Would you allow your 18 year old to live on their own when they are in their first year in community college?
Moving to a new town can be very stressful for a child. What are ways to make the transition as smooth as possible for your kids?
As a seasoned military veteran and wife, I have heard many different ideas as to how to make things easier on the children when you move. Saying "you will make new friends" is not usually the most comforting thing to most school aged or older children, especially those who struggle with new people and the "pecking order". Talking about change, sometimes just listening without talking is all some children need to get through their fears. I always tried to keep at least one thing constant at every house, for us it was planting morning glories in the front yard which helped my daughter (who is now 5) feel at home through her toddler and preschool years. I also held off for a few weeks on redecorating her bathroom and bedroom decor so it looked like home from the start. I did also plan ahead to find age appropriate activities that would put her in situations where she could meet children her age (like Vacation Bible School or dance class) where she would not be the new kid per say. Also, keep your rituals, even when you really want to keep unpacking (like the bed time story). A house is where you live but a home is where you are loved and cared for.
Actually, we moved just 4 days ago, so I'm right on this subject. I have a 2 year old son, who loves books and so we read some books with him about moving. That helped him understand what was going to happen, and we talked about the move a lot for several weeks before actually moving. On the weekend of the move, he stayed with his grandmother, and he only came to the new place once his bedroom was all in place.
I think it has a lot to do with the age of the children. I agree it's best to try to keep their room and surroundings as close to possible and give them that comfort no matter what the age. But if they're older I think it's easier to talk with them and let them vent their feelings and do your best to be honest and explain, but also just be there to listen to their concerns. I'm in the process of moving with my 12 yr. old daughter and I've found just validating her feelings and concerns has helped the most. Trying to point out the positives and do my best to make it a positive transaction.