goes to public school and my 3 year old typically goes to "school" 3 days a week. i ADORE this facility. its meticulosly clean, its family friendly, super relaxed and attentive staff, etc. needless to say she has only been open for one year and has had NO complaints by any parent that has agreed to send their child to her school. however, my childhood best friend of 20 years works at the competitor school literally adjacent to my home, which i attempted to send both of my kids to at the independant age of 2yrs. my kids both hated/dispised it at that school. still a wonderful facility but grouchy staff. i believe its all about frinding the right fit. even if my 3yr old went to my best friends school and hated it, i would find a situation that suited her independant needs.
i do believe that if as mother you are strongly convicted to homeschool your young children and provide them with ample social situations to interact and engage with other children than go for it! i seem to glide with the majority of american mothers who seek after a school setting to provide the best opportunities for both types of growth for my young children . both of which are wonderfully intelligent and socially gifted young kids :-)

2
18 15

Here's another perspective . . . I am a single mom with a 5 and a 6 year old. Though there have been times when I didn't like the care my children were getting or the guilt I was feeling, I found the right balance this past summer. Now my 6 year old is in school, and my 5 year old goes to a very structured daycare center part time. He is high on the autism spectrum, and the structure and exposure to the other children has been good for him. This center focuses on lots of academics. He does science experiments, and lots of art. He loves it and I am a better mom because it is only part time. He goes even if I have the day off of work. He needs his routine, and I enjoy the break from time to time.

2
160 25

Kudos to you for keeping up with a 5 and 6 year old - especially one with special needs - without a spouse. Autistic kids thrive on structure and stability and I'm glad you've found a center that you're comfortable with to fulfill that necessity. I'm glad there are centers available to offer the care your child(ren) needs when you're at work. All the best :)

2 19

I didn't feel comfortable with daycare for a couple of reasons, I don't trust daycares because of the media and stories I have heard, also I only trust family or friend with the care of my child. when children are in school you know there is a provincial standard to what is being taught and how the children are being taking care of.

1
5 0

There is also a provincial standard as to what is being taught and how the children are being taken care of in day care too. The state does frequent, random inspections and they have strict guidelines that they have to meet. And the best way to know how if any horror story-type situations are going on is to talk to other parents who go there, visit frequently and often at all different times of day, unannounced, and look at all the children and teachers there, not just your own. By doing this, you can really get a sense of how that particular day care treats children. I have done all of these things at my daughter's day care and they have so far passed with flying colors. They're not all created equal!

2 0

The bottom line is that everyone has to do what works for them and not judge others for their choices. I personally have had only positive experiences with daycare. I've worked in them and am currently sending my 3 children to a wonderful center. There is no lack of familial bonding and the stimulation and socialization is great for them. My 3 year old prays every night for all of his friends and his teachers. You do have to be careful and pay attention to what's going on but that's true for any organization or school your child will be involved with.

1
2 8

Good answers from all, but no one has really commented about an in home family day care.. I run one, in my home, so I could stay with my 5 children. single parent couldnt afford care for that many children so I decided to open one myself. I love all my day care kids... Their parents are my friends, I treat the children like they are my own. They go to the store with me, we go to movies, parks, the fair and pumpkin patch.. Again, it is like they are my own. Some of them call me Mom, but it is just a name to them, its not a special one yet. As they get older they revert back to me being Cheryl and their Mom, is Mom.. Sometimes I do crafts, I would rather play then teach. BUT, they learn numbers and letters because we watch most learning type videos. Leap frog, and we dance to Greg and Steve.. Many of my children I have had for years and I am at 2nd and 3rd siblings. It is a choice. Just because parents put them in day care doesnt make them bad parents. Family is definitely the Best! But finding someone good to love your child is a GREAT second..

1
5 0

Cheryl, you are so right! A home daycare is an excellent option for parents who need other options. For the past 2 weeks, I have been stressing about putting my 18 month old in daycare because of unreliable other options. My main concern is her adjustment considering she had been home until now. I started researching daycare facilities and somewhere out of the sky dropped the a referral of a home daycare. The home center we chose has been so far amazing to say the least. It is very small and Ms. Ruth gives "her" 3 babies so much love and attention. I believe much more than anyone at a larger facility would have been able to provide. Thank God for home daycare providers.

2 0

My daugher started daycare at 4 1/2 months and she absolutely loves it, she knows when we arrive she gets so excited. They do arts and crafts, reading, dancing so much stuff and im greatful we found such a fantastic centre. It made me feel a bit more at ease leaving her but i only work 3 days and i think its great for her socialisation

1
50 0

If we could afford to still have our little ones in daycare we totally would. My son was in daycare for 2 yrs at the same daycare and he loved it. He became much more social, he did however get colds a little more often. But he really enjoyed daycare and he learned a lot there too. The daycare he went to actually had a lesson plan and taught them things (like their colors, numbers, etc.) and they did have time where they watched television, but that was extremely limited (15-30 minutes a day, usually right at drop off and at the very very end of the day while waiting on their parents to pick them up). I loved my son's daycare and wish that we hadn't had to take him out of it, but daycare costs money and we couldn't afford it.

1
16 7

We both work full-time and I love to work, I don't do well being at home all day...I'd spend too much money trying to entertain myself and our daughter. She is now 5, but has been in daycare since she was 6 weeks old. My goal was for her to be independent, social and know that life is life and not always perfect. We had to have financial help to get her into a wonderful school and it was well worth it. By the time she was 3, she was testing above average in most skills, especially socially.
The teachers have been a great incluence on her, she has learned how to help others, which in turn has helped her learn and understand more. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter and wouldn't trade for the world, but she is so much like me, except smarter, and she gets bored. I wouldn't have changed a thing. By the age of 3, she could tie her shoes and was teaching the other kids the phone number song that her daddy taught her. She understands that not all children know the same things and that it is okay. She has also realized that not all children are nice all the time and she has learned to cope with that and work around it without it really hurting her feelings.
I know it sounds like bragging, and it is, but I can't take the credit for my child be as well rounded as she is, I give that to the schools we have chosen for her and her wonderful teachers. I have also learned which teacher is good for her and which ones are not. She will mimmick the ones that she learned something from and not have anything to say at all about the ones she didn't.
Even if you only do daycare 2-3 times a week, I think it is a great benefit. It gives them a chance to be themselves away from their parents and increases their verbal and social skills.

1
26 5

I have mixed feelings. On one hand, I would love to be able to send my daughter to daycare because I work at home in a 2-bedroom apartment and my 15-month-old daughter can be VERY distracting, because all I want to do is spend time with her instead of staring at my paint programs. So being able to have her taken off my hands for a few hours a day would be really great for my productivity. That, and I'd like her to start being social with kids her own age.

On the other hand, I have a lot of trust issues with people outside my immediate family and friends, especially regarding my daughter. The kids in my neighborhood that I've met are little heathens, too: foul-mouthed, disrespectful and violent. I don't want her being around kids like that - OR parents/daycare/teachers that allow that kind of behavior. She started hitting a couple months ago, and I'm only just starting to get her to tone it down. I fear that putting her in daycare will undo all my hard work in this regard because of influence from other kids.

I think if I could find a daycare center I trusted, I'd be more likely to send her to one.

1
8 10

I love our daycare. LOVE it. Our son has been in our current daycare since he was an infant and is now 3 1/2. Now, granted, the daycare we send our son to is a private school and is expensive. However, 1) we make enough to very comfortably cover the tuition, and 2) he has just excelled there. Seriously. I know that always sounds like some mom's desperate attempt to convince herself that her kid is really okay, but honest to God, he is just doing amazing. And he loves his school, his friends, and his teachers.

(Disclaimer: You get what you pay for at daycares. Ours is fantastic, but I've seen plenty that should be shut down and, yes, they were considerably cheaper. It broke my heart to see kids there because I know they weren't getting the treatment they deserved).

Would I rather stay home with him? No. And I absolutely HATE the assumption that that's somehow the 'holy grail' of parenting or father/motherhood. Not everyone is made to be a stay at home parent. I can honestly tell you I'd last about three days and then both my son and I would be dying of boredom. I actually appreciate him more this way, and I love the fact he has his own life, friends, and activities during the day.

Do I feel like he ‘attaches’ to the daycare teachers more than myself or my husband? Good God, no. That’s – literally – the dumbest of all ‘anti-daycare’ arguments I’ve ever heard. Do you identify more with your employer than your spouse? Because let’s be honest, if you have a full time job, you spend more time at work than at home. The answer, again, is of course not. Kids are not idiots; they know who’s who.

As with everything in parenting, you go with what works for you. There will always be the ‘harpies’ who judge people for taking a different path than they did, but whatever – that narrow-mindedness is their problem. (Which has always blown my mind – how can some random stranger feel they know what’s better for me and my family based on their ‘knowledge’ of the subject? I don’t care what YOU’VE experienced – I care about what I’VE experienced. Just boggles the mind….)

1
160 25

If you don't care what others have experienced, why bother being a part of a community like this and boldly offering your own opinion? I worked in day care, and kids do get mixed up. I did not say that they're idiots, but the person they are with day after day is who they begin to see as their parental figure. Children are very logical when they make sense of their world. Many children at the day care that I worked in would call us mom - especially the younger ones - because, lets face it, day care workers take on the role of mother (or, less frequently, father) for 8-10 hours a day. I am baffled at how being home with your child could be boring. I'm not trying to attack you - it's something that has been a mystery to me for years. I have three children that are at day care/preschool age, and I haven't had a moment to be bored since day one. Everything is so exciting to them - we do crafts, sing songs, watch movies, practice writing with the older ones, bake, cook, go on day trips to local activities, have play dates, go to dance class, and the two older ones help me clean and care for the house (the youngest will be 3 weeks old tomorrow). I just can't wrap my head around the idea of being bored as a stay-at-home parent. There are so many opportunities to play and teach your kids, sometimes there just aren't enough hours in the day. Anyway, again - I'm not trying to attack you or be a jerk. I just have trouble understanding. Like I said in my initial post, I understand that things happen and people have to put their kids in care, but I just can't imagine readily and willingly handing my kids over to someone else to basically raise them. I suppose what works for me doesn't work for everyone, and I appreciate other points of view.

View More
160 25

I guess I'll be the first to go. Day care is NOT an option for our family for several reasons. First, with three kids aged 3 and below, it would cost us roughly $650-700/week to put them in an actual day care center, and approximately $450 for an in-home center in our area. Second, I worked in day care for just under 5 years and it was heart breaking. While we provided the best care that we could, the kids lacked a close relationship with their families. I'd see their mother's hearts break as they overheard us telling the kids that we are not their mom. I feel like sending them to day care from infancy on really puts a strain on the family aspect and tight bond that families should be developing in those formative years.
On top of it, day care workers make between $8 and $10 an hour here... so, these people are barely scraping by on terrible wages to basically mass raise children. I'm going to make a broad assumption based on this, so please understand that this does not go for EVERY caregiver out there, but people who live on wages like that usually are not overly educated. I'm saying this based on my experience. We had two groups of people at the center I worked in: college students looking for something flexible to get them through college before starting their "real" careers, and people who barely made it through high school (if at all) and this job was all they were eligible for. All of them cared for the children like they were their own, but it's up to these people to then TEACH your children.
Another point is that kids are usually awake for 12-13 hours a day. They spend 8-10 (sometimes more, but it's illegal in my state to have them in day care for more than 10) of those hours with someone else. The parent wakes them up, gets them ready, and drives them to day care. That accounts for about an hour and a half of the morning. Then, they're in care for 8-10 hours. They get picked up, commute home, eat dinner, get baths, go to bed. When is there time for the parent to instill their morals and beliefs in their children? Or simply to bond? The weekends? That seems unfair and pointless to me.
I understand that unplanned situations come up and parents have to go to work unexpectedly, and I feel for those parents who unintentionally miss out. However, I'm saddened by the number of people who have babies with the intention of them spending their lives in day care. As I watch my own children grow day after day, I just can't imagine so willingly and eagerly passing them off to caregivers because they simply don't want to (or feel that they can't survive on one income). I would miss so much.
I apologize if this isn't the answer you wanted to read, but it's as honest as I can be. I'll try to keep up with this thread to see responses, as I'm sure there will be some... but I usually lose threads and forget to check back on them.
All the best :)

Nykee

1
3 5

I agree with you Nykee, 100%. I can understand if you LOVE your job but I feel once you are a mother raising your kids is your job now. Some people can't survive on one income. My husband and I have done it and we struggled but I wouldn't give up time with my kids for anything. They are only little once, I can have my career later. Another thing is that when my oldest daughter was a baby my mother in law watched her for most of the day. It did get to the point where she was calling her "mom" and she would want her all of the time and not me. It broke my heart.

View More
2,093 0

Daycare fills a need for some families, and there are kids who really enjoy going. In general though, daycare is associated with higher rates of stress and aggression in children. It's not something I would do unless I really needed it, and I would be very picky about the kind of daycare I selected.

0
3 0

Daycare is something that is helpful it's paying for that's the problem where I'm from exspecially in this encomy that it's hell on earth. Most single mom's do not have $256.00 plus to pay for daycare. I have done CCIS for month's but see onces you start working that becomes co-pays and extra money you have to put out.

0
5 0

I think it is great! Interaction with your peers is great to start when you're young. I'm looking for a daycare right now actually in Tacoma. A few people referred me to this place: http://www.kidscountry.net. I set up a time to go check them out.

0
30 9

I'd like both my children to go to daycare. But we cannot afford it.In my town it'll. Cost us $940 for our 6 year old, and 1year old to go to daycare. We can't afford it. As for geared to income daycare... We are 205 on the waiting list for a spot. This is outrageous. , so u till the younger is known school, I will be a

"domestic engeneer " lol, that is what my sister in law calls a stay at home mom...looks better on a resume.lol

0
30 9

I had my older son in daycare and it was fantastic. Hewas exersizex, was put on a great schedule, and made tons of friends...some he is still very close to even to this day.his daycare was attached to bis school,so lots of his same class kids were in the same after school program. I believe it aided him in speaking sooner (and getting help in speculation therapy for a lisp he had, that was done right at his daycare) . My nephew does not go to daycare and he tantrums and doesn't speak. He almost three.they struggle to get assistance for him, something that would be done anyway if he were in daycare.

1,510 49

In my opinion, if you can have children you need to be there to teach them and guide them, so I do not like daycare because I think its just a way of dropping your kids off on someone else to teach and guide. I do know many people who just cannot stay home with their children. Sacrifices have to be made, some of the things that are necessary for living aren't..like cable, phones, internet..the luxuries of life.

0
216 0

I had to put my oldest son in daycare from 9 months old until he was about 6. I didn't like not being with him but I had to work.
I would only go to a daycare that I knew the person or that I could go in and visit at any time. It also went by how I felt when meeting the potential provider. Our gut instincts are usually correct, we just tend to ignore them.
My two youngest are home with me now and even if I wanted to put them in to go to work, I wouldn't even make enough to justify working.

0
0 6

There is no wrong or right answer but only what fits for you. but I think it all depends on the families and what they think is best. As a child care provider, a mom and a nanny. My choice was to keep my daughter home with me. Giving the opportunity that I had the option to put her in child care and continue to work in the field or nanny and have her stay with me, i choose to nanny and have her stay wth me. For me that was the best choice she got the social skills while still learning through play and work books that i do with all of the children's i care for. But if you need to work or don't have time to take out of your day to sit with your child to teach them or they don't have the opportunity to get social skills when preschool is the best fit for your child. I think preschool is wonderful for children but so is staying home if can be. Your child will be in school for the next 15 years if they choose college so if you can and have the time to teach your child and let them have social skills keep them home till kindergarten!!! But make sure they are kindergarten ready when that time comes!! You are all wonderful mommies with what ever you choose and just remember that. Let no one tell you different!!!

0
139 10

Hi, personaly I think we should not judge parents on their decsions to either stay at home, or send their children to day care. It comes down to what the parenst feel is right for their children , I have for over 25 years worked with many children both ion day care and as a private nannie, I also have four adult children and Granchildren. This of course does not mean that I am calling my self an 'expert' what I can say is I have an understanding of both views, in todays society children unfortunatly do not have the freedom of children in the past to play and explore and learn how to use their wonderful imaginations in a safe healthy surroundings, tecnology sometimes has become the childminder of many young children, who will not experiance social skills and coping in a wider more difficult situation such as school surrondings, so day care is a very good way of allowing a young child to experiance what might have been learned in the past in the the outside enviroment with other children, although parents are the anchor and the nuturing support children will always need, the are times when children can like us all look to learn from others outside of the family, children should be encouragesd to express themseleves and use their imaginations in as many ways as possible to give them confidence and a sense of independence, so that when met with stronger difficult challenges they will know what is expected of them.
Parents who allow their children their own space are so very much appreciated when the quality time that they have together is shared. The choice at the end of the day is always down to the parents, however consideration should be given to what part of the role of the parent is allowing your child a place to grow healthy independant and confident be at home or within a good day care setting.

0
149 53

I never put any of my kids in day care. Money was a very big reason.....but also I don't trust just anyone with my kids and there are far too many horror stories out there about day care.

0
35 1

My thoughts are that it depends--there is no one size fits all. Some children thrive and crave the controlled chaos of daycare. And others hate it and feel as if their world has collapsed. I had one of each. So I quit work and stayed home with the one who needed the order of being at home where she could go off by herself when she needed to be alone. and I sent the one who craved the chaos to daycare and went back to work.

Chris

0
3 0

I loved the day care my children had when they were 3 and 4 yrs. But when they got older, it seemed that day care turned into let them run around like nuts and not additional help with school work. Saved the money and brought them home, and continued the learning experience at home.

0
1 0

Social interaction can be provided at play groups - it's not a good reason to support day care. Also, it's often not well supervised social interaction, so if you're okay with your child picking up other kids' bad habits (hitting, pushing, grabbing...)...
I'm sure there are some awesome day cares around that provide intentional, character building guidance (I have yet to see one), but I've heard way too many first-hand accounts of kids being neglected, and even suspicions of abuse (heavily bruised arms and legs) - it's tough when your child is too young to tell you what actually happens during the day.
Daycare was never a consideration for us - it is expensive, but more important, it's not the loving, intentional parenting that we want for our kids.

0
20 2

Not really; it's way too expensive where I live! All that would happen would be that it would chew up at least someone's paycheck :/ So I work from home and frankly, my kidlet would probably hate daycare anyway, lol!

0
80 10

We have only one child and we decided to put her in for social aspects and to give her more variety. If we had two most probably not. Our child has so much enthusiasm to attend childcare (she has been going for about 6mths) so I'm impressed with that. I think we are too thorough parents at times, we checked out about 10 childcare before we all made a decision. It is family based thou admin is absolutely crap lol we didn't like the council run or the big commercial childcare places. Compare is always the best in my mind, friends recommendations or convinence isn't always the best choice in my mind. My child has improved heaps in development and yes has been sick which is a downfall thou not too many. Biggest down side is parents who are willing to sacrafice their childs and others health because they don't want to have time off work - SUCK IT UP PEOPLE OR KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED!

0
6 17

the daycare my 1 year goes to has a great setting.. for the 1 yr olds - its 5 for 1 teacher . I like the fact that in my daughters class theres only 5. That way its easier for the teacher to concentrate equally on each kid. Her daycare teaches table manners - which for me is a PLUS, they also teach colors and letters and numbers. They do something different everyday. Some parents stays home, but I prefer putting mine in daycare that way they can learn more and socialize with other kids. In EVERY daycare some ones kid gets hurt, or hit by another kid, or pushed.. honestly thats part of life.

0

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms