How do you encourage loved ones who are newly sober?
Substance abuse can affect everyone's lives, but especially children. So when loved ones who have abused alcohol or drugs announce that they are now living a sober lifestyle, it can be hard to trust them - for yourself or for the sake of your children. What are some ways you can show support for their sobriety while continuing to protect your children's wellbeing?
My husband quit drinking 6 months ago. It was hard for him at first, but once he put it down, he was done! I am so proud of him because he has been drinking most of his life. I was patient and sort of doubting at first but he has really proven himself. I too quit drinking (not that I drank often) to show my support and make things not as hard for him, NOBODY is allowed to drink at our house now. Suprisingly it doesn't bother him to be out to dinner and have people around us drinking.
Don't let the addiction in your home. I have a very strict policy alcohol is only allowed in my garage because My father was an alcoholic as was my father in law and I don't want my kids exposed to it. So it must stay in the garage. My brother in law is recovering from alcohol and for the past two years he hasn't spent anytime with our kids because he was NEVER sober so he wasn't allowed over here. He just completed a 90 rehab and we had him and my sister in law over for dinner. I made must husband take the alcohol out of the garage and put it in the trunk of his car, out of sight out of mind. It is important that NO ONE drink (or do what ever the addictions is) around the newly sober person until they are more comfortable with their sobriety.
Keep them busy - involve them and be supportive :0 keeping busy is the key to successfully staying sober.. introduce them to good new people - have fun - the reason most people do drugs/drink is from boredom or depression - Trust me - I used to be addicted to drugs until I had my daughter - now my life is more for filling I don't feel the need for them. - plus I have somebody that depends on me...
First, be sober yourself so there is never alcohol in the house and you aren't tempting him to go back on his sobriety. Second, before any function, offer to bring non alcoholic options that you and your loved ones enjoy so that you have something to drink and people know it. Last, if you have friends or family who are not supportive - who even seem to want to press the issue - accept that you may have to let those friends go or have them only visit at your sober household. Make new friends and visit new haunts, where alcohol or drugs are not the 'life' of the party.
If your partner slips, try not to be too judgemental but first and foremost you have to protect your children so there needs to be clear boundaries and limitations. For example, if he comes home and you can tell he's been drinking, or he's stoned, whatever...the rule should be that he needs to go sleep it off somewhere, go to an AA meeting, call his sponsor, and not return home until sober once more. Have him come up with some of the solutions while sobriety is a clear intention of his as well as yours.