How do you cope with being lonely as a single parent?

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35  Answers

2 8

why feel lonely in the first place? I have wonderful twin daughters, a good career in the legal profession, supportive and loving family and friends! There is so much in this world to be thankful for than feeling lonely of not enjoying a love life. With all my capabilities, I am sure that I am fit to be a mom and dad to my kids. We should feel happy being single so that if the right man comes along, I am fit to be his perfect half. Of course, I still dream of that happily ever after but still, I should not feel empty and lonely being single in the meantime. God has good plans for me, better than I wished for so I should enjoy every single moment of life while it lasts! I could never come back to this time again :D

12
1 32

Charmine, very nicely put!! I can see you are very mature in the Lord and his ways for you/. God Bless U and your lovely children man or no man in your life. keep doing what your doing! ;D

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0 20

Get a great big fluffy stuffy to cuddle when the night seems long...its better than casual sex which leaves you feeling cheap and used.

7
5 0

I know its hard but at the middle of life stage I have discovered that feelings like loneliness relate more to my unmet needs and how to learn how to love and care for myself first!...A couple of tools have been reaching out to family and friends for a little bit everyday.I also get involved in events and activities in the community even by myself,you do get used to it!..Hands on greater portland for volunteer work and MeetUp.com for groups..some of these groups involve children also....Chin up it gets better!...April

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0 22

Not very well! I find it is the hardest at night, when my boy is asleep and it's just me and the dog. I try to distract myself by keeping the house clean and reading, but that's when the grief is the sharpest and the hardest to shake. My (and his) family are incredibly supportive, both emotionally and financially, but there's nothing to replace that constant life companion.

5
48 2

Lonely???? 1)with 3 children I don't have time, not that i'm exempt from it ever crossing my mind if you're speaking of love and a solid relationship. 2) children keep a lot going on, and I also have a few good girlfriend friendships already so I'm already stretched pretty thin. 3) with all the evil going on in this world (not that there isn't good) I would really hesitate bringing a man around my daughters, with all that said I just figure by God's grace I'm good to hold myself down until they are raised & pretty much on their own.

5
0 0

Dianne, I totally agree with you. I just experienced the evil first hand and because I was not prepared for the blow, I am still trying to recover. Trust me the evil comes in all shape and sizes and it even comes confessing the word of God.

5 5

God to help me stay strong

4
0 12

I have done everything under the sun to try to be happy and struggle with issues, I have been a single parent for 19 years. yes My 2 boys are older. But when they were growing up at the time in their lives they needed a dad he was not there, by his choice he has had wanted nothing to do with them. His loss. And i have no family to help. I try to do projects that i enjoy and that helps some. But on top of it I am dealing with depression and panic attacks.I love my boys and am so very grateful i have them they make my world.

4
0 0

" I am one and I am not alone" I have more now. I embrasing the freedom..to live again. Free to be me again. Time to live! Time to find that life evermore. forever free. forever me..Who is not alone ..just Free.. Some thing that I felt like sharing with you..for I understand, but have Hope in these words.

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2 0

It is hard, but I cope with the loneliness by staying as busy and involved in activities as possible.
I'm hoping it gets easier as my 13 month old gets older.

4
0 5

it does get easier, it will only get better from here on.

0 19

I am recently estranged from my husband. We have three great children whom we adore. Over the years together we have made many mistakes, errors, misgivings in our relationship and our marriage and in our ability to be whole parents to our daughters. It is sad. We are both sad. I'm sure at some level our daughters are sad. How could they not be? Each one was conceived with so much love and want. Their little lives are so precious to us as all of your children are. So why do the two of us function so poorly together?
How do I cope with being lonely as a single parent? I don't cope. Nor do I dwell on the question "why". It is not productive. I focus on all that is good and for all that I am grateful for. It took hard work to make children and raise a family. I focus on the joys of the work and to take one day at a time. One foot in front of the next.

My youngest daughter is 2 and a half. She has a rare genetic disorder which makes her moderately and globally disabled.

This is not what I expected from my life. To be separated, having such a challenged child. To be so lonely at this stage in my life. But. I am happy. And, I have three little lives to nurture. Doing that in return nurtures me.

Life is a journey and I'm journeying with love and passion. That is my choice. No matter what.

I wish all single parents joy and a lot of strength on your roads ahead. We are not alone. xo

3
0 16

The most important thing you must do is have faith in God! Carry His cross by lifting your arms up to the side and remember how much he had suffered. Make phone calls or email contacts everyday and stay in touch with all of your family and friends.There are many people out there that would love a phone call or get together. You are not the only one. Reach out to others; then you will never be alone.

3
0 15

I really don't feel lonely very often with my daughter at my side. There are days where I wish I had another adult to share with but my daughter is my life and we do a lot of activities together and it's hard to find someone at my age(late 40's) that are willing to help raise a child who isn't even in her teens yet. I look at it as this is the path chosen for me and if it's meant to share my life with someone in addition to my daughter then it will happen when it's time.

3
9 10

You just do. My son, work and enjoying life keeps me busy. Sure intimacy you share with a partner is missed but I believe he will find me or I will find him when the time is right. Dealing with the loneliness, you just gotta be happy with yourself and it's really not that lonely. Friends, family (your kid(s) make it all good.

3
0 8

Being a single parent was never about being lonely, it was empowering. "Look at what I can accomplish on my own!" I did better without a husband then with, both financially and emotionally.

2
0 33

my daughter keeps me busy: dancing, swimming etc. I get spoilt by her with hugs and kisses

2
0 0

When my husband left me with three children (one child his son, two daughters from previous relationship) to look after, it was hard for about 8 months. There was an empty space, I had a whole bed to myself and I missed him terribly. I replaced that space with a dog, then another dog, then two more :) I have never looked back. My life is full to the brim and love my life with my children and animals. My girls visit their Dad every other weekend, and my son used to stay with his Dad but that has broken down at the moment as he has another child now. Friends and family support me so once in a while so I can be alone and it gives me a few days to re-energise. Sometimes I feel I have a very good life being single, I hear so many of my friends talk about their relationship problems and arguements and I just don't have those issues any more. I can do what I want , when I want, my children are doing really well at school and they repsect that I work hard and help me sometimes with a business I run from home. I make the most of every minute of my day and am grateful to say goodnight to y precious ones every night.

2
0 0

I just keep in mind that the reason it hasn't worked out with anyone yet, is because something better is coming along. And although I am "alone", I hardly ever get "lonely"...thanks to my precious 7 year old soul mate.

1
0 15

When my son is awake and not at school I focus on him, and I'm working in a job that pays me to take lots of classes. In any free time, I have a zillion hobbies. But sometimes you just need another person right? I have a guy that I've been friends with for a while, with the same needs that I have, and we have an understanding. I don't have time in my life for a relationship, nor do I want one. But I do have girly needs and I hate the idea of just rolling around with a stranger, so this works out nicely. It took a couple years to find someone that I trust which in this situation is pretty important.

1
0 0

The only proble for me is financially, it's really taxing. But loneliness have never been an issue. With great friends and family, there's for room for self-pity. Working full time plus getting back into college helps me to be more focused in the direction and path that I want to take in order to benefit my daughters (I have 2). I do talk to my daughters a lot. That helps me to maintain my sanity.

1
0 0

I went back to college full time so I have no free time to really think about how lonely I am until Christmas and summer, lol. I have learned to take care of myself since my ex walked out; and to say 'no' to doing too many other things. I love my kids, go to school for my kids, and I am the only one they can count on to take care of them. (Their dad, my ex, hid income to not pay child support and now is sick) With 5 kids in the house, two with seizures, I don't feel 'lonely'. I have good family and friends for a support system which has helped immensely through the rough parts. God has been my main focus and has always taken care of us as a family. When it is time, the right man will be put into my life - this time I am trusting God with knowing who is best for me and my family.

1
1 13

My partner works away alot. Our son is 6 & his Dad has been absent for at least half his life. My attitude changed when I realised I didn't need a man at home 24/7 to have a good life. I became more independent by learning to do man jobs around the house eg, paint, change a fuse, service the mower etc. I also did things for me when my child was at school or daycare eg, work, study, go to the gym etc. And I help out at school which is a great place to get all the parenting stuff off my chest. I've got to know my neighbours really well & love my Mother in Law. (My mums not involved.) In general I've learnt to put myself out there, talk to people, built my own network of trustworthy & friendly people & have a couple of people who we treat like family that will babysit. Going to the pub is not the only way to find friends & in fact I don't do this anymore. It's not interesting enough. Although everything is worked around our son, I have a good balance.

1
42 6

I admire every one of your ladies!! The amount of times I've said this out loud is unbelievable. How do you cope generally! I tip my hat to you all xx

1
34 0

I am single stay at home mum to a 3.5yr girl. She's my whole world. We are lucky that we live with my parents....and dogs...cats....birds....fish.... We rely on each other in an almost symbiotic way. My father is retired and has a chronic blood disease that can only be managed. I keep busy most days. When my darlin girl goes off to her dads, it's either cleaning, shopping, catching up with my ONLY friend or down time. Down time is last. So I am not lonely. However, I do feel alone in one aspect of my life. Dating. Just...how? How do I get the confidence to even approach anyone? Dating sites only go so far. Groups aren't around in my region. I'm too old for clubs, I am only 30, and have so much love to give. It seems cruel to me that god would leave me like this for years. So I have decided I am not going to wait for loneliness. I will embrace happiness and loving with the ones who are here for me right now. I will not dwell on feelings that will get me nowhere. I will carry on, just being happy with who I am.

0
3 0

How do I cope? I trust that God will guide me in the right path. I just say, "May His will be done". I verbalize what I want in a man, visualize it. Know that he's out there. I know now what true love should be like. I have set higher standards and will never settle again. Yes, sometimes I loose faith. I am human. I think I have more good days than bad days. Now that I am single I am more alive than when I wasn't. I was dead. I lost me. I am finding myself again and that feels good.

0
6 0

I am 23 and I am a solo mother to a 20 month year old darling girl. I have to say...I am so happy to no that other people are in the same boat as me. For a whole year last year I was being a stay at home mum. After years of partying hard, working and studying...this was a big change for me. It suddenly felt as if my friends had distanced themselves from me. I hardly even hear from them anymore. I got really upset over it and approached one of my friends only to have her laugh at me behind my back. I was so hurt because we have been best friends for 18 years, and now she is talking behind my back. Now I feel like I have no friends and the ones I do have we are not that close. I miss my old life. Im trying to study and move foward its just really hard. And as for my love life..well its non existant because I cant go out anywhere as I have to look after my bubz.

0
0 0

I surround myself with people that will lift me higher...I keep God first and know hell bring the right man in my life at the right time. I also surround myself with friends and family....It does get hard believe me, but keep busy and have fun being single...remember it wont last forever.

and always remember to Love yourself first!!!!

0
108 76

Feelings of loneliness are common among single parents. Think about it, you are doing twice the work, having to be emotionally available to your child on your own, deal with behavior on your own. I am a single Mom, and a nanny on top of that, between Motherhood and my job there are moments when I feel very along. Sometimes it feels as though no one has my back, even though I have every bodies.
What has helped me is finding a few really good girlfriends to be my support system. Some of my friends are Moms, some are not, most are marries, and most have more children than I do. Together, we support each other so that we avoid the Mommy black hole that can come with being a full time parent.
Something else that might help is getting involved, if you aren't already, either at your child's school, or your religious institution. Some place that you will be able to connect with other people that have a similar goal or mindset.
The last thing I suggest is plain and simply seeing your world differently. You may feel alone, but you are not alone. You have your children there with you. It is hard for me to feel lonely when I look into my son's beautiful eyes. I bet it could be the same for you.
I hope this was helpful.

0
9 16

Just deal with it,,There will come to a point that u will feel it,,I take care of three kids at the same time working mother,sometimes i get lonely,feeling sorry for myself to everything that is happening,asking the Lord why?........& when i feel it, I listens to music that will suit my mood,my being lonely! i watch Dvd movie,,then i cry with the movie, i get tangled with my emotions! Then i Pray, I talk to my sister in christ.Praying to the Lord actually make me releive..then in few days i okay facing the busy busy motherhood & parent...........Life goes on everyone of us has it's down syndrome,single or married....

0
0 1

Actually, I am no tlonely at all. I have my daughter who is 17 and all of her friends at home almost every night. When she is at work or out socializing, I enjoy the peace and quiet by myself by curling up in my big chair and reading my book or watching my favorite tv shows. And I also have my wonderful grandsons. I just pick up the phone and give them a call and they can be here in 15 mins to spend the evening with me, if I really want the company. So, I never get lonely......

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0 0

Wow, I block loneliness out, or loneliness will get the best of me. My son , who’s autistic, was recently diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.. Which means,…I’m his walking pancreas and, like a credit card, I don’t leave home without him. For a lover, a friend or any relationship, it’s no walk-in-the-park. But, I’m still waiting for that special someone willing to give our relationship a chance. Only then will he see that he will ALWAYS be better than second place to me. How do I cope? With the “hope” that tomorrow will be, yet, a better day.

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0 0

i am beyond that age now. all my kids r grown, but i coped with loneliness by getting out with my kids and getting involved in their activities.i went out and got involved and tried not 2 let the loneliness get me down.but everyone is different.i read parent magazines a lot and if i was struggling with an issue i read up on parenting. i was also in counseling which helped a great deal. my counselor was my friend. talking to people who had already gone through parenting and survived helped. Or talking to someone who could identify with me, feel for me and provide some comfort and understanding. not advice or patronizing but someone who was genuinely helpful.

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0 23

ive been a single parent off and on for 7 years. I have a 7 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. Keeping my self busy with them, friends, and family keeps my mind off being "lonely". And anytime i get in a funk of missing what i used to have i have to remember the things that made me unhappy in the first place. I have handled this by going to school and joining a gym other than my children. If i miss cuddling with someone we have a movie night and they are all the cuddling i need. Movie night out is awesome with my children. They are always there to make me smile no matter whats happen ive learned relying on my kids for some of the things i miss out of a man is much more rewarding in the end :)

0
0 0

Its hard, but what you have to do is fine things that will keep you busy. Doing things with your kids, having friends come over to your place for a moive night, finding people who have kids your child age and doing things in groups is another way to go.

0
2 5

It is very difficult! I wan to be able to share with happiness our life with someone special-wish I had a wonderful husband to enjoy family movie night with or who could teach the kids things. Not to mention just the added emotional support would be nice. I make my self so busy with the kids activities I do not have time for me or to roll in self pitty over being alone.

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6 8

I stay busy with my children and their activities, hang out with my family and friends and now I have a wonderful boyfriend and we spent a lot of time together with our children. Having a good group of friends is the best thing though especially if there are some other single moms in there because they understand and can be a great support system.

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0 63

I spend time talking with friends. I am very involved in my daughter's life. We cook together, clean together, do homework and we're part of the Girl Scouts together.

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3 8

I'm with Dianna who has time? I stay busy trying to keep it all together by myself and friends are a must! I think a better question might be how to overcome the feelings of anger and resentment towards the man that should be stepping up and helping and at the state attorney general for doing. Sqat

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