Is it okay to have children close together in age?
So maybe it wasn't very long ago that you gave birth to your little one, but you already are hearing that little voice in the back of your head telling you it's time to have another baby. From moms who know, are there any words of wisdom about how to handle children close in age? Anything you'd do differently given a second time around?
My folks had the four of us in five years. What did we kids gain??
We never remember not sharing our things.
We learned how to play together (and fight!).
We learned the value of hand-me-downs - In everything from clothes to cars.
We shared illnesses, punishments, and joys.
We were never without a friend to play with and often shared the school friends we had.
Somebody always had our back at school, at camp, on the team.....etc.
We are of the same generation - we "get" each other. They say if your kids are 4+ years apart they are in different generations. They will probably be adults before they become friends, if ever.
We helped each other through colleges and into marriages, and are each other's children's Godparents.
As a parent, it goes by way too fast. What ever worry you are having (like two in diapers) will be a memory long before you are ready to let go.
Sure its okay... As long as you are healthy enough and have the support of a great husband. I had a baby in 1991, 1994, '96, '97, '98, 2000, 2004, and 2006. All were boys except my 2000 baby was a girl ( I always stayed in shape for each pregnancy). They are NEVER Bored, always have a friend to do anything and everything with, and big hubby keeps them in check! The older ones keep each other in check for me, sometimes. (^_^) Handling the kids so close in age gets more challenging when puberty hits in, until they FINALLY leave for college. You just have to mean what you say, and say what you mean, don't back down for anything, don't t let them think you're a softie or they will never leave you alone, and keep the honor, love & respect strong!
I think that you learn to love whatever spacing you are blessed with. I had 5 kids in 3.5 years(twins, singleton, twins) and while I may not have chosen it at the time, I would not want it any other way. I love having 5 kids so close in age. Knowing that they will all grow up together and be there for each other is a wonderful feeling. They are currently all under the age of 7 and it can be choatic alot of the time, but you learn to deal with things like that. Having them so close in age has worked great for us, but I can also see why parents would want a longer spacing. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to spacing or the number of kids to have. Whatever you end up having is a blessing.
I had 3. My daughter is now 6, her brother is 5 and her little brother is almost 4. Not Planned. Wouldn't change it for the world! They are close, they play, they fight sometimes and they look out for each other. I was and still am very busy. Yes, this means they Might all leave together...but they have each other and always will.
My kids are 6 years apart and that's the way we planned our family, my thinking was I did not want two babies at home in diapers at the same time and I wanted to spend as much time as possible just 1 on 1 for the first year with him like I did for my first born.
Mine are 11 months and 3 weeks apart and are best friends at 7 (girl) and 8 (boy). It wasn't planned for them to be this close but it's awesome. It was like having twins at different stages for a while and it was rough at times, but I wouldn't change it for anything.
I have a 15 month gap between my little girl and boy. (planned) and I wouldn't change it for the world! Yeah is hard to start off with. But a routine was the beat thing for me and once th new baby (now 1) had settled in it became a lot easier. My daughter loves having a playmate and is so protective over her brother, don't get me wrong the fight like cat and dog at times but all siblings do whatever ages. And talking from my own experience of having 2 sisters 3 years after me and then 2 brothers 10 years later I am closer to them both but in different ways. My brothers are def a diff generation to me. If money wasn't an issue number 3 would be well on the way by now. Each to their own though as I know other mums who have said they could never do what I did but you cope just expect a bumpy start till it all settles down :)
Yes Mine are 16 months apart I have an 19 month old and a 3 month old. Its hard at times but get them on a routine that works helps alot!! Its so funny to see them how they interact together and one will follow the other one into new stages. Don't sweat the small stuff, the house will not be as clean as it was with just one kid and thats ok. Enjoy them they grow up to fast!!
Mine are 10months apart (planned). Our one year old loved our baby from the moment he came home. He hugs him and kisses him now, and gets stressed out if he's crying, and tries to console him. They are now 4 months and 14months, and I love being home with them both. I can't wait till they're older and playing together.
Ours are 11 months 2 weeks apart, boy and girl. God knows best!! We wouldn't change it for the world. They are now 17 and 18 and none the worse for wear, LOL!
I have a three and a half year old, a two year old, and a 5 month old and I think it's great! They have eachother to play with and learn from one another. There's no doubt I stay very busy, but it's all worth it!
Mine are 17 months apart. I think it's great, they have each other to play with!!!
It is a lot of work but it is all worth it... They will have each other once their bigger having a 5 yr old, 2 and 1. I love how they can all play and learn almost the same things th older one teaches the 2 year old, the 2 year old teaches the 1 yr old. So to answer the question yes it's ok ..plus they grow up so fast....enjoy them!
I would prefer them close together. My first two daughter are 19 months apart (4 and 2 1/2) and I have one on the way who will be almost 3 years apart from my younger. Its one out of diapers after the next and one in school right after the next. In 5 years when I can start college I will still be happy I made the choice to have them close together. I think they can be closer this way. My 2 /12 year old follows her sister around like a puppy and does everything that she does. And because of this I have two children who talk better than most kids their age. Their speech, yes even my 2 1/2 year olds, is at a 5 1/2-6 year olds level. I think having them close can have some awsome benefits =)
I have 10 children from 23 to 2 some of them are close in age then there are some with longer gapd in their ages. I think there are benefits to having them close and also benefits to them being further apart. As long as you teach your children the value of family I feel that either way is okay!!
me and my hubby have 4 kids, age 4, 3, 2 and 9 months,( a girl, then a boy, then 2 more girls.) We wanted them close together and wouldn't change it for the world, its stressful at times but they always have each other which is lovely.
Mine are 3 years apart- to the day! I went into labor the night before my daughter's birthday, and the little stinker waited until just after midnight to make his appearance.
With that said- I think it is the perfect age gap. My daughter is potty trained, old enough to help with little things like handing me a diaper or picking out his clothes, and young enough to still enjoy playing with him.
We are coming up on their birthday now, they will soon be 4 & 1, and I am still sure that it was the perfect age gap.
I have 4 kids (13 year old twin boys, 6yr old girl and a 4 yr old boy). The older ones help to lookout after the younger ones and will babysit if have to run some errands. The boys are close despite their age gap. Of course they fight. And the G gap is sometimes the culprit. They take to being on different sides at different times . My daughter and my youngest are always together and the twins have each other. There are times I wish I wd have them all in the same generation but then again I also feel blessed that my kids are comfortably apart. Myself have 2 brothers and we are 9 years apart! I am closest to my youngest brother who is 18 years my junior and that's because he was my older kids playmate. I used to bring him with us for or family holidays and he spent a lot of time at my place during Sch vacations. My take is it really depends on what you are comfortable with. But do not have them too far apart like my siblings and I. We didnt really play together when we were younger. :(
My boys are 18 months apart.
but....My bio son was 2.5 years old when my adopted son came home at almost 4 years old.
I honestly don't know how moms of children close in age do it from infancy. I tip my hat to you ;-)
My kids were only 15 months apart. They got along for the most part.
My two girls are 17 months apart. I use the word "we" a lot. I told big sister Elizabeth that we had to change little sister (and she would-she'd do what she could-whether it be hold the diaper or just sit there with me). I told Elizabeth that we had to put baby Emma down for a nap, and she could help by not being loud. It didn't always work, but I found that when Elizabeth thought she was Mommy and sister's partner, she didn't get as jealous as I thought she would.
My mum had four kids in 3 and half years at 21 years of age! We all grew up as little friends x now where having children around the same age so there cousins are born together too x there 20 months between my two x if I could of done I would of had them sooner :) if you have 1 child u may aswell have 2 x get rid of all your baby things out of your house at once instead of starting all over again plus you gain some quality in life back by getting then off to school one after another without them (not ment in a nasty way I'd be lost without my childre but atleast I could go to college or work again) x
It's not always a choice but mine are 16 mos. apart and I wouldn't change it! That wasn't our plan bot God has reasons for doing everything!!!
My girls are 14 months apart - planned - and I wouldn't have done it any other way.
My two youngest are 13 months apart (planned) and I wouldnt have it any other way!! :)
You should wait at least two years between children, in order to replace valuable hormones that your child will need. Children who are born too close together have fewer of the proper hormones and continue their lives running short on the necessary hormones for immune function, happiness etc. Not to mention the hormones that the mother needs herself are already deficient after the first birth, and then, after the second too soon after, you are literally left with nothing. Adrenal fatigue which cause tiredness, depression, weaken immune system, anxiety etc. Which is treatable with adrenal supplements or therapies.
My children are currently 4 and a half, almost 3 and just turned 1.I have an 18month gap betwen taylah (4and a half) & noah(almost 3) and a 21 month gap between noah & jarred(just turned 1). taylah was 9 months old when we fell pregnant noah and 2 years 4 months when we fell pregnant with jarred. noah was just over 1 when we fell pregnant with jarred. having 3 under 3 and a half wasn't always easy but it wasnt hard either,equal time management between the 3 of them was what i struggled with the most, trying to find a balance with the 2 older children who were both at very different yet still very mum-reliant ages aswell as a breastfed infant with no family support except my husband was tricky. While I retained the emotional role of mum to tay and noah, my husband adoped the physical role of mum to them such as baths and putting them to bed and things like that, it only lasted for a few months while we established our own little family routine though. Any stuation that contains a new baby is going to take some adjusting to, things will be up and down for a ittle while but they will level out eventually..
There are several things to consider. Close ages mean that in the early years, you will be drained physically and emotionally. I have observed people say it's like twins, but they are developmentally in different places during preschool and it's important to not treat them like they are twins. You will also have preteens and early teens at the same time - they are supposed to be cutting ties with you and the family and you will have 2 also at different development levels at the same time - maybe physically draining, but really emotionally and intellectually draining. And then you have Graduation and college at the same time. Don't write off the pain of an empty nest. It's really hard to let them go so quickly. Ask your friends who have siblings who are close in age what their experience was and is- they have the real answers for you.