Is it okay to keep momentos from past relationships?

Do you think it is okay to keep gifts, photos or other tokens from a previous relationship once you are in a new one?

40  Answers

256 8

Yes. Your past makes you who you are. The people you date, and the experiences you have with them, help to shape that past. There were happy things you experienced with that person, and those are good memories to have.

If a couple has a baby and decides not to stay together, those momentos are excellent tools for showing your child that they were made out of love. While they may hold the bad memories just as well as the good ones, those bad memories can serve as a reminder to never do something (or date someone) again. We are material creatures to some degree, we establish value to the objects we possess.

Having things from a prior relationship serves the same sort of purpose as an old diary entry -- I wouldn't rip pages from my diary to simply 'forget' someone. That relationship happened, with the good and the bad included. Discarding anything simply because it came from a prior relationship doesn't mean it never happened. Learning from past experience is what helps people to grow and mature. Throwing those things away might make you feel better, but it's not like you're discarding the memories.

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Generally I'd agree. However,divorce is another matter.I kept things telling myself that my children would appreciate photos or trinkets. But God put pressure on my heart. It was time to let go. Those things only were for me. I loved my husband and when he came back from a military mandatory trip to Turkey and wanted a divorce, I couldn't accept that he wanted a divorce. We had two precious girls 10 and 4 who dearly loved him. He had become a deacon in our church 6 months before he left. We didn't argue or fight. His only reason for wanting a divorce was that I was too "goody-goody' for him. I can only guess what the real reason(s) could be. Three years later I married a wonderful man who was 17 years older than me. But I was still divided in my heart. I was "happy" but not at peace with myself. One day I had my Bible reading in Proverbs 5:7-14. The Lord used those verses to show me that I needed to get rid of everything that reminded me of him so I could pursue my current husband and me as a true couple without division. My two girls are both married now and when they would come for a visit I would pull out some things that I didn't want to keep and gave them a chance to claim what they wanted and the rest I gave away to Good Will. It has taken about 6 months to really divorce myself from things. Even my wedding rings I was finally able to take to the jewelers. Soooo...my experience was very different than yours. Now this November we will celebrating our 25th anniversary!!! So my advice is to stay close to the Lord, try to have a little time each day to read and pray. He will give to each person as is needed. Try reading 2nd Timothy (near to the end of the Bible) in verses 12-14.

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2 20

Ok lets put the children out of this question. If you are no longer in a relationship and you are in a new relationship you should NOT be keeping keepsakes from your previous. Pictures are a record of your past not unlike a diary. Take them off the wall and put them away. However, the last thing your new love wants to see is the ring given by another sitting on your hand or in the jewlery box. I took mine to a jeweler and had a new piece of jewelry made. That teddybear or stuffed bunny, get rid of it. I took mine to the local preschool for them to enjoy. That keepsake statue/nicknack, sorry take a picture of it and donate of sale or put in a box under your bed. These are all part of your past and make who you are but your new love does not need a constant reminder of who was in your past. Move on.

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If no children are involved then I believe it is only fair to your current relationship to put the past behind you. I don't believe any relationship can be long lasting and healthy when one or both people in the relationship are holding onto the past. Let the mementos go and move forward.

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121 4

Of course it is. If a man expects you to have no past he is sadly mistaken.Just don't be rubbing his face in it. I have many mementos and my husband has no problem with it,. He has pictures and things. I don't have a problem with that. Your past is just that,Past.

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5 2

I have an ex-husband. I have lots of old boyfriends too. I have shoe boxes filled with momentoes and cards. Every now and then I pull them out and get a lovely feeling of fondness for the men who made me happy at those times. I would never dream of putting the stuff in plain view of my partner now. It's private and some things you can't remember so physical memories are nice. I put the boxes away and forget about them never allowing the past to hinder my present. I think if you continually keep going over and over the past you will never move on to the present and that is a big dangerous place to stay when you have a perfectly wonderful relationship right now. SO keep them if you want to, but just don't make it a big deal.

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85 27

Depends. It depends on how important the previous relationships were to you. It depends on what the momentos are. It depends on if there are children from those / that previous relationship(s). (Jewelry can be handed down and children might want a photo of their birth parent. A daughter could proudly wear a ring from her dad or a son could use it to pop the question to his future wife.) It depends on how serious this relationship is. (if you are getting married then ask your soon to be spouse their feelings.) Things like jewelry, photos, nick knacks, and etc. might have more value to you depending on how good or bad the relationship was. If you want to keep something but don's want to upset your new bf/gf then just pack it up and put it away until you know just what you do want to do with it. But here is a a rule of thumb -- if you are getting married or have children by some else take your spouse's and children's feelings into consideration. If you don't want the momento anymore ask your child if they want it or give it back to the ex. You never know they might want it.
I make my husband get rid of all of his momentos from his previous relationships because they were a pair of panties from almost each ex.

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4 7

It is not okay because the new partner may think that you are still holding on to your past relationship which creates tension and doubt

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21 11

No, would be my simple answer. Those things are given as a reminder of a person and events that you shared together. Would you want your partner wearing a tie from one girlfriend, using a nice pen from another, wearing a ring from another one,being reminded of how nice they were when the use or see these things? You could be really asking for trouble when you go through a rough patch.
Historical note, Prince Charles wore a pair of cuff links from Camilla( monogrammed with 2 'C's intertwined) to his Wedding Breakfast. If it hadn't been such a huge world wide media PR event , there may well have been no wedding.

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1 4

I think so. It represents a part of your past that may be over but has its place in your history and makes you who you are today. That being said, it would be best to be open about it and not hide pictures or whatnot which may seem like you are not moving on with your life. If there are wedding pictures and children from a past marriage, I would say they should be kept for the child as well.

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My husband when we were first married brought out a beautiful afghan that an old girlfriends' sister made and gave to him. It was made so beautifully that I was not about to throw it out. 22 years later we still have the beautiful afghan and our girls and I fight over who gets to wrap up in it when it's cold. My husband just shakes his head never dreaming us girls would treasure it. It has never bothered me that it was a gift from an old girlfriend. I could see past that to how well the blanket was made and that there was alot of time put into it, so why not enjoy it. What is really funny is who ever has the afghan is the one our toy poodle will go sit with. Doesn't matter what other blankets are around even he knows that blanket is the best. Too funny!

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As with everything else in life, you have to weigh the variables. Most everyone has a different experience. I was married to a great guy, but we were better together as friends. We had a beautiful child together. We stayed friends until his death (14 years later). We both saved items, for ourselves and for our son. Before i married 6 years ago, I had a couple of long term relationship, neither resulted in children, but I saved photos that I culled out (without the men in them). The trips I took were to beautiful places, so I kept photos of me and the scenery. These trips were long enough ago, that I can remember the beauty and good times, without it being about the relationship I was in at the time. My husband knows everything about me and my past. I like to think that I know most everything about him. He had a past (I've seen pictures) and I love the man he is now. For me, I wouldn't marry anyone who didn't understand that I had a life before them. Again, my situation is just that, my situation. Long story, short, my personal answer is yes, it's all in how you handle it, but the choice is ultimately yours.

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It just depends. If you have an engagement ring and you call off the engagement, it should be returned to your ex. If it's a wedding set and you get divorced, have it made into another piece of jewelry. If it's other kinds of jewelry, then your new special someone doesn't need to know where it came from. It's yours, period. Keep it to yourself. Chances are he/she will never ask. If you just have to tell someone were things came from, then YOU have issues that you need to deal with. If you have pics all over the place of you and the ex, but you can't bear to burn them, then put them in an album and put them away. If you're a widow or a widower, that's another bag of beans. You're entitled to keep those up until you put a ring on someone else's finger. When that happens and if you have kids with the deceased, they should be put away for them to have one day, or put in their room. If there are no kids, then you should just put them away or give them to your former in-laws or just send them to the Thrift House. A new spouse should not have to contend with a memory. The same thing applies in a divorce. If you have works of art hanging on your wall that were a gift from a love interest...really, who's going to know if you don't tell? The main thing is to be open to the new possibilities and you can't do that if you're holding on to something that is over and done with. I have a cedar chest that I keep mementos in. I rarely get into it,, but once every few years, it's nice to remember the girl I used to be and the things that made me happy. Those things don't bother my husband because he's a well-adjusted, secure man. A word of warning: if your new interest seems to be bothered by you having little mementos, even if they are put away, run for the hills. If he or she is constantly asking where things came from, that's not good, either. Those are some of the first indications of a control freak or worse. Like other people have already said, you had a life before and you have memories and no one has the right to take that away from you. By the same token you should be considerate and respectful of your new love and not make them feel like they are competing with a person from your past.

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0 34

YES, i agree with most, i'd think. The past is not able to be erased, no matter how had you try, It is part of who you ALWAYS WILL BE. So, I think the new partner needs to accept this, and if they can not it might be better to rethink the relationship. Don't rub the past in their face, but simple memories are important to make is whole.. Keep reasonable restraint in the exposure and intensity of the mementos, and discuss it with your partner, and be sensitive to their feelings, if need be,, pack them away. You'll ALWAYS REGRET it if you trash them...

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yes I believe it is ok to hold on to things from your past, it is what made you who you are and got you to where you are in life, now if they are x rated photos then yea those need to go, but otherwise theres nothing wrong with having them as long as you are open with your partner about them and you do not keep them thrown in your new partneres face. (excluding if your ex is your kids dad) I have many things from my past that remind me of the things I have been through and remind me that I may not be where I want to be but I sure as hell am not where I use to be.

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30 0

I have kids with my ex husband and we were married for 10 years. The divorce was amicable but he has not been amicable since. The pictures with all of us I give to my kids as I come across loose ones. My mom put all our albums together so over the next month I am going to separate those all together pages out so she can create an album just for the kids. It will always be at the house even when they are gone unless they agree to keep it at one of theirs. As far as cards and such: I gave him the ones that I or the kids gave him and threw out mine because they have no value to me. I gave the kids all the stuffed animals we shared. I am in a new relationship so I gave my daughter our bed and slowly I am replacing furniture and knickknacks that I don't want. I had a relationship after the divorce and he was throwing things away behind my back including letters from my oldest daughter's father who is my best friend. I had to let him go. If I am going to be with someone he needs to respect that I had a life before him and not be intimidated by it. My guy now we both have a kid together and we both have kids since ours with other people so we understand that there will be things from the past. His mom has pictures of him with his ex on display and my mom does too. Our pictures will go right alongside the rest.

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0 20

I think different things work for different people. If you are in a situation where you feel the need to keep things from a previous relationship, then do so, if you're not, then dont. Simple as that. I wouldnt suggest anyone to do things just because it fits my scenario. Again, what may work in my home, may not work in yours.

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If the mementos don't cause you to live in the past and /or cause problems in a new relationship that you want to be permanent, then it's O.K. There's also the matter of what you keep locked away and what you keep on display. There may be differing levels of what is appropriate depending on the situation.

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Yes ! It's something personal and previous .Tt

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Unless you're talking about a relationship that resulted in a child, that you are raising , and who should have a connection with their parent - I'm gonna go with 'No'.

If your intention is to have a successful new relationship, it's really best to let the past be in the past and let it go. I wouldn't rip out diary entries but there's no need to save lots of pictures and dried flowers or special gifts or have shrines of your exes all over the house.

Frankly, I'd even go so far as to suggest that an ex, who is alive and in contact with your child needn't continue to be a 'ghost' in your home and new relationship.

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Yes it is fine, photos is a must, my ex and i split when i got with my new partner he didnt like the photos around i took some down but explained to him that my ex is the childrens father i a dont have the right to take that away, it was me and him that split not the kids. so i keep photos up for them.

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I never believed in spell casting but After 6 years of dating my ex lover, I still imagine how Dr Ofemo brought my ex lover back to me in just 24 hour. No one could have ever made me believe that there is a real spell caster that really work. am Kate by name,I want to quickly tell the world that there is a real on line spell caster that is powerful and genuine, His name is Dr Ofemo, He helped me recently to reunite my relationship with my ex lover who left me, When i contacted Dr Ofemo he cast a love spell for me and my ex lover who said he doesn't have anything to do with me again called me and started begging me. he is back now with so much love and caring. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the powers of bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my lover,and the most surprise,is that our love is very strong,every day is happiness and joy. and there is nothing like been with the man you love.i am so happy my love is back to me with the help of Dr.Ofemo if you have similar problem i will advice you to contact him ,he is there to help you and put a smile on your face ask he did to me and others. his email: drofemospelltemple@gmail.com or his hot line:+2348163387496 You can contact him Via this email:drofemospelltemple@yahoo.com or
contact him now website: http://drofemospelltemple.wix.com/dr-ofemo

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My Name is Shalom Nute, From USA. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public

about what this man called Dr ABIODU has just done for me , this man has just brought back

my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called shalom Nute

we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to make

babies for him and also give him all he needs he left me and told me he can’t continue

anymore then I was now looking for ways to get her back until a friend of mine told me

about this man and gave his contact email: drabiodutemple@gmail.com then you won't believe

this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared harm for me the moment i used the

charm within 24hours my husband came to me with beg and asking for forgiveness and after a

month i became pregnant for him because Dr abiodu gave me some herbs to drink a month later

i went to the hospital i was tested and the result stated that i was pregnant am happy

today am a mother of a two kids, thank you once again the great DR DR ABIODU for what you

have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:
contact DR Abiodu here(drabiodutemple@gmail.com)

1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money.
(10)Stop Divorce
(11) CURE TO ALL KIND OF SICKNESS/DISEASES HERE
(12) Winning of lottery
(13) Cure To Hiv/Aids
(14) LOTTERY/LOTTO SPELL WINNING

(drabiodutemple@gmail.com)

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A GREAT SPELL CASTER (DR.JATTO) THAT HELP ME BRING BACK MY EX BOYFRIEND BACK, AM SO VERY HAPPY,

My Name is Vear Kay from USA, My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 7 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over so one day as i was browsing searching on the internet for help I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.Jatto and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am really grateful to this man for what he has done for me and my family, Thank you very much and i will continue to say my testimony over and over again. for those you need help or having same problem as me should contact him on hisemail: drjattolovespelltemple@gmail.com or drjattolovespelltemple@yahoo.co.uk or call him through his mobile number: +2347050270268 or contact him directly through his website: http://drjattolovespelltemple.webs.com/.....

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Good day everybody, This is my testimony on how i won 53,193,914 million pounds on Mega millions lottery. I want to use this opportunity to thank Dr Miracle, for casting winning spell for me to win the lottery of 53,193,194 million pounds,lottery ticket. I have been playing lotteries for the past 5 years now and i have never won any. Ever since then i have not been able to win any lotto and i was so upset and i needed help to win this mega million lottery. so i decided to go online and search for help, there i saw so many good testimony about this man called Dr Miracle,of how he has cast lucky spell lotto for people to win the lottery. I contacted him also and tell him i want to win the Mega millions lottery, he cast a spell for me which i use to play and won 53.193,914 million pounds in mega millions lottery. I am so grateful to this man, just in-case you also need him to help you win, you can contact him through his Email: (MIRACLESPELLHOME@YAHOO.COM , or ou can also contact him through his website "http://miraclespellhome.wix.com/dr-miracles, and he will surely help you just the way he has helped me. i will forever be grateful to him and always testify the good work of him to the hole world. contact him via Email: (MIRACLESPELLHOME@YAHOO.COM , or ou can also contact him through his website http://miraclespellhome.wix.com/dr-miracles, and he will surely help you to win any kind of lottery

Best Regard
Richard Angela

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Wow This is the most wonderful thing i have ever experience in my life and i need to share this great testimony... I just want to all the thanks to the great Dr.Osauyi for taking time to help me cast the spell that brings back my husband home {now husband},who suddenly lost interest in me after 1 years of engagement,but today we are happily married with one kid and we are more happier than never before,i was truly flabbergasted and shocked when my husband kneel down begging for forgiveness and for me to accept him back.. I am really short of words and joyful, and i don't know how much to convey my appreciation to you Dr.Osauyi you are a God sent to restore broken relationship.he deeply enjoy helping people achieve their desires, find true love,getting their ex lovers back,stop abusive relationships,find success,attract happiness,find soul mates and more,contact him today. and let him show you the wonders and amazement of his Love Spell System. He deliver results at his best in real spell casting,email him on osauyilovespell@outlook.com or OSAUYILOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM for relationship matters.call him on +2347064294395

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My name is Dr.Ewan and i welcome you to the great Ewan herbal magic, a temple of solution to all kinds of problems, I practices white magic and mine is a mixture of African traditional medicine, spiritualism, psychic powers, rituals, native healing, spell casting, all of which are designed to take care of whatever adversity you may be facing, my mission is ensure that good prevails over evil and to ensure that all those that come in contact with me have peace of mind, success and happiness". It’s against the principles of the magic I practices to charge my customers so I don’t charge my customers for my help but I accept voluntary offering, I have a proven track record, having honed my skills from experiences and tradition passed down through the centuries from my forefathers I have divine powers that enable me connect oracle in spiritual life and my ancestors and they always give me guidance and provide solution to my customers problems so if you are having problems in life and want any of the following or more then you are in the right place just specify your problems and what you want I will make consultations and find solutions to your problems./Do you want solutions to marital problems?/Do you want solution to childless? / Do you want solution to physical or health problems?/Do you want solution to problem in family relations?/Do you business growing from strength to strength? / Attraction of clients for your business./Do you always have bad dreams?/Do you want to be promoted in your office?/Do you want your husband/wife to be yours forever?/Have you been scammed and you want to recover your lost money?/DO you want to win lottery,/ETC.
I assure you that you are in the right place to get your heart desires just specify what you want and I assure you that my great oracle will grant your heart desires within 3-7 days. you will be haapy knowing me as your spiritual father.
email: ewanherbalmagic@gmail.com.
Mobile phone: +1(562)-372-0292

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Unimaginable and unbelievable. I am Mary Ken from the United States and i have a good news to share to the entire world. Do you need your ex husband or lover urgently? I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced or similar to such situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Miracle who can really solve all your problems. Getting my lover back is what i can't imagine but when I was losing Mike, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but my Cousin told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won't work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang. Mike was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, This is truly miraculous and the spell caster opened him up to know how much I love and needs him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes to know how much love we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try him because he will help you and make things be the way it ought to be. If you have such problem or similar to this, please contact him on his email: homeoflightandsolution@yahoo.com thank you Dr Miracle in fact you are miraculous and may your gods ever reward you for your good deeds..

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What else can i say rather than to thank Doctor Okpamen who God used to reunite my marriage. Each day of my life, i ask God to bless Dr. Okpamen for he has made my life complete by bringing back my husband to me and for this reason, i made a vow to my self that i will testify on the internet to let the world know that Dr. Okpamen is a God on Earth. My husband and i had a fight for three days which led to our divorce. On this faithful day, i came across a testimony of how Dr. Okpamen helped a lady in getting back her lover. So, i contacted him and explained to him and he told me that my days of sorrows are over that my husband will come back to me within 12 to 16 hours. Could you believe it, my husband came home begging that he needs me back. Do you need any kind of help? Contact him now via email: Doctorokpamenspelltemple@hotmail.com or Website: http://doctorokpamenpowerfulspelltemple.webs.com or you can call me for more info on +1 785-219-4717 Becky Nolan.

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This Melanie Bromey From United State of America. Am writing this article to appreciate the good work of Doctor Ebakor that helped me recently to bring back my HUSBAND that left me for another woman for no reason for the past 1 year. After seeing a post on the internet by Marina Panes from USA testifying of how she was helped by Doctor Ebakor. I also decided to contact him for help because all i wanted was for me to get my HUSBAND and happiness back. Am happy today that he helped me also and i can proudly say that my HUSBAND is now with me again and he is now in love with me like never before. Are you in need of any help in your relationship like getting back your man, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, winning of lotteries, herbal cure for sickness or job promotion E.T.C. Viewers reading my post that needs the help of Doctor Ebakor should contact him now on his E-mail: Doctorebakorspelltemple@hotmail.com or call me on (603)-567-4715 if you want to know more about the spell caster.

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GOD BLESS THE DAY I CAN BE-LIVE THIS WHAT GOD HAVE DO FOR MY LIFE

Hello my name is GLORY FRED from USA, My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted you and after I explained you my problem. In just 3 days, my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solaed our issues, and we are even happier than before you are the best spell caster Dr OGUMEN i really appreciate the love spell you castes for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank you once again at (ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo.com ). in case you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is (ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo.com )

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My ex husband and I were together for 15 years (married 9) and have two children together. I left because something was missing. I felt like I was married to my brother. But we are still friends (don't hang out or anything like that, but get along just fine). My current boyfriend who i've been with for almost 2 years is forcing me to go through 15 years worth of albums (that i put together in chronological order) and pull out any that have his face. he says i need to rid myself of the past. I prefer to leave the albums alone because i plan on giving them to my kids some day. my bf takes it as disrespect and it's caused a lot of arguments. so i finally gave in and took my ex out of the albums and put them in my daughter's room in a drawer. My bf went into her room and pulled out two of me missing my ex on the cheek, cut them up and threw them in the toilet. he asked permission first, but insisted on me letting him do that. then he took two other pictures where he liked me, and cut my ex out, and kept the half with me in it. i feel like he's being a big baby about it all. i'm at a loss at how to feel. he promised me he would left my daughter keep the pics, but then he does this....

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