How do you keep from playing favorites?
Of course you love both of your children - equally! But sometimes one has interested that are more in line with yours, or another is a little better behaved... And it can be tough to avoid the appearance of having a favorite. What are some ways you're able to remind yourself to play fair with your kids?
I have 6 grown children and I can say that I don't have a favorite, but I can say that at times one child or two required more of my time than the others. Yet that changes over time and changes back again. Even now as the youngest is 40. Ha. The saying I like best came from my sister-in-lay, Mary Lou. When she was asked if she had a favorite child, she answered, "Yes, I do. Whichever one I'm holding on my lap,"
Likewise, my favorite son or daughter is the one who has my full attention at the moment. Who gets the most? I don't know. They all get my best.
I am wearing a shirt to Christmas this year that says "I'm the favorite", just to see what happens. Not really, but I could - and my brothers would agree and my sister would fight me for it. I am my mother's clone, for better or worse, we look alike, we talk alike, sometimes we even dress alike. And as for my own kids, I have much more in common with my 19 year old daughter, than my 16 year old son. She and I both read a lot, are very opinionated, and can talk about boys and friendships and all the excitement of being away at college. Our closeness comes very easily. My son is just like his dad (quiet, reserve), into his friends, his music and gaming. I have to "intentionally" interact with him, like sharing funny videos and our love for sci-fi. So I record shows that I know we can watch together or take him to see live music. It's hard to admit that you naturally favor people with whom you have the most in common. But the love is always unconditional!
It's not about having a favorite. You love your children without conditions or restrictions forever. Each child has their own personality and you relate to them based on who they are. I have five children and I have a different relationship with each one. None of them will be happy all the time so it will always seem as though someone is the "favorite" based on how they process any given situation. What works for me is I keep the rules the same for everyone and its all in or all out.
My twins are totally different people and I love them both the same. I don't have a favorite because they both do things at different times that I like and dislike so they cancel each other out!