Should I charge my grown kids rent?

It is becoming much more common for children to continue living at home for several years after high school or move back in with their parents after they graduate from college. But should grown kids be covering some of their own living expenses, even in mom and dad's house? Should parents charge their grown kids rent if they are living at home?

40  Answers

0 0

Yes I think they should pay rent. By paying rent it teaches the kids/young adults responsibility. You can't leave somewhere else for free, so why do it with your parents. I think you should sit down and figure a fair share amount. They would be looking at food, lights, water, and household needs like soap tissue, laundry liquid and much more. So I think they should be paying something

25
0 1

LOL...if you dont want your kids to live in a delousional world where they actually believe that the rent fairy comes and pays the rent. And the utilities magicaly turn on by themselves. And food and clothes are just given and not earned. Then by all means dont teach your kids to be responsible adults and let them live rent free. That way when they do actually get in the real world they sign up for welfare and continue to get something for nothing

23
6 42

good point, this happens very often

1 0

I'll play Devil's Advocate here from my own experience: Back in the early 1990s, my mom refused to let us pay when we came back, for our room or the car she loaned us as a graduation gift. She finally bent and allowed us to cover some utilities but her goal was to allow us to build a war-chest for things we needed. This was her gift to us - a financial boost during a lousy job market. From her perspective, why charge us to live an rooms she didn't use anyway, when we could save those funds for a car or whatever? We each lived with her a year or so and then got places of our own, about $5,000 richer than we would have been after renting that length of time. I used mine to put a down payment on a car and fund my IRA that year.

Clearly, given our implacability on WANTING to help pay and chafing under the lack of independence, she'd managed to teach us fiscal prudence, a desire to return her generosity, and ingrained a desire to carry our own weight long before we returned from college. We also came from a single-parent, lower income family where looking for economies and leverage were something we learned young.

17
0 5

Our son is taking a year off study to earn money before going to uni. We are going to charge him rent and put it away in an account to cover his rent the following year at uni. He plans to save the % of his earnings to give him some spending money.

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0 110

My daughter is going to community college and works a part time job. We do not charge her rent, but she does pay for her own phone and personal expenses (out with friends, clothes etc). She is only 19. I think if she were out of college and still living with us things may be a little different, and at that point we would charge her something and most likely put it in a savings account for her.

10
0 3

I agree, if your daughter is in school that makes a difference. We always help them when going to school, because the goal of continuing ed is financial independence.

0 49

Yes, they should pay something. You could easily put the money away they are paying for rent, and when they do move out you could give it back to them for a down payment. It would also depend on each situation the amount you charge. If they decided to go back to school or unemployed, you could charge less then if they were working. But if going to school or unemployed there would need to be some guidelines so they are not unemployed for years and years. It gets them used to paying something each month. The money they are paying you they would get back, but if they were renting somewhere else it's money gone. My brother still lives at home because he has the easy life. Doesn't have to work, mom pays for everything, so why would he want to leave. I know part of the problem is my mom also, but at age 42 you would think that he would want to be on his own. But who would if everything was provided for you.

8
1 0

I agree with you: The answer to this question hinges on whether the kids in question have learned responsibility and developed the desire to give more than they take to their community or family. If they appreciate that living off parents or friends without giving back is parasitic and a little shameful, you have more options, including what my mom did: let us live for very little except manual labor and contributing to utilities (over our objections, I should add). She was disappointed when we left because the manual labor contribution to her was more important than the money. If the kids think freeriding is ok or something to be proud of, then yeah, I'd want to make that as uncomfortable as possible through making them support themselves and govern the stay with hard deadlines and rules. This discussion has galvanized my desire to ensure my son truly understands personal finance by the time he's out of high school.

1 5

I do believe that grown kids should help in any way that they can. I personally am in a situation where I have my 19 year old daughter, her 20 year old fiance, and their 17 month old son living with us. My "son-in-law" is very helpful. From the time he found out my daughter was pregnant he has worked. He used that money to buy things for her and the baby. He has been out of work for over a year and on unemployment but again has used that money for my daughter and their son. He buys the diapers, wipes, clothes when he can, food requests from her and special things like snacks for the baby. I do pay their cel bill right now but we already have an agreement that when he returns to work full time (which he is getting ready to do) he will take my daughter's number and his over to their own account that I will no longer be responsible for. He also helps around the house by doing a week of dishes and he helps with their laundry. My husband and I both feel that this is a way of them taking responsibility for right now.

8
0 0

Where is the hell yes box?

7
0 0

Absolutely!! Thought that box would be highlighted and flashing!!

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79 37

Simple answer is... if they are earning then yes
I don't know your living or financial situation and I'm not asking but I know that in the UK (I presume you're in the UK) if you are claiming benefits for a child, once that child leaves full time education, your benefits for that child stops. And if you are renting and claiming housing benefit, anyone living with you who is earning, their earnings will be taken into account and your benefits lowered even if the earner isn't giving you money.
Obviously if you aren't renting, then you aren't receiving HB so it doesn't really affect you in this case but if you have lost some benefits for your child and they are earning, why not charge them rent for the money you've lost with them not being in full time education.
It also prepares them for when they move out and have to manage their own finances.

7
2 16

We have told our son who just turned 18 that he will be expected to pay $100 per month for rent starting 2013. The reason for this is simple, he needs to get a job! If it were up to him, he'd be living here for the rest of his life without a job! Not going to happen! So your asnwer is not so simple after all.

6 13

I think that adult children should pay rent if they continue to live with their parents and are not in college. I lived with my mother my last two years of college (when I transferred to a college close to home). I actually had to make her allow me to pay rent because she does not believe that adult children should pay rent. It was a very small amount to which she would agree, but made me feel as though I was helping her!

7
0 19

As a parent of adult children and as as sister of irresponsible siblings, my parents did not charge them rent for many years or for coming back to stay each time they decided not to be responsible for work ethic or paying bills to care for themselves or children. Now my parents are in their 70's and still have to care for one of nephews that is 18 because he feels the elderly should have to cater to his whims and him splurge his money on his pleasures. His mother comes whining to mom every time she over spends and expects mom to hand her money for the least little thing she wants and lies about what it is for. She lives in HUD housing and receives child support and help for food for her children. Her boyfriend pays the other bills.

My other sister will not pay her bills once she is made to move out of the house and then looses everything and moves back in so mom and dad has to pay all the bills and she can splurge all her money on her boyfriend, surely not on her kids. She will not even put food in here for her kids but expects mom and dad to put food in here for them and supply all utilities.

Both of my younger sisters did not buy their first car or pay their insurance or pay for their school clothes when they were in high school. They had no financial responsibility so they think they should have no responsibility.

In my opinion, Children should pay on bills and learn responsibility. My children had to earn allowance and do chores for extras they wanted. If my children broke or destroyed others property, they took their allowance and paid for it. My 6 year old, collects all the change he finds laying on the ground and has been saving it, and we are depositing it in the bank to start his college fund. So far to this day he has collected $440. He earns allowance, and helps with chores, and he understands things are not free.

5
0 0

where is that hell yea box!

0 20

I am 22 years old. I have two kids and i lived with my mom for a year while i was pregnant with my second kid. In order for your kids to understand what your financial cost are you should make them pay a portion of your rent and utilities. If they were on their own they would have to be doing it by themselves anyway. Nothing in today's society is free. Young adults think that if they could live with their parents then they get off without paying bills. Trust me I was there at one time. But when I finally moved out i was like "bills, what bills?' and did not know where to start. It was one responsibility that i needed to learn and learn fast. so if you dont want your kids to be lost when they move out , then you might want to teach them that paying bills is a must and that it is a responsibility that every has to take on when living on their own. Good luck! they may think your being cruel but it will so be worth it and they will thank you later on.

5
0 14

Yes, you should charge your grown kids rent if they are not enrolled in college at least part-time. And even if they are in school, they should cover their own living expenses such as special requests for food or beverages you wouldn't normally have in the house. Any additional expenses that one wouldn't have if the grown children were not living at the house should be discussed as well.

5
0 0

We have two boys 21 and 23. Our 23 year old has graduated college but could not find a job....like everyone else. We funded his phone, insurance, and car payments and he paid as much as he could on a part-time salary. He now has a job(not full-time yet) and will be paying all his own bills for now and will eventually being paying rent. He really wants to have his own place....he just can't!! I love having my boys here but I know they will eventually go so I am thanking God and enjoying every minute while I can!!

4
1 0

When I moved back home for a while after College, my father decided he was going to charge me rent, I was so angry I couldn't believe he would 'treat me that way'. Now that I look back, it was fair for him to do it, given my age, the fact that I was working and I had supported myself and lived on my own before (in another cheaper province), he was right. I hated him at the time for a few days but now I see that it motivated me to get out and find my own way to live and get an apartment. I figured if I was paying rent then I should at least get out and have my own privacy!!!! Years later, I can appreciate the fact that he did it, it was a hard lesson for me at the time but if he hadn't done it I think I would still feel a sense of entitlement to fall back on him when I please. He was probably trying to teach me a lesson and it's a good thing he did otherwise I might still be there!!
On the other hand I see friends moving in with their parents to save money to buy houses and even though it seems like a step backwards - they end up getting ahead much quicker, and it's nice that some parents are that supportive.

3
0 0

Kids, especially grown children who work should pay rent and understand that you can't live anywhere for free! They also have to understand that the bills, especially the grocery bill and electricity bill tend to increase when they move back home. They'll be more independent and responsible when they learn this lesson and get back out on their own.

3
9 0

I love what Sylvia said.My daughter and her boyfriend of 4 years have had to move back in with us.Even though we feel we gave our girls the best tools to live outside the home one learned great and the other one not so good.The one that has moved in is the 2nd one.She has to kids but at this point only has them on the weekends. She had gotten divorced and they felt that she was at that point unemployed and their Dad was more stable.She was still trying to make it on her own after they separated But things were to hard so her boyfriend gave up his place early to help her from losing a place for the kids to call home.She wanted to keep from coming home as long as possible.She did find a great job but it still wasn't enough to make it because he had his own bills too.The place they lived wasn't safe they had their car broken into 2 times and there was someone running around with a gun and that was the last straw so they broke that lease and begged to move in here.Now they had 2 broken leases.But you know what they are working on paying both of them back so it takes a big chunk out of their pay checks. Because they want to start over again on their own. We decided that charging them rent even when they had all these bills was for the best. because if they were out there on there own they still would have never found a place to live this cheap.They also help with lights and cable and food for her kids. I love being able to see my grandkids on the weekends and They are starting to talk about them moving in with us too really soon. Only because her daughter is becoming a young ladie and needing her mother more.And I think their Dad did an Awesome job so far. But he could use a break too.I am happy that they can talk things out and do whats best for the kids.And yes their rent and utilititys will go up a little.God helps those who can not help themselves all others will have to keep on trying harder.Life is hard and us making to easy for them doesn't do them any good.

0 0

I say yes because it helps build character and prepare them for the world away from home. However I don't think parents should go over board. What they should do is help them work out a budget that allows them to contribute, save, and be able to pay for any extras them may want like cell phones, clothes extra. In this economy the motto should be Budget Budget Budget!

2
0 5

my son pays his insurance and car payment and I ask for $100 a week as well - this is the same amount I paid my dad in 1978 when I came home from college - reasonable I think for the time

2
2 9

Yes I feel they should and will be charging my children rent when they are of age also.
As mature adults they have responsibilities to help out with living expenses and household costs which they contribute to. The question we want to ask ourselves is what kind of children are we raising. I know i want to raise kind, considerate and responsible human beings. :)

2
7 0

I'm,22 and live with my mom I'm also a single mom of 2 children. When I became pregnant at 16 my mom told me in order to continue to live with her I had to get my education and work at least part time. My mom is also a single mom, we work together to make sure all the bills are paid. some months I pay the majority others she does it depends on who has the money when the bill comes in. It's been a blessing to be able to live with my mom and not on my own. I feel like my boys have really benefited from it. Based on that I do think grown children should pay rent or at least a bill or two. It's up to the parent to sit the child down and go over the bills and how much they can help with then. It will give the child insight on how the real world works. We don't live in a free world everything costs something.

2
10 0

YES you should it makes them ready for the real world, It makes them understand being an adult,also it makes them appreciate what their parents went thru and understand the real world,it also makes not take life or anything for Granted

1
0 0

Have a 21 yr old stepdaughter living with us. She currently doing an apprentaship and is earning £100 a week.Plus she is earning other monies on the side. We have had no rent or contributions towards the house for nearly 2 years. Shes been spoken to about the situation and gets verbally abusive towards anyone that opens their mouth about the subject.Since she was born my hub has been paying into a savings account. Which pays up this year. Unfortunatly its in his xwifes name so she basically has say in where it goes. We found out yesterday that she is expecting to have above said monies which will work out at nearly £3000 for a car and the insurance. Hubby was saving that for a deposit on a flat to be honest. At least that way when she moves, she will always have that money for further investment.I have told him no way. And that she should be given the choice of either using that for a deposit on an apartment with her boyfreind or a freind even. Or she gets asked to leave NOW with no financial help from us. She is here from friday through till late monday night when she goes to her mums till friday. We are lead to beleive that she pays no rent there either but then her mother and her hub are well off with their own business ect ect. I want £20 a week from her and she is refusing point blank to pay us a penny. Its not fair on my boys seeing this go on, And I am worried about the implications its going to have on them. Our bills are rising and she is getting away scott free. Hub is not very forthcoming with asking her to leave, but he is getting very angry at her attitude. And since he has found out what she wants to do with the money hes worked so hard to pay every month his way of thinking is changing slowley. Do you think she should be given the ultimatum. Or am I being too harsh. May I add that she has her nails done and has nights out most weekends. She also smokes.

1
0 0

My husband has since changed the lock on the front door. Funnily enough shes hardly ever here now. We have messed up her timetable. But he is still refusing to give up the room she uses, so that our eldest son can go in there. My stepsons girlfriend told me recently she is fed up with listening to her go on about how much money she has, while the rest of us have to pay our way. And the reason she has so much is because she refuses to pay anyone... She can harp on about not having anywhere to stay the weekends..but since they lock has been changed where is she?????Not here. Not paying for the room that is still being kept for her, the room with all of her belongings in, the room that is still being heated. Some kids need to know the meaning of money, and that things arnt for free. And even if you arnt staying in said room it still needs paying for. We dont all go on holiday and not pay our bills just because we arnt there.

0 3

Absoulutely! My Mom had me pay rent as soon as i turned 18 and had a job. It was good because it motivated me to be independent and get out on my own.

1
0 3

Kids need to be given expectations, no matter if they are 5 or 20..they have to be taught to be held accountable and responsible. I find no problem in charging rent and or expect them to off set some of the expenses in the home they living in. Even if the rooms in my home are not being used, it makes sense to show them that although they are more than welcomed back in their home, there are expenses related to everyday living and they are not immune to the responsibilities of living. I have learned that if they help support the foundation they understand the cost of living and are accountable for their actions such as use of basic needs (electricity, etc)

I cannot support the idea of just allowing a grown-up living with the mentality that they owed something in life. i charged rent to my grown kids but understood the financial situation they were in so in return, for the rent I charged, I saved 40% of it and returned it to them when they moved out. Worked out in many many ways for the now and for the future.

1
0 0

I think we live in a different economy than in the past and that children are staying home longer. I think that kids (18-23) should be able to cover their own expensences and contribute to the household in some fashion aggreed upon by the parents and adult child. My family did nothing to financially support me when I was a young single mother with a baby. I didn't understand at the time, but now I am thankful because I feel a sense of pride for all I have accomplished. When you take financial support from someone you are obligated to considered their opinions in your life. Financial independence comes with a certain amount of freedom and privacy that allowing your family to support you for an extended period of time does not.

1
3 27

What fun to read all the replies!
My oldest daughter is currently an Au Pair, and will start studying next year. I believe charging rent all depends on your personal circumstances. My daughter does not pay rent, BUT she is responsible for paying part of her car. She also has to help with household chores (and she's not allowed complain ;-) ). She mainly buys her own toiletries and clothes, and is responsible for her own fuel and spending money. On the days she's not working, she has to fetch her younger siblings from school and take them to their activities - which helps a lot, since I'm a working mom.
She has been very good - and I do believe that the responsibility she's taken on at this age (19) is more than enough - I am very proud of her!

1
1 0

The best way to teach your child responsibility, if they are still living at home after college or graduating, is to make them pay rent. That will teach them to budget their money wisely. If you want to help them out when they move out, save up all of the money that they paid you in rent, with out them knowing, and give it to them as a gift when they finally purchase their first home or car. This way, you taught them how to become responsible with their money and still was able to help them out when they moved out.

1
16 0

If a child has graduated from High School, has no legitimate reason to keep them from working, and is living back under their parents' roof, they should be paying something - especially if they are back at home because they're in debt and trying to "get back on their feet"...teaching our children how to be financially independent and wise is part of parenting.
An agreement should be set forth between parent(s) and child regarding the amount of money, what it "covers" (increase in utility costs, groceries, room/board etc), when it is to be paid, how long the arrangement stands, and what other expectations are there (will the child be expected to pitch in with housework, yardwork, errands, restrictions on visitors etc).
No child should be living rent-free if they are gainfully employed!

1
1 2

Yes - teaches them the value of money and the "real world" cost of things. even if all you do is save it to help them when they eventually want their own place or wedding etc,
if they wernt living with you they would have to pay someone rent.
i charged my daughter and she felt this was wrong so moved in with her boyfriend. she soon came back when she had no going out money cos of all the bills she had.

1
54 0

I see nothing wrong with it. They have to learn what responsibility is in the real world. My older kids paid for their share of expenses. There was 6 of us in the house at that time. I divided the bills by six and that is how I determined how much to charge them. I didn't include car payments or car insurance unless they drove our vehicles. Everything else was included. they used the electric, the satellites for TV and computer, the heat, ate the food, used our supplies, our washer and dryer and lived under our roof. So they shared in house payments as well.

1
34 27

They should either be paying rent or going back to school. If they are done with school then for sure they should be working and paying rent. Even if it's nominal, grown children should help with rent, utilities and board.

1
34 27

A side note...My parents made my brother pay rent, utilities and board while he lived with them. When he moved out he found out that they had been putting that all aside for him to be able to afford a place to rent. Which I think is great.

23 0

We did not charge my daughters rent but made them save a certain amount each month from their salary.
We even gave them more money when they left to get married.
We did not want to take money off them which could be subject to inheritance tax when they were the beneficiaries of our estate but we did point out that estate may not be as much when we pass away.

Marcia

1
2 0

Yes, techinically they should be out on their own. If they are employed, they need to pay their way. don't make the rent outrageous but they need to get out of your home and into their own.

1
243 64

If my child were going to school full time, and had at least a part time job, then I wouldn't charge her for room and board and utilities, but she'd be responsible for her car and its insurance, her entertainment expense, and her clothes. If she wanted to live in my home after finishing college and had a job, I'd then charge her rent which would include utilities also. However, if she were only visiting during the summer, for example, I wouldn't charge her rent then either. She'd be responsible for her personal expenses though, of course.

1
0 15

Yes. As if they lived away they would be paying for thier own rent food etc., However, what if they are living at home but at Uni and have a part time job. .... think then they should still pay some, Because again if living away they would be and Job money would not tbe just for pocket money would it.
It is a bit of a feeling sorry for them BUT not letting them get away with not learing the grown up things they should be facing.

1
0 20

Yes, it gives them the resposibility if they was on there own, but i wouldn't charge them alot or they will never leave and get on there own.

1
0 0

Yes. I think that it is an excellent way for them to learn responsibility of having rent to pay and it also helps the household, being a single mom and self-employed, with the extra expense of having them at home. I think that it is also important that they pay on time and that there are consequences if they don't, just like real life!

1
0 15

Yes you should make them pay after all if they had a place of their own it would cost more than they would pay you, we all help our children no matter how old they are but they have to learn the value of money and the people who help them or they will think they can get away with not paying for anything, I have 5 grown up children who have their own place to live and I still help them when they need help but if I lend money they always pay it back or they can not ask again, it called helping to make your children better people I hope you can see this and do the right thing, best of luck Margaret PS; think what it cost to fed, wahs clothes and every thing else your children do while they live with you unless you are rich these days no one can afford no to have so hepl with the bills

1
872 0

If the parents need the money, yes. If the children need to have less disposable income to curb irresponsible spending, yes. If the children are making every effort to be responsible and need the benefit of free housing, no. I've always liked the idea of the parents banking the money they collect and giving it back when the child needs it for a worthy cause, like a down payment on their first house.

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1

I and my three siblings lived rent free, in a beautiful home, all through high school. When we entered university (most of us studied abroad), I had my tuition and residence and living expenses fully paid. So did all of my siblings. I then moved back home when I was accepted into one of the best law schools in the country. I had my full law school tuition, a beautiful waterfront apartment, and all my living expenses fully paid for. My brothers and sister have also had the same advantages. I never had to worry about money - only academics. I was always welcome to live at home (expense-free) during summer/holidays. Upon graduation, I was hired by a full service city firm, and began working with quite a high starting salary firm as an associate. My sister is currently specializing in orthopedic surgery, and has her tuition, residence and expenses fully paid for. My older brother was also supported through his law degree, masters, and all three CPA exams. He was hired by an incredibly prestigious corporation and has a starting salary of six figures. My younger brother was fully supported through his bachelors and masters degrees in mathematics in Cambridge University. Upon graduation he was hired in London, and then moved to New York City, to write trading algorithms for Goldman Sachs. All four of us lived at home with full support until we entered the working world. We were always told that, whatever we achieved academically, would be fully backed financially. It was up to us how far we wanted to go. Interestingly, the friends I had who were from "pay-the-rent-as-soon-as-you-turn-18" families all ended up dropping out of school, not going to university, and getting minimum wage jobs to fulfill that request. If you dont support your children, no one else will, and children from other families/cultures who DO believe in supporting/sacrificing for their children, will quickly take that advantage, and your children will not be able to compete.

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13 0

If you don't charge them rent they will never leave. I know I wouldn't if have left my parents house if they didn't push me. When my kids were in high school they had jobs at fast food joints for spending money. After they graduate high school they had to split the rent and all the bills to stay home because I looked at it like they were adult roomates now. My son paid me 600 a month and ended up moving in with a friend after a year because the rent was 400 a month. He has been on his own since. Had I not charged rent he would never have left and really why would he? It also showed him just how expensive it is to live as an adult in todays world.

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