How does a 21 year old mom maintain a social life?

It won't be a normal 21 year old's social life, but how does a young mom still maintain a somewhat normal social life and still be able to stay close to her friends?

21  Answers

0 12

I was 21 when I got a child. With the help of my family i was able to cope and adjust from being single to a wonderful mom. Having a child was never a hindrance to continue my social life. Moms should learn how to budget their time for her child, hubby and for herself. We should choose friends that can help, give advice and understands motherhood. It would be great to ask hubby to accompany us every time we go out unless it's a girl's nigh out. How about asking your sister to join you or go out with your sister and her friends. Remember that your child is your top priority and always check on your budget. Make it sure that you reserve Sunday as family day, go to church, eat outside so you won't get bored and at the same time having a quality time with your family.

16
0 4

What is a "normal" social life for a 21 year old adult. I'm thinking it is the same for a 31 year old adult or a 51 year adult. Why do children prevent you from having a social life unless you go out, get blitzed and hook up. Then you have made the choice to be unable to adequately care for the child/children you are responsible for. My social life at the age of 21 was hanging with my husband, who is my best friend, and hanging with like-minded friends who were able to function fully the next day after an evening out without the babies.

6
3 20

Well I am 21 as this present moment and my daughter is five years Old and to be quite Honest I don't really have a social Life... I do go out SOMETIMES.. but when I do.. its after shes tucked in in bed.. that is my only way out to get my mom to baby sit.. lol.. But even when I go out I miss her so much im anxious to get back home to her.. I don't miss having a life like the rest of my friends because i'd rather be with her...... IF I do go out on date or anything its after she in bed... she goes to bed around 8.. but whenrever I do go out during the day I link up with people who have kids.. so the kids can play while we relax!

4
0 3

everyone deserves a little "me" time. it's ridiculous to say otherwise. not only is it good for you, it's good for your kid(s) as well. so don't let anyone guilt you into believing you don't deserve a night out every once in while. just as long as your child remains your #1 priority. I would say hangout with people in your same situation, but sometimes that's just not possible and that's okay, too. just remember, a good friend will always understand why you have to be home at a reasonable time, leave immediately if necessary, and call home frequently.

2
0 11

I was 21 when I had my 1st child. I worked where my friends hung out. That way I was getting paid to hang out with them and not feel so left.out!

2
1 32

I'm a 25 year old mother of two! Your social life most definatly changes, but you find out who your true friends are, and make many new ones aswell. Always make sure your kids come first, but try to set aside a few hours a week for yourself aswell!

1
1 7

You don't, and by the way, it's not about you anymore.

1
2 0

wow thats a bit harsh every person is an individual and needs time to do the things they enjoy it doesn't mean they are any less of a parent or love their child any less and funnily enough my social life does revolve around my child and he gets valuable socialisation whilst i do as well. having a child is growing experience and its ok to want that adult contact and socialisation on occasions doesn't mean she doesn't realise her life revolves around her child.

2 0

i no how you feel, i had a few very close friends before i got pregnant and had my one year old , and i never expected it to change my friendship with everyone of my friends but i did my closest friend and i no longer speak because she could not understand why i didnt like her coming around to my house and complaining about all of her intimate BF issues but on the other had its made me realise my life is different and as life changes so do your friends and the activities you enjoy i now have friends who do and dont have baby and with the ones that do have bubs of their own i organise play dates and coffee catch ups where i no our kids will be socializing and with the ones that dont i always make an effort to do things with them without my son but i do also expect that they understand that alot of the time its just not possible for me to leave him :) BTW im 20

1
12 0

I think it's accepting that your idea of a social life will change. I had my daughter at 21 and now, two years later, the people I was friends with before I'm not really now. The "novelty" of your baby wears off for them and they want to live the same life but can't understand d why yours is different. It's all part of growing. Doesn't mean you won't miss it, go crazy, want to scream, or just be "normal " sometimes. It's just about balance and adjusting

0
2 0

I'm a 21 year old single mom in college full time and I don't really have a social life. And if I do it's with other young moms and we just go somewhere with our kids. My sons 9 months old and I've only been out 3 times for something social since he was born. Everyone's different, but at the end of the day I'd rather have spent my time with my son instead of friends or a boyfriend.

0
1

no comment

0
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3 21

i always invited my friends to my housse to play cards,drink,watch movies and dinner when my baby fell asleep my kids were there but we was still able to have fun or get a babysitter once a week and go out,,if your freinds are true friends they will stay close with you regaurdless if you can party all the time or not and will be understanding to you having a child who needs you alot more then they do!

0
0 38

I am 21 I had my son when I was 20. I know the feeling. My son is my main priority he's with me all the time. My friends don't understand what's it's like to be on your own and have a family. I don't drink and hang out till early hours of the morning, I no that my son needs his mom. I can't give you advice because I'm in the same boat but don't let the people on here being hateful make you feel bad or like a failure! We are young mothers and are doing great raiseing our children!!

0
1 3

Tray to find some social clubs for moms your age. Then you have something in common and you can be social.

0
5 9

I personally support a couple of younger mums myself. I would suggest befriending some older mothers (who are less keen to kick their heels up) and that way maybe the first Friday or Saturday night of every month you child/ren could go stay with her and you get to go out and sleep in in the morning as well. Additionally you could start some of your own 'groups' at your own place and invite your friends around monthly or fortnightly for bible study, scrapbooking, or just a regular catch up. There is also a GREAT monthly group called Girltalk which is a worldwide movement focussed on developing our relationships with our girlfriends (http://www.girltalk.co.nz/ sorry don't know the worldwide web address) .... but basically you watch a short video (and if you can get hold of book, read a couple of pages form a book) and then chat about it with your girlfriends. Its awesome.

0
5 9

Here's an example of the monthly video you watch and discuss http://www.youtube.com/user/GirltalkNZ?blend=21&ob=5

0 0

Find girls who are in the same spot in life as you are. There are many great mommy groups out there. This way you're with people who can encourage you, rather than people who wish you were something you're not, and being tempted ourselves thinking life might be greener on thier side. Having little ones is a hard job, but such a rewarding job, make it easier by hanging out with people who support you rather than think it's an incovienance. All through life we have different friends that fit different periods in our life. It's actually really rewarding to make new friends at each stage in life, when we're old we'll be rich with friends. :)

0
4 8

I am 21 and I have a 3 year old daughter and a husband and I'm going into my senior year of nursing. I have two close friends who I see and talk to all the time. One i have known since kindergarten and she supported me through my pregnancy and I see her as often as our busy life's will allow. The other I met in college and I see her almost everyday of the semester. Neither of these girls have children and there are many things they do that I do not because well I have responsiblities, not only the need to function the next day but also the financial obligation that comes with having a family. I do not miss wasting money on partieing and do go out evEry. Once in a while, and I fel that is all I really need.

0
0 5

Well I'm not 21 but at times I do miss catching up having a late night coffee with my friends. Always wishing I could have some me time. But each time when I'm out i miss my kids. Now I hold dinner parties so I can still see my kids and have my friends at the same time. :)

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11 17

Well I was 17 when i had my first and you def. miss out on a lot, but your true friends will be there and work around you. I lost a bunch of friends, but my true close friends I see them all the time! one of those things it just kinda works its self out.

0
0 0

I am 23 and have a 6 month old. I definately found that some of my old "friends" are no longer close as I once thought they were. Mostly because I have changed as a person and they are mre worried about going out. I do try and go out once month with my husband but often I find that I want to hang out at the house and have people over. Its more comfortable and not about just drinking and partying. I have a ongoing date with one of my girlfriends that lives near me and we have a girls night about evry 2 weeks (if not every week).

0
1 3

Why not just have parties at your house it's easy you can get as drunk as you want you know your baby will be safe in your already baby proofed home and you can put her to bed at her normal bed time. I'm mean if all your looking for is balance between the two there's Bo better solution host the party and still be the mommy. Have fun have some drinks and still put the kid in bed win win. As far as the hang over goes drink plent of water the night before and take two Ty before you fall asleep or pass out ;) hope it helps

-1
0 0

A 21 year old should be in school instead having babies!

-5
2 0

I'm twenty and i'm doing both, walk in my shoes and then judge!

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