Is it okay to keep momentos from past relationships?

Do you think it is okay to keep gifts, photos or other tokens from a previous relationship once you are in a new one?

40  Answers

256 8

Yes. Your past makes you who you are. The people you date, and the experiences you have with them, help to shape that past. There were happy things you experienced with that person, and those are good memories to have.

If a couple has a baby and decides not to stay together, those momentos are excellent tools for showing your child that they were made out of love. While they may hold the bad memories just as well as the good ones, those bad memories can serve as a reminder to never do something (or date someone) again. We are material creatures to some degree, we establish value to the objects we possess.

Having things from a prior relationship serves the same sort of purpose as an old diary entry -- I wouldn't rip pages from my diary to simply 'forget' someone. That relationship happened, with the good and the bad included. Discarding anything simply because it came from a prior relationship doesn't mean it never happened. Learning from past experience is what helps people to grow and mature. Throwing those things away might make you feel better, but it's not like you're discarding the memories.

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Generally I'd agree. However,divorce is another matter.I kept things telling myself that my children would appreciate photos or trinkets. But God put pressure on my heart. It was time to let go. Those things only were for me. I loved my husband and when he came back from a military mandatory trip to Turkey and wanted a divorce, I couldn't accept that he wanted a divorce. We had two precious girls 10 and 4 who dearly loved him. He had become a deacon in our church 6 months before he left. We didn't argue or fight. His only reason for wanting a divorce was that I was too "goody-goody' for him. I can only guess what the real reason(s) could be. Three years later I married a wonderful man who was 17 years older than me. But I was still divided in my heart. I was "happy" but not at peace with myself. One day I had my Bible reading in Proverbs 5:7-14. The Lord used those verses to show me that I needed to get rid of everything that reminded me of him so I could pursue my current husband and me as a true couple without division. My two girls are both married now and when they would come for a visit I would pull out some things that I didn't want to keep and gave them a chance to claim what they wanted and the rest I gave away to Good Will. It has taken about 6 months to really divorce myself from things. Even my wedding rings I was finally able to take to the jewelers. Soooo...my experience was very different than yours. Now this November we will celebrating our 25th anniversary!!! So my advice is to stay close to the Lord, try to have a little time each day to read and pray. He will give to each person as is needed. Try reading 2nd Timothy (near to the end of the Bible) in verses 12-14.

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Ok lets put the children out of this question. If you are no longer in a relationship and you are in a new relationship you should NOT be keeping keepsakes from your previous. Pictures are a record of your past not unlike a diary. Take them off the wall and put them away. However, the last thing your new love wants to see is the ring given by another sitting on your hand or in the jewlery box. I took mine to a jeweler and had a new piece of jewelry made. That teddybear or stuffed bunny, get rid of it. I took mine to the local preschool for them to enjoy. That keepsake statue/nicknack, sorry take a picture of it and donate of sale or put in a box under your bed. These are all part of your past and make who you are but your new love does not need a constant reminder of who was in your past. Move on.

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If no children are involved then I believe it is only fair to your current relationship to put the past behind you. I don't believe any relationship can be long lasting and healthy when one or both people in the relationship are holding onto the past. Let the mementos go and move forward.

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121 4

Of course it is. If a man expects you to have no past he is sadly mistaken.Just don't be rubbing his face in it. I have many mementos and my husband has no problem with it,. He has pictures and things. I don't have a problem with that. Your past is just that,Past.

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5 2

I have an ex-husband. I have lots of old boyfriends too. I have shoe boxes filled with momentoes and cards. Every now and then I pull them out and get a lovely feeling of fondness for the men who made me happy at those times. I would never dream of putting the stuff in plain view of my partner now. It's private and some things you can't remember so physical memories are nice. I put the boxes away and forget about them never allowing the past to hinder my present. I think if you continually keep going over and over the past you will never move on to the present and that is a big dangerous place to stay when you have a perfectly wonderful relationship right now. SO keep them if you want to, but just don't make it a big deal.

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85 27

Depends. It depends on how important the previous relationships were to you. It depends on what the momentos are. It depends on if there are children from those / that previous relationship(s). (Jewelry can be handed down and children might want a photo of their birth parent. A daughter could proudly wear a ring from her dad or a son could use it to pop the question to his future wife.) It depends on how serious this relationship is. (if you are getting married then ask your soon to be spouse their feelings.) Things like jewelry, photos, nick knacks, and etc. might have more value to you depending on how good or bad the relationship was. If you want to keep something but don's want to upset your new bf/gf then just pack it up and put it away until you know just what you do want to do with it. But here is a a rule of thumb -- if you are getting married or have children by some else take your spouse's and children's feelings into consideration. If you don't want the momento anymore ask your child if they want it or give it back to the ex. You never know they might want it.
I make my husband get rid of all of his momentos from his previous relationships because they were a pair of panties from almost each ex.

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4 7

It is not okay because the new partner may think that you are still holding on to your past relationship which creates tension and doubt

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21 11

No, would be my simple answer. Those things are given as a reminder of a person and events that you shared together. Would you want your partner wearing a tie from one girlfriend, using a nice pen from another, wearing a ring from another one,being reminded of how nice they were when the use or see these things? You could be really asking for trouble when you go through a rough patch.
Historical note, Prince Charles wore a pair of cuff links from Camilla( monogrammed with 2 'C's intertwined) to his Wedding Breakfast. If it hadn't been such a huge world wide media PR event , there may well have been no wedding.

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1 4

I think so. It represents a part of your past that may be over but has its place in your history and makes you who you are today. That being said, it would be best to be open about it and not hide pictures or whatnot which may seem like you are not moving on with your life. If there are wedding pictures and children from a past marriage, I would say they should be kept for the child as well.

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My husband when we were first married brought out a beautiful afghan that an old girlfriends' sister made and gave to him. It was made so beautifully that I was not about to throw it out. 22 years later we still have the beautiful afghan and our girls and I fight over who gets to wrap up in it when it's cold. My husband just shakes his head never dreaming us girls would treasure it. It has never bothered me that it was a gift from an old girlfriend. I could see past that to how well the blanket was made and that there was alot of time put into it, so why not enjoy it. What is really funny is who ever has the afghan is the one our toy poodle will go sit with. Doesn't matter what other blankets are around even he knows that blanket is the best. Too funny!

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As with everything else in life, you have to weigh the variables. Most everyone has a different experience. I was married to a great guy, but we were better together as friends. We had a beautiful child together. We stayed friends until his death (14 years later). We both saved items, for ourselves and for our son. Before i married 6 years ago, I had a couple of long term relationship, neither resulted in children, but I saved photos that I culled out (without the men in them). The trips I took were to beautiful places, so I kept photos of me and the scenery. These trips were long enough ago, that I can remember the beauty and good times, without it being about the relationship I was in at the time. My husband knows everything about me and my past. I like to think that I know most everything about him. He had a past (I've seen pictures) and I love the man he is now. For me, I wouldn't marry anyone who didn't understand that I had a life before them. Again, my situation is just that, my situation. Long story, short, my personal answer is yes, it's all in how you handle it, but the choice is ultimately yours.

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It just depends. If you have an engagement ring and you call off the engagement, it should be returned to your ex. If it's a wedding set and you get divorced, have it made into another piece of jewelry. If it's other kinds of jewelry, then your new special someone doesn't need to know where it came from. It's yours, period. Keep it to yourself. Chances are he/she will never ask. If you just have to tell someone were things came from, then YOU have issues that you need to deal with. If you have pics all over the place of you and the ex, but you can't bear to burn them, then put them in an album and put them away. If you're a widow or a widower, that's another bag of beans. You're entitled to keep those up until you put a ring on someone else's finger. When that happens and if you have kids with the deceased, they should be put away for them to have one day, or put in their room. If there are no kids, then you should just put them away or give them to your former in-laws or just send them to the Thrift House. A new spouse should not have to contend with a memory. The same thing applies in a divorce. If you have works of art hanging on your wall that were a gift from a love interest...really, who's going to know if you don't tell? The main thing is to be open to the new possibilities and you can't do that if you're holding on to something that is over and done with. I have a cedar chest that I keep mementos in. I rarely get into it,, but once every few years, it's nice to remember the girl I used to be and the things that made me happy. Those things don't bother my husband because he's a well-adjusted, secure man. A word of warning: if your new interest seems to be bothered by you having little mementos, even if they are put away, run for the hills. If he or she is constantly asking where things came from, that's not good, either. Those are some of the first indications of a control freak or worse. Like other people have already said, you had a life before and you have memories and no one has the right to take that away from you. By the same token you should be considerate and respectful of your new love and not make them feel like they are competing with a person from your past.

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YES, i agree with most, i'd think. The past is not able to be erased, no matter how had you try, It is part of who you ALWAYS WILL BE. So, I think the new partner needs to accept this, and if they can not it might be better to rethink the relationship. Don't rub the past in their face, but simple memories are important to make is whole.. Keep reasonable restraint in the exposure and intensity of the mementos, and discuss it with your partner, and be sensitive to their feelings, if need be,, pack them away. You'll ALWAYS REGRET it if you trash them...

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yes I believe it is ok to hold on to things from your past, it is what made you who you are and got you to where you are in life, now if they are x rated photos then yea those need to go, but otherwise theres nothing wrong with having them as long as you are open with your partner about them and you do not keep them thrown in your new partneres face. (excluding if your ex is your kids dad) I have many things from my past that remind me of the things I have been through and remind me that I may not be where I want to be but I sure as hell am not where I use to be.

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I have kids with my ex husband and we were married for 10 years. The divorce was amicable but he has not been amicable since. The pictures with all of us I give to my kids as I come across loose ones. My mom put all our albums together so over the next month I am going to separate those all together pages out so she can create an album just for the kids. It will always be at the house even when they are gone unless they agree to keep it at one of theirs. As far as cards and such: I gave him the ones that I or the kids gave him and threw out mine because they have no value to me. I gave the kids all the stuffed animals we shared. I am in a new relationship so I gave my daughter our bed and slowly I am replacing furniture and knickknacks that I don't want. I had a relationship after the divorce and he was throwing things away behind my back including letters from my oldest daughter's father who is my best friend. I had to let him go. If I am going to be with someone he needs to respect that I had a life before him and not be intimidated by it. My guy now we both have a kid together and we both have kids since ours with other people so we understand that there will be things from the past. His mom has pictures of him with his ex on display and my mom does too. Our pictures will go right alongside the rest.

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0 20

I think different things work for different people. If you are in a situation where you feel the need to keep things from a previous relationship, then do so, if you're not, then dont. Simple as that. I wouldnt suggest anyone to do things just because it fits my scenario. Again, what may work in my home, may not work in yours.

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0 20

If the mementos don't cause you to live in the past and /or cause problems in a new relationship that you want to be permanent, then it's O.K. There's also the matter of what you keep locked away and what you keep on display. There may be differing levels of what is appropriate depending on the situation.

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Yes ! It's something personal and previous .Tt

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Unless you're talking about a relationship that resulted in a child, that you are raising , and who should have a connection with their parent - I'm gonna go with 'No'.

If your intention is to have a successful new relationship, it's really best to let the past be in the past and let it go. I wouldn't rip out diary entries but there's no need to save lots of pictures and dried flowers or special gifts or have shrines of your exes all over the house.

Frankly, I'd even go so far as to suggest that an ex, who is alive and in contact with your child needn't continue to be a 'ghost' in your home and new relationship.

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Yes it is fine, photos is a must, my ex and i split when i got with my new partner he didnt like the photos around i took some down but explained to him that my ex is the childrens father i a dont have the right to take that away, it was me and him that split not the kids. so i keep photos up for them.

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I lost my 2 years relationship 4 months ago. My Husband left me with so many pains and since then I have been heart broken and shattered. I have emailed so many sites online looking for a good spell caster till i was directed by one Mrs Wendy Dustin from a forum to email this email address: BLESSEDSPELLHOME@HOTMAIL.COM At first I never believed him, it took him some time to convince me and something occurred to me and I said let me give him a trial. I was very shocked when my Husband called me 5 days after DR DAN were done with the spell casting . My Husband was crawling on his knees for what he has done wrong and i am very happy that we are together today because now he love and care for me and my kids like never before..I will advise you to contact DR DAN because he has done wonders in my life and i believe he can help you out. email: BLESSEDSPELLHOME@HOTMAIL.COM or his website: http://blessedspellhome.wix.com/dr-dan or call him +1 (310) 751-7818

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Life they say is not a bed full of roses. Have been heart broken for the past 2 years after 5 years of marriage. I can't emphasize about how it happened because it's a long story. My husband divorced me and went after his EX girlfriend leaving me hopeless. I really appreciate the help of GOOGLE why? because i found a helper on GOOGLE named Doctor Osemu Okpamen who helped me to restore my marriage with his white magic all within 12 to 16 hours after i got in touch with him via his website: ( http://doctorokpamenpowerfulspelltemple.webs.com ) Now i can boldly say that my husband is back and we are living happily like never before and i will forever be indebted to Osemu Okpamen for his miracle. Here are more of his contact info if you are in need of any kind of help. E-mail: doctorokpamenspelltemple@hotmail.com and what's app on +2348135254384

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JASON MOORE,AM FROM Philippines !My wife pack out of the house with my kids and said she was no longer interested in me anymore. She said all the abusive words and said am not a good husband because I wasn't working, instead I was wasting her time, so i contacted this Strong spell caster DR JATTO a week ago after reading Miracles about his spell over the net, I consulted him for a love spell, crying not knowing what to do. He told me that he will cast a lover spell for me so my wife will come back to me. After 4 days of casting the spell, my wife call me apologizing and begging me to come home. The tender that i was waiting for was approved and he started telling me that am a good husband that I must forgive her for the bad things she had said. Am thanking DR JATTO for the Faith and Trust he showed me. if any body is out there passing through any relationship difficulties should kindly contact him via website or emaildrjattolovespelltemple@gmail.com or drjattolovespelltemple@yahoo.co.uk or call him through his mobile number: +2347050270268 or contact him directly through his website: http://drjattolovespelltemple.webs.com/..

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Are you finding it difficult finding the right solutions to all your problems? you don't need to hide your problem because if you do, you will never find the solution to it. so i advice you to visit DR. UZOR SPELL TEMPLE today and get all your problem solved.money spell, financial problems, marriage problem, court case, what ever your problem is, get them solved because god didn't send you to this world to suffer.if you are interested you can contact via email {uzorspelltemple@gmail.com}or you can visit him on website: (www.uzorspelltemple.webs.com )

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Am from England, Oxford,UK ...HIV has been ongoing in my family for long..I lost both parents to HIV. As we all know medically, there is no solution or cure for HIV and the cost for Medication is very expensive. Someone introduced me to a man (Native Medical Practitioner) in Africa called Dr Erazua. I showed him all my Tests and Results and I told him that i have already been diagnosed of HIV and have spent thousands of dollars on medication. I said I will like to try him cause someone introduced me to him. He asked me sorts of questions and I answered him correctly. To cut the story short, He gave me some medicinal soaps and some herbs(have forgot the name he called them) and he thought me how am going to use them all. At first I was skeptical but I just gave it a try. I was on his Medication for 2 weeks and I used all the soaps and herbs according to his prescription. That he will finish the rest himself. And I called him 3 days after, I arrived and I told him what is the next thing he said, he has been expecting my call. He told me to visit my doctor for another test. Honestly speaking, i never believe all he was saying until after the test when my doctor mention the statement that am, HIV negative and the doctor started asking me how do I do it....Am telling this story in case anyone may need this man’s help. you can contact him directly on this email; dr.erazuagreattemple@hotmail.com

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My husband fell in love with another woman he met at work. And this woman did everything possible to break us apart because she wanted my husband to leave me and the kids and be with her permanently and she was also younger and attractive. After 3 weeks of their relationship my husband moved in with her. I loved him with my all my heart,and i was restless. I will snivel all day I tried few cheap spells but to no avail then I ordered the most powerful love spell from Lord Vasikar and I can assure you that i didn't regret it! I and my husband are back together and happier than ever. This spell caster took the other woman out of our lives permanently and totally. and our marriage is working out for us and there is so much love for me and the kids. If you are heartbroken and you want your lover back contact this spell caster Lord Vasikar, he is a top spell caster that i can guarantee you of his help. he has such a perfect view on love spells that I believe he can solve any case given to him. I recommend his love spell to couples in need of help. Use his services, website: http://experiencespelltemple.webs.com/ and also his Email: experiencespelltemple@outlook.com God Bless you Lord Vasikar. You can also call his number, +19566165139.

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I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor Osemu Okpamen brought back my husband that separated with me for good 4 years. Am Teresa Mandujano by name from Los Angeles. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor Osemu Okpamen for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for the past 4 years and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor Osemu Okpamen who i contacted online. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 12 to 16 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor Osemu Okpamen said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him... Email: Doctorokpamenspelltemple@hotmail.com, Website: http://doctorokpamenpowerfulspelltemple.webs.com, what's app him or call him on +2348135254384 for urgent respond.

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Am writing this article to appreciate the good work of DR OGALA that helped me recently to bring back my wife that left me for another man for the past 2 years. After seeing a comment of a woman on the internet testifying of how she was helped by DR OGALA. I also decided to contact him for help because all i wanted was for me to get my wife, happiness and to make sure that my child grows up with his mother. Am happy today that he helped me and i can proudly say that my wife is now with me again and she is now in love with me like never before. Are you in need of any help in your relationship like getting back your man, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, winning of lotteries, herbal cure for sickness or job promotion E.T.C. Viewers reading my post that needs the help of DR OGALA should contact him via E-mail: ( ogalasolutiontemple@gmail.com )

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It's unbelievable to know that what you think is impossible for you might be possible for another. My wife broke up with me January 4th 2016 and went back to her EX lover which gave me sleepless night. I searched for help everywhere hoping that i could get her back, not until i can across a doctor on the internet who a lady called Brooke Crane testified about. I contacted the doctor and he told me that i will get my wife back within 12 to 16 hours after he has done his work. I believed and had faith on his words on the 6th of January 2016, my wife came back home and started pleading and now we are living together again just like we did in our old times. If you need any help don't hesitate to contact the doctor called Osemu Okpamen via his E-mail: Doctorokpamenspelltemple@hotmail.com , whats-app him or call him on +2348135254384 , Website: http://doctorokpamenpowerfulspelltemple.webs.com , Mika Siren, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

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I'm Pamela Scott from Las Vegas,USA.I can’t hide this amazing testimony that took place in my life. A powerful spell-caster named Dr. Candova brought back my love who left me and run off with another woman while I was six months pregnant,it was a painful period for me because i loved him so much an didn't want to lose him,so i contact Dr.Candova via email: CANDOVALOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM and whatsapp him with his number +2348131612153,he cast a spell for me and behold my husband was back to me and we are now a happy family,contact him to fix your relationship because he did it for me and i completely trust Dr.Candova to fix your relationship,Thank you Dr.Candova for this.

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MY name is Sofia Liam I am from Chicago, USA, I and my husband were meant to be forever but he met another woman at his work place. She did everything to break us apart B'cos she was younger and attractive, and finally my husband moved in with her.i love him, I will snivel all day I tried few cheap spells but to no avail then I ordered the most powerful love spell from (experiencespelltemple@outlook.com) and I don't regret it! i and my husband are back together and happier than ever. If you are heartbroken and you want your lover back contact this spell caster Lord Vasikar, he is a top spell caster of the season, he has such a perfect view on love spells that I believe he can solve any case given to him. I recommend his love spell to couples in need of help. Use his services, website: http://experiencespelltemple.webs.com/ and also his Email: experiencespelltemple@outlook.com, you can also call his number, +19566165139. God Bless you Lord Vasikar. You are a great man faithful and honest father I will never forget you sir. Sofia Liam.

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I'm Frank Nelson from United State of America.I never believed in Spells or Magic until I met this special spell caster called Dr Ofemo... I have great joy in me as i am writing this testimony about the great man called Dr. Dr Ofemo When my Girlfriend left me i never taught that i will be able to get her back after all she has put me through, But i am so happy that after the interference of Dr. Ofemo i was able to get my Girlfriend back after 48hours and i can proudly to say, that who ever need help in getting there lover back should contact Dr.Ofemo on these contact details below drofemospelltemple@yahoo.com so I will recommend you to contact Dr Ofemo once you are in need of magic spell.he is sincere and real to help you out..drofemospelltemple@gmail.com his cell number +2348163387496 or his via web sit http://drofemospelltemple.wix.com/dr-ofemo

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Hello,
My name is Jessica Flora, Am from UK,i never believe there will ever be a solution to my relationship problem with my lover. my lover called Chris flora threw me out of his house and brought in another lady who he now feels the only best for him. until one day i receive a phone call from a friend in the city that my man is going out on a date with another woman in town, i told her i am also surprise too, because since Chris flora has left me he hardly think nor call me. so after some few days my friend called Martha called me and told me that she has found a man that is very powerful, and he is a great herbalist from Africa, truly we all knows that Africans are blessed with so much herbal voodoo powers which they use to help much people, so he told me that the man name is Dr. Ogbefi, that she will forward his email address for me so that i can contact him for help, so truly she sent me Dr. Ogbefi email address and i contacted him that faithful day. he mailed me after a great while that my man will be back to me if only i believe on his work,so after 24hrs i receive a phone call from smith Moore, and he started begging that i should please forgive him against all he had done to me.. he begged me of breaking my heart and letting the other lady a new heart. he promise me never to let go. now i and Smith Moore are now planning to get married as soon as possible. we are brought back with the great powerful love spell and blinded with Dr. Ogbefi spell, we are happy and glad. so i thank you sir for the great help you offer to me, because i think today this might be the only ways and means i can ever thank you of your work.. i am glad. you can contact him for a love spell today at: solutionoflovespelltemple@hotmail.com thank you sir. Email him on: solutionoflovespelltemple@hotmail.com

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Our magical powers are beyond your imagination. we could cast a spell on
your behalf regarding a relationship, your financial situation, future
events, or whatever is important to you. we have the power and we will use
the power. we are servants of igodo, and we could change the course of
destiny.
Get to us and we shall cast a spell for you. Tell us what it is you
want and we shall go about our work. Is it someone or something you
desire to have? Do you want wealth(Want to grow your bank account?,
Need funds to enjoy the good life? Tired of working hard and getting
nowhere?) or happiness, or a soul mate?

Send us your most important desire and we shall work our powers in your
favor. When filling out the online order form, be sure to tell igodo
what you want!

Name:..............................................
Home Address:......................
........
City:...................................................
Country:...........................................
Problem:...........................................
Sex:.......................................................
Age:....................................................
Phone Number:...................................
Name or ID card copy, scanning the person you want to cast a spell
On:...........................
Contact us now via email:greatigodospelltemple@gmail.com

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