How to handle conflicting feelings when you need some me-time

Everyone needs a little time to themselves, but being a mom is a 24/7 job, and some moms have trouble dealing with guilt feelings over wanting to get away for a little while. What is your best advice for moms who are having trouble shifting their focus for a bit?

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3  Answers

6 0

Today is a PERFECT day for me to answer this question. My birthday was Friday and because of my husbands work schedule we deferred celebrating until yesterday. Initially I was angry because he gave me TWO days at a hotel free of our home and our two wondeful children. I thought if he and I weren't going to spend the day or night out then I didn't want to do it. Boy was I wrong I am having a very good time in fact. I told him since we weren't going to spend the time together that I would take one kid each day and have some alone time with them. Of course I felt all kind of guilt for leaving for 2 days but I need this very badly.

Our children don't go to a babysitter and we don't get time alone often so it's just us and the kids. When I'm off of work I feel like my vacation becomes my husbands vacation and I am 100% responsible for the kids. Having this time away has felt great. They did come to take me out for breakfast but then took me back to be alone.

If you have a spouse that will do this for you don't fight it like I did. Take it and enjoy!!!

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48 1

I agree with Katie. Well said. Its important to get refreshed. I had just delivered my second baby and had absolutely no one to help me. So i sent elder child to daycare all 5 days for few months so i can tc of my younger one. Not for long, jet from 11 am to 4 pm. Even that much time makes difference. Not that i got a brake lol but it helped me to concentrate on both at different times. Now my kids help me by having different sleep times lol. I can sit one on one with both one after the other. and also have family time. BUT, the way i give myself time is after they sleep. Even if I'm tired, i make sure i do something i like for a while. Sometimes i just wanna cry as i miss their dad, i do that. It helps. :) Now i have stopped sending my elder one so both r with me 24/7 but i manage to give myself time in the night somehow. It helps me. Hope this helps. Goodluk and u r doing great.

36 0

Why should there be guilt in getting a bit of alone time? I think it is important to get a way and refresh one's self. Many moms don't want to give up control and allow others to take care of their children, and this includes the child(ren's) father. Really? In society we all have to learn that there are rules for different situations and also with different people. Kids need to learn that we all do things differently and its ok to be with other people and take direction from them. By hovering, we are teaching our children that no one else can help/caretake. We are teaching them to be insecure with others. I lost my husband to cancer when the kids were 11 months and 6 years old. The 6 year old has autism. I chose to expand my circle and allow people to help me and to help them. My kids are well rounded and also have an idea of who are good people and who are not. They have gut feelings that are pretty accurate. For those who are hesitant to let fathers parent: My best friend said to me when I had my first son "let your husband parent or you will end up being a lonely single mom in a marriage". So go out and enjoy the alone time if you are lucky enough to get it. It might be uncomfortable at first, but just do it. You and your kids will be glad when you come back refreshed.

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6 0

Shelley for me it isn't about control because my husband stays home with our children during the day while I work and I with the kids while he works. The guilt comes from the limited amount of time a working mom gets to spend with their children that I just feel guilty for spending time alone...but like I said earlier I got over it. Thankfully!

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26 0

Realize that taking this time contributes to your sanity, and your baby needs a sane mommy! I need to take my own advice sometimes but it really is important. You need to take time and renew yourself to be in the best state of mind for your baby, remember they can feel your emotions whether it be frustration, anxiety, fear, happiness, etc. it really is vital!

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