How do you stop co-sleeping?
What are some tips for a smooth transition from co-sleeping to putting your baby in their own crib?
My oldest son is 4yrs and my youngest son is 2yrs, they both love to sleep with us, just for the skin to skin contact I think. I nursed them both, and practically eat them alive with hugs and kisses, so the sense of security and self-confidence grows from that contact. Don't severe it too quickly, you cant get the time back, and they will become strong confident men someday. I know the spouses don't like it, but your kids will grow up and leave, but your husband will still be there, foster your closeness with your husbands during the day, and make little sprigetts of time for kisses in the bathroom, or a tush grab here and there, to let them know you still find them attractive and want them just the same, do quickies here and there too, to satisfy the night time urges while your kids end up between you, then he wont complain soo much.
I have 9 children and have co slept with them all. I can tell you that no where on a job application or a college entrance exam will this question come up so feel free to relax about the timing of this. All of my children have transitioned to sleeping on their own....except the youngest but she sleeps on a pallet on the floor in our room...it is really a space issue in our home. We do not try to get them to go into their own bed. Usually I move them onto a pallet in our room around 2 and then they go into their own room very easily. I can tell you that sometime around 7 - 9 they will start to come back in at night for some reason and then they totally stop and we never see them again in the night. Just so you know, my oldest is married and I have 2 others who have graduated from high school as well as 1 still in high school and then the 5 others who are in junior high and under to 3 years.
My little one made the transition from mum and dad's room to her own room a month ago. It went really smoothly, in fact I was more concerned about it then she was. I started by sleeping her in her room of a day time for a week or so and once she had no problems there I added the night time sleep as well. I haven't had any issues at all.
We transitioned from co-sleeping at about 8-9 months with our son. Co-sleeping was great for us, and very easy with night nursing, but at that point, he just started moving around too much at night for any of us to be comfortable. So, into his crib he went. All three of us (mom, dad, and baby) really enjoyed the extra room! The first month or two, either daddy or I would lay with him until he fell asleep (we have a daybed in the nursery) and put him into his crib after. The next couple of months, one of us would hang out in his room (he in crib, us on daybed) with him until he fell asleep. He's almost 15 months now, and has been putting himself to sleep on his own for almost the last two months. We have a little nighttime routine we follow, and then I tell him it's time to go to sleep, and put him in his crib with his bink, a blankie, and some music playing. Rarely do I hear a peep after that, and he sleeps almost 12 hours.
My daughter was nursed for two years and slept with us for about a year and a half. We transitioned her to her crib which was in our room just before she was one and a half years old, then at two years moved the crib into her room. We never had a problem transitioning. I always figured she had the warmth and security of being with us and when the time was right, it was right. No problem.
We're breaking the habit now. My little one is 6 months and just started to sleep better when we weren't in the bed with her, so I knew it was time. She nurses to sleep and then I put her down, I've learned that putting her down quickly and confidently helps her stay asleep after the "falling" feeling. If she wakes up to nurse once, I nurse her and put her back in the crib. If she wakes a second time she comes into the bed with us for the rest of the night. slowly I'll start putting her back after the second waking, and then the third, and so on (since she's used to nursing ALL NIGHT, I don't know how many times a night she actually wakes up to nurse). I, too, started doing nap time in the crib instead of the bed before putting her in the crib for night time.
Hello! I co-slept for 10 months and my son would wake up every 40 minutes to nurse. Exhausted, I started a sleep-deprived mommy support group and eventually found some solutions for my family. I moved my baby to his own bed and then started helping other moms in the same boat as me. Since then I have helped countless other families. There is hope!
I started a sliding-scale sleep training consultation business after helping many families get the sleep they needed.
sweet dreams pdx offers customized sleep plans that you can feel comfortable with and follow up email and phone support. You are not alone!
I work with all types of families. I offer help with co-sleeping, night weaning, transitioning to crib, sleep training, re-training after sickness or traveling
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We didn't co-sleep as such but we drove for two weeks to move interstate and my 17month old ended up sleeping with us for the duration. After we arrived at our new home, she slept in her crib and we got her a toddler bed at 18.5months. Our problem is that now she doesn't want to sleep without us.
She naps with either my husband or myself during the day and then as soon as she wakes up at night she runs into our bed. She is now 29 months old and is doing the same thing.
It has made it so hard for both us and our daughter to stop napping with her during the day and for her to stay in her own bed all night.
It is beneficial for babies and parents to be close, but I think that we are now having more problems.
A friend with a child 7 days younger than our child, has never co-slept and now her son has his own bed he is also refusing to sleep in it and screams until he is allowed into his parents bed.
I think it is"damned if i do and damned if i don't."
I have been told to just be tough and make them stay in their own bedrooms like Jo Frost "Supernanny" directs, to stop cosleeping but it breaks your heart to hear them cry :(
when i sleep i need my space so sleeping with my daughter and my husband was out of the question. from the moment she came home she slept in a pack n' play next to my bed, at 8 months i put my daughter into her crib, and at a year and half she was in a toddler bed. i felt that she'd grow to know she sleeps in her bed and we sleep in ours. she did have some trouble being put down in her crib to fall asleep on her own but i believe in the cry it out method and within a week she was being put down without a fuss.
I wasn't trying to, but when we moved from Oregon to Washington, my daughter had to sleep with me until we got a 2 bedroom place, she hated it, and was eager to get into her own bed. It kind of made romance impossible when she was there. too
We transitioned our daughter from co-sleeping, with a co-sleeping bassinet or just holding her, to her own crib at 2 months. The earlier you do it the better. She went from a crib in our room to her own room at age 4 months. And then from a crib to a toddler bed at 18 months. Each transition is best done quickly and early. The longer you put it off and the longer you let it drag out (by giving in, breaking the consistency and allowing them back to your bed, etc) the worse the "break" will be. That's what we discovered anyhow.
My daughter just turned 4 this month and it seems like every night i have to be in the bedroom with her in order for her to go to sleep and then sometimes if she wakes up in the middle of the night i will go into her room and lay back down with her until she goes to sleep. However now she will come into my room after i go to sleep and i wont hear here and shes climbs into bed with me and i dont know it til the morning. I dont know if this is because she is having night mares or because she wants to be close to me. I am a single parent and she is completely a mommas girl. She has been going through seperation anxiety so bad that i cant go to work without her crying and i have to keep reassuring her that i will return. A part of me believes that her wanting to sleep with me is to just make sure that i am there. Please if u have any suggestions or advise i would greatly appreciate anything anyone has to say. Thanks
Ease them into their own space by letting them help decorate and getting them really excited about their new space and don't feel upset if they creep back into your bed fairly often. lol
I have 3, ages 15, 12, and 7. The older two wanted their own beds when they were around 8 years old. There were no hassles whatever, no battles. We had our own routine of reading and talking, and when they left, we all missed it so much that they still sometimes get ready for bed, grab a book and then sit on my bed and read until they're sleepy. The youngest kind of wants to share her big sister's room (we don't have enough bedrooms for everyone to have their own room) but her big sister, the 12-year-old, really needs to have her own little "den". So Littlest still is in with me, for now, until we move or she's closer to being a teen herself.
I'm not sure what the big push is to get babies into their own beds? My kids went through night terrors around age 3 like most kids do, but all they would do is wake up with a scream, see/feel their dad or I, and go right back to sleep. We've never had the bedtime fuss that is apparently normal in a lot of families. And I now have two teens who are just fine, and it didn't take any negative stressful incidents to get them there.
Interesting approach co- They are only young once embrace every moment you will find a less anal retentive, your rule timely mannered child. Just b - Dawn
I am a certified pediatric sleep consultant and with my clients who want to end co-sleeping I always recommend sleeping on a mattress on the floor of the child's room for just a few nights. Don't get stuck there though! There are many other details you would need to make this a successful transition, if you are sure that's what you want to do.
For other tips, "like" my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/tulsapediatricsleepconsulting
This is just my story--My daughter co-slept with us in an Arm's Reach co-sleeper bassinet until she was big enough to start crawling over the side. It was great for nursing, snuggling, and allowing for enough room for all 3 of us. We bought her a brand new full size bed which we had placed in her room before she was born. We also set up a crib in her bedroom as well. Once she started crawling over the co-sleeper's sides, I went to bed with her, nursed her, in her full size bed in her room until she fell asleep. Then I placed her in her crib. When she woke in the night to nurse, I would do the same thing, lay in her big bed with her until she fell asleep and then place her in the crib. This never got us to a place where I could lay her in the crib and let her fall asleep on her own. She nursed until she fell asleep for nap and bed time. Then I would place her in the crib for safety. I did this every night and every nap. Sometimes I would sleep in her room to be able to change her or nurse her through the night. My husband slept much better and was able to get up and go to work in the early mornings. He and I had opposite days of being home with her. I stayed home with her on Tues and Thurs while he tauight his classes at a local college all on those days and I worked part time on M,W,F while he stayed with her. After she began to be able to get her leg over the side of the crib, we got rid of the crib. Her mattress and box springs are directly on the floor, we surrounded her bed with wall on one side and at the head, and pillows and blankets all around the bottom. I stopped nursing right after her 2nd birthday. She now goes to sleep in her big girl bed after a story and song and occasionally wanders into our bedroom with us in the wee hours. Sometimes after a nightmare or if she asks, she may sleep with us, or I will go to her bed to sleep. My husband now gets up and goes into her room in the night to check on her and remind her to go pee-pee or to change her night-time pull up if needed. I don't sleep with her except under special circumstances. This has worked out well for us and she loves her bed. She also knows we are just in the next room.
Oh I am so glad I stumbled on to this post. My son has been sleeping in bed with me since he was born. My husband actually slept in the guest room because he is such a light sleeper and needs to get up for work in the morning. I am bf and staying at home so I can sleep in with the baby in the morning. Since my son is now four months my husband wants to have him sleep in the crib now and my pediatrician also said he should be sleeping in his crib. I have been trying for the last week, but it's really hard and it seems like neither of us are sleeping. When he was in bed with me and he would fuss, I could just roll over or sit up and feed him and we could both go right back to sleep, now he actually has to cry so I hear him, I am then fully awake and so is he, he nurses and it's really tough to get him back in the crib. It seems like he wakes up every hour and I can't get him settled down. I feel better that I am not the only person who lets him sleep in bed with me. I know this wasn't an answer to the post, but I just wanted to comment. Also seeing all of these posts, I may let him stay a bit longer. Good luck to you.
My daughter is 19m, has her own room and a twin size bed that she can crawl in and out of. My husband works nights, so we co-sleep a bit. We'd gotten her to sleep in her bed and she'd sleep all night, but now she's at the point where, if she's laying in bed and I walk out of her line of sight, she screams. I'm a stay at home mom, taking only two evening classes, and she's with her Nanna for a few hours those nights. She's definitely loved, and knows it, but hates being separated. Lately if i'm in the living room at her bed time and she's screaming, i lay her down on the couch with her blanket and let her fall asleep there and move her to her bed after she's out. If she's wakes in the middle of the night, she's able to get out of bed and come find me, as I keep the bedroom doors open.
I have done different things with all 5 of my girls. The eldest slept in her cot from day dot. I had to "teach" her to self settle and resettle, it was hard but it worked. Easy enough with one. She had her own room, at 6 mths she and her cot came into our room because that was where the only aircon was and she woke frequently.
#2, well with a toddler hanging off me I took a different tactic and she was rocked and sung to sleep, we even did controlled crying but still slept in her cot in their own room. Sometimes coming to our bed, but not often.
#3, her cot was in with us until 6mths and she mostly slept in her cot. The hardest part was always getting her to fall asleep there.
#4 was in our bed and wasn't kicked out until #5 was well on the way. I night weaned her before the new baby came, but she came back when the baby arrived. I tandem fed them in my bed and we added the cot minus a side so someone could transistion there for more space. #4 did not like her bed at all and when we had enough of her being in our bed, she took up residence in the loungeroom for 12 months. She is now 4yrs and finally sleeping in her own bed.
#5 can stay as long as she wants. I now work nights, 11pm to 7am and she is fed to sleep then into the cot in our room, then DH puts her in with him when she wakes.
I will miss her when she leaves our bed. They are with us for such a short time, I want to have them close as long as possible. I remember a work collegue telling me her teenagers slept on her bedroom floor and thought this was rediculous, but now I'm thinking its not such a bad idea :)
i co slept with my first - the key to a successful transition is baby steps. first he slept with me thenn i had him in his basinette next to me then his bassinett was in the cot then him in the cot by himself. he transitioned really well.
My daughter cries every night when we take her to her crib in her room and does this for hours, the doctor said she will quit crying and it is getting a little shorter but I hate it.
My son is 21 months and my bf is on my ass about ending the co sleeping. I worry that it is more of a crutch for me than for my son at this point. I tend to sleep on the floor next to his toddler bed so that I am there if he wakes up. I know I dont need to because the few times I slept in my bed and left him in his room alone I left both doors open adn he came to get me when he needed me in the middle of the night. Should I just keep doing it that way and hope that he will learn to comfort himself as he gets older?
Both of my children were put in their own room by the age of 6 weeks, in a moses basket sat in their cot cos our room are right next door, and they both are brillant sleeper, my daughter who is 4 now did use to wake alot in the night but cos she has been use to sleeping in her own room she can comfort herself and fall back to sleep .
My oldest figured out it was better to sleep alone around 6 months when we went on vacation and had a king size bed. She loved the extra room and so did Mommy! My second we moved out about 6 months and the youngest was about 6 months. All were easy and loved the extra room. The 4 yr old and 2 yr old come to our room to sleep every now and then but most of the time they just want a drink and back to bed they go.
Don't let them do it in the first place! It's nice and cosy and safe in bed with Mum and Dad but they need to be able to sleep alone and in a separate room so that Mum and Dad get the bed to themselves and some time together on their own! My son is autistic and regardless of all of his anxieties we never, ever went down that route with him and would not have allowed it had he tried.