How do you remain emotionally stable?
Being a mom can sometimes feel like a roller coaster. What are ways you keep it all together when times get tough?Unfollow
have a stiff cocktail and take a deep breath.
The first thing one can do is pray and to look up for God to guide in the situation. Remember, take one day at a time and when that is too much then take one second at a time! Even though you feel like you are going to scream remember "this too will pass"! I have raised 3 girls to the age of 22, 24, and 29 and even now there are days I have to follow my own advice! But, I look back at all the days I had to be in three places at one time and I would do it again right now! God bless!
I trust fully in GOD. Give him all my worries. He loves my children more than I ever will. He loves me more than my parents or any man ever has!!! Trust in the Lord, he is the way, the light, the truth!!! Praise Jesus:)
I make sure that I carve out a little time at least once a week to do something that I love and have been doing well before I had kids. For me its mountain biking. It keeps me centered, builds my self esteem and I get a great workout. When I leave I'm ready for a break. When I come back I'm happy, relaxed and missing my little "bug, bug".
Its not easy, but one thing I have learnt about being a mom, is the love for that child which keeps you to stay focussed. The more you look at that child and tell him/her that you love him, the more the closer he becomes to you. Prayer is an essential, but the strongest tool is love. Remember God loved us first before we even knew he loved us. We fell from his grace several times, but he continued to reach out on us, until we realized of His exceeding and abundant love.
One word...ZUMBA! :)
Keep life in balance. Be sure to go for a walk, look at flowers, write in a journal, look at the sky and how light filters through trees. Get good rest and eat good meals. Don't skimp. Hire a sitter for a few hours so you get time to yourself to go out to lunch with friends, go to the library - or just read a book in a far corner or outside in the hammock. Remember dust and dirty clothes won't fade, but children will. They grow up and are gone all too soon.
By depending not on my own strength but leaning on Jesus Christ!
When my 3 were younger I belonged to a neighbourhood playgroup. Once a week we would meet at someone's home (all taking turns) with a craft and snacks for the wee ones, while all the Mums had coffee and shared their stories. It was a wonderful way to know that I was not alone and make some good friends! I also found that playing classical music in the background kept the kids calm (and me too!). Now that mine are older (18, 16, 12), I often use the mantra "I am stable, safe and secure" in addition to starting my Reiki certification. Finally, I have utilized some of the tips/information from the flylady.com site to keep me organized. If it's a really 'bad' day I think of the motto "Live life like a dog. If you can't eat it, And you can't hump it...Piss on it and walk away." ;)
Exercise! Without exercise I would be a complete train wreck both personally and professionally.
Look into their eyes and breathe. Hold them and breathe. This is the hardest job in the universe and nobody is perfect. We will disappoint ourselves time and again but it's important to recognize that our own behaviors will be mirrored by our children, so talk about it with them- don't blame them- only we are responsible for how we react. Time to self is KEY, but no one is going to make that time for you- you already feel like you have to do everything...this is just one more thing you HAVE to do, it will make all the difference in the world!
As tough as it maybe you have to just grit your teeth take a deep breath. One thing kids are good at is pushing your buttons to get you to shout.
That's it as April said do something that you love that keep you grounded. Basically TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND PUT YOURSELF FIRST. Your kids are not going to benefit from a frazzled martyr and they will not learn themselves to be grounded if you don't lead the way.
I totally rely on the Heavenly Father for strength and guidance each day. I feel like I am constantly talking to Him and asking Him about everything.
In addition to praying, I try to make sure I stay on some kind of routine each week. It seems to keep me emotionally stable because I know what to expect and my mind/body knows what to expect of me. Routine is important to me and I think its also important to my children - they seem to operate better off the structure of my days. I also take a gym class and I am a runner - those are my moments of relief.
But mostly - I pray. :-)
Being a mom of a 22 and 17 year old has had it's challenges. Best way is always act and not react. Talk rationally and keep your requests simple. Think about how you tackle things and minimize it by 50%. Always be respectful and mindful that you are the parent and can be there friend when they're 30! Take mommy time, they will thank you for it and you will appreciate them! When all else fails, have a cocktail and pray to Jesus for strength and wisdom!
Remember not to panic & Shout. Take a good breath and calm down & then plan what to do next according to the specific situation.
Having 2 boys sometimes when I hear them fighting & shouting there are times that I just ignore for a while (as long as I know they are not killing each other)and then slowly approach them & ask questions as to what happened & sort it out. If I react immediately its always with anger.
I also make sure I do my weekly walks & swim which really relaxes me.
I think all Mothers deserve some time of their own even with difficulty this is a MUST.
Move back to old memories and past experiences, find how those problems easily being solved; when times get tough and you don't even noticed. Look around and see for your self how lucky you are. Pray & thank God, Forgive yourself and listen to God's answers to your prayer.
I always felt my life was in chaos and out of control until I asked for help. Whether it's having a friend watch the kids so that I could do chores or errands or hire someone to help with the chores and errands, once I stopped the spinning world and took it back....I felt SO much better that I am so afraid to let thjings get out of control again, I make sure that I keep things in order and simple...and if I need help, I ask. This made such a difference to me, I went into business helping other overwhelmed moms as well. I go in do the initial assessment, cleaning and then organize things for them and in final, teach them how to keep it under control. I haven't had an unsatisfied client yet and my life has never spun out of control again. Take the first step...
Its true being a mom is tough! What keeps me going is my faith in the Lord to help me in everything in order to cope with it all! I pray, because prayer works! It provides balance!
I'm a mother of 5 adult children and a grandmother of five small children. I had 3 daughters 2 1/2 years apart followed by twin boys five years later (one very ADHD). We home schooled most of the time, so there were days that were really tough. Prayer was a contant, but somedays just overwhelmed me. I learned later the importance of making time at least weekly for myself to pursue something I loved and just for me. I found when I put that in practice, I was calmer, more relaxed and could sometimes find amusement in the situation that had previously totally stressed me out...
I also subscribe to the previous admonition that you have to remember "This too shall pass." but would add try to embrace the moment so you don't miss anything. Now, some of the best stories the kids like to talk about when they are all together as adults now revolve around what I felt was some of the hardest or worst times. TIme seems to fine tune perspective in a positive way if you remember to practice mothering with the love you have for your kids.
Be grateful. Let go. Breathe. Take a walk. But ... sometimes you have to have a good cry! (And a good girlfriend to listen to you complain! No worries, you'll have her back next time!)
Just yesterday I grabbed my daughter and told her that I was sick and tired of her behavior and she'd better straighten up. I have four daughters 18,16, and 12 year old twins and this was the elder of the twins. She and her 16 year old sister have been drama queens all their lives. I have health issues and when it comes to physcial discipline which I believe in, alot of the times when the situation calls for it I can't deliver but I will take away their previleges. Even with prayer and the fear of God, and your kids knowing what buttons to push you get backed against the wall. Out of all of this when I grabbed her and hugged her and told her that I loved her next to God and she needed to look at herself and realize that she is the biggest part of her problem alot of the time; she hugged back so hard and cried out to me that I love you moma and I'm sorry. The whole act needed to happen and it was an awakening for the both of us. Yes pray to God to guide your every word and action when it comes to your kids and your rearing of them but don't be afraid to let your children know that you're human and you're trying to be the best parent you can be but you need their help too. Bless you all and thanks for you're input and with me being bipolar I'm going to try and venture out and try to be more social and I'm going to try and exercise everyday. Thanks
Prayer and chocolate got me through those tough times!!
Not sure that I am, ha, ha! Actually, my three grown children keep me emotionally stable because I did such a great job raising them to be such wonderfully mature and kind human beings. I am told of this on a regular basis by people who meet them and know them well. I stayed home full time when they were young to be sure they were with those who truly love them, not strangers who are only with them for the money! I sacrificed the extra income and mental/emotional rewards for working outside the home. I shopped at the consignment stores and found cheap ways for entertainment. The park was a favorite place for us as well as pets to love and play with at home and the security of knowing we were all there for each other.
Two things never to lose...your temper or your sense of humor. Beyond that, hold to whatever faith you profess and just keep on keeping on.
Take a "mommy time out"! If only for five minutes! Set the timer on the stove and just sit down.
Everyone needs a breather and this will help you focus. I often just have a pad and pen around to write down what's going on. The children can draw how they are feeling. Then, regroup and respectfully share. Everyone listens, no one comments until mom says "how can we do this differently next time?" Lessons learned helps everyone focus on better solutions.
Then bless your children, remind them they are gifts from God and tell them you love them.
So glad to see so many other Moms leaning on God!! Believe He is where my help comes from!!Spending time with Him, through Quiet Tme, Prayer Time, Bible Time and asking His help throughout the day are what help me to raise a large family! Also having a wonderful church to go to and wonderful support help so much!!! I am learning that children are a gift to raise for Him! If we know that and are leaning on Him, He is going to eqipp us daily to do so!!
It's funny you should post this today after the earthquake some of us just experienced. I just found out after that experience, I wasn't emotionally as stable as I thought I was! Then I saw you post and thought how perfect for today! LOL! I ended up taking a few deep breaths to get my self centered again.
One thing that keeps me going with my three kids is the knowledge that, they do not have a fully developed brain. The things that they do are just experiments, and as they learn their brains get bigger and they learn not to be so emotional or have outbursts in public, or torment mom for fun.
The limbic system (or the limbic areas) is a group of structures that includes the amygdala, the hippocampus, mammillary bodies and cingulate gyrus. These areas are important for controlling the emotional response to a given situation. The hippocampus is also important for memory.
I don't! There are times when a good cry, primal scream or yell fest is simply called for. I'm human and can be pushed only so far before I have to let off some stress. (Shopping doesn't count.....)
Truly, it's OKAY to display emotion as long as you don't hurt anyone with it. Punch a pillow, not a pal. Scream at the trees rather than your kids. It's perfectly allright!
I'm not always a serene, rational, calm person. I know few people who are. Some of the tricks.....pawn off the kids on Dad or an understanding friend or relative and turn up your music and dance. Sneak a candy bar.....a small one! Walk on a beach. Go yank weeds out by their nasty roots. Ruthlessly clean a closet. (Best make it yours...) Go practice archery or shooting or hitting the heavy bag, skip rocks on the beach.....get the agression out of your system.
Enjoy the ride...........as best you can. I've got six kids who survived my mothering and aren't too terribly warped.
If it is an immediate "in my face" situation, deep breaths to restore balance is best. For less immediate emotional challenges, I use prayer and meditation to see my way through. Sharing one's troubles with a trusted friend/confidant can also help to get a different perspective.
Meditation and help from mom kept me going all those years when the babies were small.Plus, I MUST add that help from hubby dear was so welcome.Instead of trying to prove something to the world, I asked him to help and he sure did.Ladies, ASK for help from ur hubby, there's nothing to prove out there.
With two kids one who is disabled, living on one income, gas prices, food prices everyday is a roller coaster!! God, exercise, healthy eating and friends/family help balance out my nerves! Well, not all family, just certain ones.
Sometimes I just stop and take a deep breath and sing the refrain to "Jesus Take The Wheel" by Carrie Underwood in my head. This song has given me so much inspiration and reminds me that God can help us get through anything if we ask Him...including the stresses that often come with motherhood.
Trust yourself and your own judgement. Ok so in this parenthood world we will make some wrong decisions, when it happens don't dwell on it, just work with it to turn it around. Give my baby a cuddle, going cycling with my 2 yr old and also without him for a great de-stress, Exercising gives me some 'me' time and gets rid of any frustrations that they day has thrown at me. Talk to my own mum! If I really feel like I need a cry put a girlie film on and cry at that then its all out of the system. Best of all is sneaking into my 2 yr olds room and just looking at him sleeping, knowing that I did that, I grew him, I brought him into the world, I am raising him and teaching him, ME, just lil old me.
I don't! I am a mom that also has Multiple Sclerosis & I don't know how i'm still here!!!
Trust GOD will all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Make sure that you always set aside time for yourself so that you won't lose yourself in raising your children. Even if it is 1/2 hour a day make time for yourself. Make sure you have adult conversation girlfriend talking together always helps. Swap stories, have lunch or dinner and just be you. Laugh a lot and I agree with one of the other moms say I love you all the time to your kids. Raising children is not the easiest thing to do but it can truly be rewarding.
Tel....123....321....diep inasem en uit......
Gebedjie.....God help altyd...
Kalm bly....beweeg in hulle wereld in.....jy sal sien jy kry baie meer reg....
Just remember - EVERYTHING is a faze! GOOD behaviour and BAD! ive got 3 boooootiful kiddie winks 5yrs, 3yrs and 1 and a half!
Also - DONT feel guilty for wanting time out for yourself - I used to not like leaving my children (SAHM) BUT gradually learnt that time away from me is also very beneifical for THEM, as well as time away from them is - for ME!
Kids are not kids for long - ENJOY IT!!
oh, also EXERSIZE and CHOCOLATE!!!!
Pray Pray Pray