How do I get my daughter to tell me when she needs to go potty?
34 Answers
How do you motivate a boy to potty train?
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39 Answers
27 Votes
Food coloring in the potty. I tried stickers and motivation, but he loves to see the colors go in and he loves to mix them with his stream. No more fights to get him to go, plus he learns his colors and which colors mix to make other colors...cheap and easy!!
14 Votes
All boys are different it really depends on you'r son's personality and readiness. My son in particular is VERY stubborn and he likes to think everything is his idea, so after nearly pulling my hair out trying to get him to use the potty it dawned on me that if I could have him go to the potty even just once and I could praise him and make him think it was his idea, then maybe we could get somewhere with it. Sure enough the first time he went on his own we basically had a little party in the bathroom and I kept saying "that was a great choice honey!" The fact that he thought it was his idea and that he made mommy so proud made him even more motivated to go, since that day he's been going great (don't get me wrong he's had accidents! But they were all on the way to the potty). I also work with kids and some things I have found over time:
Rewarding with prizes or treats can really backfire with certain kids, they can come to expect it and then when you try to wean them off the rewarding it can sometimes be harder then the actual potty training. Sometimes this method works great but I have found it to be more difficult then helpful
Always be positive about using the potty, sometimes it's hard but the better they feel about going the more they want to go. Even if they have an accident never make them feel bad for it try things like "Well, we didn't make it to the potty this time but accidents happen we will ust have to try extra hard to make it next time!"
A consistent routine, just like bed time and meal time, when using the potty makes it easier on both of you and he will fall into a routine with using the potty just like his other routines.
Let him rip around in either underwear or bare bum for a bit, it feels alot more uncomfortable to them if they have wet fabric on their skin rather then a diaper that absorbs it all
Like I said every kid is different but I think the biggest thing for all kids is that they feel like they did something absolutely FANTASTIC when they go to the potty and then naturally they will just want to keep going, even as adults we want to keep doing something we are recognized for being good at it's just human nature.
Good luck :)
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Sheila - commented on Jun 24, 2012
my son is the same way as yours, so i will try your idea as well and let you know. Thank you.
8 Votes
I think the first thing is to recognize when they are ready and when they can express to you that they can use it. My son is 2 years old and will be three in september, he started out doing well and then he relapsed. I was tired of changing diapers and pull ups, so I stayed home 3 days straight determined to get him potty trained I stripped him of all clothing and explained the importance of not going on the carpet or any place else but the toilet and rewared fruit snacks or a cupcake. I am proud to say I havent changed a poopy pull up in 7 days and he urinates in the pull ups at night but I'm grateful for progress and he tells me.
7 Votes
At least i know its normal for my 2yr, 2month old son to 'resist training'. Indeed every child is different so there is really no point rushing them. Each one of them will become aware sooner or later.
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Leah - commented on Apr 26, 2012
Yeah, every kid goes through their "last stand" so to speak! Think about, their diaper is the ONE thing that has remained a constant in their little lives right. Beds have changed, toys, siblings maybe, food, etc. So its gonna be hard to give up a diaper, its an addiction really, so needs to be treated that way. Try not to get past 30 months. That age is marked by defiance and resistance, you think its hard now...... Try pantless for a day and catch as much pee as you can, he'll get the point. But once you take the diaper off, don't be wishy washy about it, don't out it on! Naps and bed time are the exception, and kids seem to naturally start to train for those as they get more used to going during the day! Good luck!
5 Votes
like all the other ladies, ill defo say , look for signs of readiness
i started my son with no. 2 when he was about 14 months just by taking him in the bathroom w us and telling him that big boys use the toilet like mommy and daddy but not asking him to do it; after a while he asked to use the loo( never wanted the potty) and since then ,never had a problem
with no.1 i watched for signs like mostly dry pull ups in the am, him telling me when he needed one , so we stayed at home for 2 days wearing just trousers and after a few accidents he was ready :) and never used anything else other than underwear ( this happened when he turned 2)
that being said, i think i had it easy, as i know lots of other kids resisting , so is defo a personality issue ; u just need to find a way that suits him. obviously praise, taking a book in the bathroom, a story , even some music he enjoys are on the list ; another thing i wont do is to push him and rush him into it ; g luck
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Cynthia - commented on Sep 22, 2011
my son 2yrs old, tells me he has peepee but doesn't want to use the potty, he's scared and i dont mind that but when should i saw enough is enough..... i definetly will have to have the three day (nude child) for sure to get it done. I just don't want to make it a torture three3days. Wish me luck and prayers
4 Votes
I dont agree with rewarding with food, but potty training is one time I agree to it, for number two. For boys placing cheerios into the toilet gives them a bobbing'o game and they like it.
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Terese - commented on Jun 8, 2012
I've heard the Cheerios trick works great. Also using Froot Loops and making a game of hitting certain colors or pushing them around the bowl.
4 Votes
i believe when they are ready they will do it .i used to leave my door open to the bathroom and my son used to come in and he would sit on the potty and started to do it on his own ..so i did not have a hard time with it .he would see that i had to pull down my pants so he would pull down his diaper and just go yes we had a few accidents but very few thank god he was a year old when he trained
so i was very happy good luck everyone it can be done
2 Votes
My son is very stubborn and I thought he was going to be heading to kindergarten in pampers! We tried pullups and he just treated them like pampers so eventually i just had to say this is it, and send him off in underwear. He was almost 3 and half before he finally gave in. I found that since he moved to the bigger kids room in Daycare for 3 year old-out of the toddler room- he started to do things the bigger kids did. He had a couple of accidents the first week at daycare, I had always sent extra clothes, then he has been good since.
He gets up at night and everything and goes now when he needs to.
They are all different but it's definitely frustrating!
2 Votes
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. With boys you really just have to let them lead the way.
We started trying every different approach to potty training with my oldest when he was about 2--all because for one week he wanted to use the potty before bed. He resisted every step of the way untill he was almost 5 and starting preschool for the first time. Once he had potty trained piers it took just a few months and he was dry all day.
My 3 year old suddenly asked for underpants one day when we were shopping so we picked out a new potty seat that day and have been encoraging him to use it regularly throughout the day, but we will NOT turn it into a power struggle like we did his older brother. He wants to be out of diapers before his baby brother is born this December and I think he might come close to doing it. He is just really interested in not having the inconvience of needing to be changed.
1 Vote
I introduced the potty to my son when he was 18 months old. I let him explore the potty and play with it for a bit, since it was the kind of potty that played music as an reward for going in the potty. So, I put him on the potty and told him that soon he will have to go into the potty. I didn't push him or anything. When he went near the potty he wanted to try on his own. It was a hit and miss as expected, but I always told him, "Maybe next time. Its okay to have accidents." He smiled and went about his day. When we moved to our new apartment, shortly after he turned two, he started wanting to use the potty from time to time and was wearing pull-ups instead of diapers. As soon as I got him into daycare/preschool, I went out a brought him training pants (the cloth ones) and his first pack of underwear. I started to notice he was able to stay dry all night long, without wetting his pull-ups. So I notified the teachers that he was in the mist of potty training and asked if they could encourage him while he was at school to use the potty. So one night in December, I asked him, "Do you want to wear your pull-ups or underwear (while holding each item up, for visual) - he choose the underwear! I cannot tell you how nervous I was since it was his first night sleeping in underwear. The next morning he woke up dry and went straight to the potty and we celebrated. After that, he said, "No more pull-ups, I like underwears!" He was two days from being two and a half and we just celebrated his first full year potty trained and he will be four in June!
1 Vote
Your son will let you know when he's ready. Let him watch you use the potty, also we read him books about using potty, our sons favorite is Duck Goes Potty by Michael Dahl. Once our son seem like he was ready, we put him in big boy underwear during the day. He had a few accident but got the hang to go in the potty. It take a lot of patience and time. One thing we've learn is don't push him.
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Kat - commented on Mar 24, 2012
My son is 4 and is stubborn as all get out. He's ending his 3rd week wearing underwear and does have a few accidents. What drives me nuts is the fact that he sometimes goes poo poo in his underwear and then tells me. He has gone a few times #2 in the potty. I'm wondering if he feels it or not since he is ADHD!!! Would that have anything to do with it??
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Leah - commented on Apr 26, 2012
Kat - at that age he's fully aware and it sounds more like boundary testing, and testing your consistency. I'd have a day completely nude, reiterate that poop and pee go "here" , make sure he is part of the clean up if there is an "accident" If he is used to you coming within 2 seconds of him saying , mom I'm poopy, he's taking advantage of you. Straight up! They are smart and manipulative little people. Underwear is a lot like a diaper, try going commando, poop feels a heck of a lot grosser smooshing down ones leg than kept nicely at your bum .... that comfort feeling we get them used to by using diapers right!
1 Vote
With my son rewards diddn't work, he could care less. Potty chart systems worked for a short amount of time, he would go if naked, but if he had any sort of clothes or underwear on he just wouldn't care. He was motivated by the freedom and experiences that being potty trained would provide for him, like going to certain classes, preschool, the playground at ikea. The idea of being a big boy was far more important to him thahn a piece of candy or small toy. The same rule applied with nighttime training - getting the real big boy bed (not the toddler bed he was in) was major to him.
Routine was also very important with the nighttime training. No liquids after dinner (about 1.5 hours before bedtime), potty before bed, i would wake him up at the same time every night, twice a night in the beginning) moving to once a night later on (the time moved around as his bladder control gort better), my husband would wake him early in the morning for potty before he went to work.
It took a while, probably a year all told, he started showing interest around 2.5 yrs, and took until around 3.5 to be completely trained (nighttime included), in retrospect i think i could have saved some time if I had been quicker to realize what really motivated him
1 Vote
Explain in a way he understands
Some boys really need their dads
to show them first.
Make it a fun time ;keep in my he still does
not know what that is hanging down in a potty
;he's use to pullups .
Not put on the potty tape ,go online you can
find the Potty Tape real nice .
Reward but you must explain why your giving
reward .
Sit with your child read a book or sing songs.
Make sure you don't instil fear .
Routine is best ;same times each day a must
You must train togeather .
Seems nasty but some times you have to take him to see
what you do in toliet ,Children learn by sight.
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Paulette R - commented on Oct 31, 2011
Add a commentToys R Us Pottty Tape is near VCR cassette tape at Any kids Store or online
1 Vote
They will let you know when they are ready. With my son I knew he was physically ready because when he didn't have a diaper on, he would tell me to put on his diaper so he could pee. Also, if he started peeing without the diaper he could stop it mid stream, but he had no interest in the potty. His doctor said he had to be mentally ready as well and to not push it. A couple months after his 3rd birthday, he put underwear on 1 morning and was potty trained ever since. He never had an accident, and we even had a family party the first day he was in underwear. My sister kept trying to motivate my nephew and it backfired, he fought her all the way and wasn't potty trained until just after his 4th birthday. Just stay patient and follow his cues.
0 Votes
I potty trained my boy, and daddy potty trained the girls , how that happened i don't know. But I had him start off aiming at froot loops. I had him do that in the bathtub because he enjoyed playing " sprinklers". He associated the bright colored froot loops, and I moved them to the toilet. No diapers after that..
0 Votes
This is a mountain that a lot of boys like to die on. However, they get over it sometime before they start kindergarten. Don’t stress about it.
0 Votes
my son would run a mile when he saw a potty so we waited until he was tall enough to stand at the toilet before we started training him. As he has Autism training is taking some time but by the time he was 3 he had him #1 trained by asking him to make bubbles down the hole (he absolutely loves bubbles) if he is really engrossed in what he is playing with we may still get accidents but that is usually about 1 a month now. With #2 we are still working on with him as we only found out recently he has some bad food allergies that were causing constant diarrhea for him so he is still learning the sensation of needing to do a #2 but we have started having some success recently. We just keep asking if he needs to do splashes down the hole
0 Votes
I wish I knew...I'm on my 3rd boy to potty train (his older brothers are twins) and he has been BY FAR the most difficult. He knows what we want him to do and he says "maybe tomorrow". Totally a control thing on his part.
So, once in a while I reintroduce the concept to him. But I've learned not to force the issue. He'll do it when he is good and ready.
Good luck!
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Kristin - commented on Sep 26, 2012
I'm happy to say that almost 3 months after I posted here, my youngest son is now fully potty trained. He just decided himself that it was time, and now he's doing everything--daytime, nighttime, #1 and #2 without incident. His brothers were the same way. I just kept asking him if he wanted to go, showed him what to do, and he would always respond "not today". Well, one day he said "ok Mama!" and off we went! Good luck everyone!
0 Votes
My son tells us when he wants to go to the potty. He will take his pants and nappy off and sit on the potty and that is it. He has going wee on two occasions and we have cheered and rewarded him but that is it. He will not wee now, he just sits there for a few minutes and then asks for a lolly are a reward. Has anyone got any suggestions on what to do next?
0 Votes
i can ask my 18 mth old if he has poop and he will say yes sometimes i pick up on him trying to go and i ask him are you pooping.and he says yes. does that mean he's close to potty training. i do explain to him that big boys go pott in the toilet and he comes in with me or opens the door while my husband is going. i havent discouraged it because he is so curious i figure it would help him get ready, right? im not aure about how to know if he is ready or not
0 Votes
maybe he isnt.ready yet or try him on the toilet there are seats that go into the big toilet.my little girl hated the potty it only took two 2wks to train her on the toilet
Good luck
0 Votes
Cheerios in the toliet make great target practice!
0 Votes
My male friend, said the best thing is putting cherrios in the toilet and telling him to aim.
0 Votes
My boys around 13months started using the fisher price royal potty, at around 18months+ they started using a urinal I bought a plastic one from. Hong kong it was great by the time they were two they went standing up!
0 Votes
my son is great with going to the toilet for a wee but when it comes to the number 2 he doesnt want a bar to do with it he starts kindy in july and i am getting concerned. he also still wets his nappy heaps at night tried alot of things nothing seems to work he just screams and wont stay on toilet long enough to do anything comes off of toilet and within 5 minutes he has done it. Please help i am stuck at what to do next?????
0 Votes
HELP ME LADIES!! I son now pee-pee in the potty with no problem.But "number 2" he will not.. /he will hold it til I put his pull-up on at bedtime then go... DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
0 Votes
With great Difficulty!!! Seriously though,there are a few ideas that you can try,to make the experience fun,or interesting for your child.I used to read a story,to my son,as he sat on the potty.
The key too,is to not put them on there,every 15 minutes,or to make them sit for a lengthy period of time.Sometimes I would put the potty in front of the television and put 'Baby Einsteins'on,as he sat there,or you could try hand puppets,that are only used at potty training time,that sing songs to him,or tell him stories.A stamp on the hand,as a reward,for 'success',or a treat,of some kind,to motivate,a child,to want to 'do it',is always a help.A great one,for when boys finally make it to the toilet and to help them to aim,into the toilet,instead of weeing all over the floor,is to draw a smiley face,on a ping pong ball,float it in the toilet and to get them to aim for it.The ball wont flush and it makes the experience fun!!! Goodluck!
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Stacey - commented on Feb 2, 2012
I like the ping pong idea as well as sitting the potty in from of the tv. May sound crazy but whatever works and I think Barney or Wiggles could help my son.
0 Votes
I made a pirate themed potty chart and put various small rewards along the way to the X that marked the spot to his treasure, the big reward. Ultimately, he just needed to be totally ready, then it was easy.
0 Votes
Consistency. Boys OR girls. It's about the parent being on top of it. My daughter was trained at 22 mths. My son at 26 mths. There was no tricks. Just me being on top of it, consistent and lots of positive reinforcement. I really don't believe in the "they'll just go when they are ready" ... You have to introduce otherwise how are they going to know? Just like everything else we teach them. JMO
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Nicky - commented on Sep 4, 2012
I think they mean..introduce it.. but you can't force them to to actually wee...like they say..you can lead a horse to water....I have a girl and a boy and the girl was always way ahead of us and wanting to run before she could walk and my boy is just a cruiser and does in his own time...Same Parents.....Same parenting skills(consistent and positive BUT.......different personalities.
0 Votes
My son is four years old, and he is still not potty trained...We are working with him on it, but it's pretty touch and go. I do admit that my husband and I need to get into more of a routine with it. But he has gone a few times in the potty and we made a big deal about it. We let him know how proud we were of him for using the big boy potty...These answers are rather helpful to me because I am getting really tired of changing pull ups...
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Kat - commented on Mar 24, 2012
My son is 4 1/2 and he's on his 3rd week of wearing underwear. It just takes time and patience. I would make him go every 30-45 min and there are times that he doesn't have to go but it will get him to want to go.
0 Votes
i had the same problem - i used a bribery / reward system - it was expensive but it worked. Find out what ur boy loves most of all (mine was cars, trains and trucks) and tell him that if he uses the toilet (and u see him do it) he will get a reward - what i did was give it to him every time he used the toilet for the first day, then reduce the amount of rewards as the days go on.
0 Votes
im currently trying to train my 2 and a half year old son and it is very frustrating since he will hide to go poo then call me after he has stuck his hands down his pants and has it all over his hands. i try not to react but how can i get him to use the potty instead? i put him on the potty after i cleaned him to let him know thats where he needs to go but he sometimes just runs away. is he not ready? hes showing the signs and he has potty videos and books and songs and stuff but it seems like hes still a bit unsure. also, for peeing, should he start sitting or standing and holding it? heeelp! thanks :)
0 Votes
i put a stool next to the potty and he got up on it and used it and we also had to bribe him with a hot wheel car we would buy a whole bunch off hot wheels and i gave him one at a time wen he would go to the potty
0 Votes
There are different types of toke economy/rewards that i have used when i have worked in schools and as with Learning disabled children etc.
Praise is a good reward, it is ok to give children treats at times but people have to remember they are not dogs and work completely different. Children will expect such things and it can make things worse. If used to start a routine its ok, but make sure its not every time they go that you treat them, other times praise them, clap and be encouraging.
Its been 3-4 days and my son is 23 months old, hes had a few accidents but can use the potty really well. Our problem is how to get him to tell us he needs the potty but have been advised that this will come in time.
We ask him often do you need to go potty? You need wee wee/poo poo?
If he has an accident he will go ''uh oh'' and come to us and we clean it up.
I use token economy psychology and anti-smacking behavioural conditioning techniques and theyre working great, we just need him to tell us when he needs to go.
We praise him all the time he goes and we dont react when he has accidents, i am disabled so restricted mobility so my husband cleans up etc, but i am actively involved with all the teaching and playing and non-physical areas. Hes a happy child and shares and is well behaved. If he goes to open the door he looks at me for permission, we had to use other techniques so i could be in control of my son without having to move from where i am sat. Its worked well.
Were just hoping we can get him potty trained soon, he wears nappies for bed and to go out places when we go out but were using the no pants no nappies theory, where he has no bottoms on at all and it is working well for him.
Any tips or help, or any ways we could get him to tell us when he needs to go would be amazing and appreciated.
Many thanks.
Sarah x
0 Votes
Definitely think every child potty trains at a different age..before I had my own children, I nannied and potty trained a little girl at 17months. With my first, my son wasn't interested until he was 26months. Pretty much did it the same way with a few differences. Planned to stay home for a few days and got rid of diapers all together. I never used pull ups because, to me, I felt it was just a "bigger" version of a diaper. I took my son to the toilet every half hour to hour all day long...threw some cheerios in there for him to aim at and make it a little game. He loved it. I haven't had any issues. Once I took the diapers off, I never put another one on him, even at night...just made sure I didn't give him too much liquid at night, and always made him pee before bed. Never had a wet bed!!
0 Votes
let them stand up and do it with a stool. They love aiming that thing especially on trees.
0 Votes
All kids are different. I used to babysit my neighbors son, and he was pushing 4 by the time he was fully potty trained. It got to the point that I finally asked him one day why he peed in his pull-ups and he told me that it was just easier than going on the toilet. After that, I stopped changing his pull-up and made him do it himself. He didn't like that too much and decided that he would rather pee on the potty instead. My son, however, was fully potty trained by 2 years. I was actually quite shocked at how quickly and easily he potty trained. He did the 3-day potty training which was a huge start on potty training, but he was not fully potty trained in 3 days. He likes to pee like a big boy, so we let him do that from the start and never pushed sitting down (except to go poop). Also, he would get a reward every time he did good on the potty, such as a matchbox car or a sticker. He really liked that, but it got expensive, so we switched to watching a favorite movie or getting to play outside. Whatever the reward, just make it something he really wants and gets to have it right away. Also, perhaps letting him see his father pee, I have heard helps. My husband was a bit uncomfortable with that, but we tried it once and only once, because after that, he kept telling everyone that his he had a little pee-pee and his daddy had a big pee-pee!
0 Votes
We got a re usable chart from Once Upon A Child with re usable stickers!! I really just had to be home for my son, consistent, brought lots of clothes with us every where, and wait until he was truly ready. We are all so quick to want them potty trained at 2, and that is just not realistic for every child.
0 Votes
Good advice Courtney...main thing is to NOT make a big deal, pressure felt by him & can cause all sorts of problems in life. Remember they 'will' learn...we all do, so don't stress about it. Make it fun, make it a big deal, I am not sure about treats I am afraid, however the positive 'fun', proud attitude, clapping etc always works, they want to please ultimately. With boys I have found they love 'different containers' for urinating..different bottles (as a challenge, they love it) starting with an ice cream container..if they don't like potty...same for all training...even less stress with No.2's...show pride..extra size toilet adapter works better than potty I have always found & heard..potty itself can seem to delay things..be natural...when so young it is fine infact a positive help is to see you going to have a wee...& even be excited about that...and ask if they want to do it...like as if its fun, & natural & carefree, especially with boys. Go by your instincts...don't ever worry about what others say/or advise..if it doesn't feel right...don't allow yourself to feel any pressure..this HELPS your children with everything...Mother of 33 yrs..Julie.
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Michelle - commented on Jan 24, 2012
We're having problems with number 2's.....my three year old son doesn't want to make a splash or a plonk....and although he likes to use the toilet for number 1's - having him with undies on he likes to wee on the garden or the grass or the concrete....and threatens to wee on his big brothers. Because he's so tall - he can now stand and wee.....but we just can't get that plonking happening.
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LeAnn - commented on Jan 25, 2012
Michelle - we are having the same problem. My 31/2 yr old will pee in the potty at home and school - but pooping - nope. He keeps telling us he isn't tall enough and he will poop when he is older. He even changed his pooping time to before daycare and after daycare. He has always gone with us to bathroom - even to poop - I guess he just isn't ready.
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Amanda - commented on Feb 1, 2012
I have three boys, my youngest will be three in April. If I have learned nothing else from being a parent, I have learned that all children are different. There is not one trick that is going to work for all children, you just have to know your child and do what works for him and you. He'll let you know when he's ready. My youngest isn't potty trained and I don't force him to go, if he wants to go we go, but if he's not ready to do it, then more than likely he's not going to.
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