How can I teach my toddler to not talk back?

Talking back is a common toddler offense which can frustrate even the calmest parent. What are ways to teach your toddler to be respectful and not talk back?

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15  Answers

15 27

My son never talked back until about 6 yrs old. My daughter, however, is 3 and it happens frequently. I was trying to think of creative ways to tell her that the ways she talks hurts mommy's ears. This is what I came up with. A little unorthodox, but it works. When she talks back, I have her stick out her tongue and I rub a lemon wedge across her tongue. Of course she makes a horrible face and complains about how sour it is. I then tell her that SOUR is the same way her words feel to mommy's ears. She is getting the idea.

9
4 30

We do something very similar. We use cider vinegar in a small spray bottle for our 4 and 6 year old. Change doesn't happen overnight but it worked well for our 6 year old daughter...now for our 4 year old son, that's another story. lol He's a sweet and very social, fun-loving boy, but has become a very sassy, independent and destructive one as of late...He too, is getting the idea.

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0 5

My daughter says please and thank you as well but at the same time she talks back like no tomorrow

6
11 21

lol ... I can relate ... =)

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1 54

I think, as the previous two posters pointed out that it is a stage they go through asserting their independence or showing that they have opinions too. The best way to teach them respect, politeness and courtesy is to model it for them.

6
18 33

When you find out, let me know LOL....
I think its a stage or something and Im sure our own parents were wondering the same thing. I hate that the twins talk back to me, but I do know they know their manners. When I give them something, they say please and thank you, they can ask for things, they are polite to strangers. Ive noticed that its only when Im beyond stressed or they are beyond tired/cranky when they behave like they have no common sense and back talk

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0 26

lol i have a 2 yr old daughter only child she talk's and then sometimes she ask's why ? and then i respond's with because what you did was not nice and she would say ok mommy....and the way she say's it like a 10 year who dont want to clean their room or do home work...thank god she dont do that when we go out..hope by that tiime the lemon will work if i have to use it..beasuse i all way's tell her she is a smart beautiful girl and you must all way's be a good girl..she is and she give's me alot of laught's ...

2 4

My two year old doesn't really talk back yet. He actually doesn't talk a whole lot yet. He does say some words and among them, of course, is the word 'no' which he uses frequently with us. It does get frustrating because he still doesn't communicate verbally very well. Often times he will resort to hitting because he can't seem to articulate what he is feeling or thinking. It takes a lot of patience, but he will get there. I talk to him as much as possible and read all the time. Every day he's saying new words and learning that he has an opinion and asserting his independance. I try to explain things to him in his terms and everytime he needs to be disciplined I show him that mommy still loves him, she is just sad by the way he behaved. He sits on time out and when timeout is over, I give him a big hug and kiss and gently remind him how we are supposed to behave and treat other people. We go through this several times a day but he's getting it slowly, but surely.

3
0 15

What Shawnell stated makes the most sense to me with my bright, vivacious 3 year old. I think each parent has to do what they feel is best. I do see merit in the "lemon or cider vinegar" approach as well. I believe we have to discipline our kids, but that it should be done in love because kids can tell when you discipline in anger and that has the lasting, negative effects. Along the same lines, I struggle with teaching my 3 year old compassion, it's like he already knows how to avoid an issue or discipline and he's only 3. I tell him his actions have made mommy sad or hurt people's feelings. He seems to get it at the moment, but then we have to give the same lesson the next day or else a few days later...it's definately not a 1 time thing. I'd welcome other approaches on how to teach kids compassion as well. Thanks.

3
0 5

By being polite,teaching them respect and always end your statement with a corfimation that you both understand what you just both. Discussed

3
0 41

wow..i guess this makes me the mean mom but i put chili pepper water in her mouth just a small amount..or ill flick her mounth..she hardly talks back to me shes sweet an helpful an very independent but its when she hangs out an plays with her cousins is when she cups an attitude with me an then i gotta do an attitude adjustment..

2
67 2

maybe it her cousin that needs that auttiud adjusment .she just coppying what she heard ,.i think it mean to do what you are doing ..maybe try to ingore her when she say it if she dosent any att good or bad from you it will stop after awhile

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0 14

My son is 5 years old, yes he talks back sometimes, I have been working very hard on this. My tricks are be consistent in your plan what ever it may be. I'm a single mom I struggle even more because he picks up bad language from his father. Basically I have come to a point where no matter how busy I am with juggling everything, I stop what I'm doing for 5 minutes and we go have a talk. Other times it's leaving one activity (early) to do another and standing firm on explaining exactly why it happened remind them often. nothing is perfect but if all else fails I try reading a book or laying down for 5 minutes to let them calm down. I hope this helps, I welcome any other tips. Hitting/spanking is NOT an option!!!

2
0 63

My son is 3, and he repeats words and sentences that i have said to him like " you dont tell me no" and when i tell him no he says that right back to me. Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with that? Do i tell him that i can tell him no but he cant tell me no (when hes doing something wrong of course) (which is what i have been doing but it doesnt seem to work.) Or do i ignore it?

2
0 26

my 2 year does the same sometimes and i wonder if i am the child and she is punishing me...

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0 0

Tell them to stop. Punish them for it. You're the boss, act like it. My son is 5 and has said a couple of things he shouldn't have over the years. He was corrected swiftly and firmly and that was the last time he did it. If he says something I don't like that he wouldn't have known not to say (like something he heard from someone else) I say, "We don't say that" very firmly. That way he knows it is not allowed and if he says it again he will be punished. We were in the grocery store and two of the workers were talking. One of them said "he's so stupid" and my son said "We don't say that!" I had to explain that sometimes grown ups say things and it isn't his job to correct them, but I thought it was funny.
Usually I just think about what would have happened when I was his age and how I was allowed to speak to my elders, and that is how I teach him. Picture what your grandparents or other older people would do and how they expected you to behave and learn from that. Just because it is now common for people to let their kids misbehave doesn't mean it's right. Don't settle for what is average and common. Expect better.

1
0 32

I have a very sweet, compassionate 5 year old daughter who is stubborn and sassy as well. Because she is so sensitive to other's feelings, I've found that by telling her how much she has hurt Mommy's feelings seems to impact her and I get a sincere apology. The problem for me is teaching her to not say these things in the first place. If she says them and is called on it, she is remorseful. It just doesn't stick. Any ideas?

Interestingly enough, when she was little, she would take a lemon and bite it. She would make a sour face and throw it down saying, "Yucky!", but she would pick it up moments later and repeat this.

1
18 23

That's a tough one because my two year old talks back all the time. I think it's just a stage that their going through.

1
18 23

I just read that we have to model and teach them respect and how to be polite. My two year old is very bright and he does say thank you and please. We should be steering them in the right direction that's true but they also do go through stages just like I said before. I do teach my son respect. He also says sorry when he knows that he did something wrong. We just have to know the difference of going through a stage and a child being smart. I can see if we were talking about teens but we're talking about toddlers here. They will get it eventually when they understand the difference of talking back. I see too many parent's talking to their toddlers as if they will wake up and remember that you told them not to talk back or be nice to your friend. That's something we'll be repeating everyday for a very long time until they understand the concept about talking back to elders.

0 34

My 2 year old turning 3 end of August is the Master of Talking back, its so frustrating and stressful especailly after a long day at work, this is an area that i need alot of help in, i dont have answers for anyone here lol, But im very interested in what people have to share, my sons favourite words at the moment are, "your not my friend mummy" and its worse when we are out in public, so i need alot of help here.

0
3 26

My 5yr old has me driven demented with her back-talk these days...I try not to engage her when she starts to get rude and cheeky, but it can be difficult to stay patient.

Our one is french mustard, and she HATES it.

On saying that, she is a well mannered child. Always saying please, thank you, excuse me...but I guess this is just another phase!

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