How Do You Communicate With Your Ex?

If your ex is involved in your children's life, how do you communicate with them about about is going in your kid's lives? Do you still make decisions together they way you did when you were still a couple?

40  Answers

3 0

My kids are older but I do still have one in school, and talk to his dad occasionally. I usually text or e-mail, but I don't hesitate to pick up the phone and call if I need to. After all we were married once, we had a strong friendship before hand and fortunately the friendship survived where the marriage did not! I want only the best for him and his "other" family. I will continue to see him at graduations, birthdays, holidays, marriages and births of grandchildren and don't want it to be akward for our sons on which parent to invite.... we are more than civil.

I invited him and his wife to my wedding and we all danced together!! I must say that we have had years of separation and no longer hold grudges for the failed marriage. It's nice to have that peace of mind.

18
2 0

i just want to say a big thank you to Dr.OGUN for what he has done for me,he brought back the man i loved and cherish with all my heart, A man who left me for another woman for good 3 years,with 2 kids,i just decided to check some spell caster's but all kept deceiving me,until i met Dr OGUN,who told me everything will be over .until he told me that my husband will be back in 2 days time,am so greatful today that my husband is back to me and we are happy and he always wanna be by my side,i will advice you people not to fall in the wrong hands but to contact Dr.OGUN who is trustworthy and straight forword,you can contact him via email lovespelltemplee@gmail.com IF YOU ALSO NEED SOLUTION IN THE FOLLOWING PROBLEM,CONTACT HIM AS WELL. 1) If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams. (3) You want to be promoted in your office. (4) You want women/men to run after you. (5) If you want a child. (6) You want to be rich. (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever. (8) If you need financial assistance. (9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money. (10)if you want to stop your divorce. (11)if you want to divorce your husband. (12)if you want your wishes to be granted. (13) Pregnancy spell to conceive baby (14)Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage (15)Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart. once again the email address is lovespelltemplee@gmail.com contact him immediately.

View More
1 20

For your child you should always work to have a civil co-parenting relationship. Your children are what's important and they will do better and be better adjusted if you can both work together, that means making decisions together and etc.

My ex and I have a good co-parenting relationship, we discuss any major issues related to our son and try to come to a decision together. However, being that he is with me most of the time I make most of the final decisions.

10
29 0

My husband has been enormously controlling and our relationship has only recently ended. What is said in writing is very different to what is said on the 'phone or in person. I don't believe he is stable, he is highly manipulative and often angry. I am walking on eggshells sometimes as we have no parenting order in place. I am still learning how to communicate effectively, fairly without compromising my self esteem, my childs welfare and providing an opportunity for father-daughter time. Sometimes communication is used as another tool of control and the best thing to do is limit it to the neccessary.

4
10 20

Joanna - My ex and I were there a couple of years ago when I first left him. He was awful. He lied to everyone - our children, friends, family, even his own attorney and our custody mediator. He would harass me at work (we work in the same building) and it got so bad that I had to threaten him with a restraining order. Within the past few months, however, things have gotten better. Your break-up is still fresh; I hope that the two of you can eventually get to where my ex and I seem to be. We are finally able to communicate about our children without him trying to control me through our children. That was the biggest issue - he could no longer control me directly so he tried doing it through our children.

View More
0 0

Ha! My ex isn't involved. Jerk...

3
5 17

It depends on the time span since your separation really. If its too soon, u find smses and text messages work better, as time goes on and the anger and emotions go away, you can call each other and discuss issues about your kids.

The decision making bit changes as the parent with the child makes the most decisions. However, since the children will probably spend time with your ex its important that you have the same stance on issues such as discipline and the like. You dont want the kids to manipulate the parents.

2
0 0

In some cases--the Divorce or separation MIGHT actually be a result of Different Parenting Styles---In my case it actually Was and IS the problem so there will be no "same stance" and in our case WE have had to teach our children Different Values and Different Rules may be true for Every Home -- At Dad's its that Way--At Mom's it is This way.... If we agreed on how things should be---we would still be together.

View More
7 0

It depends upon the relationship you have with your ex. Is there trust when it comes to the decision making for the children? Do you have other issues you are butting heads with?
I say if there is any conflict to mostly communicate by email so that most things are in writing. If you find yourselves constantly butting heads over decisions (as with me and my ex) then you may need some type of custody order about decision making.
When we were married, I informed him of what was going on and made all the decisions. He never questioned or asked about it. When we separated he wanted total control of everything and disagreed over every single thing with the kids. It was very ugly and time consuming. The court finally ordered that I have sole legal custody and got the final say on all decisions after discussing with him.

2
0 4

WOW!! How did you get full custody? I CANNOT communicate with my ex & have to e-mail him only. I've tried to talk to him about our kids, but he's so immature. Just turns into a big fight & he ends up re-hashing everything from the past & blames me for everything all over again. It's very exhausting, this is why I only e-mail him now. I make all the decisions, cause I cannot ever get a hold of him to even discuss anything with him. He's very controlling & wants what he wants & doesn't ever follow the court papers. He thinks he's above the law. I have to follow the papers, but not him. Then when I take him back to court, he lies to the Judge & we just end up having a pro-bono lawyer write up some papers & that's the end of that & nothing ever seems to get resolved.

0 1356

Theres no communication at all between me and my ex, he just cant be bothered and we (me and my son) are doing quite fine, probably best thing he got out of our lives, but will never deny him access to his son one day when he decides he wants to be part of his life. My son would have to make that decision himself.

All is fine and dandy!!

1
0 8

my ex and I now have a decent friendship, but he also lives 4000 miles away. So i make all the everyday decisions, but i have to answer the everyday questions as well. We have included each other on family functions, I have gone to his sister's wedding, and still visit his side of the family. My son needs to know his dad's side of the family, and I think it is important for him to see that we get along, and we love him and he doesn't need to know all the other details. We do try to spend some one on one time together with him if we are all in the same place since my son never gets him dad and mom together at the same time.

1
3 0

I talk with him through email. Conversation just brings up a lot of emotional baggage, so email takes a lot of the drama out of communicating and it gives us both time to process and decide what to say in response. Of course there's times it would be easier to just talk, but it's much more emotionally draining and things are more likely to be said in reaction to the person instead of the issue at hand.

1
0 4

WOW! I'm so glad I'm not the only one that has an ex like this!! E-mailing is the ONLY way we can communicate without him blaming me for everything & ruining our kids lives. WHATEVER!! LOL

2 0

Hello everyone i want to share a live testimony on how Dr Alex was able to bring my husband back to me, myself and my husband were on a serious breakup, even before then we were always quarreling fighting and doing different ungodly act..
My husband packed his things out of the house and we had to live in different area, despite all this i was looking for a way to re_unite with my husband, not until i met Dr Alex the great spell caster who was able to bring my husband back home, Dr Alex cast a love spell for me, and after some time i started seen results about the spell....
Today my family is back again and we are happy living fine and healthy, with Dr Alex all my dream came through in re_uniting my marriage, friends in case you need the help of Dr Alex kindly mail him on(solutionhelpcentre@gmail.com ) or call him on +2347036013351, Sir i will forever recommend you!!!

0
24 0

Good day.Compliments of the season to you all out there.. I am so full with joy as i write this post right now.. i really have had an en counted with a real spell caster who is so true with is word and he does what he says he will do. He is the realest of all spell casters out there.. so genuine and true. I want to thank High priest Steve for all he had done for me within the short time i met him.. he has really made my end of year a memorable one and he has made me know that there is still hope. Thank you once again for bring back my lost love and making my life sweet and better he can help you solve any kind of problem just let him know what you are passing through and that will be all.. I am so happy for the divine turn around he brought to my life. friends out there.. search no further for fake and scam spell caster, the real one is prophetogogalaga@gmail.com and his name is High priest Steve, Contact him today and share your problems with him and i am so optimistic there will be a solution to that problem when been brought to High priest Steve. prophetogogalaga@gmail.com....




(1)If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3)You want to be promoted in your office.
(4)You want women/men to run after you.
(5)If you want a child.
(6)[You want to be rich.
(7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8)If you need financial assistance.
(9)If you want to stop your Divorce
10)Help bringing people out of prison
(11)Marriage Spells
(12)Miracle Spells
(13)Beauty Spells
(14)PROPHECY CHARM
(15)Attraction Spells
(16)Evil Eye Spells
(17)Kissing Spell
(18)Remove Sickness Spells
(19)ELECTION WINNING SPELLS
(20)SUCCESS IN EXAMS SPELLS
(21) Charm to get who to love you.
Contact him today on: PROPHETOGOGALAGA@GMAIL.COM


PROPHETOGOGALAGA@GMAIL.COM

0
2 0

i just want to say a big thank you to Dr.OGUN for what he has done for me,he brought back the man i loved and cherish with all my heart, A man who left me for another woman for good 3 years,with 2 kids,i just decided to check some spell caster's but all kept deceiving me,until i met Dr OGUN,who told me everything will be over .until he told me that my husband will be back in 2 days time,am so greatful today that my husband is back to me and we are happy and he always wanna be by my side,i will advice you people not to fall in the wrong hands but to contact Dr.OGUN who is trustworthy and straight forword,you can contact him via email lovespelltemplee@gmail.com
IF YOU ALSO NEED SOLUTION IN THE FOLLOWING PROBLEM,CONTACT HIM AS WELL.
1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money.
(10)if you want to stop your divorce.
(11)if you want to divorce your husband.
(12)if you want your wishes to be granted.
(13) Pregnancy spell to conceive baby
(14)Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage
(15)Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart.
once again the email address is lovespelltemplee@gmail.com contact him immediately.

0
52 0

if it is africa 95 percent of the spell casters there are fake ..my name is larry from canada..i have been scammed by 2 different spell casters named dr shagi and dr arango until i came across dr idunga via facebook..he told me if i get the items and he work for me i can pay him anything i can afford, he worked with sincerity for me and in 6 days my inlaws called me plead to me that my ex wife want me back but dont know how to do it directly, she came to me the following day and we are happy again..am thanking dr idunga for his sincere work which is lacking among african spell casters.. am also using this medium to tell you all to beware of scammer and try to know one cos dr idunga will follow due process before anything that has do with finance..his contact is greatidungaspelltemple@gmail.com or + 2348113076524

0
0 16

My ex and I communicated about our daughter until he got a live-in girlfriend. We were married for 24 years and have two grown children and one young child. The new girlfriend will not allow my ex to communicate with me at all. She sent me texts and e-mails telling me that all communication must go through her. She has all of his e-mails forwarded to her and blocked me from his phone and facebook. Our daughter has been very sick all week and I sent him a text using her phone to let him know. His girlfriend blocked our daughter. I'm amazed that anyone can be this jealous or threatened. I'm disappointed that my ex does not stand up to her. That's his daughter, for goodness' sake. I am remarried and have no designs on my ex. Who does she think she is? She is not my child's parent or her guardian. She told me she is impartial but when I texted her to have my daughter call me, she told me my daughter was fine and it was their weekend so I didn't need to talk to her.

0
1

Nope.
Whenever I share what I feel is right for our child, my ex freaks on me claiming he never really had an opinion anyway and I will just go and do whatever I want regardless of what he thinks. Impossible to reach any agreement.

0
    Edit  |   Delete  |   Get Your Widget
34 0

I limit my communication to my ex to e-mail or text only. This allows us to focus in a business like fashion on the parenting needs only and prevents verbal abuse. It has been very effective for me thus far. I initially attempted verbal communication only to be consistently attacked or abused by my ex. Electronic communication allows communication for me and my ex.

0
108 76

I've been divorced from my son's Dad for 6 years now. We haven't always had the best track record when it comes to communicating. But with the help of mediation, we were able to get on a path of effective communication that now works really well for us. The vast majority of our communication is via text message. I have our son Monday-Friday, so all the school info is funneled through me. If there is a question I send him a quick text, only about that question. For calendar/planning items, I find email is a better way to do. Having a record that both parties can refer back to is very helpful. Then every so often we have a parent pow wow. Basically we chat via phone about any important issues or concerns that need addressing. The parent pow wow has strict rules. We stay on topic, stay respectful, and everybody gets a chance to say their peace.
You may find it difficult to communicate with an ex in the early stages, because there are still so many emotional triggers attached to that person. All of this will subside with time and practice. Remember, how you approach someone is how they are going to respond. If you start a conversation with an argumentative tone, an argument is sure to happen. If you would like to be spoken to respectfully, show the other person respect. The biggest idea to grasp on communicating with your ex, is keep the communicating about the kids, what the kids need, and how you as parents are going to address those needs. Hopefully, after a while you will see that you can more easily communicate, and even get to a place where you can talk as friends. Good luck!

0
2 0

well since my girl lives with me and i am basically raising her with support from my family , with minimal involvement from my ex , i made all decisions about my girl by myself. though he is not involved in any decision making but i will always sms him to keep him in the loop.

0
17 31

I only wished that we could make decisions together where the kids are concerned!! My ex is the one that left for another woman and my kids were old enough they knew what was going on! And they were very mad at him for a while and they are still hurt by it. But now it seems that I am a prisoner in my own home. My kids have learned how to play the game which is actually generated from their dad. He begs them everytime they are together to come live with him or tells them that if they dont like my rules they can come live with him, which I know him we were marred for 16 years and what he claims they would be able to do they would not, I am actually the more flexible parent. The kids have told me they dont like him pushing them to come and live with him and I have mentioned this to him but once again it only created an argument. But I feel like I cant discipline them in fear of them leaving and I know that is wrong and I do still discipline them I just walk around everyday waiting on the day they say we are leaving when i have always been their main caretaker, their dad has never even changed a diaper in 15 years! My daughter recently said that she hated being the one in the middle telling me this or me asking her to tell her dad something and I know this is wrong but he refuses to communicate with me and when we have it always ends in an argument so I refuse to any more!! Anyone have ANY suggestions???

0
0 1

Unfortunately my husband n I broke up in very bad circumstances, he beat me up for the nth time ... 9 yes I took it lying down hoping it would get better ... Then came along our angel ... Daughter and he beat me up whist she was in my arms ... I was unconscious n when I came to n saw her all covered in blood , mine, but thought it was hers n felt I had lost her to his brutality ... I called the cops ! Long story short .. He hasn't shown any interest towards her ... N we have carried on in life ... Though still fighting in court for justice since the last 15 yrs ! He uses a biological fathers sympathy to help himself on court but has done nothing all these yrs to get closer to her ... I do not feel talking to such a beast is going to help our child in any way as she is now grown up n has her own feeling too ... Life has not been easy on us ... But we are making it thru ... Do not need any further complications ... As he always causes trouble for us ! Initially inspire of all odds I did attempt to talk to him to knock some fatherhood sence into him ... But did not succeed ... So have left it at that ! Only the divine can prevail to sort out his Sences ... She is growing up to be a beautiful soul ... Don't want to mess her up ! I agree it's ideal for the father to meet n be in touch with the child , but with my experience ... To each his own !

0
0 14

Me and my ex split up on pretty nasty terms. I have two young children so they don't understand why Daddy isnt here anymore. I try and let him come over and see them as much as he's able too. As for the decision making, call me stubborn, but I feel like I have more say in what my kids do and don't do and where they go and can't go. Our relationship now is still very rocky, so I guess it depends on what your relationship is like with him. But making the decisions together and compromising on certain terms will make things easier for the both of you and for the kids.

0
10 3

my ex and I dont see eye to eye at all so we had to go down the court route just for maintenance that wasnt even a year ago and he has missed a lot of payments since we did get on untill he met his new girlfriend and now he only looks to see my son ( i say my for hes not bothered) when she cant meet up with him i gave up trying to contact him for on a good day it could take up to 24 hours to get him on the phone and i dont see why i would have to knock on his door my son sees his great grandparents (there the only ones out of his farther family who look to have him) about every week and a half so i rairly have a moments peace only for my boyfriend started to look after my son (i know him 10 years and hes been babysitting kids the last 7 years) so i could go to work i would have lost my job dose anyone else have this prob for i haven't meet anyone yet who dose

0
4 13

As little as possible. If he contacts me I will talk but otherwise if he's not interested then I won't volunteer info. He left us when my daughter was 2 DAYS old. She was in hospital for over a week after birth. He left because ha said my family criticized him and was too involved...BS anyone?

0
11 1

I try not to.. He's the worst!!

0
168 24

Email or text usually. If I need to I will pick up the phone and call him. We broke up 18mths ago. And sometimes he's alright for a few weeks and then he just gets all abusive and scarey and controlling. When he gets like that I simply stop communicating. If he wants to know something he can ask. When it gets time to deciding which school our son goes to, I will ask for his opinion, in the end it will probably be my decision though, simply because I'm the one who will be dealing with the day to day of school.

0
0 0

nope, because i provide everything to my children, and their father dont have any share for them so why should i ask any decision from my ex for my kids,..

0
0 0

My children were older when I got divorced. However the youngest was still in school at the time and yes we did communicate. I wouldn't say that the decision were the same as when we were married but it was about what was best for our son and not any problems that we may have had. You have to remember even if you don't like your ex they are still the child's parent.

0
17 53

My ex and I just recently broke up and it was not pretty. We had been together for five years on and off. For many reasons we just cant get it right. I know I am not perfect but this guy is a control freak and refuses to compromise. I have my children 24/7 an I am thier sole provider. He wants to play part time daddy and Im not having it. I dont think its fair to me or my two dughtes. I feel as though if you are taking my children somewhere I have the right to know just as he knows where the girls are when they are with me. I just want my kids to be safe. When you say you want top see your children that dosent mean picking them up them dropping them off at someone else's house. And please dont tell the child or children your comming to get them and never show up. He is crazy. We are not on speaking terms. Id like for us to one day get pass all the drama and be civil for our girls but that day is far from comming. Yet I've been taking care of my girls as asingle parent all this time and we do good withouthim. Its his lost not me and my daughters.

0
0 0

Silently =)

0
0 0

it's good to open him or her to your spouse. but the best thing is: stop the communication. resolved or not, that was a past relationship. you have your present to live with, and work for.

0
5 14

hiya, well i suppose this really depends on the relationship that you and your ex have. If you and your ex can talk on the telephone, about your child. And its works. And both you and your child find it helpful or benefical. Then you should consider that. Just make sure you put boundaries in place with your ex. e.g dont call after 8pm. And so on.

However is your ex has a tendancy to malnipulate you, abuse you verbally. Or just generally be nasty. And you feel intitidated, or experience lower levels of self-esteem. Then in this scanerio, i suggest email only. Or a friend or family member, to mediate.

0
0 4

I TOTALLY agree!! My ex did this to me for years cause I wasn't strong enough to say "NO" & put an end to it. I was in counseling, my kids were in counseling, etc... Through talking to friends & family, I became a stronger, better person & now we only e-mail each other. It's much, much better this way.

0 0

It's been a decade since we have been together. My ex is not, and never was good at communication. He plays games with our adult children and refuses to come to events where life milestones are being celebrated. Graduations, the babyshower for the birth of our first grandchild, refused to come. Very hard to understand why, but doesn't communicate with his brothers or cousins either. Find it very difficult but life goes on, and it's his loss in the end.

0
0 4

You are absolutely 100% right!! It's HIS loss! He's very selfish & angry & cannot see past his own nose. He doesn't care about anyone elses feelings, but his own. My ex is sorta like this, except he's been there for my Daughter's 6th grade graduation & I know he'd be there for other milestones. He's very selfish too but at least mine has a heart. So sorry to hear that. He's ruining the relationships with everyone & that's very sad for him & he'll die a lonely man. He's prob trying to make everyone think it's cause of you. My ex has done things like this too, just to try & make me look bad. What he doesn't realize, is that he makes himself look bad.

0 0

Text message and email.

0
4 3

My husband left me with all the bills to pay and a child with cancer to face all by myself. I had to get a court order for him to show up at Dr appointments. He did nothing to help in fact when this was all going on he told me he wanted the house sold I told him beep beep beep. Like I did not have enough to worry about.. My child and I spent a year in the hospital together 5 months of chemo and then a bone marrow transplant. I went on leave from work the community we live in helped us with a benefit so i did not lose my house. My son has never spoken to his father for 3 years now and thinks hes a horrible person which is sad. I was forced to make all the decisions myself and be the grown up like I had to when I was married to him so nothing changed but I at least helped to save my sons life and he is paying the price of have no relationship because he didn't do the time to help.

0
3 0

Wow!! You have definately had your hands full. Glad to hear you at least had a wonderful community to support you and your son through his battle!!! I'm sure you and your son have a stronger bond than most, Bless you both!

View More
1 2

We have always been able to talk. We have three sons together but I agreed to let him have the kids as they were like my shadows and he had almost no contact with them when they were younger and he wanted to be involved in their life and I felt it was a good decision. I did not want them to be mamma's boys and they had a chance to know who their father was. They have grown up to be fine young men. My husband did a very good job in rearing them up. I love them all. I have remarried now and we all get along. Life is good, and I will always keep my ex in my thoughts. We got married at the age of 17 just too young. We tried for 13 years but just grew apart. He is a good man. Good heart. I am glad that the new generation is waiting until they are older to tie the knot as they say as it is just such an important step in your life.

0
321 2

We communitcate by Text or Email. Works best, although its hard telling if its his wife doing it or not, but really in my case, i know of his punctuation and spelling errors as his wife doesn't have the problem. I wish he would be a man since after all we had one child together.
Texting and Emailing work best for documentation as well

0
0 0

I communicate with my mans ex wife for him BECAUSE he has more difficulty with punctuation and spelling. It's easier for Me to text and email and he doesn't have to deal with Her pointing out his every flaw.... It works well for us because he can change the oil in my car while I spell correctly to his ex!

View More
0 0

Unless the child is adopted by your ex i believe its unnecessary to keep in touch. as long as you are happy your child will be too. i think it starts being confusing. so everytime it doesn't work out your child still is a link.

0
0 0

what?

View More
11 2

When I do have to communicate with my ex..... I text him. He is not involved in my sons lives so I very rarely have to see or speak to him.

0
4 12

You should have a family memeber with you when it come to talking to your ex, as for as the kids are concern, not in the conversation, but some where near. because soemtimes it make cause so much drama.

0
0 0

How to Save Your Relationship And Marriage from Divorce or broke up An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is Natasha Johnson,i live in Florida,USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website { http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Brave for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. {bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, Thanks..

0 0

....proofread is my thought.... please! in the Question above it says --about about-- instead of "about what" So I didn't read more--sorry

-7
0 17

Really - my thought is just write your emotions as you feel them - don't worry about proof reading, this is not school!!

View More

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms