How does blogging help you deal with challenges?

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21  Answers

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it helps me hold onto all the magic that my amazing and unique life offers up.

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Blogging has become what I often refer to as my "electronic oasis". It gives me a place where I can simply get away from the pressures of everyday life and be refreshed by pouring out what's in my heart.

Since the tragic suicide of my husband in May 2011, blogging has been an essential tool in my grief process. Having the ability to be real about my journey down "Grief Road" and all it entails has not only allowed people to connect with me and help me through this difficult journey but has also allowed me, in turn, to provide support to others. My greatest healing has come from being able to help others as they heal from life's tragedies as well.

As a result, blogging has created a huge network of support going in both directions. This network has turned into many new and wonderful friendships and the journey of a lifetime from simply pouring the messages of my heart into words translated in this electronic format.

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Since Erin's death my blog has provided me with a space to talk about her short life and the journey that we took together, helping me to deal with my grief. It has also allowed me to share with others the work of some amazing charities and organisations that have helped us. In this way, blogging has allowed me to publically thank them for their hard work, which provides me with some comfort through my grief. It is also helping me to raise money for these great causes in Erin's name, as my gift to her.

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Blogging continues to give me the perspective, gratitude, and support I need as a Mom every day. I know I have a terrific community supporting me and writing keeps me grounded, focused and thankful. Here's to celebrating the Glass Half-Full!

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Blogging has always been my own form of free therapy. Taking the time and energy to sit and write allows me to organize my thoughts and feelings and usually I come out the other side feeling more at peace with where we are as a family.

Beyond that, it is my readers and the blogging community that I have become a part of over the last five years that truly helps me to deal with life when it seems to be too much. Those comments and outpouring of support mean more to me than I can explain.

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In the early days after Chris died, blogging was an easy way to keep our friends and family updated on how we were doing. Over time, I noticed that the blog became not just a vehicle for other people to understand our lives but also a way for me to explore my feelings about my grief.

I've always enjoyed writing and the blog became a way to work through the varied emotions I was feeling. Writing in general has been an incredibly important part of my healing process. Writing in a public forum has allowed me to touch other people in ways I never imagined. I have heard from other widows/widowers, people who have lost children, and family members and friends of those grieving. As an active reader of other grief-related blogs myself, I know how comforting it is to hear my own feelings reflected back at me and know that I'm not alone. I am so honored to impact anyone else on this journey. Helping others who come after me to find hope again is a blessing and helps motivate me to keep writing.

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Blogging helps me to deal with challenges as it is really serving as my on-line public journal of my real-time private life! Though I do strive to be transparent on my blog, I also desire to point others to Christ so that Rick's death not be in vain. If others are added to the kingdom through his legacy and my testimony, then I can see a purpose in all of this. So as I blog most days, I make myself look not only inward at what might have been "wrong" with the day, but I also look upward to see how many times God MET me throughout the day. It never fails, that as I turn my thoughts upward rather than inward, I am renewed and restored! God reminds me of all the little, and sometimes not so little, ways that HE has met me and carried me throughout that particular day. After Rick's death, I commented to my mom that I had always admired ladies who spoke at events, wrote books and/or blogged and had a "story" to tell. I always felt that my life was pretty normal and "boring" - raised in a Christian home, pretty good girl, never got in much trouble, never did drugs or drank alcohol, never smoked a cigarette . . . !! After Rick's accident, my mom said to me, "Well, now God gave you a story to tell, didn't He?" So, as I face the many challenges that are new to me, living "alone", being "alone", being a single mom, juggling 3 children, 2 step children, 5 grandchildren, a full-time job, and the day-to-day "living" that I must do, blogging has become my outlet! It seems that just putting things down on "paper" puts them into a better perspective - I can re-read what I've written and often I see things much more clearly. God has spoken to me through what I have written and I have seen my faith in Him grow in ways I never imagined. I learned that He really is my everything and He is up to EVERY challenge that I face. I think I've really been able to draw closer to Him through my daily challenges by putting them down in writing - and looking for the "silver lining" that DOES exist - sometimes it's just under thicker clouds than other times! I know that my challenges will change as time goes on and life moves forward. The challenges of today will be gone and replaced by new ones. I think that by being able to "blog" them, I'm able to be transparent, to let others see what is going on in my life. Sometimes, I am encouraged by others that my challenges are completely "normal" and a normal part of the process, and sometimes my challenges serve as a help to others. Either way, God is working - through the good, the bad, and yes, some days, even the ugly!

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Sharing my struggles with the Truth in Weakness community has become an avenue of redemption for those struggles. Because as I share my heartaches and struggles of life, others are taking the Truth in the story, and applying it like salve to their also-wounded souls. And so because I blog, my challenges are not the end of the story! They’re used for good in others’ lives.

I’ve also noticed that it has become a form of personal accountability for steering my thoughts in a healthy direction as I process the aches in my soul. Let me explain . . .

Read any post I’ve ever written and you’ll quickly notice that I’m fully committed to being transparent with my readers – in every. single. piece. Oh yes, they hear the good, the bad, and the {all-too-often} incredibly ugly. They get to walk life’s messy roads right alongside of me. Even better, we get to walk them together!

But I’m also committed to not leaving us there in the mess. Because that’s not the end of my story, and it doesn’t have to be the end of theirs. I want to help my readers know how to better process their pain, as I’m learning how to process my own. And so as I’m walking along life’s difficult roads, knowing that what’s in my soul will likely end up on the screen reminds me to find some nugget of good along the journey, some glimmer of hope, something to hang on to – even if only that Jesus loves me, this I know.

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I started blogging to help women who are widows deal with their challenges. When I was widowed in 2000, I didn't know about blogging, but I sure wish I had. Although I blog to help others, I find that my fantastic readers help me through many of my own challenges! For example, I'm remarried now, and my husband's employer announced three weeks ago that 300+ employees will lose their jobs in the next two months. We will have to move, but because of the friends I've made on Widows Christian Place, I can go just about anywhere here in the US and find I'll have friends there already!
Plus, I'm so inspired by my readers, their strong faith, and how every once in a while something so cool happens we know God speaks and God's hand is leading us. A lot of times readers tell me what they found on the blog was "just what they needed to hear" that day. When a widow feels alone and abandoned, she can come to Widows Christian Place and find out I'm there for her. I don't always comment on every comment, but I absolutely do reply to every personal e-mail. We talk about everything from eternal life, to doubting God, to wondering what's "normal." And of course, how will a widow get through this painful time.

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For me, blogging was first a journal for my husband and I to read about how I felt about my cancer diagnosis and treatment. When our daughter was diagnosed, I saw it as an opportunity to let family and friends know how we were doing without having to field a thousand phone calls each day. As I continued, I realized that sharing our story was helping to spread awareness of how horrible Neuroblastoma is, and how cancer really affects a family. I feel like no one was talking about how things really happened, how life was really affected by cancer and treatment. I wanted to share that with the world, along with how a positive attitude can help to make life with cancer more bearable. By being able to journal and blog and get feedback on my posts, it helped me work through the challenges of treatment, and focus on loving my daughter every day.

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My blog is about learning to cope and find joy when life doesn’t go as we hope, dream and plan (whether due to infertility, loss, illness and/or other circumstances).

Blogging helps me to deal with challenges by allowing me to process my thoughts and feelings through writing. But my blog is so much more than a public journal. Blogging gives me the opportunity to get feedback and support from those who read what I share. I appreciate when people comment on my posts and share their unique points of view. Sometimes getting to look at a challenge that I am facing from another person’s perspective can help me to deal with it more effectively.

Likewise, blogging helps me to connect with others who write about topics and experiences that I can relate to. Though I may not agree with everything they believe and share on their blogs, I like to see where they are coming from, as well as how they approach and work through difficult, uncertain and joyful times in their lives.

As a “wounded healer” I also find it therapeutic to know that I am able to help others by being so open and honest in my writing about my own personal experiences during and after our five year journey through secondary infertility and loss.

I began blogging in April 2007 in part to update some of our family and friends who had shown us, through their love and support that they wanted to share in our journey trying to expand our family. We dealt with secondary infertility and pregnancy loss for over five years (between 2004 – 2009).

At first I used my blog, originally called Three of a Kind Working on a Full House…, as a way to keep track of what happened during our Assisted Reproductive Technology cycles and then with our pregnancy/journey with our daughter Molly, who had a rare, severe and fatal combination of congenital heart defects and heterotaxy/left atrial isomerism. Molly was born and died in April 2008.

Amazingly we somehow conceived again on our own and our daughter Abigail was born with a healthy heart in September 2009. Soon after I renamed my blog to Four of a Kind. We feel so blessed and continue to try to take this journey one day at a time. I also like to share some on my blog about parenting our 8 year old son Sean, now 2 year old Abby and add other tidbits about our life and experiences.

After we lost Molly in 2008 and had Abby in 2009, I was in somewhat of a fog, still dealing with my grief, as well as balancing caring for our older son and newborn daughter. I did not blog much in 2010. In 2011 I found my voice again and have tried to prioritize writing, reading and commenting ever since.

In February 2011 I “came out” about my blog, which had always been public, but not everyone in my life was aware of. I experienced some growing pains since, but overall am glad I chose to be more open with my friends and family in real life about it. Earlier this year I moved from Blogger to Self-Hosted WordPress and changed the name of my blog to Bereaved and Blessed.

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Blogging helps me in two different ways to deal with challenges. First, it gets my feelings about subjects that resonate with me out where I can read them back to myself and reflect on what I am feeling. Second, it helps having my issues out there where my friends can read them and start conversations with me that help me process what I was feeling when I wrote the entry. Both of these help tremendously because it frees up my thoughts for (hopefully) more positive things!

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When my son Alexander was sick, keeping a care page helped me to decompress after a long day. I was able to write about his day, and not have to repeat the story over and over.
Since he died, my blog has helped me to get out many of the feelings I have been dealing with. I have been able to "speak my mind" about certain topics. I also hope that I am able to educate people in some way, on how to deal with a friend going through a bad situation.

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Blogging helps me put things in perspective, thinking through a post and sharing it, and then importantly getting feedback. The biggest challenge, following Joseph's birth at 27 weeks gestation, was getting used to the fact we couldn't have more children. I have done several posts, about how I will never have any more children, and specifically never have a daughter. I have also done posts on having an only child. Every time I post on these difficult subjects I am surrounded by love and support, which is just amazing. Blogging has helped me so much with personal challenges.

The other great thing blogging has done, is help me connect with other mums who have had premature babies, and helping them deal with challenges helps me too. I have also been able to use my blog to help charities in this field, and that's awesome. That makes the challenges I have gone through all make sense.

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Blogging has been an outlet for me in a lot of ways:
• It has allowed me to be a voice for my fellow survivors of domestic violence.
• I’ve been able to encourage others, which encourages me.
• I get to share my passions of interior decorating, being a mom and learning.

Being able to share these things helps me deal with my own challenges of being a working single-mom of a toddler, starting a ministry, advocating for the hurting and just living life!

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Blogging is a very cathartic process for me. I usually blog when I am feeling particularly overwhelmed and emotional about something. The feedback from readers and other widow bloggers is like having my own built-in support system. Being able to relate to others who have had very similar experiences helps me feel less alone in being such a young widow. It is particularly healing to read other blogger's posts and see that they are going through the same struggles that I am.

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Blogging has always been a way for me to keep track of life and to remember details I so easily forget. It's also a way for me to process my emotions in a way I'm unable to do verbally. When my husband died, writing became a way for me to organize my thoughts when nothing else made sense - a way to articulate what I couldn't outwardly express. And in some ways, releasing it - especially in a public way - allowed me to acknowledge those challenges, face them, be accountable for them, and heal from them. It helps, even in the smallest way, to know someone is reading and maybe you're not alone.

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Blogging helps me speak my mind. I don't always talk to others about my feelings. My blog is my therapist. It's an outlet for me and helps me get past rough times in my life.

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Blogging has really became my very own form of therapy. It has allowed me to deal with the single most difficult challenge so far in my life. When I am having a bad day and worrying, i often take to my laptop and start writing. Everything becomes clearer, less scary and sometimes even funny. I also gain strength from knowing that others are taking something fruitful away from every entry and i am touching people through my story. What better way to turn a negative into a positive!

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I think everybody needs a way to express feelings and emotions. For me, I need to write. It's something I've enjoyed and, since Ben's birth, something I've needed. Blogging has given me an opportunity to minister to others by how we deal with challenges. My ultimate goal is to encourage readers. It's important for me to be real and showcase those raw emotions. Everybody has a story. I'm just sharing ours with the world.

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Since I first started blogging in 2005, blogging has been a great way to share experiences and feelings with my readers. As I've dealt with the challenges of an attempted adoption from China, life as a newlywed, infertility, a cancer diagnosis and fight, widowhood, grief, a difficult pregnancy, and now life as an only parent, blogging has given me a platform to express my fears and my victories.

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