How can I get my 28 year old son to live on his own?

It's hard for parents to see their kids grow up and leave home. But what should you do your child isn't leaving at all?

40  Answers

7 7

Don't make it so easy for him to stay home. Charge him rent. Don't do his laundry. Give him curfews. Make it uncomfortable for him to be there.

17
1 17

I agree. I started charging my youngest son $150.00 for room and board when he turned 18 years old. He still had a month of high school left, but had a job. I wanted him to have a taste of the real world. He also had to help with laundry and other chores. He didn't like having to pay rent, but I just said welcome to the real world.

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0 20

My husband was 35 when he left home.............. push that boy out!!! Your future daughter-in-law will love you for it :)

10
2 0

Am Alicia Campbell from California.I want to use this medium to tell you all about my spell caster.About two years ago I was having problems with my husband and he left me for another lady.I did everything I could to get my husband back all to no avail until last month when a friend of mine introduced me to(magalaspiritualtemple@gmail.com)were I met a great spell caster who gave me a spell with instructions on how to use it.I did all I was told and two weeks later my husband came back home begging me for forgiveness.I forgave him and today we are living together again.You could be the next to tell your story why not try this temple out?Contact them via this email:(magalaspiritualtemple@gmail.com). (1) If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams. (3) You want to be promoted in your office. (4) You want women/men to run after you. (5) If you want a child. (6) You want to be rich. (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever. (8) If you need financial assistance. (9) Herbal care (10) If you can be able to satisfy your wife sex desire due to low erraction. (11) if your menstruation refuse to come out the day it suppose or over flows. (12) if your work refuse to pay your, people owing you?. (13) solve a land issue and get it back. (14) Did your family Denny you of your right? (15) Let people obey my words and do my which. (16) Do you have a low sperm count? (17) Case solve E.T.C free to contact him at magalaspiritualtemple@gmail.com, and tell him what you need to be solve.

4 4

If he is capable of supporting himself, give him a deadline, maybe 2-3 months, to find his own place. Offer to help him find secondhand furniture if he wants or needs to. If he's not capable of supporting himself right now, then help him make a 6 month plan to get there. Charge him rent and then give it back to him for a security deposit, if necessary.

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19 81

For a 28 year old I think giving him a security deposit is too much. Tough love is needed and a month to find an apt should be enough. Just my opinion.

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1 2

Does he have a job? Can he support himself? I definitely want my kids to be independent however, in this economy, we've kinda gone back to the days when kids lived with their parents longer. Both my boys have been out but are now back in my home. One works full time and does extra things on the side but he's also bulding his savings so that he can afford his own place as well as opening a business in five years. The other is working an "on call" job and I wish he could find something better but he's also attending school working towards his doctorate. I'm proud of both and don't feel either are taking advantage of us. But I'm sure every circumstance is different. I would suggest giving them a deadline. (I have done that with one of them after he moved a girlfriend w/ her daughter into my home) Explain that if he wants to be a grown up, then get out and support himself!

5
1 2

I also do want to mention that both boys buy their own food (especially since one is vegan) and I do not do laundry or clean for them. They have household chores just like their sister and are expected to help out. I do not charge rent because both are saving for their own goals. I don't have a problem with them being in the house; they help a lot (one usually puts more gas in my car than I do, always a plus)

29 23

It is difficult now a days for young people to live on their own. Housing is so expensive that is in California. I don't know what your situation is exactly with your son, but my son who will turn 30 this year lived off and on with us until he was about 27 he then moved in with some friends and then had to move back home for about 1 and a half because his roommates went back to live with their parents. He has been now living on his own again with a roomate for the last 8 months. All you can do is I think be supportive and help them save money to move out . He will get tired of living at home. Try not to cuddle him but be supportive. The more love you give your children the more they will respect you. Times are hard. If he doesn't have a job - he definitely needs to get one and you need to encourage it. I always encouraged my children to venture out without asking them to move out - it sometimes takes longer for some to fly away. Be patient.

4
2 0

Am Alicia Campbell from California.I want to use this medium to tell you all about my spell caster.About two years ago I was having problems with my husband and he left me for another lady.I did everything I could to get my husband back all to no avail until last month when a friend of mine introduced me to(magalaspiritualtemple@gmail.com)were I met a great spell caster who gave me a spell with instructions on how to use it.I did all I was told and two weeks later my husband came back home begging me for forgiveness.I forgave him and today we are living together again.You could be the next to tell your story why not try this temple out?Contact them via this email:(magalaspiritualtemple@gmail.com). (1) If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams. (3) You want to be promoted in your office. (4) You want women/men to run after you. (5) If you want a child. (6) You want to be rich. (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever. (8) If you need financial assistance. (9) Herbal care (10) If you can be able to satisfy your wife sex desire due to low erraction. (11) if your menstruation refuse to come out the day it suppose or over flows. (12) if your work refuse to pay your, people owing you?. (13) solve a land issue and get it back. (14) Did your family Denny you of your right? (15) Let people obey my words and do my which. (16) Do you have a low sperm count? (17) Case solve E.T.C free to contact him at magalaspiritualtemple@gmail.com, and tell him what you need to be solve.

254 28

I moved back home at 27 with my 2 children after splitting up with their father. My intentions were to stay a few months until I got my tax return, but my dad offered the option to stay longer to get myself in a better position, so almost 5 years later, I got all my debt paid off, bought a newer reliable vehicle, and saved $20,000 for a down payment on a house. My dad's motto of he will always help me if I'm helping myself has been passed on to my kids, it doesn't mean forever...

Do you want him to leave? Does he not want to leave or not in the position to leave? Does he work? Does he take care of his own responsibilities? And most importantly, does he respect your home? I don't think there is necessarily a specified time they should move out...I think as parents, we just want them to be in the best position they can; however it is very important that we also treat them as adults and not enable them "never growing up" either.

4
8 0

What a great dad! but you have to give yourself credit too as you were the one who saved your money, he was the one who allowed you to save it!

1 11

that's easy...ya give them a curfew, do not allow any females to saty at the house, charge rent, and keep to your rules! Kids would rather pay strangers and do what they want than to pay parents and have no freedom! Alos nagging works wonders!

4
0 2

I didn't and don't want my my kids to leave. I truly enjoy them; however, for their own growth it is important. My son moved out because he didn't like the rules. My daughter too will soon be leaving the nest. Probably for the same reason and her room is tiny and she needs more privacy.

4
0 2

Bottom line - it is our duty as parents to ensure our children can survive without us. We aren't going to be here forever to protect them. I quit washing their clothes when they were teens. I made them do the things I knew would make them successful in life. They hated me at times for it, but I look at them now and say Wow! I did pretty good considering. My son paid rent but resented rules still being applied, so finally moved out. Same with my daughter. I can see she can't wait to get away from us. I love them and will miss them, but it is for their best interests.

16 2

You know I read all the replies and they are absolutely correct in what they are saying. But I can say that my oldest brother who is now 60 lived with our mother until her death 2 years ago this May. He would often say mom will be the only woman I leave behind if something happens to me. Now before you say wow and other negative statements, the rest of us thought this to be bad but in the long run it turned out to be good, my mom developed dementia which quickly turned to alzheimers and if It had not been for him already being there it would have impacted the rest of us because we would have had to take time off to be with her some of us traveling far. I know we could have put her in a nursing home but why when she has children whom she raised up to be adults that could take care of her. I know this is a difficult decision to make, but make it with your heart and not your head or anyone elses opinion. if he decides to stay, let him know now women, no late night visits from the homies :-), lights out at a certain time, and no late nght phone calls unless he is on his cell and then make sure he is not disturbing anyone by being on that. The economy is not up to par yet and if he is employed the money he gives to you can be a big help.

3
112 0

I agree with you. Although I'm sure I'll end up exactly like your brother. Unfortunately because of my CP I can't drive or work and I get lost easily. So as much as I want to leave I think it's probably best I stay with my mom and plus then I'll be able to help her when she gets older and it will hopefully help my sisters out too.

1 11

About 15 years ago I knew a couple who couldn't get their grown children to move out so they sold their house and they moved to another state! They bought a one bedroom condo - no room for the kiddies!!!

3
1 8

I down sized to a 2 bedroom duplex just for that reason!!! Unfortunately he is back and sleeping on my couch!!! lol

2 1

Charge him rent for his room, don't do his laundry and make sure he knows you are doing this because you love him. Teach him how to clean, cook, shop, and take care of his home. The greatest gift you can give him is teaching him to live interdependently of you. Your future daughter in law will be your best ally. Good luck!
From mother of a 26 year old that is living independently with his girlfriend

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3 6

Well, this is what my mom did for me. I was just like your son, and I didn't want to leave her house either. I had a good job, I had a small son, and I had a car. I was living in her house, and paying her rent, on time, every month. Every year on January 1, I raised the rent, because that's how I thought the real world worked. After a while, it got to be too much for us to live together, so she suggested I move out. I didn't want to move out. She suggested that I move to my dad's house; I told her I'd live in my car first. I came home from work one day, and everything was fine; I went out for about an hour, I came back, and some of my furniture was gone! Oh no, I thought, I've been robbed! But, how is that possible, when my mom was still home, and her stuff was still here? I stormed upstairs, and demanded to know where my stuff was. She said very calmly, "It's at your dad's house."

Needless to say, I was not happy. I got my son and some of his things, and we moved into my dad's house. I didn't talk to my mother for a while after that. Fast forward a couple of months: I had some laundry that needed doing, and I knew my mom was out of town, so I decided to go over to her house and get it done. I went over there, and she had changed the locks on the door! I couldn't believe it! How could she have done this to me? I was very upset, and went around to a neighbor's house to ask if they had a key. They did, but they didn't let me in! You can imagine how angry I was. Anyway, I got the laundry done elsewhere, and when she got back, I let her know I was very angry with her over it. You know what she did? She let me know that I was a grown adult, and that I should be able to take care of myself and my son by now, and to get over it! Now, I had to ask permission to come over to her house, I couldn't just walk in anymore.

Well! I thought, I just won't talk to you for a while, see how you like that! You know what happened? I missed her terribly! It took me a few years to realize that I had just been the biggest brat ever born, and that she was right. Her kicking me out of the nest was THE best thing she could have ever done for me, and I am eternally grateful to her for it. I let her know that before she died in 2002, and I know that she was shocked that I had grown up enough to realize that.

I said all that to say this: Give your son a time limit to move out of your house. If he does not move out in that time, move him out. I'm not saying that you should change the locks on the doors, but if you have to go to there, do it. It IS your house, after all. Remind your son that you love him, and you're doing this because you love him. He has to grow up, and this will hurt for a while, but he'll get over it, and will thank you later for it. :)

3
0 0

I agree fully with this! I believe in helping for a limited amount of time but after you don't see them improving or trying then kick them out!

2 15

Are you charging him rent? If not, you should be. My parents charged me rent once I was on my own feet with a degree and job. Unbeknowns to me they put it away in a separate account and it help fund my wedding.

2
11 20

$900 rent, $300 utilities, $400 food, $200 laundry service, $100 cable tv or netflix per MONTH ought to do it. Then add in the HOUSE rules- no smoking in house, dishes, yard work, snow shoveling and plowing (if you are in an area where you need this) should seal the deal.

2
11 20

My oldest 29 owns a home of her own, middle child 26 in the service and owns his own home, youngest 22 currently renting with an option to purchase. AND they always know that mom is here for them, currently watching my son's dog for a year while he is stationed in Africa, but they also know that this is my house, my house rules and they have to support themselves. Not to say that mom can't be there if they run into trouble, but thankfully only has happened once.

1 15

just kick him out asap, its time he grew up love, he just knows he's got a great house maid ..

2
4 3

Kick him out

2
20 3

I agree that it's important for kids to move out on their own and make their own way in the world so they can discover who they are. However, is your son able to function on his own? Does he have good survival skills? Is he employed? Is he paying for his own room and board?

As a former restaurateur, I met a number of young people who were unable to care for themselves for a variety of reasons, from ADHD to psychological disorders to just "poor parenting" - basically, kids who grew up between daycares, school, the street and TV because their parents had to work so hard just to make ends meet.

My older kids were highly motivated and both of them moved out when they were eighteen ( as did I from my parents' home). My third moved out, but had such a rough time (his sister died while he was living on his own), that we suggested he move back in with us until he could get his feet under him again. However, we live in a rural area where there is no suitable employment (it has taken me 12 years to get a decent job, and I commute 1.5 hours each way daily!) We had to "launch" him by having him move out and back to the city. It was rough for him. He still thinks we "threw him out" even though he is now graduating from University with a double major and has worked for years in a gaming shop (right up his alley!) He has also discovered that he is a writer and a great editor as well. And we always knew he is a "computer whiz..."

Recently, we lost my oldest son to cancer, so this has greatly affected the whole family. Over the years, my dream became for our family to all buy property together and run our respective businesses. We've lost two, but I'm still hopeful! I sincerely believe that "family industries" and intentional communities are the way of the future. And I love the idea of families working together, if they want to, for the common good. This may be a way for our kids to leave home and stay home at the same time!

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26 22

Yes I is time he move on..... Just give him a date that you expect him to be gone. If he doesn't move put his things outside the door. change the locks on the door. I know that sounds cruel but do what you have to do. it"s past time.

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9 7

Wish I had an answer for this. My 21 year old son is at home and I don't see him going anytime soon. I guess if it wasn't so easy for them to stay, they wouldn't.

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1 4

I am amazed at how many young adults still live at home well into their 20's. I think parents are doing them a disservice by allowing them to stay. You have to give him a timeline to get his stuff together and stick to it. By allowing him to mooch off you you are not allowing him to growup and be a productive member of society.

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2 12

Tough-Love!!.....It's time that he made his own way in the world,tell him you love him and that your door is open anytime that he may need something.

1
5 8

You are so right Cindy, I had to get to a put of pain; from how I had crippled my children. They have to make thier own mistakes inwhich makes the person they are created to become. I feel for her, but it's her time and he's invaded into her time.

382 10

Does he have a job? Does he pay his portion of all the expenses? He should be paying his part if he is working.

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6 11

Tell him that if he is going to live at home he will have to start paying rent, say $600 a month, he will also have to start buying his own food (have a cupboard that he can put it in and a shelf in the fridge), he can also pay half of the utilities. He will of course have to wash his own clothes, and pick up after him self; if you do it he will have to pay you for these services.

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6 139

You need to make sure he has a decent job to support himself. If he does and he is blowing his money, then you need to start charging him rent and setting rules. After a while he will get tired of paying and of the rules and will want to live on his own. If you don't feel comfortable about charging him rent, then do it anyway and put the money in an account to help him out. Don't tell him though. When there's enough money, then tell him you will help him get a place and use that money. He may still show up at home for meals or to get his clothes cleaned, but this too will get less and less. At least that is sort of what I did with my son. Now he is married, has kids and works to support his family. I am so proud of all he has done.

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179 10

you don't tell enough of the story for me to really give you an answer that will really help you. But i will tell you my situation and what i did and you can take it from there.
I had this problem when my middle child ,a boy ,was 26 and going to college and working making good money . He was told he could stay with me until he was done college because i didn't want him to worry about anything else , school is very important to me.He didn't help AT ALL WITH ANYTHING .
My other two had moved out on their own .
So i told him i was moving into a one bedroom and he needed to find his own place . I know it sounds rough and mean but i had NO other choice . He had is bumps in the road but he now has college degree under his belt and lives in Edmonton and we e-mail everyday and talk twice a week . Sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind .
I hope this helps you in some way and many readers .
Love and respect Gina

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31 22

Make him pay rent, do his own laundry, buy his own food, pay his own bills, but first of all make him go out and get a job..

1
0 0

There is no way you can MAKE him or her do ANYTHING but you can MAKE them move out of YOUR house!

19 81

You have been given a lot of great advice. Does he pay rent and utilities. If not, I would give him a bill on how much he owes (include back rent). Then I would give him notice... A months notice to find a place and move out.

As empty-nesters - or you should be an empty-nester enjoying the next phase of your life you deserve to be done with the child raising.

If he doesn't move out or you notice he is just ignoring your notice I would contact the authorities and tell him this grown man refuses to move out and that you had given him notice. Make sure you have a copy of the notice.

I don't know if finding him an apt and moving all his things into it would work - but that is another idea - although that is a lot of work for you unless you can find help. Make sure it is far from you - across town.

AND change the locks! Good Luck and BE TOUGH!

TOUGH LOVE IS REQUIRED!

1
35 18

I have a 27 yr old and had 2 come home after a divorce, he wanted 2 do nothing 4 awhile but went back 2 school and now works with the union but i just kept telling him i couldn't afford 2 support a grown man and he needed 2 do something, he has a great work record with the army, bounty hunter, and had a lot of jobs in the past plus has a lot of schooling under his belt but again with the economy he could not get a job! Finally he got a break and has his own place, i think it was luck and confidence combined, he was with me about a year. Good luck dear, been there, done that!

1
18 10

Tell him he has 1 month to move out. And stick to it. I did this with my eldest son when he was not quite 19 - and not getting a job, following household rules, or showing respect to us as his parents.

He lived rough for a few months - slept on friends' settees and even lived in a tent in a field for about 6 weeks. But, in the end he got his act together and grew up, took on responsibility, and 4.5 years later is a young man I can be quite proud of.

Of course, on the other hand, my husband lived with his parents until we got married when he was 37.

So, if you feel he needs to move out then tell him but if you are able to make that transition together from a parent-child relationship to two adults, then there's nothing wrong with him continuing to live with you until such time as he is ready to start his own family.

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5 8

When my children began to get summer jobs, work after school; I made it clear there was some responsibilities they had to commit to as well. They had to start buying their own personal needs, getting their nails done, hair and I would support them in areas they were lacking. At the point they started becoming growner than me, it was time for them to have their own house holds. We had a house meeting and talked about what thy wanted, how they were going to get there and what could I do to help them; "Help Them", not do it for them. I started collecting apartment adds, writing down numbers as I drove by and we set a date to when they would be relocating into their own places. They had to contribute to rent, a bill, house supplies ect.... I'm not sure what your issue is about your son moving, maybe that's a question you should sit and ask yourself. He's 28 not 8, I was frighten for my children; especially my daughter that had my youngest grandchild. Yet, she had to find her own way. They are doing well, learning the toilet tissue don't just jump on the roll, soap doesn't just appear and bills don't pay themselves. Hunney, let him go, let him find his own way, you are crippling him and I feel sorry for the wonam that ends up with him......lmbo

1
432 25

You set a limit on how much longer you want them there. Tell them you have 6 months or a year to get their affairs in order and move out. Also make living at home uncomfortable if need be >=).

1
33 3

If you are supporting him n paying for him like it sound like you are then I would do a dollar for a dollar type thing to help him get out. You are already spend
G your cash n the reward will be that you won't have to anymore! So say I'm not goi
G to charge you rent or make you pay for food as long ad you get a job n save a % u both agree on n maybe you can match a part n he/she can be
Out in a few months. That way they have enough for security deposit n 1st n last month rent! Now if they Have had a good job all along n just spend it on junk maybe it's time to get a grandparent or a
Mutual person involved that can teach them how to get out of debt pay bills n stop spending on junk they want( that generation is spoiled n think wants are needs) my hubby is 6 years younger than me (34) n I would say his family is one that try's to keep up with the Jones n even if they can't afford it they got it for him so if he wants something it's still hard for him to understand that our kids come first then bills food so on then maybe us lol. He gets so mad anyway so I understand! He was living at home at 28 but it was because he had to move back to pay their house payment because they couldn't afford it, but it still bothered me because the last thing a mom of 4 boys wanted was another kid.
My 22yr n his wife have been married 2 yrs n he has worked a total of 6 months of that! She has worked the whole time! They came to me for a loan n normally I can't even do it, but I was able to.anyway she proceeded to tell me they will pay me back ASAP I told them if he gets a job I won't ask for it back! So I cross my fingers! The baby is due in nov. DiL isn't going to beable to work. Good luck!

1
2 0

Am Alicia Campbell from California.I want to use this medium to tell you all about my spell caster.About two years ago I was having problems with my husband and he left me for another lady.I did everything I could to get my husband back all to no avail until last month when a friend of mine introduced me to(magalaspiritualtemple@gmail.com)were I met a great spell caster who gave me a spell with instructions on how to use it.I did all I was told and two weeks later my husband came back home begging me for forgiveness.I forgave him and today we are living together again.You could be the next to tell your story why not try this temple out?Contact them via this email:(magalaspiritualtemple@gmail.com). (1) If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams. (3) You want to be promoted in your office. (4) You want women/men to run after you. (5) If you want a child. (6) You want to be rich. (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever. (8) If you need financial assistance. (9) Herbal care (10) If you can be able to satisfy your wife sex desire due to low erraction. (11) if your menstruation refuse to come out the day it suppose or over flows. (12) if your work refuse to pay your, people owing you?. (13) solve a land issue and get it back. (14) Did your family Denny you of your right? (15) Let people obey my words and do my which. (16) Do you have a low sperm count? (17) Case solve E.T.C free to contact him at magalaspiritualtemple@gmail.com, and tell him what you need to be solve.

1 8

definitely give him a deadline I charged all my 4 sons board. They were great with that but then decided to move I have them at 30, 28 25 & 22 the last two went into the Air Force so have to do for themselves but a time should be recognised by both parties, and adhered to. I really agree with all the others on this topic. Just also don't let him have sleepovers or anyone else in his room as it is your house your rules. My Dad lives with us now he is 89 but it is still our house our rules for him as he plays on his age, can't kick him out tho

Lee T

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2 0

Am Alicia Campbell from California.I want to use this medium to tell you all about my spell caster.About two years ago I was having problems with my husband and he left me for another lady.I did everything I could to get my husband back all to no avail until last month when a friend of mine introduced me to(magalaspiritualtemple@gmail.com)were I met a great spell caster who gave me a spell with instructions on how to use it.I did all I was told and two weeks later my husband came back home begging me for forgiveness.I forgave him and today we are living together again.You could be the next to tell your story why not try this temple out?Contact them via this email:(magalaspiritualtemple@gmail.com). (1) If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams. (3) You want to be promoted in your office. (4) You want women/men to run after you. (5) If you want a child. (6) You want to be rich. (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever. (8) If you need financial assistance. (9) Herbal care (10) If you can be able to satisfy your wife sex desire due to low erraction. (11) if your menstruation refuse to come out the day it suppose or over flows. (12) if your work refuse to pay your, people owing you?. (13) solve a land issue and get it back. (14) Did your family Denny you of your right? (15) Let people obey my words and do my which. (16) Do you have a low sperm count? (17) Case solve E.T.C free to contact him at magalaspiritualtemple@gmail.com, and tell him what you need to be solve.

1 16

I have a 23 year old son who is still in college. He graduates next year so I am hopping he moves out - but it will be hard on him. At least he can cook things he likes & he knows how to do laundry.

Do you charge your son rent? Talk to him & see what he is thinking.

1
37 0

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0 0

If he is not sick you are blessed, send him out on his own. If he is sick that is a different situation, help as much as you are able but try and look out for yourself......

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0 0

My son is 27 and he wont do anything. Wont get a job or do anything around the house. He gets mean also, Throws fits and yells. I want to get away from him so much. But dont know how. So I know what you mean.

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How would you handle a 32 year old that still lives with his mother? The mother in the past 5 years divorced , her son has had a drug problem in the past but has since gotten better. He works a part time job, less than 20 hours a week, her son is a convicted felon so working fast food doesn't pay enough for anyone. He states he wants to get out but without a car and insurance it is hard for him to find work. My problem she always talks down to him and they fight like children. She is perfectly content. Then she gets angry and kicks him out. First of all I don't think that's legal. He did still her credit card to buy cigarettes to pay off a debt but she she made him live on the porch no shower or anything. Then when he gets his check she demands the entire thing. The mother in courage her son to sell drugs to make money.So she gets all his money now , doesn't give him any of his paycheck but then tells him he had to get out. He is not allowed to check the mail so when his check comes in she makes him sign the check over to her. How can he save for a car or anything

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Quit giving them every damned thing that they ask for, start charging them rent and maintenance, and set a firm date that they need to be out. Your adult children need to grow up.

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Agree!

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28 years is long enough to live at home. Begin charging him rent and getting all in his personal business so that he'll want to leave home. This is also good practice for him should he have a wife someday. He's going to be responsible for rent and a woman in his personal business when he's married. You aren't doing him any favors by letting him stay at home and he can't feel good about it as a man. It's time to let him grow up and make it on his own. If you feel guilty about it, than offer to help him move out or look for another place to stay. He'll thank you for it later and so will your future daughter in law.

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I don't know. I have the same problem. My three adult sons, 26-30 years old, all live at home. One is working on a college degree and has a good job. He contributes nothing, pays no rent, doesn't help around the house, and is often in a nasty mood as he's bipolar. He spends his money on junk he orders online--though I keep telling him to save for a house.

The second, who has a college degree in art and also suffers from mental illness, recently got his first full-time job at a grocery store, but it hardly pays enough for him to support himself. He too does nothing around the house. He barely speaks to me and my husband.

The third, who suffers from depression, doesn't work and sleeps odd hours. He's lazy and spends most of his time on his computer, but he's the only one who will help with household chores--but only if asked. He does help a lot with the dogs.

My kids are all lazy. I have medical problems, and I'm getting old. I worry about what will become of them when my husband and I die. They all leave their dishes for me in the kitchen. The laundry room is always full of their stuff. The house is always a mess. It's all just too much for me to handle, and I'm very depressed about it most of the time. It's also a huge financial drain. We are facing poverty in our old age. My husband lost his job last year, and is currently working as a temp--things have been difficult for us since.

In addition to all of that, my husband and I don't get enough privacy as a couple.

However, I won't just kick them out. I know the economy is bad and our sons do suffer from mental illness. So I feel stuck. I'm hoping for a miracle.

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I have been reading all this advice and your story sounds like mine but I only have the one son living at home he is addicted to pot and video games and has anger issues.I to am waiting for a miracle . best wishes to you

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