How can you help your child through their first heartbreak?

Going through any break up can be tough, especially your first one. How can you best support your child as they are dealing with their first taste of heartbreak?

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10  Answers

577 5

Just be there for them. Let them know your willing to listen if they want to talk and most important give them space to deal with it. X

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13 1

tell them your heartbreak story and let them know there are "plenty of fish" in the sea. :)

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1 12

I would drop any expression like "plenty of fish in the sea / pebbles on the beach" I remember my mother saying that to me and then feeling even worse and more isolated in my sorrow.

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151 21

my son was a mess, so depressed, he would talk and cry for hours, and all i could do was listen and offer a shoulder.... i had to keep reminding him to continue with his personal goals, but also i told him that it was ok to be upset, it took him a few months to pass through it...

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4 13

I suggest Hagen Daz Ice cream and a sappy movie that you can watch together. Make sure it's a happy ending. And then just one day at a time. It's tough, but we all go through it at some point. You can't make it easier, other than being there for them. Honest and true.

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4 0

My son,
When I had my first heartbreaking situation at 19 years old, I wish I had had a Mom or a big sister to tell me the things I am going to tell you.
I can feel what you are feeling, my dear son. When Edgar stopped writing me letters (he did it very often) I cannot say I cried a lot, but I did feel sad for a few weeks. I loved that guy so much. I can say he was the love of my life (he was 21 when we met and I was 19 – Love at first sight). He lived in Bogotá and I lived in Cali. He went to visit me every time he could and I enjoyed it to the fullest. It lasted only like 7 months, but it was a happy short time. He was extremely jealous of every man that looked at me. This is the part I did not like at all and that worried me. Maybe it was the reason why I could forget fast and easy. But, son, when it hurt, it did hurt. God! I woke up every day thinking that the mail boy would have a letter for me in any moment. Studying helped me so much too. I needed to concentrate on other things to help myself forget.
By thinking about the things that did not go well can help, son. Edgar would have made me very unhappy and viceversa. I was not that jealous, but I was/am too demanding of the man I share my life with.
It is hard to understand and accept it now that is so recent, son. I know. Please, do not make the big mistake of expecting for a reconciliation or a make-up. If it happens, nice. It should be a good surprise, but what if it doesn’t?
Almost the same thing happened with Ricardo in Bogotá. He had a girlfriend and was afraid of hurting her if he broke up with her after a 6-year relationship at that time. I felt he loved me too, but his love was not strong enough and I realized it was not healthy to “beg” for love or to make him leave everything for me. No. That is not the way love should be. You give or receive love. True love. You do not beg for love. Love is spontaneous and free.Son, I am begging God to give you peace in your heart. Although, we all learn...

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0 0

I listened, he cried, I listened........I feel so bad for him, I told him that everyone goes through it and it's suppose to hurt. You just feel so helpless.

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268 33

my eldest had a coupel of heart breaks when he was 15 and 17. His first one, was his first proper gf and so had journied into adulthood with her. It was a bad time for him and i understood how he felt. his second one wasafter a gf of 12 months. and he thought would never get another gf like her. both times was just beig htere, listening and loads of tlc when required and loads of tears and hug

268 33

help the thru it but give them distance so they can deal with things but know you are there
many a time give advice and tlc to my boys in the heartbreaks with girls

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116 7

I think the best thing is to try and start while they are in the relaitonship encourageing them to continue to see their friends with out the girlfriend/boyfriend. But if that fails tell them to try and reconnect with friends. Listen to them, and let them talk, let them know the heart break is normal and it is okay to grieve but they need to move on in their own life. We all have had to grieve loss, in break up and in death (the grieving process is not much different) but moving on is what brings us back. My son and his girlfriend just broke up last night, they were talking marriage, he has not spoken a word but I have told him and txt him that I am here to talk if he wants too. I know he was with friends yesterday. I also think it is okay to point out a few flaws but be careful to say that you liked the person you just had concerns about this or that behaviour. I plan to take the opportunity when the time is right to say, "We tried to point out the characteristics that bothered us but you took that as we did not like her. For future everyone has flaws and we don't want you to break up, but know about the flaws we see and know how you are going to handle them" I may take examples with my own friends and husband. "When you love someone you accept them with their flaws and they accept you with your flaws. You just have to have a way to deal with them personnally"

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1 12

By listening. Sitting down with your child and focussing your entire attention on what they're saying, empathize using body language (nodding head in agreement, for example.) Avoid trivializing their situation - making it seem unimportant. Let them cry as much as they need to.

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18 12

I just commiserated with her and tried to let her express her disappointment and hurt. I would not recommend this, but I also told her something about some of the reservations which her father and I had had about the young man - pointing out a few of his failings to which she had been blind. She did feel duped because he had presented himself as someone who he was not. That became obvious to her in the manner in which he broke things off. So she was feeling somewhat stupid and betrayed as well as rejected. I just characterized the young man as a "wienie." She still considers him a friend but is much more wary about him.

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