Is it OK for someone else to spank your child?

40  Answers

6 52

No it's not, but I do remember being corrected by another adult if they saw me doing something wrong.I really do believe that we mind our business way too much though. In my neighborhood if I see a kid doing something they shouldn't,i do say something but not in a threatening way, but in a loving way. They respect me for it! Parents can't be there 24 hrs a day with their kids. It takes a village to raise kids, these kids are our futures, we should be just a little more involved on their upbringing whether it's our kids or not!

18
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

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17 14

No way.. someone on the other post regarding spanking said she works in a daycare and that the parents know she spanks as a last resort.. I told her no way would anyone be allowed to do that to my children, and she would have her daycare closed if she lived here.

12
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

215 1

As I am TOTALLY anti spanking a child aka hitting it ... NO it isn't ok for anyone to hit my child! [erm .. I can't hit YOU .. but I can hit a child ?? WHAT ??? ] Believe me ... there would be TROUBLE .....!

11
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

5 15

I think the right for someone else to spank your child should be reserve for close relatives and family friends. My mother was actually the first one to spank my child...but she didn't put up with fall out tantrums with me so I know she wouldn't for my son....

10
215 1

I .. would have 'strangled' my mother if she had laid a single finger on my child! She did quite enough of that on ME thank you very much when I was a child, and I knew that it was wrong to hit a child then! If she couldn't or wouldn't keep her hands to herself [Use your words not your hands!] she would have been banned from ever being with them. I didn't want anyone teaching violence or being violent to my children. I never hit my children - I taught them - they are now great, kind and gentle adults. As are my grandchildren delightful children. How can you teach a child not to hit - whilst hitting it ?? How can you expect to have respect from a child, when you don't respect it and hit it? Respect .. not thumps !!

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12 0

I think this depends on the relationship with the others. I spank my son from time to time and my parents spanked us from time to time growing up. When my son is at my parents house and in their care if his behavior is extreme and warrants a swat, I'm ok with that. But I think you have to know your relationship. If my parents were abusive to me, then I probably wouldn't have them watch my son. Neighbors and friends would probably be a big no...

7
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

26 10

It is not OK for anyone to hit anyone!! why would hitting ever be OK?

7
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

0 24

This is a touchy subject!! I would definitely not want someone else to ever spank my children now, but what if your child is on vacation with family and you are not around, does grandpa or grandma have the right to spank? I would say no, but maybe it depends on the situation? I had my first child very young, and my best friend and I lived together. Our boys were only 6 months apart and we would watch each others son while the other worked, we treated them exactly the same as we would treat our own. So if they got into trouble together no matter which one of us was there we punished them both.

6
631 96

You and others FIRST have to understanding as to what a serious enough offense would be... everyone has their boundaries, right?

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69 0

I can't believe that this is even a question. Hitting is never ok. My kids have never been struck by me, my husband or anyone else and are polite, well adjusted, respectful, compassionate children. There are no circumstances that make hitting a child acceptable. It is not discipline, it is hurting another person.

5
631 96

Laura - there is a big difference between hitting and spanking -

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29 11

NEVER!!! We don't spank our child so why would it be okay for someone else to? We use the time-out method as does her school. It is very effective. I was spanked as a child but my parents know that it is NOT okay for them to spank their granddaughter.

5
35 79

i find timeout depends on the child, time out doesnt work with my son, hell just go and do whatever it was he was doing, taking his toys away doesnt work either, i find a little tap on the hand, or sent to bed works, hes 7 now i still try to suse time out but it doesnt work at all, hes been getting disciplined since he was 2, however my daughter, shes 2 now, turned 2 nov 24th, and timeout/the 1...2....3 method works with her, 1...2....3 method SOMEtimes works with my son but not always, i find it depends on the child, hurting a child is not acceptable, but a little tap on the hand shouldnt be wrong. i find thats whats wrong with this generation, kids KNOW they are not aloud to be touched, or slapped, so they rub it in their parents faces, kids these days are running the roads, doing drugs, causing trouble, in my community theres nothing to do other than drink, drugs, or movies, or pool, or hang out in your house playing video games, not even bowling around here anymore, shoppings another idea, when i was growing up a hard slap on the hand to make it red, or a smack on the bum (only got the bum once), and corner along with it worked wonders, i turned out fine, i only needed that ONE slap on the bum and i never was bad again, i was a quiet kid, also, never cursed as a child ...that soap in my mouth ONCE was enough for me, now you cant do anything to discipline your child, and they wont listen to ya, c.a gets involved bc the child tells their teacher that they got a slap on the hand, etc, i think its rediculous, if you are not hurting your child it should be acceptable, i understand some people have no control and end up beating their child, however, thats when c.a should be in volved, not from a slap on the hand >_>

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4 15

Seriously, not trying to be sarcastic but if you didn't give or authorize permission in the front of both spanker & spankie this is allowable you need to make certain that you have never condoned that sort of treatment or punishment to your child from anyone other that their parents.I have given my 2 brothers & 1 sister to discipline My mon my children IF NEEDED.vise verse. Knock on wood that has yet to happen to my children as of yet. I will admit i have punished ,y siblings children on occasion rarely but i have. i go by this motto" ITS HARD TELLING NOT KNOWING" Spare the Rod Spoil the child. We are to guide them and give them the tools to be God frearing Responsible interdependent self confident morally respectable;e self sufficient adults who have respect and accountability to and for one another..

4
0 0

Linda: your comments are correct and to the point! That's what sensible dialogue is all about!!!

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51 17

dumb question - seriously why the hell would you spank someones child or let someone spank yours?

4
40 30

because if you are the adult responsible for a child, you have to be able to discipline that child. If he or she does something that is extreme enough to need a spanking rather than a nose in the corner then it needs to be administered right then, not 8 hours later when his parents get home and he don't remember kicking you in the gonads and turning the diningroom table over because he is 4. Don't leave your children with anyone you do not trust to administer appropriate punishment for bad behavior.

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0 0

If I as a parent agreed with spanking and gave permission to someone watching over my child then yes.

Is it ok for someone to spank my child without my previous consent or knowledge? No it is not. Spanking is a very serious and physical punisment which many parents avoid at allmost all costs. Spanking someone's child may result in many bad things.

As an adult comming into a situation in which a child who is not mine requires some form of discipline I would choose from the following options:
a) bring the child to his/her parent for discipline
b) ask the child to remove themselves from the area of the incident and then report to parents as time allowed
or c) wait for parents with child until they came to retrieve him/her then report of the misdeeds and allow the parents to proceed as they chose.

If I am watching someone elses children for any extended time and have become a temporary gaurdian of that child I will have gotten consent and suggestions on how to handle misbehaivour for that child. If I had no previous consent to administer some form of disciplin then I wouldn't be watching them. This same would go for anyone watching/caring for my two precious kidlets.

4
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

1 171

No...it is not okay for someone else to yell, hit, or anything else. I get very upset when people think they can say whatever they want to my child. I would never spank someone elses kids even if they told me it was okay. They can take their kids elsewhere if they want me to be the bad guy for them.

4
631 96

Carolyn - there is a BIG difference in hitting or spanking .. Hitting is retaliation while spanking should be a deterrent to bad behavior or punishment or rebelling or being naughty - but not for every little thing -

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0 10

NEVER! no way no how!!!

4
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

8 13

F*CK NO...... if someone else hit my daughter or even grabbed my daughter bc she did something wrong u best believe im going to say/ do something about it no one will EVER touch my daughter and disapline her besides her parents.....

3
631 96

Be a wise mommie Jenny - learn the difference in hitting or grabbing and spanking -

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0 0

H@ll NO.

3
31 1

Please explain why. I'd love to get your full opinion rather than just a two word answer. Thanks so much!

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1 23

um....NO

3
31 1

Why do you think that? It would be great to get your full perspective on this rather than just a two word answer.

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1,738 8

Absolutely not. And if any caregivers spanked my child, you can believe they would no longer be caregivers - including family members.

2
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

2 0

I don't use spanking as a form of discipline so NO I'm not OK with it.

2
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

32 26

Serious? Of course not! No way! They had better not! I have told my children that it is not okay for anybody to ever hit them, ever, for any reason. If an adult hitsspanks/swats them I want to know about it ASAP. I will take steps to protect them from that person. Bottom line (pun intended) keep your hands off my kids!

2
99 48

You have to ask? Would you want someone else to spank you if you were your child's age? Didn't it hurt ENOUGH when your parent did it to you? Now someone ELSE gets to have a round at your child? I think that's disrespectful-to your child AND YOU. Are you saying your child has control over you, and that's why SOMEONE ELSE GETS TO HAVE CONTROL TOO? Poor child. Spanking hurts period. I don't believe in "good spanking." That's for parents who feel a need to justify their lack of control. That's all spanking is. Actually, spanking is for parents who have LOST control of themselves and their emotions. I've been there too. I have spanked my child-twice. She is 4 1/2 years old. I NEVER tell her, "Mama, didn't mean to" or "YOU made me do it" "Or YOU brought it upon yourself" THOSE ARE ALL LIES. I never NEVER lie to my child, and nor should anyone else. When I have lost control of my emotions and I lash out in a spanking with my child, I ALWAYS tell her, "Look, I'm sorry." " You know that I hardly ever spank you, but if I do, like I just did, then that means that I lost control of my emotions. I'm not apologizing for what I did to you, because I meant to do it. I'm telling you I'm sorry, because I spanked you when I was upset." Ask you child RIGHT THEN "What do you do when you GET SO MAD at someone?" If the child says, "I feel like hitting something", then we all should understand why I'm posting this. Regardless of what the child says, a child deserves an apology for the person or ppl that spank him/her out of frustration. THAT IS THE ONLY REASON WHY A CHILD GETS SPANKED. I don't care what anyone else says...there is NO OTHER REASON why......think about it. Get control over your emotions. And for the love of man...don't disrespect your child for someone ELSE's fragile emotions.

2
29 23

Why hit your child in anger? You can seriously hurt them because you have no control over yourself. It is better to separate yourself for a moment to calm down. I do believe in spanking-but I control how hard and that is impossible if I have lost control of myself. After spanking I never tell them those lies you mention. We have a discussion on what happened and why. My son (age 2.5) knows the next time he climbs on to the bathroom sink to get in the medicine cabinet he is getting spanked. There is no surprise for him about this, he knows it will happen.

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3 12

Nooooooooo............. We do time-outs.
I think spanking is confusing too, because you're doing to your child what you're trying to teach them NOT to do - hit... Instilling fear by physical punishment is not the same as discipline.

This was a concern of mine because I've seen my out-laws give a smack to their other grandkids. They were told we do time-outs and I can only hope they respect it if they babysit him at their house. I don't go with the "my house - my rules" thing. It's "my kid - MY rules!"

But at least my son is now old enough to tell me if something happens - in which case, those grandparents will get a big time-out from us!!

2
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

3 5

No it is not right to hit someone else's child at all even if your child is in someone else's care for the day I have been in this situation and it's not nice at all I did warn the other parent if she'd hit my son again I'd ring Dept of Children Services so she never learnt first time round I rang Docs on her now she has learnt her lesson

2
0 4

What? Learnt! Apparently you never "learned" either. On the other hand, maybe she deserved to have DCS called on her since she agreed to keep your bad a** kid again after you threatened her the first time.

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0 0

Mothers and Fathers only. There are other non physical ways that family members can correct children without touching them. I have never physically punished my stepdaughters but that does not stop me from correcting bad behavior. The best idea I had, that stops the fighting/tattling for months between sibling is having them write their spelling words 20 times each. They started working things with just a look from you. Spanking is the last line in a long list of alteratives but if you do it right you just have to ask one question for the next several months. "Do I need to spank your bottom, again?" You give them the choice to change their behavior on their own. Spanking is not beating if three bare handed stikes on a bottom did not change the behavior than you should never spank again because it does not work on that child.

2
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

29 23

over my dead body!
What I believe warrants a spanking may differ from what another person believes. In my house it is a last resort and never given in anger. Afterwards my kids have to tell me why they think they received a spanking and we talk about it. They understand that we love them and the spanking has to do with their actions.

2
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

492 54

NO. Not without my permission, and I would not give it. I don't even spank my own anymore...When my son was 5-6 a friend "pinch him" because he wanted to leave the line @ an ice skating rink. I had left to grab my husband and she said she "had it". What she did not know was my son saw me coming back and was simply trying to get to me. When I showed up my son was crying and said, "she just pinched me really hard!" I was PISSED. She said she was sorry but he wasn't "listening" Don't EVER hurt my kid, ever..

1
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

1 45

I think it depends on the person. Like my sister, my mom and I all know what boundries we have. I spanked my neice not to long ago after she looked me in the eye and called me a b****! Shes 5! Sometimes spankings are the only thing that works.

1
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

19 5

As I'm against spanking my own child anyway - no, I would be outraged if anyone else tried to spank my child. If someone else tried to punish my child using other means, it would depend largely on who they were, what they were punishing him for and how they were doing it. I would be at the very least quite irritated even a very close friend took it upon herself to punish my son (with me present) if she didn't at least have a discussion with me about it first. Though if that same friend were watching my child - I vote for them using their own discretion, provided they don't violate any of my childrearing principles (ie, don't spank my child - time outs, please).

1
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

1,315 8

Of course not.

1
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

321 14

Although, as mentioned in another post, I have, on very rare occasions, smacked my children, as have their dad. However, I would not allow anybody else to do so. If any of my children are misbehaving that badly then either myself or their dad are told about it and we deal with it as we feel appropriate. Thankfully my children are generally very well behaved.

1
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

149 34

If my child does something that deserves a spanking, then you better bring my child to me, or call me to come to my child and I will do the spanking. PERIOD

1
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

18 13

no. not ever.

1
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

19 26

corrected yes...spanked no no.

1
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

65 28

Are you kidding me? If I don't spank my child ever, how would I ever allow anyone else to spank him. Family or no family. If I ever found out there would be hell to pay big time!!!

1
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

15 0

NO! Yon don't want any and everybody spanking your child that is the PARENT'S job only, the child needs to know who is the parent. When you work a job is it fair for your co-workers to tell you what to do? you would be so confused, who do you listen to, when everyone one has different rules for you to follow. You might say it ok for gradmother or Aunt to spank your kid. BUT WHAT IF IT'S SOMETHING YOU ALLOW THE KIDS TO DO BUT FOR GOT TO INFORM THE SITTER AND THEY SPANK THEM FOR IT. This part of parenting allow you to bound with your child, it's reconnecting process for parent's only.

1
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

631 96

There is a BIG difference between 'hitting' and spanking!!!

When a child has violated someone's rules of their home and it is serious, I believe the parent should be called and the matter discussed with them.

Maybe the child should return home -

ALWAYS back the other parents/teachers if your child knew what they were doing was wrong ESPECIALLY if it occurred at school!

It is critical that your children leran respect for parents and all others in authority - right or wrong.

1
153 0

I have ALWAYS supported my daughter's teachers if there was a child behavioral issue at school. This isn't an across-the-board issue however. If the teacher steps out of line in admonishing a child (happened two or three times in our small church-based school), I will not support that teacher's behavior and will address it with the teacher privately. Should that fail, school administration was my next step in curing the problem. I did have to do this twice due to lack of cooperation from the teacher who maintained it was perfectly fine to humiliate a little girl (not my daughter) in her fourth grade classroom. Behavior is a learned skill that both parents and teachers teach by modeling good behavior to the kids. Negative or inappropriate behavior should NEVER go unchallenged, whether by child or adult.

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38 17

I have 3 children that live with my ex and his wife. 2 yrs ago they put VRO against my current partner because my son lied and told them his fractured arm was due to my partner grabbing him ( this was not the case, we have gone through hell because of it!!) now 2 years down the track my son is disrespectful, manipulative, wags school, graffiti's places, lies, blames everyone else for his actions and is heading to Juvenile detention if he keeps going. Now the shoe is on the other foot though. My ex has given my son a belting and so has his step mum. My pride and everything tells me I should cause them the hell they have put us through BUT at the same time nothing works with my son. We have spoken to him, given him time out, taken EVERYTHING away from him, grounded him, I even asked a friend who's a policeman to help all to no change in his behaviour. I grew up with a smack if I done something wrong and I am sorry to say but I feel this is what is wrong with todays society, talking to a child is not punishment. I knew that if I got a smack when I was a child it was because the choice I made was wrong and I knew better. I got smacked but I knew instantly that I would not do it again. I would not have even considered half the things my son has done due to fear and respect for my parents. I beleive there are some children that you have absolutely no other option but to give them a smack. You could talk to my son till you're blue in the face, 5 minutes later it's as if nothing happened and then he does something else wrong. I respect my parents for smacking me because I never done the wrong thing twice and it taught me that respect for other people also. Our parents were always commended by their friends for us being well behaved children. A smack hurts for 2 minutes it's more the shock that hurts them than anything else.

1
15 8

I feel your pain. I have a child that is close to that type of behavior. It's very exhausting. I agree. and sometimes it feels as though you can do everything short of beating them and nothing helps. Trust me, I know how you feel.

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0 18

I, myself, personally am not okay what-so-ever with someone else spanking my child. If other people are okay with it that is fine, their discretion. but I am flat out against it for me & mine.

1
41 0

my best friend's mother makes $67 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for 7 months but last month her pay was $19342 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this website ......www.max38.com

4 27

Absolutely NOT!!! I can count on ! hand the number of times I have spanked my child and those times were for instances when his behavior could have caused real harm to him or someone else. I would be livid if a family member or anyone else ever thought they had the right to put thier hans on my child. That is for a parent to decide, and only in an extrene case at that!

1
40 30

I agree with you on your use of spanking your child - only when his behavior could have caused real harm. What if you are not there, and won't be there for hours and hours? What if he does something that could have caused serious harm, or worse DOES cause serious harm, after his caregiver told him to do not do that thing? Does his caregiver spank him and let him go on with his day after a few minutes or does she make him sit in a chair all day until you get back from whereever you had to go?

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56 0

no!

1
31 1

Can you explain why?

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