Do you allow others to discipline your child?

When other people are watching your child, either family, friends, or a babysitter, are you comfortable with them disciplining your child? Does it depend on who the person is?

40  Answers

13 32

Yes, I do. I don't feel that others should be responsible for disciplining my child but if we are somewhere and one of my friends with kids sees him doing something naughty and corrects him, that is fine. He needs to know that I am not the only adult that he needs to listen to.

21
19 0

That's how I am with my sister's kids. Normally, if she's around I let her handle the discipline. But if she's not paying attention or doesn't handle it herself just because she's aggravated then I step in.

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3 37

Yes, you can't expect anyone to look after your child and then let them do whatever they like with no consequences. I wouldn't want to look after anyones child if I was not allowed to discipline them. I will not put up with disrespect from children and I would not expect anyone who is caring for my children to put up with this or any other bad behaviour.

15
19 0

I feel exactly the same. I'm not going to watch someone's child and let them disrespect me and treat me like a door mat. My daughter is only 11 months, but thinking of the future I'd be PISSED if I found out my babysitter just let her run rampant and do whatever she wanted. Children need set rules that are ALWAYS the rules! They need to know that right and wrong don't change just because mommy and daddy needed a night out or whatever the case may be!

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11 11

I would NEVER allow someone to watch my children if I didn't trust them to do something as simple as give a punishment. It is part of learning as a child. If they do something bad with no punishment they aren't learning right from wrong. As for the punishment I don't think anyone babysitting should physically punish my children but a time out of take something away is fine. So I guess the answer is yes. If I can't trust them to give a time out they shouldn't be trusted to watch the kids.

12
19 0

Exactly what I had commented up there. If they aren't disciplined for something then they aren't seeing that it is wrong.

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2 0

yes they can discipline my child but l don,t want them to physically punish my child.

9
6 7

that depends kid are so smart these days they will walk over ppl if there tone of voice is not stern so it is either you want them to or you dont want them to be disciplined by someone just as long as they are not injured in the process

22 0

Absolutely! They have to learn respect for authority figures other than their parents. Anyone who watches my kids know the forms of discipling i use, but for me that has never really been an issue, my kids behave better for other people, they are little hell-raisers for us(lol). Everyone says they are so well-behaved and polite, and that's because they learn Aran early age that we expect them to respect their elders.

Not allowing someone to discipling your child when in their care is not a pretty thing to witness. I know someone who doesn't and her child is just a nightmare to watch. The best way is to let whomever is watching your kids what forms of discipline you find acceptable. I don't believe in spanking so i would not appreciate someone spanking my kids.

5
10 0

There are so many ways to discipline a child that doesn't require doing something physical. I have been a teacher for 24 years and when I didn't have consequences for bad behavior, I had problems, even with preschoolers. You have to find out what the child doesn't like and apply that punishment after a warning. I definitely want others to discipline my child and I want to find out afterward and we have a talk and possible my own consequences afterward. Children need to learn respect for all adults, not to mention respect for everyone.

4
0 0

Yes I do they are not allowed to physically punish but they can do time out because if I'm not around I want to know that my kids are behaving and respecting that adult the way they would me

4
70 9

lets just be honest here i allow others to discipline my child....but.... yelling at my child and belittling them is something i won't have nor will i allow physical discipline and like most parents i feel a twinge of anger when some one yells at my child or threatens to smack them as i have had people do before there is a way to discipline a child without sitting them in a corner or resorting to smacking especially if you are just caring for the child as my children's mother if i am around i will discipline my children i expect people to tell me if something has happened or say to my children listen to your mother/father please and if alone with my children find other ways to discipline them with out embarrassing them in front of other children take them away and speak to them tell them their behavior is unacceptable if they have a temper tantrum put them in another room to cool down and talk to them when MY CHILDREN are ready to talk and anyone who takes care of my kids must remember what it was like being a kid so they can understand and deal with the situation better treat a child how you wanted to be treated as a kid but remember to be the adult give a fair punishment and sometimes a child just needs space like we all do and once they have that breather then everything is fine

3
35 18

very well said!

23 0

I think it depends on the situation and how they are disciplined. I don't spank my son and neither will anyone else.

3
0 24

I am a firm believer of if my son is in your home and he is doing something that you don'y want him to do then you tell him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There have always been certain rules i.e jumping on furniture etc that i have always installed into my son that is not acceptable not only in our home but wherever he is.

2
6 7

i was always told that it takes a village to raise a child Yes i would allow another person to discipline my child. If my child is doing something wrong that can cause me trouble it is ok for someone to discipline him or her

2
1

only in an emergency situation. like if my kid does something stupid and I'm not there. but if I'm standing right there I will have words because if I'm not reacting to something I obviously do not have as big a problem as other people. when you displine my kid infront of me before you even give me a chance you send a message to me and my kid that I do not matter. people should ask first or mention their concerns to me.

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0 20

No i don't......

1
1 0

Definitely no, I will not allow anybody except me and my husband to have a control and to discipline the child. I feel, when we let others to do..confidence level and self respect of a child gets morally down.

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0 6

To quote my parents, "my house, my rules." I discipline other kids in my house and I expect my kid to be disciplined while at other people's homes. I will discipline someone's kid right in front of them if they won't do it. When my son was younger, I disciplined other people's kids at the park (asked them to stop shoving, knocking over the littler kids, cutting in line, etc.) when it was obvious that their own parents were going to do nothing. And since the schools have been turned into glorified babysitters (with basically no authority to discipline), I talk with every teacher about letting me know if my child is not behaving in school. He knows I will find out and discipline him myself. I was raised in a neighborhood where we basically were welcome in every house on the cul-de-sac, everyone knew everyone else, and every single parent had the same authority over me that mine own did...so, not only would you get in trouble by that parent, they would then tell your parents and you would get in trouble a second time. I believe that my son does not need me to be his friend, he needs me to be his parent.

1
2 6

I would actually count on the fact that the person I trust to watch my children would not only discipline them, but would do so in the same way that I do. I would make sure that the adult in charge knows the steps I take to avoid problems behaviors and the steps I take to discipline those that arise.

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90 53

I've told people repeatedly that I have no problem with them disciplining my son verbally, giving timeouts, or taking away whatever he's misbehaving with. I will discipline my son with the occasional spanking, but will NOT permit others to do so. I fully believe in the "it takes a village to raise a child," and have no problems verbally reprimanding other people's children if I see them doing something they obviously shouldn't be doing. For example: pushing or hitting other children, taking toys another is playing with, and on one occasion, giving a kid a set down when he was being incredibly rude to his mother and she didn't defend herself.

I think there are times when this shouldn't be a problem with other parents because if you have one kid hit another kid, and the second kid hits back to defend himself, usually only the second kid gets in trouble because the first kid isn't seen doing the instigating. But if another adult witnesses the whole thing, then the situation can be better handled. I suppose I'm a bit of a harridan, but I've also been told repeatedly that my child is exceptionally well behaved even when I'm not around (he's 3) and people beg me to have the opportunity to babysit him. I'm tough on him to make sure he's polite and knows what is acceptable behavior and what is not. I also expect the same of others' children as well.

1
1 5

It Takes A Village To Raise A Child.......
My children are grown now, but I never had a problem with an adult correcting their behavior. Also, I don't shy away from correcting children, even if the parents are present. I do it in a nice way, but young parents need to teach their children respect for others.
Anyone who has a problem with an adult nicely correcting bad behavior is raising a child who will be disrespectful to others. That doesn't mean yelling at children. It is simply correcting inappropriate behavior. Many, many times I have had parents thank me for my help.

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3 4

I expect my son to follow the rules no matter where he is at and if someone is watching him and he is not following their rules, I expect that person to correct and even disclipine my son. I have a different set of rules in my house versus my sister's house; however, when she brings her daughter over, her daughter is expected to follow my rules. Even if her mom is there, my rules are still enforced and I will discipline her accordingly, especially my rules are stricter then me sister's rules.

1
3 19

My son's best friend has a Mother who treats all children like her own. Feeds them, disciplines them, loves them all equally. I would trust this woman to take my child anywhere. And if he's doing something wrong, I trust her to punish him accordingly. If I don't trust adults to do the right thing, I don't need to leave my child in their care.

1
15 0

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32 26

I allow other people to put limits on my children. Consequences are okay if agreed upon with me. We are a no spank household so of course, I would never allow someone else to hit my children. If there is a problem with the classroom, Sunday School Room etc. that can't be handled with agreed upon limits and consequences then I want to know about it. The other adults and I can work something out that will get the kiddo back in line.

1
8 7

I would never leave my child in someone's care who cannot discipline them. This is unfair to them as well as my daughter. I do however let them know what forms of discipline are appropriate and for what. My daughter is almost 27 months and in the middle of the terrible twos. I believe in picking your battles. I do not discipline her for every rule broken or she would constantly be in trouble!! I DO NOT however tolerate biting, hitting, disrespect or tantrums. The infraction depends on the amount of discipline and I let everyone who watches my child know what is appropriate and what is not. She knows she is to respect all adults and not just me and Daddy, not allowing a sitter to discipline your child is a terrible injustice to them as well as the adult watching them.

1
37 0

When my son is in the care of another person, I expect him to do as he's told and behave himself according to the rules of the person in charge, as they are the adult, and he is the child. He knows this, so if he plays up then I really hope they do discipline him, in a suitable way.

I would not be happy if my son was spanked by someone else, (unless it was his father) as I think its disrespectful and not necessary.

Kids should not think they can get away with misbehaving just because their parents are not there.

1
14 26

I would not allow for anyone else to spank my children. However, if my children are in someone's care, I would allow for them to be scolded or put in time-out if the situation deemed it. There are too many parents out there who are not teaching their children to respect authority. My daughter had a little girl in her pre-k class that told her teacher "my mama said I dont have to listen to you cuz your not my mama." How does that mama expect for that child to ever learn?

1
9 32

Definitely, because discipline doesn't mean there has to be physical punishment. Discipline is correction when a child intentionally does something wrong. If my children are needing correction when they are with another adult, I expect that adult to give correction. Most of the time it will be a verbal thing anyway. Sometimes it may include a time out of some sort.

1
25 8

If I am not present, then i would expect someone to discipline my child if required. (not physically) but time out, or a telling off/ explantion to child what they are doing wrong. my child regulary goes to a childminder and I would expect her to discipline where required.

1
0 0

I never leave my child with someone i think will use physical discipline , i leave my child w/ someone i trust, and that's only 4 ppl and 2 of the 4 live with me so i may be a little over doing it but it's better than not knowing what's going on. If you can't trust someone or feel like you can't trust someone don't leave your child with them, it's easier when the child can talk and tell you what goes on when your away but even at the age of 5 my son has only been watched by 4 ppl and i trusted them all, i knew them well, i have actually lived with all 4 at one point and know that they can be trusted. As far as discipline time out that's the best way for anyone to discipline a child's behavior, whopping and yelling at a child only makes them believe it's OK to be physically and mentally abusive and of course neither are ever ok. My son has started wanting to interrupt and argue recently over whatever he can think of he has rarely even been in time out so he's just testing me to see what I'll put up with. I tell him to stop yelling and trying to argue and If he continues i stop talking to him period, put him in his time out chair, tell him why he's being put there and explain he needs to think about what he's done, and when he can talk in a normal tone I'll talk to him, make sure you do that comely if you yell at your child they'll grow up and think verbal abuse is ok. Then i make him sit there usually 5 mins and ask if he knows what he's done and why he got put in time out, from there i ask why he was behaving this way, like i said he doesn't really have a real answer bc he's just seeing what I'll put up with and either makes weird noises or starts talking about something unrelated. We then have a conversation about what happened, how it happened and why that behavior is not ok. If he does something bad that makes me angry i comely tell him to go to time out, i always make sure that i don't talk in a hateful tone to him even if i need to calm myself first good luck

0
41 0

their house - yes, my house no. Babysitter yes. However discipline is respectful and verbal ONLY, if my kid is that bad someone wants to hit her or put in time out then I'm taking her home or asking the other family to leave. The babysitter is getting paid to care for my child the way I want. Thankfully she is a legend who shares my parenting views 100%

0
93 4

Yes i do... If someone is watching my daughter, and she is doing something that she isnt suppose to be then i expect them to tell her no and correct her or give her a time out, even if I have family or friends or something over, and im in a different room and over hear someone telling my daughter no, i listen but i dont come in and get involved I stongly believe that children need to know that they have to listen to adults not just their parents, its also helps them respects their elders.. the only thing i dont like is when my niece who is 13 tried to boss my daughter around and she said she is dicaplining her, becuase she does it in the complete wrong way and I always have to correct her and tell her to just tell her no and come get me if im not in the room, the only person other then myself and my husband that have smacked my daughter bum, is her GG and I let it go becuase she very well diserved it and its her GG other then that i think that if i ever found out that someone put their hand on my child i would lose it.

0
5 0

it depend on who the person is because i can only discipline my sister's children not outsider.

0
166 0

Yes if they are over someone elses house. Our friends are the same way. Apparently the kids are normally good at other's houses

0
0 25

Time out is fine but nothing more. I don't put a hand on my children and neither should anyone else.

0
4 0

This post reminds me of an episode of the real housewives of new jersey I just watch recently where they had a field day and one of the ten year old kids threw an absolute fit, and while her mothers friends were trying to calm her and read her a book about being a good sport the girl is screaming at the adult women( in the woman's own house no less) to leave her alone etc etc. I was disgusted and wanted to jump in the tv and smack the little girl myself, and I know as a kid had I talked to a mother, aunt, or any other adult like that id have a big price to pay...and then when the mother found out about it she yelled at her friends that nobody should reprimand her daughter but her...no wonder she is such a brat...good luck when she goes from the real housewife to sixteen and pregnant or scared straight haaha. Also I expect any adult to correct my child for wrong behavior, ever hear "it takes a village to raise a kid" I know I regarded all of my neighbors parents as disciplinarians growing up.

0
4 0

Also I should add I dont think it's right to discipline a child if the parent is present and handling it as this witch who is dating my boyfriends belter always tries to tell my son what to do even after ive given him clear instructions. I web stopped going to their family functions to avoid this twit. And similarly I hate w parents are pesent and let the child demonstrate terrible behavior. But when the parent is there I just but out unless the other kid is effecting my son, or doing something dangerous

0 23

I am 100% comfortable with the person watching my son to discipline him. He needs to know that he has to respect every adult; not just me b/c I'm his mother. For the most part, he is a great, well-mannered child. But there are times when he likes to act out a little too much (fighting anyone he wants) so I will spank him b/c he needs to understand that he cannot go around hitting other people without there being consequences. If the person who is watching my son feels that he needs to be spanked then they have my permission. There are times when talking just doesn't cut it and I do NOT do time-outs!!!! I tell my son to do something once. And if I have to tell him more than once then we have a problem. I refuse to let him grow up and be wild and out of control. You have to start when they're young so as they grow up it will be instilled in them. And the same goes if I'm watching someone else's child. I am not going to let someone else's child come over and tear up my house and not say or do anything about it. If the parent is there then I expect them to correct it and if they don't then I will. Why would I allow your child to come over and do something in my house that I don't allow my own son to do? Why is it that your child can't do certain things at your house but when you come to mine, you let them do whatever they want? NOT gonna happen. Point blank period

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0 15

i allow my family to spank him if he needs it because i am a firm believer in spankings if you dont spank they dont respect so judge me all you want but that is all who watches my child i dont trust anyone else but my family and thats the way its going to stay for now for ever to many sick fucks are out there that do bad things to kids and beat them just last year i had one of my friends child was murdered i will never trust anyone to watch my children till they are about 9 or ten

0
46 15

it completely depends on who you have watching your child/ren. it cant be just anybody, even family, not everyone will discipline your child/ren they way you see fit or would allow. my husband & I always had problems when it came to that . whenever my family would watch our girls they had their own way of punishing them sometimes we agreed but other times we didnt. if you allow anyone else besides you or your spouse to discipline your kid/s make sure they do it your way or you could have problems in the furture, take it from someone who has been there. i myself regret ever letting my family punish my kids period. as for our friends they never had to, but would give good advice on differant ways of punishing them. but it was up to us to agree with them.
(i would NEVER let a stranger discipline my kids ever. we can take care of it when we get home)

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31 29

Yes, I am definately comfortable for others to descipline my children when am not around. This will let them know that i am not the only one to descipline them. And also, it will prompt them to behave well when they are among others and not their family members alone.They have to listen to everyone.

0
289 10

If I am asking them to watch my child of course there is no question. I don't want my kids to be little terrors for them. If I trust them enough to watch my kids, I trust them enough to discipline them.

0
4 16

Yes, I am a single mother not by choice.
Finally in homeschool coop last session we attended, I had to say to the instructors "look do what you need to do". for my youngest was in his own world. Once I let the instructors in on it I got much better reports.

0
6 1

If they're watching my child, they are in charge of my child, so yes I would allow them to discipline the child in that circumstance. HOWEVER, I would expect that they would only take steps that I or my husband would take and not just go on their own parenting philosophy. I would do the same for someone else's child.

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