How do l get my child to lose weight without hurting her feelings?

The problem of obesity in children has been highlighted for many years. How can a mom help her child lose weight in a healthy way without making her child feel bad?

40  Answers

13 2

As someone who has struggled with my weight since I hit puberty let me share some suggestions of what not to do first.
First dont compare her to ANYONE else, not her peers, not her siblings, and especially not the people in the magazines, this will add to body image issues and will either have her hyperfocus on her image, and develop an eating disorder OR cause her to eat more... which is also an eating disorder
Second, dont give her the lectures on how being fat (or any other choice of words with the same meaning) is bad for her health and can cause problems later in life, if she is old enough to understand this, then she has heard it before, and if she hasnt then fear can cause anxieties, thus triggering aforementioned eating disorders.
Third. Dont withhold the foods, or hide them, or remove them from the house entirely. Everything in moderation. If your household becomes "Junk free" then she wont know how to moderate it in the "real world" and will either learn to hide or horde it, and wont learn the meaning of moderation.
Portion Control is the best way to start. do it gradually, as it will take time for her stomach to shrink. have some fruits and veggies on hand for healthy snacks, and have that "junk" for an after dinner treat. if she knows she has one treat coming her way in a day, and that one treat in a day is for example her "reward" (bad word choice but I coudlnt find another) for healthy eating and more specifically not over eating during the day, it shows her that these things arent necessarily a bad thing, but again, moderation.
Watch the processed food intake. we all use them for convenience, fast pastas (KD, zoodles etc) when we are running out of time, but we dont realize that it isnt just those that are harmful. I have recently started losing weight, for the first time in 15 years I am out of plus sizes (YAY ME!) I still have some work left to do, but I am doing it carefully. I only eat pasta once a week, maybe twice a week. I try not to eat white breads. I drink LOTS of water (crystal light singles are a great purse idea if she doesnt like the taste of plain water) Increase her fibre intake. I didnt realize how much my system was withholding until I ate oatmeal chocolate chip muffins every morning for 2 weeks, and lost an entire "dress" size (went from an 18w to a 16w!)
And like many others, make sure that there isnt something causing her to be gaining/holding her weight. One thing to not discount is the vicious circle of depression. Teen girls are more susceptible to it, and they MAY not show the traditional signs!! I was a happy, perky teenage girl, on the outside. Had a boyfriend on the football team, even was a cheerleader for my last year. Inside everything was different. I suffered an anxiety disorder I didnt know about then, and was a closet cutter. I hated my weight, but was a compulsive & comfort eater, especially when I was upset. Teenage girls can be terribly vicious more so now than when we were growing up, so the other thing is make yourself available to her, without prying try to know what is going on in her life, is she being bullied or teased in school? (even if she isnt a teen, these things start young now, as early as grade 2 or 3!) and if she is overweight, she will be the kid EVERYONE picks on, adding to the need to comfort eat, because ice cream is always our friend, right? give her someone to talk to, or something that she can get it all out in like a journal. If she needs help getting that started, maybe give her a question every day that she can write about until she feels comfortable using it, not necessarily about the bad stuff. My favourite, and go to question is, what was the best thing that happened to me today, and what do I wish I could change? she might find that after a few days of using 1-2 sentence answers, those sentences turn to paragraphs, and then pages from a single entry.
Most of all be positive, and encouraging, and supportive. When she does good, reward it with something like a new pair of jeans in a smaller size (if she is at an age where that matters to her.. my 8 year old LOVES shopping, so that for her is an excellent reward for anything) even if they come from a thrift shop ( remember these ones are already broken in, and comfortable, and sometimes have the greatest designs and styling done on them, especially the kids stuff!) because you may find that if her clothes are too big, that is rewarding for her yes, but also uncomfortable, and she may stop trying just so she doesnt have to keep pulling up her pants every 5 minutes!
I hope some of what I have said helps. A lot of it may have seemed like rambling, but trust me when I say, all of these things are important, and might even be important to your daughter. Talk to her, without judging, to see if there is a reason she knows that she is a little bigger... you might be surprised at the answer... and if all else fails and you can't talk to her, or she isnt ready to talk to you, a counsellor might help her work through any emotional issues she might have that may be contributing. Good Luck!

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13 2

One thing I forgot to add, if you are finding that a lot of it is an anxiety thing, or as a result of comfort eating, maybe have that one "treat" be an after school snack instead of an after dinner snack. Not to encourage her to comfort eat, but because especially chocolate releases endorphins that can improve the mood, if she is coming home anxious or depressed over the days events, one fat free chocolate pudding (hunts and Jell-o make amazing ones) is better for her than even a plate full of carrots and celery even with fat free dip... because everything in moderation too much of even the good foods can be bad for us.

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31 22

To do this easily, or at least kind of easily, you need to take a three fold approach. 1. As a family, get moving! Whether it's long walks, riding bikes, joining a team, swimming, it doesn't matter, but it needs to be a part of your daily routine. 2. Have her help you research recipies & cook your meals-go to a farmers' market & see what meals you can make from what's in season. Have her see that it's a whole process. 3. Clear your house of junky foods-everyone should be eating healthy foods. If she's hungry, and the only snacks to be had are fruits & veggies, you'll find her eating a carrot or apple instead of potato chips.

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I'm in this tag on box for some reason.. where is the original one... anyway. I think the biggest issue here is 'the elephant in the room'. So many people are saying, ignore the elephant, shove the elephant out of the room, don't tell the elephant its an elephant. Let's shrink this problem down and remove the emotions. Whew. Facts are healthy foods are good for you and in moderation everything is okay. The emotions behind the overeating for everyone here is the issue at hand. Obesity or overweight is the symptom of an emotional cause - not enough love, attention, acceptance. etc etc. Talk to this young girl as a human being and ask her how she feels about herself. Get to the root of the problem. Comfort her, console her, console each other. This doesnt need to be a magnificent problem. Stimulate her interests in other areas and teach her to nurture her health and well being.

4 12

I would not worry about the physical thing as of right now. You know if she is eating right and getting enough activity. You also know if she is eating for comfort, which is the big one to watch out for. If she is eating for comfort, she is not going to recognize being full or satified as "normal' eaters would. People who eat for comfort are filling a void or hole. There is something that taught her to eat to cover her feelings. I would start by talking more and expressing feelings and love more. This along with changing eating habits and teaching the whole family the HALT rules. HALT is when you ask yourself if you are actually Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. These are the four reasons people eat. Of course if it is not the first, then you should eat something. If she learns this now, it will help her through a lifetime. Also if she is just hitting puberty all of the weight issues(chunkiness) will flatten out(no pun intended). I only wish my parents had known these things when I was young and saved me my adulthood trying to relearn how to have a healthy relationship with food. I wish you and your daughter the best.

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The first thing to do is take her for a total check up with the doctor...make sure there are no physical reasons for being overweight...thyroid problems in pre-teens and early teens is not all that unusual....nor is diabetes. If there are no physical reasons for the extra pounds, then start with a healthy, nutrious diet you can use for the whole family. If everyone is eating the same, it is much easier to help the child and not hurt her feelings.

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I am raising my grandson and he's 10 and is over weight, at his last check up I exspressed my concern to his dr. and he said kids grow tall, then round, then tall again and it goes like that for several years, and he said if I still had concerns at his this year check up, we would discuss a diet plan, so I agree with you about the check up. He is not as active as I would like him to be, but that is mostly my fault. I'm 50 years old and have really a lot of running to do helping my sisters and my kids and other grandchildren, I myself need to looseweight, because I am not getting any younger, so I'm going to wait and see what the dr say's in July and go from there,

831 16

I struggled with anorexia for years in highschool and it took me over a year of therapy with a nutritionist and family psychologist to help me finally become healthy. After about a year I ended up 15 pounds overweight, and then once I focused on being HEALTHY rather than just focusing on FOOD I am right now what I consider my perfect weight, smack dab in the middle of my perfect BMI and have maintained the same weight for six years (except when I got pregnant, but then I returned to my regular weight within 7 months)

I was very concerned about passing on my former unhealthy relationship with food to my daughter, so my advice would be this: DON'T FOCUS ON FOOD, FOCUS ON BEING HEALTHY! Don't describe particular foods as "good" or "bad." Broccoli isn't "good" and chocolate isn't "bad." Focus on what the nutritional benefit of foods are. Say "This has a lot of protein and we need protein for our nails and hair and muscles," or "This has lots of vitamins."

Come up with great out door physical activities, take them swimming, take them to the park or playground. If they are too old for that, ask if they'd be interested in joining an organization that meets regularly and offers opportunities for regular physical activity, tee-ball, soft-ball, soccer, tennis, football anything! Even girl scouts offers opportunities to get moving, hiking, camping, etc.

The thing is... don't focus on WEIGHT. Weight is not the issue. Health is the issue. You don't want your kid to be skinny so they can fit in and look good in clothes - that is not the message you want to give your children! You want them to be HEALTHY and that means eating food that fuels their body and staying physically active. You are the best person to set an example for you children, so offer snacks with nutritional value, and give them plenty of opportunities to move around. Pick up a basketball yourself! They might just follow you!

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Are you serious? Why say anything to a child about their weight? There is no nice way to tell anyone they are fat. Instead, you make healthy meals with smaller portions and then fruit or veggie snacks for when they get hungry.

Get rid of the potato chips, candy, sugar laden juices, soda and let them drink water or make your own lemonade.

But, nothing you do in food changes will matter if you don't make changes in the amount of activity she has. Kids need to get away from the TV and out to play. Sports are great. Anything to get them moving and motivated.

Do not take them to McDonalds. The food is crap and there is not enough nutritional value for all the fat, salt and sugar they get. Eat at home where you have more control over what they eat.

You are the parent - take charge of what they eat. You have all the control in the world to have them eat healthy.

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i completely agree with you. I have a 5yr old and a 3 yr old who are almost the same size. My 3yr old is 2 inches shorter than her sister and 4lbs heavier. I would never even think to tell her she is "FAT" or anything of the sort. The doctor has told me repeatedly that she is overweight but that as long as she grows in height it is ok for her to stay the same weight. She is 3yrs old and weights 50lbs. But she is also taller than any 3yr old i have ever seen. I dont buy any form of junk food to begin with. People need to realize that it isnt necessarily the junk food. It could be too much meat or too much pasta. They need to start looking at the foods they cook rather than that cup of chocolate milk in the morning. Great advice Collette

2 14

Everyone's answers are great. Besides all of the great advice for diet, exercise and making sure that there is nothing physically wrong, I always suggest love. Hug your child and let them know they are special and that you love them just the way they are. Spend quality time together and build in fun activities that take the mind off of food instead of making food the fun activity (take pet for a walk, ride bikes, explore the neighborhood, lay on a hammock outside, miniature golf, swimming, dancing to music, etc.). Live by example. Your kids will see what you are doing to keep or get yourself healthy, so join in.

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Terrific suggestions! We've had great success with a product that addresses children's special nutritional needs and brings balance to the body. It's gluten free, organic, tastes great and for most children (and adults too) curbs those cravings we get when our body is missing something nutritionally. That's where cravings come from. We order it at http://www.WeDoItForTheKIDS.com . I am on a mission to stop obesity too.

8 24

I have been thinking of this subject lately. I agree with Jeannie in that you want to rule out any physical reasons her body may be carrying a few pounds. Another thing is to possibly go to a Naturopath to have blood tested for allergies and intolerances. I did the latter myself and found out that I was very intolerant to pineapple, asparagus, gluten and dairy. I also did some reading "Eat Right for Your Blood Type". It works for about 50% of the population and happen to work well for me. Even though I was eating "right" and healthy I was carrying extra weight because I was not eating what My body needed to be healthy. One example - Coconut makes me tired, lethargic and weak for a couple of days after eating it. Never would have put the two together until I read the book. There is not one nutritious meal plan that works for everyone. After finding out those things - get her moving! Find something she can enjoy with family. But really, true motivation has to come from within.

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Lead by example. Begin by only buying healthy foods and snacks for the home. You eat well and your family will too. Exercise on a daily or semi-daily basis, get active, and do it in front of your kids. Watch less TV and play less video games. Get outside and go on adventures in nature. Your children will pick up your good habits and you won't even have to lecture them. Good luck!

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The term "get my child to" is right away problematic, and it shows that you feel that this in your control. My mom used to put me on diets, and make remarks about how much my (ever so slight) chubbiness bothered her. She even took me to a doctor when I was about 12, and the doctor said, "don't even worry about it". I'm pretty slim now, but I've struggled with compulsive eating, yo-yo dieting, and feeling ashamed of myself for almost as long as I can remember (say since age 9 or 10) all because my mom couldn't handle that I had a couple extra pounds. It has taken me therapy, spiritual awakenings, and Overeaters Anonymous to get over the few hurtful things she said to me, and the fact that she was constantly judging my body (even if she didn't say anything, I knew what she thought).

So then my own 12 year old started to pack on a couple pounds when she was 10 or 11. I found myself worrying about it. I had to address that problem in my own soul. I started to focus on my own health and working out and eating well, and I also focussed on remember how beautiful my daughter is regardless of her size. And, most importantly, I focussed on remembering that I control myself and not her. I do remind her from time to time that if she eats mindlessly and too much that she will not be happy with herself probably. (She is a book worm and likes to mindlessly munch while reading). She is logical enough to get that information, but I always remind her how perfect and beautiful she is in every way (but I had to get to that point of acceptance of her).

Then my mom mentioned that my daughter was getting "heavy" and "needed more exercise" about a year ago, and I told her, in no uncertain terms, "SHE IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND PERFECT, AND I FORBID YOU TO EVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HER WEIGHT AGAIN". She was taken aback, but fortunately, the timing was right, and she let it lie without a lot of defensiveness.

I'm also happy to report that now she's 12 and a half and she has taken it upon herself to make healthier choices, and she is slimming down.

I just caution you to tread lightly, look inside yourself for the reasons that this bothers you, and remember to tell her how beautiful she is.

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motivate him or her go to the gym ,even if you the parent have to go with him, anyway everybody need to be in shape and healthy, no matter how , couse is your life and your child life , God give us the body to nurshing and take care, so imagine how we the parent can do for our own childrens and youngs adults , we want them healthys and around for many years to come , try to encorage them to eat more fruit , drink more water,salads , veggies, meat, and do not eat to much out , try to eat at home at least until they got the weight they want and maybe once a blue moon out, so they can see the differents in control the own old habits and keeping tell them the you really proud of the big steps they doing.and the well they maintaining.I really Proud the my own son; the he is trying so hard to be in shape and healthy, you are so awesome baby, I know is not easy but you can do it .you have the courage!!!!!

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First you limit the availability of unhealthy and sugary snacks in your house. Just don't buy them. Then you ask her to join you in beginning some exercise time each day. You can say that it's more for you than for her, but that you need her to help you by joining you. Put the emphasis on YOUR need for exercise for better health if not weight loss. She will still reap the benefits.

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Tell your child every day how pretty she is. style her hair hug her and make sure she knows she's beautiful. Then play. Go to the park, play ball climb the playground equipment play chase, throw a football, throw a baseball, tickle, giggle, love. That is what your child needs. Her weight should not be your focus some people are big and some are small. but if you are active and playing your child will get healthy both physically and emotionally.
I have always been and will always be a big person. I topped 100 pounds before i was ten and i am 300 pounds now. but let me tell you i have no doubt how pretty I am both inside and out. I have been told almost daily for 37 years. By my parents and now by my husband. I can play with my girls and do all the time. My daughters and my husband and I play together all the time whether it is in the yard throwing a ball or on the baseball diamond hitting a ball and fielding the ball. Or going for walks and hikes. I can run jump rope play basketball, football, base ball, i can swim and hike for miles my weight does not inhibit me at all. so in conclusion maybe your daughter will always be fat. It i up to you to make sure she kows that her weight does not lessen her worth or her beauty not even a little bit. LOVE that girl and help her Love herself as well. That is worth more than Making her lose weight to be "NORMAL".
Normal is overrated anyway. Unique is much better!

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Don't put the focus on your child. He/she did not get overweight on their own. The entire family needs to eat healthier that way he/she is not singled out and everyone will be healthier. Start by making healthy yummy foods for the entire family. IE Bake instead of frying, steam instead of boiling. Don't keep processed snacks in the home that way no one is tempted . Offer fresh fruit for snacks. Water and milk should be the main drinks throughout the day. Limit juice to one 8oz serving a day and water it down. I usually only give 3oz of juice to 5 oz of water. Do not keep cookies, soda, candy, etc in the home. This will help keep it out of sight and out of mind. They say it takes about 40 days to change ones habits. It took me about 20 days, everyone is different so be patient. Don't offer dessert. Cake and ice cream should be limited to birthdays and parties only. Once everyone is use to eating healthier and not complaining about it, congratulations you are all eating healthier now and weight loss will come naturally.

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Promote health and eating healthly foods to feel good, live long, be healthy. And increased activity for healthy heart and lungs. Never focus or mention clothing size or numbers on the scale.

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You change the families eating habits and activities! Educate yourself on great eating habits and you practice them as a family and as a family to do active activities!

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12 19

I would suggest that you do a Family Health Kick.

Start cooking healthy, low fat, low glycemic, low carb (possibly gluten-free) foods and do it as a family project.

Start an exercise program - like walking or biking or swimming. Something the whole family can do together. Or even do a Wii Olympics - I do tennis, skiing, bowling with my kids and we have little competitions. I have Chronic Neuropathic Pain - so I am limited in what I can do - but still want to be active.

We don't concentrate on scales - as I was a size 4 all my life and with this illness I am a 16 but getting smaller now Gluten Free. And we have all worked together to be positive with each other and not critical.

Setting an example of healthy living is the best way to do it. Get rid of all the JUNK and No TAKE OUT and shop, cook together and make it a fun and exciting new family activity. That will give her positive self esteem, acceptance and skills to live a healthy life.

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This is the best advice I have seen here besides spending quality time with your kids away from food. I agree that building healthy activities into your daily life, like cooking healthy meals together, (and making them fun) is the key. I want my girls to have healthy productive lives and will incorporate your tips. Thanks!

7 27

you have to lead by exsample, you show her by doing it together, eatting healthier, walking together, bike riding and just show her/him. that together u both can lead a healthier way of life, and its not a diet it will b a way of life. One the whole family can do together. If anything her/him will feel more love when its done together, but in a fun way.

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I have been battling this with my own daughter, but she is only 4 1/2. It's really hard to be told by the doctor that your child is the height of a 6 1/2 year old, but weighs that of a 8 1/2 year old. She doesn't look fat, just bigger than all the kids her age. My mom was an overweight child, my husband was as well and is still heavier then someone should be even at 6ft 4in, and I didn't lose my baby fat until I was in ninth grade. So my poor kid has a lot going against her. She eats lots of good fruits and veggies, protein and dairy, but she loves sugar. She likes cookies and ice cream, so I've started by giving her sugar free ice cream and lower in fat, sugar free cookies and reduce her juice intake. We now don't let her snack or graze so to speak, and serve her meals that have protein, veggie and a grain if possible. If she doesn't finish what's on her plate, she can't have that special sugar free and low in fat treat.
Now I did things differently, I was straight with her about her health. I explained that the doctor was concerned about her and that she needed to cut back on the sugar and fat or else she would end up getting to unhealthy to do the things she loves, like dance, gymnastics and swimming. She understood really well and immediately started asking about the ingredients in her food. She often asks, does that have sugar or how much sugar does that have. I am trying to set her up for success with eating, so she knows what's in her food and what good food choices are. Now we are doing this lifestyle change as a family. We are all eating healthier and cutting down on the sugar and fat!!
Good luck. Hope this helps a little.

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831 16

I would avoid the "sugar free" route because artificial sweeteners haven't been adequately tested, particularly when it comes to their effect on a growing body. I would suggest offering smaller portions of regular food, instead of offering her "diet" food. Also, often the case with "sugar free" or "low sugar" or "low fat" is it is less satisfying so people usually end up consuming TWICE the amount of calories, even if it's less sugar. Sugar doesn't make you fat, calories do. Instead of buying low-sugar, I would just measure what she's getting of the regular stuff and give her smaller portions.

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from someone who has dealt with weight issues my whole life, I agree with both Elizabeth and Nicole. As a mother of four children ranging in ages from 8-20 y.o. I say take the junk food out of the house, refuse to buy it, never give soda and become a health aware family, maybe approach it fromm a 'lets see how many Dr.co-pays' we can save throughout the year while eating healthy. I make small goals for our family, like if we are going to the Drive in movies, my goal would be to not buy junk food high in calories, but to make and take healthy snacks with us. I wish you the best of health and happiness, KEEP IT POSITIVE!

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Living by example is always the best way to influence children. Limit television, because it's stuffed with fattening marketing for junk food of all kinds that their bodies don't need. Limit fast food excursions, because it's stuffed with fattening, non-nourishing ingredients that their bodies don't need. Eat plenty of fresh fruits, vegetables and grains everyday. Supplement with a little bit of protein and dairy if you do those things. Pack her lunch and make it so yummy, she couldn't eat anything else! Make sure she doesn't take money with her to school, so vending machines aren't a temptation. Prepare nourishing, tasty meals from wholesome ingredients. Avoid prepared foods like the plague. A good rule of thumb is to only shop the perimeter of the grocery store for your food items. Stay out of those aisles! Make sure the family keeps moving and doesn't sit around (again, limit television). Put out a plate of carrots and celery for snack time. Serve fruit for dessert with a little bit of frozen yogurt. Take some cooking classes together focused on healthy recipies. Have fun! Don't put it on her. Say, "This family needs to get in shape! Let's go!" Then do it! It also never hurts to consult with your family physician or naturopath (sometimes gives you great complementary advice to a traditional doc!) to make sure there isn't something else going on.

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I NEED HELP. My daughter is my love. We are always bumping heads. Everything, I say is wrong. I probably haven't always used the right choice of words to let her know that she need to loose weight. She is a kind, good hearted kid. She gets good grades and has good friends. KIDS can be cruel and she has a pretty good aditude towards thing but I know she hurts inside cause some kids make fun of her weight. She is beautiful and I tell her so. I did take her to the doctors and she has high cholesterol , high trigylisirites, and high liver enzymes. I have had talks with her and really don't eat fast food. We cook mostly healthy MOSTLY. I say she should eat and even treat her self. I tell her moderation but it don't work she fights me with everything...I'm the bad guy here always. I ask her to talk to someone and she said she won't and don't want to she feels there is no problem but on the other hand is always contradicting. I'm worried for her. I don't need her to be a stick just healthy and happy. Help Please. I'm afraid she is secretly unhappy more then happy.

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Change the food you're cooking. Help him/her diet without them knowing. Also help him/her find a more "athletic" hobby. My advice could be more specific if i knew the age and sex of the child in question.

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hi I have a 5 year old boy who is over weight and I don't know what to do for the best he is on medication for epilepsy really could do with some helpful advice pleaseeeeee

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you could try fo r breckfast a bowl of whole grain ceral and fruit for lunch an sandwich with salad .dinner chiken and salad snack fruit or some juice treats choclate or sweets .

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I will go to the inter net and find out away

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8 30

This is very difficult to do. I have a 10 yo daughter who is very sensitive and wants to lose weight, but admits to "being lazy". I encourage her to do things with me and to play the WII fit games and to walk on our treadmill, but that lasts one day and then she is done. She does gymnastics 1 day a week for almost 2 hours but has no stamina. I would love to help her, but don't know where to begin.

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I would suggest finding fun exercises to do with your child. Start hiking and biking with your child. Spend half an hour a day doing wii dance with your child...you'll laugh together and get exercise at the same time. Nintendo Wii Console with Just Dance 3 <img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=bravandgrac-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B006MBJF16" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" />
Definitely spend more time together doing fun things that provide exercise...walk, hike, skip, jump rope, dance! You will both benefit greatly

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I recommend taking her to a ZUMBA class (they have them for all ages). This is something that is exercise in disguise and won't send off the message that you feel that she is overweight but that you've found something that's fun that both of you can do as a way of spending time together. Keyword being together.

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I grew up over weight and still am to this day, unfortunatly my son is having the same issues, we have always been open and honest with him about what happens with our eating habits (i have broken down into tears more than once with him) i think children need the honesty. i have looked for ideas to help we have had him tested for all sorts of causes (blood suger, thyroid), what is did find was the realization of how big a range of calorie intake is needed by children, ie: some active children need say 2400 calories per day others only need 1800per day. when we ajusted his average calorie intake he evened out his weight gain and now is starting growing into his weight. the most important thing is to always be there for them with love and suport and never call it a diet they are for people who want to end up with a complete yoyo syndrem their whole life. IT SHOULD BE A CONTOUS LIFESTYLE CHOISE TO BE HEALTHY

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Educate her by re-enforcing a "healthy lifestyle" This includes, Portion control...Three small meals a day and 2 healthy snacks. Waiting 20 minutes after a meal before eating more. Teach her to eat the protein, veggies and fruit first. Then if still hungry, eat her carbs/dairy/small sweet last. It also includes balance and moderation. Only one glass of juice and milk per day, the rest is water. Deserts are not nightly, but small treats occasionally.
She also needs to break a sweat daily. It can be anything she enjoys from dancing, to roller skating, swimming or soccer. If she is hard to motivate, My boys have to "earn minutes for screen time." Based on the minutes of physical activity they have had. So if they swim for 1 1/2 hours that day. But if they just walk the dog for 30 minutes, then they earn 30 minutes.
I also teach my kids how to read labels. My oldest coined the phrase, "If you can't read it, then you shouldn't eat it."
This is giving our kids the tools for when they are ready to lose the weight themselves. Hormone changes, stress, and anxiety, depression can all be related to adolescent weight gain. Positive reinforcements, and LEADING BY example is the best way to insure your child will be a happy healthy weight in life. Last thing, do not make them feel guilty for blowing it. I use to do that, and realized, they feel guilty enough already. No beating up of self, but moving on to a new day. Reminding them that "Mistakes are made for learning" and giving them alternative options like "chewing gum" or calling a friend, or writing a letter to distract them instead.

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My son is 20 year old and he is like 70 kg but from 2 year old until 16 year he was so chubby and thank God I never told him not to eat this or that and I never put him on the diet believe me this is their age and kids change all the time and the only thing you do it's just help her that she doesn't loose her confidence and find a good exercise that she more interested my son loved soccer and he couldn't fit in because he was chubby and I encourage him to choose some musician class and he was so happy to play piano and he did it.

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Get out and do active things with your child, bike ride, swimming, play catch or Frisbee, go for walks, dance. Make it fun by playing I spy or finding points of interest. Always make time to do the activities and try to get his/her input in the activity they would like to do. Show that your having fun doing the activity.

Switch from processed foods to fresh vegetables and lean or extra lean meats, seldom cook fry foods and avoid junk foods, pop and fast food restaurants. Use pasta and rice dishes as a side dish instead of the main meal.

I was fat when I was growing up to. Picked on all the time and low self esteem. Once I got more active and stopped getting money to go to the store for junk food and candies and started eating properly I lost the weight.

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With kids its really simple. If they see you eating healthy food and taking care of yourself then they in turn will learn the same skills. First make sure that the food you are giving them is part of a balanced healthy diet. I never kept junk food in the house because my husband and I didn't eat it, so my three children were used to a wide variety of fresh fruit, vegetables and only lean meat. Teach them to drink water when they are thirsty. Also if you label junk food as 'treats' they will grow up thinking treats are special and when they don't get them they will feel deprived. Healthy food can be a treat as well. If they presently eat a lot of sugary and fatty foods, then wean them off gradually as in one meal per week until their diet is clean. There is no hard and fast rule but you will find that kids adapt. Make sure they are active and participate in group sport or dance or just go to the park with you - as long as they aren't developing into couch potatoes. As parents we must teach and lead by example with all we say and do for our children and most importantly if you come from a place of love and understanding it will help keep you in the right frame of mind for them. Love your kids and be present in their world!

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try to diet with her and work out with her, try to make her think it's for the both of you, it's great bonding time too.

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Rather than make your child feel bad by saying its a diet...just change the foods available to your child and make the changes with your child. go to the store and stock up on fruits and vegi's. Make sweet treats out of crystal light freeze it for popcicles....take a walk or go swimming with your child...turn off the tv and turn on music for a 30 min dance party...if you make changes with your child it won't seem like a diet and the child and you will be healthier and happier.

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I'm currently helping my son out right now. He is 10 and overweight. We get him walking about 30mins a day with my hubby or walking with my oldest son to the library and back. We have an appointment with a nutritionist that comes to my pediatrician's office every first tues. of each month - next month along with blood work. My issue has been that he is a very, extremely picky eater and he goes to my mom's who lives next door and eats also. She has been a bit of a contributor in this issue too along with dealing with visitation with his dad and that stress.

I'm hoping the nutritionist has was of getting him to eat the healthy foods he hates so that the walking will help take off the pounds.

I've always told my son that I want whats best for him, and to live a long and healthy life. I don't want him to end up with health issues at such a young age. I never put him down, but I make sure to let him know that I am giving him tough love cause I want the best for him, including a healthy life.

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I believe the best way is to live a whole foods, plant based lifestyle. It is sustainable to our environment and extremely healthy to our bodies. When I discovered this I took out the junk and replaced it with healthy foods. My little girl didn't notice because there was still food in the house that she could reach for when she was hungry. She never asked once where the junk food was, she just grabbed for watermelon, grapes, etc.. In two weeks time she lost 12 pounds just by MY change. A family can't expect their child to change if they aren't willing to make the change too. This way won't hurt her feelings either because you aren't talking about changing her weight, looks, etc. It's ALWAYS appropriate to talk about health within a family. That in itself is very healthy!! Good luck!!

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i grew up a chunky kid and i know how. my parents didn't have us eat healthy or have us involved in any activity or sports. as a parent myself now i stopped the cycle. my kids eat better then i did and are active i limit there time in front of the TV. now they do get an occasional snack but in moderation and they been eating according to the rule no meal bigger then there fist that's balanced. it simple and easy plus lead by example. don't lecture worry all that other stuff she knows you know and celebrate victories in healthy living

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