Is it okay to serve alcohol to the adults at a kid's birthday party?

Lori - commented on Nov 17, 2011

I cannot believe people would get behind the wheel of their car, children in tow, after having even ONE drink at a party. Get a designated driver, get a babysitter, or DON"T DRINK. Be the responsible one. If we go to a party and want to have a drink....I ALWAYS do one of those three things. Your kids are not worth losing over one drink. I grew up in a family where the adults drank and NEVER drove. We never had to be worried about our safety. They would never put us in danger. I think THAT is teaching responsible drinking to kids..... Having a couple and driving them home is NOT!

Rozie - commented on Nov 17, 2011

Gurl, you obviously don't know that you can have ONE drink and drive a car after spending time at a bday party, unless you weight 25 pounds, then you may want to wait 5 or 6 hours before you get into your hoop-de.

Lori - commented on Nov 17, 2011

Of Course I know they claim it is safe to drive after one...but I say why risk it? I was not born yesterday. I know all about burn rates for alcohol consumption. One Glass of wine or beer per hour and all that jazz....but I still would NEVER risk it with my kids! (or anyone elses for that matter)

Carole - commented on Sep 1, 2011

i agree with Sapna...i just had my daughters 4th birthday party in the yard, and the adults came too...they had alcohol. Most of the time, the kids were together, and the adults were together, so the adults had "their" time....no one goes over board, but they enjoy socializing with other adults. I don't think kids, especially at that age, even REALIZE what the adults are drinking, let alone know what alcohol is (again, depends on the age group). And as far as someone putting down a drink, parents are usually pretty responsible watching out for their kid. It would be the same thing as if it were a regular BBQ at someone's house...everyone we know has kids, we get together for BBQ's, and there is alcohol...can u imagine a summer bbq with lots of people and NO ALCOHOL???? Chances of that kind of get together where adults don't drink (at all) are very slim...

Sapna - commented on Sep 15, 2011

Thanks ,Carole...I am real glad there are like minded / open minded pple..thumbs up !!!

Anne - commented on Sep 26, 2011

I think its absolutely fine serving alcohol such as beer and wine at a childs party. Not everyone you may invite has children, we have alot of close friends who are single also and who are like aunts and uncles to my kids, they want to be involved in there birthday celebrations.Most of our family live overseas so our close friends here are like our family. Enjoy the celebrations and plan the party how YOU want!!!!

Nicola - commented on Apr 14, 2012

100% Agree if you want to have a drink on your birthday fair enough bit not at a kids one.

Annabel - commented on Jul 18, 2012

couple of hours? I think my younger daughters 1st birthday party lasted 8, it was at least 1am when the last guests left. 1st birthdays are about the parents thanking their friends for all the help they had in the first year, at least thats how we looked at it. No party games, no unaccompanied kids just fun. Come 3rd birthday, thats when parties got serious, entertaining 12 toddlers, plus their parents, with not a glass of wine in sight.

Rhianna - commented on Feb 3, 2013

annabel sound like you were looking for Ritalin and restraints; not a buzz from alcohol which would make you even less reactive and responsive to the small children in need of supervision , and you can tell people the party starts at xx:xx and ends at xx:yy. That sounds like using a child's party as a cover for your own, as i don't imagine many toddlers were up the whole time and until 1 am? .

Jacqueline - commented on Jul 1, 2012

Couldn't have said it better myself. Great answer.

BethAnn - commented on Jul 18, 2012

I to agree...NO alcohol at a child birthday. I think I almost fell over when my husband started giving out drinks at our childs 1st birthday. She was the first grandchild. He saw nothing wrong with it but my family was horrified. This party is for the child and if you can't come to a party without having a drink then I think there is a problem.We never had alcohol at any childs birthday. Christmas or Easter! There is a time and a place for alcohol and a childs party is NOT the place. My view is that this party is child centered- their favourite food and cakes etc...I am not trying to please my guest at this aprty it is for my child. If you don;t like my rules at my home then don't come. I too have not ever accepted a drink at any religious occasion or at any childs birthday or any other child focused event.

Ashley - commented on Jul 19, 2012

I am pretty sure Christmas and Easter ARE religious occasions LOL and are you saying your husband has a drinking problem, because when you say he was passing out drinks then say "This party is for the child and if you can't come to a party without having a drink then I think there is a problem" That is what that sounds like. I don't think it's about not being able to go a few hours with out drinking, it's about whether or not to serve drinks or allow alcohol at a child's party. reasonable question since the word "party" does come up. If the question had been "Do you think it's ok to serve alcohol at Parent/Teacher night or Bible Group" I could understand this response. My son(the first grandson and great grandson) is 2 with a 3rd bday around the corner. We allowed a BYOB situation for both previous parties and will do the same for the next one. No one got 'wasted' and EVERYONE had a good time. Parents and kids. We all played responsibly and I have absolutely no problem with it :)

Anne - commented on Jul 24, 2012

that is exactly what i was thinking, no one was asking if you are allowed to drink and drive...if it is a gathering between friends kids and grown ups you know, why not...everyone is allowed to have fun, it is not about "you can't be without alcohol for a couple of hours" I managed pregnancy and nursing time without, gooosh, I like to have a glass of wine, and why not have it on a party!??! having a glass of wine or beer does not mean you get totally drunk and are not able to watch your child anymore, actually i never did wince my child is born (or i got pregnant and a long time before), it is always stupid to get totally wasted, however I do not drink when I am together with colleagues or parents (e.g. kindergarten) that i do not know

Theressa Anna - commented on Jul 18, 2012

I agree with you Misty, It is a special day for your child and the focus should be on the children. A friend of mine recently asked her daughter if she minded the adults having drinks at her birthday party and the answer was a resounding NO. I found that interesting.

Lorena - commented on Jul 18, 2012

Agreed. Kids party (Keyword) Kids!!!

Rhianna - commented on Feb 3, 2013

YES YES THANK U IF U CANT WAIT HOST AN AA MEETING NOT A CHILDRENS PARTY

Jmohojo - commented on Nov 15, 2011

That is a good point. This has happened at a family get together once we attended. However, some people feel drinking is an adult priviledge and we can't do everything "kid friendly". After all, we are adults and deserve to have adult drinks on occasion as long as it's not excessive. I respect those who do not drink, though. It's a personal choice, I feel.

Samantha - commented on Jul 18, 2012

What a GREAT comment!! So glad to see someone who sees a childrens party for what it is - a CHILDRENS party :)

Brandy - commented on Jul 18, 2012

I soooo agree, great post. I to think we lead by example and what kind of example do we want to set for our kids? I don't swear and when someone else does it hurts my ears let alone having my child hear it. I feel if they do not learn things at home then they will learn it from somewhere else and I much rather have them know our values, morals, and whats important, Mainly them. I recently went to my nieces birthday party at a bowling rink, and her dad was drunk. My sister was mortified and my poor niece was so embarassed. You think they don't know, realize, or understand? They do!!!! She was turning 5. The center is supposed be on them, noone or nothing else!!!

Andrea - commented on Aug 4, 2012

Andrea, your comment rings so much truth. I'm a young mother of two and alcoholism runs on all sides of the family, so does a lack of interest in school, etc. I feel that if encouraging children to take interest and exposing them to those good things allows them to flourish for the better, then exposing them to things like drinking at nonappropiate times (like their birthday when the focus should be on them) will make an impression as well. Some people say its sheltering them, but I think there's a time and place for everything and drinking at a kids party is slightly selfish.

Anndrea - commented on Jul 19, 2012

A child's party is not where you reinforce YOUR drinking habits... I guess you've never heard of kids sneaking drinks at these types of parties huh? I know you'd like to think your kids are trustworthy but all kids sneak to do something... I just hope it doesn't cost a child his life from alcohol poisoning... Not to mention the Dept. of Children Services will take your kids away if any child is accidentally harmed during these "harmless" Keg Kids parties. I guess you didn't hear in the new of the recent death of a child because the thought drinking alcohol was cool... Read Up & empower yourself for your family... or your life too can be an accident waiting to happen.

Becky - commented on Aug 1, 2012

She didnt say anything about a Keg. Just because a few adults have a beer or two does not mean that children r going to get in to the alcohol. If you are trying to teach your kids to be responsible with it and all the adults are being responsible, then there will b no chance of the kids going near the alcohol. Im not saying whether im for it or against it but if some of you are going to make arguments then make them logical ones.

Nichole - commented on Aug 2, 2012

oh geeze. it's not your job to teach your kids to be 'cool'! it's your job to set a good example by being able to go a few hours without a drink. you do have to drive home after that party with your kids in tow. what if you get into an accident on the way home afterwards? even if the accident is not your fault you could get into serious trouble that would follow you forever just because you couldn't make it through a kid's party without a beer. if you want to show your kids some responsibility about drinking...show them that you don't drink in the presence of children.

Barbara - commented on Jul 18, 2012

I agree here. A few beers and some wine never hurt anyone. And the grown ups who come by themselves and who have to drive the kids home always decline and those that come as couples can agree one can have it and the other one doesn't. If you make a big deal out of it then the kids will notice if not then they don't even care.

Denise - commented on Jul 18, 2012

I agree...uptight and just a bit judgmental. Adults who model responsible behavior to children are not "incapable of going a couple hours without alcohol" and really?? Sanctimoniously judging parents who have a beer a Chuckie Cheese?? AND...offering a drink to parents neither takes away ANY attention from the birthday child nor does it make the party all about the adults. Come on. That kind of thinking is what leads to all those terrible women you see on Bridezillas, who are completely incapable of thinking of anyone else but themselves on their big day.

Shannon - commented on Oct 2, 2012

LOVE IT!

Brandy - commented on Jul 18, 2012

Wow, you would actually let another adult bring alcohol to your kids party and not say anything. You obviously are not confrontational or something. How disrespectful can you be to actually bring alcohol to someones childs birthday party!! I would be turning them right around and showing them the door.

Jamika - commented on Nov 16, 2011

You could also buy blue cups for kids and red cups for adults and make sure they know red cups are not for kids. Thats just an example it doesn't necessarily have to be cups. But thats how you could help with the kids pickn up an alcoholic drnk

Misty - commented on Nov 17, 2011

Right because telling kids not to do something always works

Jamika - commented on Nov 17, 2011

Well it wrks for me because I actually discipline my child so when I say no it means no. This is for a party ages 3 and up

Nicole - commented on Nov 19, 2011

It isn't about not being able to go without alcohol. I agree that we mold our children from a young age but that is the perfect reason to drink a beer or a glass of wine in front of your child, to be able to hang out with your friends as well and show your child that there isn't anything wrong with it. Treat alcohol like its the most taboo thing on the planet and that is what a child grows up to think and it encourages them to go out and wheel around drinking. I would personally much prefer my son growing up thinking that alcohol is something that you can drink without making a big to do about as long as it is done responsibly. I would much rather educate my child on being responsible with such things rather than try telling them just don't do it or there is something wrong with drinking in moderation. Lead by example and show your child that being responsible with alcohol is the best approach and there is not a single thing wrong with enjoying it that way.

Tina - commented on Nov 20, 2011

The responsible thing would not to have it at all...I am very againts this and would not change my stand on it. I have talked to my kids about alcohol and the affects. We have talked about the pros and cons and am not swaying them to think my way by no means..sure I have my experiences with alcohol and it's not for me and have many functions without alcohol and we have a great time and while I'm a parent this is my duty to make better choices for my kids...I by the way grew up without alcohol ever in the home and have no regrets that choice for my parents. I could live in a world without alcohol-that's how low it is on my priority list..it's ashame people need to fill this void in their life with such a irresponsible substance. As far as a taching tool...horrible analagy....why not leave a laoded gun infront of them too and see what happens.Statistics show accidents happen no matter how well prepared one can be, but why chance it with children. A lot of things are done responsible but so many people still get hurt and we usually hear about it all the time and they are RESPONSIBLE ADULTS who are at fault. I would be furious if I found out my child or even I was in an accident and the other person had any level of alcohol in them. Not to mention people all react different to substances so I would not allow my children unsupervised knowing their was going to be alcohol and actually attend and event. It's not even about making it taboo..I think knowledge is power and the more you can educate the better but I like the fact that their is age requirements.

Denise - commented on Jul 18, 2012

Amen, Nicole.

Denise - commented on Jul 18, 2012

Or, drinking in front of your children can teach them that there are adult things and kid things. They shouldn't think they are your peer. They can't drink, drive, smoke, vote, marry, enter into legal contracts...etc. So, thanks for judging me, but (and brace yourself because this may come as quite a shock to you since you know me so well) I am fully capable of having fun without drinking. But sometimes I like to exercise my legal right to enjoy a drink.

Kellie - commented on Jul 25, 2012

I think it is okay for kids to see their parents drinking reponsibly at gatherings, but a child's birthday is not the appropriate venue.

Kristen - commented on Nov 16, 2011

You're a moron.

Andrea - commented on Jun 4, 2012

Setting the best example for your kids may make some parents "uptight" in your eyes, but parents who don't want their kids exposed to alcohol might think those who can't get through an afternoon without booze are trash. I think you should proofread your posts and think about what you are saying. You actually think that parents of a toddler that drink out of someone's booze filled cup are at fault because they didn't teach them not to drink out of random cups? Maybe those who simply must drink should grow up and keep dangerous substances away from little kids. Is it ok to leave other potential poisons in glasses laying around? What about guns? Should those be laying about too? Your logic is seriously flawed. People can do what they want because they can just blame their rotten influence on someone else. If you cannot set a good example for kids then just stay away from them.

Lisa - commented on Jul 26, 2012

Way harsh! Why don't you slice her head off too! I too am in favor of not having drinks at a party, but really?

Amanda - commented on Jul 20, 2012

see that is totally inapropriate....In this case the drinking involved not watching the children and it sounds as though it was overindulgent...this is totally different than the adults at a party having a beer or two while still enjoying the party and interacting with and properly monitoring the children. Having a few drinks does not mean that you CANNOT watch your children and it should not mean that in ANY situation...least of all for a CHILD's birthday party. It really sucks that you had to endure such an irresponsible group of parents and I am sympathetic with you. Thankfully you and the other Mom were there to be responsible for the children involved.

Susan - commented on Jul 18, 2012

In my experience, kids seem to start noticing that some drinks affect grown ups at around age 4. At 1st and 2nd b-day parties, which if we're honest are absolutely for the adults, I think a champagne toast or a glass of wine with a meal, if served, is fine. Should parents be chugging six packs of bear or doing shots? Of course not. If a guest overindulges, find somebody to drive him/her home --and don't invite that person next time you have a party. I know this is hard if it's family (my mom is an alcoholic who is not allowed to drink at my house, if she wants to participate in family events --which occasionally include alcohol). Once the parties really start to be "for the kids" --I think it depends on a lot of things. We hired a shuttle to pick up and take guests home for my son's 3rd b-day party. That was one (pretty expensive) solution. And when the parties become "parents optional" (age 7 or 8 usually) there's no reason for alcohol to be served at all, though it often is.

Monica - commented on Jul 18, 2012

Adults drink. Kids play. I have 3 kids and have had many parties. I have had drinks available for those adults whom wanted one. I have never had a keg or anything at a kids party. We save that for the adult parties. But....if the adults are responsible, who am I to say they can't drink. They are adults. Sometimes, they bring their own. As long as you educate your children about the effects of alcohol, it should be ok. Yes, we lead by example, but we can't stop living our lives because we have children. I believe parents who hide their children from real life will be serving their children an injustice later in life. Peace to all! Do the best you can to be a good parent to your children. Have confidence in what you do and they will turn out just fine :D

Cinnamon - commented on Jul 19, 2012

I have actually run into this conflict when I was not the hostess of one of my children's birthday parties. It's not that I think it's wrong to serve alcohol, I just felt it was unnecessary. Most likely you're having the party in the middle of the afternoon and centering it around kids games and fun, so I don't get why you would need to be drinking. It would be so much better for the adults to join in with the kids a little, rather than show them they need to drink to enjoy themselves.