Should I put my child in daycare while I'm at home?

Sometimes Mom just needs some time to herself! Whether you're a SAHM who needs a day or two to get some important things done without distraction, or whether you're a work-from-home mom who needs a certain number of hours daily without needing to make snacks, enforce time outs, and change Dora DVDs, do you think putting your child in daycare while you're at home can be a good idea? How do you get much-needed time to yourself when your kids are still at home?

40  Answers

12 16

Absolutely. A good daycare can be great socialization for yoru child. Not to mention, a much needed break yourself - a re-charge youcould say. I believe daycare gets them ready for kindergarten/preschool - especially if you find a daycare faciity that follows a 'school type' regiment. Go for it:)

17
12 3

I think it depends on your reason for wanting to send them. I have chosen to be a SAHM and I don't work, so why would I send my child to daycare?? Choosing to be a mom 24/7 is part of the job. I do get my time for myself, but that comes last. Only when my husband or parents want to spend some quality time with my son, do I take the oppurtunity to do something for me. Now preschool is different. I do believe that children need that, but only once they reach a certain age and maturity level. Each child is different. But it should never be used just as a means to get rid of your kids for a while. They grow up so quickly, why not spend as much time with them as possibe? You are they're best teacher and role model. That's just my take on it.

15
0 11

lucky you have family that will look after your child while you can have some time to yourself, some of us aren't so lucky. With all my family interstate, and no friends that live close by, we really have no one to take my 17 month old for a few hours so I can have some time to go shopping, clean the house or just sit and take a breath. I put my son into daycare for one day a week and he loves it! He gets a chance to play with other kids, play with different toys and do activities that he doesn't do with me. Honestly, sometimes I think he gets a bit bored doing the same things at home all the time, so I think it's good for him and great for me. A well rested mother means a much happier baby!

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3 15

Very definately! And don't let other smug moms make you feel bad about it either. Unfortunately, I had to go back to work early (Sarah was 6 weeks old), but my child is so socially advanced and well-adjusted for her age. If I was a SAHM I would do it, although not so soon.You need to look after yourself (and your mind) to be able to give your family the best of you.

10
108 11

Well said, Linda!

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108 11

As a former preschool teacher and now an in-home childcare provider, I say absolutely!! It is so important and valuable for a child to have the type of interaction that is provided in a child-based atmosphere. Of course you are your child's "teacher", but being with other children opens up a completely new, different, and very important door to your child's learning and socializing abilities-even if it is only 2-3 times a week.
Also, might I add, that as a busy mommy of one, two, or even three+ kids-you totally need and deserve that "me" time!

6
15 2

i think if you can afford it, go for it. a mom needs time just like dad's./ dont feel guilty because your child will be learning and willl be getting the social skills she will need for the rest of her life!

6
10 15

absoloutely agree Vanessa...Im about to do it myself just to have a day to myself and hoping my husband might have his RDO's taken on the same day so we can hang out together like we used to and yes also good for the child..

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4 31

I am a SAHM with a four year old son and a two year old daughter. We moved to the country about 5 years ago and as much as we tried, we just didn't meet other people to socialize with. I was actually having anxiety over putting my son in preschool because I love having him home with me, but at the same time, I wanted him to get that socialization. My intention was to have him go part-time, but the cost was so minimal that I started him out five days a week for three hours per day and then I could reduce it if he didn't like it as much (it’s harder to increase the time if you want to later). Anyway, since he's been in school, he's learned how to take instruction from other authority figures; he's more independent; he takes turns and shares better; his tantrums have disappeared altogether; and they teach him concepts that I didn't even know he was ready for. Not only has it been good for him, but I have been able to spend more one-on-one quality time with my daughter and we have made wonderful new friends with the parents and children at the school. If it’s not a cost issue, there are just so many rewards.

5
100 8

I think it would be a great idea. I totally wish I could afford to put my son in daycare at least one day a week. I have him to myself 24/7 and sometimes, I'll be honest, it gets to me. I love being a stay at home mom, but having an occasional break would be so nice.

5
10 16

Wish I could afford it too!!! Even 1 day....but where I live at 40-50$ a day when I don't make any money for being a stay at home mom, I just cant pay that....

20 14

I think you are the parent an whatever you decide for your child is best for your child. Everyone here has their own thoughts and opinions, BOTTOM line, to each their own. There is no right or wrong answer here. We all live different lives and all our children are different from the other, so we need to do what's best for our child and our lifestyles.
So whoever decides to put their kids into daycare, GOOD FOR YOU!! Whoever decides to keep their children at home, GOOD FOR YOU!!
NO one should be judging anyone.
Whether your child is in daycare or at home, as long as they are socializing in some way and getting taught in some way, that's all that matters.

4
20 14

Oh and I forgot to add....whether you put your child in daycare to get some "me" time or you wait until your children go to bed to get "me" time, there;s nothing wrong with any of those choices. We all decide to have children or not to have children. Whther you have them or not, everyone needs a little down time here and there. So however you decide to get it is up to you and doens't make you a bad mother.

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14 23

Moms need time to energize to be a better mom as well as a more balanced woman, I work out of the home 3 days a week and my daughter goes to Daycare 3-5 days a week, When she was a baby she only went 3 days a week MAX but once she turned 18 months she wanted to go almost every day to "play". She goes to a home daycare with 4 other Children and absolutely loves it. She is now 23 months and very well socialized, educated and loved both at home and at daycare. She can say her alphabet as well as recognize her letters. She can count to 13, knows her basic colors, as well as knows about 20 words so far from the your baby can read series. The days that she does go when I am at home we wake up, snuggle and have breakfast together then get dressed and she gets to daycare right before lunch and nap. Then I can run my errands, pay bills and make dinner the couple hours she is gone and when I pick her up she has my undivided attention for a few hours without me having to clean and cook or handle business calls. Its not about the quanity of time you spend it all about the quality!!

4
12 0

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE DENYING SOME MOMS NEED FOR THIS: i don't think you have ANY idea how nice it is to have family close, people you know so well and can count on so much and you can trust with your children to just take them any time you need a break. There are many of us who have to search and search for childcare that we trust (and even then we still feel guilty b/c it isn't family), pay for it, cart the kids to and from it...all this effort just to get some time to clean our house, run errands, or just have some quiet. I think you need to appreciate what you have and not dump on other moms who don't have it. These women ARE embracing motherhood and ARE enjoying special time with their kids, but sometimes we all need a break and shouldn't be made to feel guilty about that from people like you who are privileged to have possible breaks from parents at the tips of your fingers. Keep in mind as well, that many moms suffer from anxiety, depression, post partum depression (clinically it has been known to last up to 18 MOS AFTER ONSET, which could 6 mos after the baby is born or later). These moms are doing the best they can with the sometimes very limited resources they have.

I have no family close by. Most of my family, though only a few hours away are too busy to come visit to help with the kids. All my friends have small kids themselves and are busy dealing with them. I suffer from extreme anxiety and depression that is being treated in about four different ways and I am coping okay. But I still take my kids to the YMCA for 1-2 hrs a day where they go to the day care and I get to be alone. Unfortunately, I don't get to go run errands or just be at home to clean or rest without the kids, but it is somewhat of a break at least.. This has been my mental salvation. And I still feel guilty about it, b/c I want my kids to be with me, under my observation and supervision and not anyone else's. I put enough guilt on myself, so it really ticks me off when I get it from other moms. Have some compassion for each other and less judgment about how to be the perfect SAHM.

3
21 5

If you need a break occaasionally, sure, but know that there are real costs, other than financial, to putting your young one in daycare, including separation anxiety, caregiver trust issues, exposure to illnesses, behaviors and parenting styles which may or may not mesh with your own. While daycare is a must for some dual-income families or single-parent households, it's not ideal. Since young children form attachments and can have socialization issues if presented with a large array of caregivers, a better option, especially for very young ones, would be to find a part-time sitter- an older neighbor, or someone who would be a constant for the child.

2
3 22

You chose to be a parent, deal with it. Id love to stay at home full-time, but can't, the kids grow up so fast & the first 5 years fly, then there at school everyday, then thats when your so called "me" time comes into it. Relax & enjoy your time alone when there in bed

2
12 0

I am sorry you are jealous of SAHMs, but don't pretend to know how hard it is to be one just because you aren't able to be one. They are with you constantly, you have to work everything around them, every decision has to take whether they can handle something, have they eaten enough, do their diapers need to be changed, what is their mood like? all before you can do simple things like run an errand, take them outside to play, take them to a library group or playdate. You are stuck at home, in your little box, with them a lot sometimes, especially if you have two who are on different nap schedules. And small ones are so wondeful for hugs and snuggles and playing, but they also ask you a billion questions, have tantrums constantly, pull at your pants, peck you like small chickens constantly. I wouldn't give any of it up for the world, but IT IS FREAKING HARD. You have to put yourself and your wants the backseat every second of the day. Even at a job you have more autonomy than that. So take your "deal with it" and stuff it. Because these moms ARE dealing with it the best way they can.

0 20

I think the only reason this would be ok is if you do not have family that lives nearby that would enjoy spending a few hours with your little one every once in a while. Why we are being pushed into being separated from our children as a way of 'couping' with motherhood is a selfish perspective to have. Our children are only with us for such a short time we should want to and enjoy sharing our lives with them. Don't get me wrong I am grateful to my parents when I need to run errands for the day or have special time with my husband or girlfriends, but I am very happy to see them when it's time to come home and hear about their adventures with grandma and grandpa. Embrace mother hood and surround yourself with other moms who feel the same.

2
12 0

I don't think you have ANY idea how nice it is to have family close, people you know so well and can count on so much and you can trust with your children to just take them any time you need a break. There are many of us who have to search and search for childcare that we trust (and even then we still feel guilty b/c it isn't family), pay for it, cart the kids to and from it...all this effort just to get some time to clean our house, run errands, or just have some quiet. I think you need to appreciate what you have and not dump on other moms who don't have it. These women ARE embracing motherhood and ARE enjoying special time with their kids, but sometimes we all need a break and shouldn't be made to feel guilty about that from people like you who are privileged to have possible breaks from parents at the tips of your fingers. Keep in mind as well, that many moms suffer from anxiety, depression, post partum depression (clinically it has been known to last up to 18 MOS AFTER ONSET, which could 6 mos after the baby is born or later). These moms are doing the best they can with the sometimes very limited resources they have.

0 54

I am a single mum with 2 young kids. My 16month old goes 2 days a week to day care (Mon, Wed) and my 3yr old daughter goes 2 days (tues, wed). this allows me to spend a day each 1 on 1, and day to myself to get the much needed housework and yard work done without distraction or having them around cleaning chemicals etc. I went back to work when my daughter was 11weeks old so this time i get by being a sahm is very important to me and them, but by going to daycare those couple of days a week they get the socialisationa nd stimulation of a different environment and also helps as my kids are very attatched to me.

1
1 0

yes ,the child needs to see other children and makes a contact with others ,play ,talk ,share .also mom needs time to herself without kids . i have 2 boys 3 years and 1 year and i like to have break 2 hours everyday at least to recharge my power !! i have no family here to put my kids with, so i decided to put my older child in daycare 3 day per week its less expensive for me and i believe that he needs to be away from me i want to know haw he will act without his mom and he should have friends in the same age to play with them .
(excuse my language )
thanks

1
12 5

I say to each is own...that being said, for me I don't feel comfortable with daycare. I made a conscience decision to become a parent to two children and it is my responsibility to take care of them. I get time to myself when they go to bed. My husband has to go out of town for work often so I don't always have the option of him taking over and getting a break. That is ok though. I love my children and want to spend as much time with them as I can. They are only young once!

1
108 11

Suzette-Most of us do make the conscience decision to become a parent. Taking your child to a preschool\daycare does not mean that you're not taking responsibility for your children...Infact, some people, including myself, believe that taking your child to a structured preschool is part of the responsibility of being a parent, because your children interacting with other children and doing structured activities plays a HUGE role in their lives. Most parents do not realize how much their child needed that socialization with other children until they bring their child into such an environment and see them at play. No parent should feel BAD for wanting to expand their child's minds and abilities (and, by the way, parents who take their children to a preschool love their children just as much as you love yours :). They should feel good knowing that their child is going to become more socialized and used to a structured and fun learning environment.

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940 15

I would say that whether the idea is a good one or not cannot receive a 'blanket' answer, but very much depends on the individual child, their relationship with their family and their developmental needs. For me and my daughter, it works fantastically well.

1
1 16

Beautifully put!

9 45

Yes, take time for yourself. An hour or two of rejuvenating is necessary when your a mom. Mom's need to take a break too... and self-care is so important. It won't hurt your kids to stay an extra hour or two- they're playing; making new friends and learning. Children need moms who are energized and happy, and if that means taking time to relax I'm a quiet house or run errands, go for it!

1
0 0

Sending child to a day care is tough question for parents. There are many reasons associated with this dilemma. As a day care owner, I understand those and will list few here.

1. Parents just don’t want to part their children.
2. They are worried if child will be attended for their small-small needs.
3. Will there be someone who will talk to their child?
4. How much should I pay for a day care?
5. Will child remain safe at day care?
6. Will putting their child in day care will question their parenthood?
7. Is day care good for child’s development?

My answer to all of the above concerns is; - it depends, on structure of ‘day care’, your personal ambitions, your understanding of child development and your philosophy of life.

For understanding structure of day care you may like to visit my daycare site at http://www.daycaremasti.com , to address your concerns about child development and philosophy you may consider visiting http://www.tillu.com

My stand here is sending your child in a ‘good day care’ is a good parenting decision, especially when you are working out for child’s secure future. You have enough time in weekends to enjoy extended time with your children apart from mornings and evenings on working days.

Saving for your retirement is your job, and one shouldn’t take an excuse from it in the name of raising children. It may sound reasonably selfish to many, but it is. Parents who earn and invest for their children will understand my point.

0
872 0

Sure, it makes sense for some moms. I feel that our kids have benefited hugely by not going to daycare, but it's a very individual choice.

0
10 0

So glad to have read this. My baby is 8 months and I went back to work full time when he was 3 months. My husband and I do not have days off together and no family close by. I've been battling post partum as well. I've been working hard to get "me" back including seeing a counselor, taking meds and vitamins, even changed jobs. Well, I just recently quit my job and wow. What a difference! Being home alone and getting my house in order and not having to stress over the mess when I should be focusing on my baby...it's been the best week. 2 days just me and baby, 2 days with dad and baby, and 3 days of daycare. If I decide to stay home permanently, we will cut daycare down to 2 days, but I want to keep babies life stable as I'm job hunting. But really, you should do whatever makes YOU happy. There is not one right way to care for a child and don't feel ashamed! Finally feel like a normal person again haha!!

0
1

Can family and children's services make you put your child in daycare

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0 0

New 2 site.. Wow I so needed to see & read about other moms with some of same issues.
I have an adult child 20 & my daughter now is 16 months what a difference of experience this time around has been. A lot harder I say. I live in area away from family & son & my husbands family here seem to have other priorities. So I have or shall I say We have no time for ourselfs or each other (except for late night action TMI..sorry). Anyway the stress of being a SAHM, family & no romance has made this Christian woman very very bitter & full of anger towards everyone even my blessing of a child.
Feeling the guilt of I shouldn't be selfish has overwhelmed me & reading blogs or whatever on how a SAHM should devote all their attention on their children really only has made me confused & depressed. This week I have finally broke down & will be taking my daughter to daycare for 2 days. I will make a determination best for me so I can be the best friend, wife & mom heck even stranger I can be! I only wanted to join on to Say THANK YOU ALL for your stories..God Bless

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24 0

When my husband stayed home with the kids he too needed to get things done, time to self, etc we put them in daycare twice-three times a week. It is ok. That is why they are there. I think daycare for our twins was bitter sweet. They learned so much from their peers but at the same time if sickness was going around they got it! UGH....AND it gave him a break to do whatever he needed! :)

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3 4

Definitely!! Having your child go to daycare even when you are not home is a great way for your child to have interaction with children their own age. That is going to become so important when they start elementry school, plus they will be used to mom leaving them for a few hours.

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24 20

I did to give my kids a social outlet.
When i had my first 19years ago most of my friends weren't having kids so i put my son into care so that he could socialise with children his own age.
all 5 of my children have been in day care for 1 day a week since they were about 6months of age.
i don't have family close by and it gave me a chance to do the shopping; doctors appt etc without my entourage constantly there with me.
all but one of my children are school age and i think if i didn't let Ella goto daycare she would probably try to go on her own, she calls it her job!!

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0 17

YES! I run a daycare in my home and I feel strongly that children need to be around other children (especially their own age). I took in a child who had never been in a daycare before and was almost 3 years old and I had a difficult time with this child at first. This child did not know how to interact with other children. This child had been only with the mother/father and not around other children. Plus.............mommy needs a break!!

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1 16

YES! To each there own. My child is extremely active and social. I was going to lose my mind keeping her at home with me, she now loves her day care and on her days with me she talks about it all day. She is only 2 but very high verbal and active and I couldn't give her everything she needed at home, even with all the classes,parks, play dates etc. I also am much happier to see her and our time together is soooo much better now that I had a break too.

Some children are as demanding as our spirited children, you do what you have to to be the best mother to your child.

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0 0

PERSONALLY I HAVE 5 KIDS OLDEST 13 YOUNGEST AT 2 TAKING TIME AWAY FOR MYSELF SO YES I HAVE CONSIDER DAYCARE JUST SO I HAVE THAT TIME FOR ME IT WOULD TAKE AWAY MY CONCERNS OF WHAT THEY ARE DOING VERSES A BABYSITTER JUST THAT WONDERING. BESIDES DAYCARE THEY ALSO EDUCATED AND PREPARE THEM FOR SCHOOL,INTERACTING WITH OTHER CHILDREN SO I BELIEVE IT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA FOR ANY MOTHER AND THE CHILD.

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4 0

I'd love one of the "drop your kid off for three hours" places if I could find one! Now that my son and I are home all the time, he very much misses playing with kids his own age. Sometimes I get lucky enough to arrange a playdate at the park, but DH works from the house, and he absolutely WILL NOT have extra children in the house on weekdays, and preferably not on weekends, either. (Also, I am not supposed to take my son to playdates at OTHER kid's houses, because then we would "owe" them a playdate, and that would mean children in OUR house, oh, the horror...).

I really wish we had family nearby, because sometimes, just sometimes, I want to go to the doctor or dentist by myself, rather than towing a small tornado with me... and go on an interview without worrying whether DH is ACTUALLY watching the kid (this is the ONLY time he will watch him... because I need to go on interviews, because the sooner I get a job again, the sooner DH will have his peaceful home office back). Also, our house badly needs work, and there are just some things that are more safely done without a 3-year-old helping me. It would be AMAZING to have someone to watch him for just an hour or two while I wire a circuit or replace a busted toilet.

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1 20

I think if you can, then do!
I have been a stay at home Mum for 4 years, then returned to work full time once the littlest was 9 months (kiddies are now 6, 5 and 3).
I was a registered childminder during this time too, and numerous comments by mums , playgroup workers and others, all mentioned how it was a lot easier to move to the big step of school, if they had previuosly spent time away from home, and in another setting. It helps prepare the youngsters to having to spend 6 hours without their parents.
My children were all very different, eldest screamed at leaving me at 2.1/2 for playgroup, the middle just got on with it, and the youngest loved Nursery, and a lovely comment when she started this school in september by the teachers emphasised how much you could tell she had obvioulsy been in a full time nursery compared to others.
It also helped, so i could devote more one on one time to my other children.
I think it is always best to choose how you think is best for your child and you. Only do what you feel comfortable with.
Time away from your children can be great and relaxing, but that whats i call after 7pm when they are in bed.
This is just my opinion only.
Also, when i have a day off work (very very rarely! - other than school holidays) - I still leave them in B4/Afschool Club, or holiday care, so i can catch up and have a day for me, we all need it.

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0 2

I totally agree that ALL moms need a break every once in a while and like a lot of other posters on here I too am a stay at home mom. My hubby works full time and tries to give me a break but thats not always possible. All my friends kids are older so there are not really into the little kid scene and I dont have family or friends that can take my 3 year old for a play date so I can get a break. With that said, any ideas on mommy co-ops? I have heard some good things about them and need more information on where to get started. Or any low/no cost daycare option for that matter? We are a single income family but I'm afraid we make just a little too much to qualify for no/low cost child care. Lets get a resources post going here what do ya say MAMAS?!?! I'm in Roseville if anyone has any info out here I would greatly appreciate it!!!
MOM IN MUCH NEED OF A BREAK,
Teresa

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0 7

Yeh I think its fine to, I have just had my daughter for three years she went nursery for a bi one morningt, and loved it, helps them make new friends, aswell as give you a break but also get things done maybe out or around the house. I don't work at the moment, my daughter goes p-school 41/2 mornings, she loves it plus its free and one full day, dont think any harm in it atall.

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182 0

I would go with a preschool, instead of day care. They are set up for a few hours a day a few days a week, and tend to have other children in the same situation as you. Therefore less judging.

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75 12

Daycare saved my sanity! And my daughter learns so much while she's there. She's 2 1/2 and already has a best friend. There are some things, I have to admit, that she gets at day care that I just can't provide, like lots of other kids to play with, lunch and nap time at the same time everyday and a great play ground (we don't have a back yard or a park in walking distance). She learned to use a fork there, she learned to count to 11, colors and they do arts and crafts every day. I love it!

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0 20

All of the things you and many of the others have mentioned are fun things you can teach your child at home. It's all about a little organization in your day and some fun play/learning with your child while bonding with her at the same time.

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144 46

AS a mother of 5, I have a pretty mixed view LOL
My first 3 boys all loved daycare and I had no problems justifing the cost as it ws great for both me and I. I could do the "jobs" they hated...mainly groceries - but it meant if I wanted to stop for a coffee or try on some clothes etc I could. At the end of the day they were excited to see me and had obviously had a great day - and they where doing things I couldnt always do with then - for example they incubated chicken eggs until they hatched in their "classroom" and cared for the chicks for a week and although we have pets and have had puppies etc is was a great expereince I coudnt/wouldnt have done at home
My 4th son however HATES it and would cry even as we drove past (which when you live on the same street and have to do past to get other kids to school can be a big problem) so I have taken him out...It probably says more about the centre rather than the ideal behind it BUT just ensure its the right "fit" for you and your child!!

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0 0

Yes, I would and I have. Not just for myself but for my children. It's a wrench letting go but seeing them confident, standing on their own two feet, having their own ideas, being independent made it all worth it. If I have to do it again and money is tight, I would give up a lot just so my children can go.

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3 25

I think it is important for your child to learn to socialise with other children and daycare helps this.

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9 14

My fiance and I work different schedules that way we dont need a full time baby sitter. However I do have my daughter enrolled in a Mom's morning out program. She goes to school two days a week from 8:30a-12p for $20 a day. It is really reasonable. Even though I am home at this time I use these days to go to the gym in the morning, schedule appointments, and sometimes get food shopping in. It was beneificial to us sending her to school the week my father passed way. my mother scheduled his services on a day my daugher was at school. I didnt have to be inconvienced in trying to find someone else to watch her during that time. Her school also offers a "lunch bunch" from 12p-3p where the children can also stay. I think it is great socialization for my daughter. Her speech is improved tremendously!! She gets excited to go to school, she even asks to go everyday. So I think that it is a great idea not just for parents but for your child especially if they are a only child.

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1 49

My husband is deployed and I do SAH and work from home, and we are thinking about putting my 3.5 year old son in pre-school couple times a week. Not a bad idea if you can afford it.

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