How can you help your child through their first heartbreak?

Going through any break up can be tough, especially your first one. How can you best support your child as they are dealing with their first taste of heartbreak?

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9  Answers

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By Debi Johnson

- Posted on Feb 8, 2012

tell them your heartbreak story and let them know there are "plenty of fish" in the sea. :)

  • Alexandra - commented on Feb 8, 2012

    I would drop any expression like "plenty of fish in the sea / pebbles on the beach" I remember my mother saying that to me and then feeling even worse and more isolated in my sorrow.

  • Sarah - commented on May 20, 2012

    i used those expressions with my eldest after his first and second heartbreak. both times he went on the rebound and caused heartbreak for one other girl. think with boys it can be more physical side of releationship breakup that hurts. confidence is knocked, and one of his break ups was telling some crap stuff about him. which knocked him down. One of my firneds gave him some lectures as it were to boost his confidence

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By Alexis Hill

- Posted on Feb 7, 2012

my son was a mess, so depressed, he would talk and cry for hours, and all i could do was listen and offer a shoulder.... i had to keep reminding him to continue with his personal goals, but also i told him that it was ok to be upset, it took him a few months to pass through it...

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By Sally Marshall

- Posted on Feb 7, 2012

Just be there for them. Let them know your willing to listen if they want to talk and most important give them space to deal with it. X

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By Patty Thompson

- Posted on Feb 7, 2012

I suggest Hagen Daz Ice cream and a sappy movie that you can watch together. Make sure it's a happy ending. And then just one day at a time. It's tough, but we all go through it at some point. You can't make it easier, other than being there for them. Honest and true.

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By pamela martin

- Posted on Jul 16, 2012

I listened, he cried, I listened........I feel so bad for him, I told him that everyone goes through it and it's suppose to hurt. You just feel so helpless.

  • Sarah - commented on Jul 16, 2012

    my eldest had a coupel of heart breaks when he was 15 and 17. His first one, was his first proper gf and so had journied into adulthood with her. It was a bad time for him and i understood how he felt. his second one wasafter a gf of 12 months. and he thought would never get another gf like her. both times was just beig htere, listening and loads of tlc when required and loads of tears and hug

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By sarah

- Posted on May 20, 2012

help the thru it but give them distance so they can deal with things but know you are there
many a time give advice and tlc to my boys in the heartbreaks with girls

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By Anne Marie McMillan

- Posted on Feb 9, 2012

I think the best thing is to try and start while they are in the relaitonship encourageing them to continue to see their friends with out the girlfriend/boyfriend. But if that fails tell them to try and reconnect with friends. Listen to them, and let them talk, let them know the heart break is normal and it is okay to grieve but they need to move on in their own life. We all have had to grieve loss, in break up and in death (the grieving process is not much different) but moving on is what brings us back. My son and his girlfriend just broke up last night, they were talking marriage, he has not spoken a word but I have told him and txt him that I am here to talk if he wants too. I know he was with friends yesterday. I also think it is okay to point out a few flaws but be careful to say that you liked the person you just had concerns about this or that behaviour. I plan to take the opportunity when the time is right to say, "We tried to point out the characteristics that bothered us but you took that as we did not like her. For future everyone has flaws and we don't want you to break up, but know about the flaws we see and know how you are going to handle them" I may take examples with my own friends and husband. "When you love someone you accept them with their flaws and they accept you with your flaws. You just have to have a way to deal with them personnally"

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By Alexandra Carton

- Posted on Feb 8, 2012

By listening. Sitting down with your child and focussing your entire attention on what they're saying, empathize using body language (nodding head in agreement, for example.) Avoid trivializing their situation - making it seem unimportant. Let them cry as much as they need to.

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By NJ Carlile

- Posted on Feb 8, 2012

I just commiserated with her and tried to let her express her disappointment and hurt. I would not recommend this, but I also told her something about some of the reservations which her father and I had had about the young man - pointing out a few of his failings to which she had been blind. She did feel duped because he had presented himself as someone who he was not. That became obvious to her in the manner in which he broke things off. So she was feeling somewhat stupid and betrayed as well as rejected. I just characterized the young man as a "wienie." She still considers him a friend but is much more wary about him.

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