Should I work outside the home or be a stay at home mom?
Deciding whether to be a stay at home mom or working mom can be a very difficult decision to make. What would you recommend moms consider while trying to make this decision.
If you can, I would suggest staying home. They grow up quickly. It's not always easy, however, it's a great way to be able to control the environment for your kids. You know how much TV and videos they are watching and what they are watching. You will be able to share with them the moments you would miss if you had to work. Some people think they have to work, however, if they sat down and calculated out the time it took to get to work / gas / babysitters / clothes for work / eating out, etc. then they are really not that far ahead. If your kids are sick you don't have to be concerned about not going to work and you can take care of your kids. Another positive is that you don't have to please another boss. Sometimes you may have to do without things, however, you'll never miss out on the opportunities you've been able to spend with your children. You may say stay at home mom, however, stay at home moms don't always stay home. We have play dates, pre-school, library time, swimming lessons, pool time, free movies, going to the park, Children Museum, etc. Good Luck on your decision.
I was a single mother and did not have the option of staying at home. I did, however, manage to cobble together a schedule that allowed me to be around when my daughters needed me: A part-time bookkeeping job that ended the same time as their school day and an evening hostess job that started later enough for me to spend dinnertime with them. As they got older, I was able to take on a more full-time job and they had the benefit of my higher earning power when they were in high school and college. I now represent Cultural Care Au Pair and I wish I had known about it when my girls were growing up! My working parents have the flexibility of scheduling the 45 hours of childcare each week when they need it most. The extensive qualification process assures a skill and background level that is right for each familiy's needs. So, "working mom" does not need to mean your children will miss out on something. In fact, it can mean an added dimension of cultural exchange for them while you are able to enrich your own life with an outside job. Good luck!
It was a very very difficult decision for me. I agree with everyone in terms of determining if you are able to afford it. Also, I would like you to consider yourself, your professional goals and ultimately your family and YOUR happiness. I have spent many years in school so I felt that I "needed" to work, to provide an example to my little girl, and provide for my family. Ultimately I think this is a very personal decision and you really need to determine what is best for your family....and you too. Don't forget about you.
However while working full-time, I was ridden with guilt every single day. Although I would not consider being a full-time stay at home because I have invested so much in my career which is part of who I am and didn't think I would be ultimately happy in the long run if I gave up my career....but I very much wanted to be involved with my daughter and did not want to miss out. In the end, I cut down on my hours and work part-time and my new position is very flexible. This has worked very well with my family. During the days I work, my daughter is with my mother and in-laws which has worked out extremely well because they are able to develop bonds and also be a part of my daughter's everyday life. I am intellectually challenged at work, am able to contribute to my profession and have grown-up interactions at work....but I am also able to volunteer at school, attend all ballet classes, go on field trips, and be home on sick days. I feel more balanced this way. So I really have found the the happy medium....but only some time agonizing and reassessing my priorities, goals in life and in career.
Lots of factors play into whether its feasible for you to stay home. :
1) can you afford it? sit down with your spouse and look at your total current take home pay. Add up your fixed bills ( mortgage, hydro heat, insurances, etc.) add up a years worth of gas, grocery, entertainment, and all other flexible bills) can you maintain those bills with one income?
2) if you didn't work how much money would you save? ( your transportation, work related clothes, lunches at work, childcare costs, etc...)
3) if you can't afford it are you able to cut some hours to be home more with them?
4) can you work from home?
5) are you interested in doing home daycare,, either full time or before and after school?
6) how old are your children? are they school age and can you work during school hours? or are they babies and can you take a leave of absense from your work until they start Kindergarten?
I made the decision over the course of a yr. I am a single parent to one child and 2 long term foster children. I also run a business from my home so I was only working part time at my career of 20 yrs. I spent a whole yr ( 26 pays) banking those pay cheques into a separate account only using that money for daycare due to working. At the end of the yr If I hadn't needed to dip into that money to pay bills then I knew I really could retire. At the end of that yr I am happy to say I could divide that money into 3 RESP accounts for my kids and I retired. Money is a little tight, but my bills are paid, I get to volunteer at their school, and work from home while they are in school. I'm less tires, less stressed and therefore a better mom. My youngest is now in full day grade one. But it was great being at home for him the past 2 yrs. For a bit of extra money I do before and after daycare. I figure I"m walking my three to school everyday why not help my working neighbour out too. Our kids get along and all is good.
Hope that helps. Its not a decision to take lightly and there is no correct answer. Its whatever works best for your particular circimstance. Good luck.
If your family can afford you staying at home, stay. I decided to stay home with mine for a while. It would have hurt my heart to have my children call someone else "Mommy" or take their 1st step to someone else and have them tell me about it. And with me staying home with them, I think that is one reason why my kids, especially my 16 1/2 year old son, feels he can talk to me about anything and I feel that because we made a bond early on and spent quality time togerther, that he feels that he can trust me. I feel that it is VERY important to not only spend time with your children spend QUALITY time with them. Even if you are a working parent, the time just doesn't have to be time, but quality time. With my son, I stayed home until he was 15 months old. I went to work because he would cry and cry when it came time to leave if I had a friend over that had children. He craved being with other children. Our play mornings were not enough for him. I got a job at the daycare center on base. He turned into a little social butterfly (if you can call a boy a butterfly LOL). With my daughter, who is 9 years younger than my son, I stayed home until she started pre-k. I loved our time together and so did she. Now that they are both in school full time, I am a substitute teacher for the district which allows me to work while they are in school. God Bless you in your decision!
If you can afford to, stay at home. Children need their parents to be involved in their lives. The children who get the love and attention from home don't get mixed up in things like drugs. They have more confidence in themselves, and are more successful in life. There are many opportunities to work from home if it is not affordable to not have an income. I am doing a few myself. If you would like info on them, message me :)
They are only young for a blink in time.
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I think you should consider how flexible your workplace is. I get to stay home 6 days a week with my children(2.5 yrs and 7 year old). I only work for one day a week, and get to drop my son off every day to school. My husband works Mon-Fri and a half day on a Wed(and this is when I go to work.) It works on two levels, 1. it allows me to get out of the house and talk to the 'grown ups' on a weekly basis, and 2. it makes my husband have to go and get the boy from school, and help him with homework, and "be the dad" without any pressure(perceived or real) of me being there. Working just this one day gives me, and the kids, a break from each other, and makes my husband appreciate what it takes to look after the kids a little bit more. And the satisfaction I get when I get home from work, with the kids yelling out MUM IS home!!! makes me fell more appreciated than any money can do. ( I did stay at home for 12 months with each of them before returning to any kind of work).If you can find a great balance between work and home, go for it!!!
I would stay home. Your kids need a parent at home. You need to know what Is going on in there lives. My daughter is 15 now and we still sit down after school and she tells me ALL about her day and what is going on. It is time that you will never get back.
If you decide to stay at home, really stay home. There are a lot of party plans that say you can stay with kids but you will be leaving them to do parties at night or weekends. Thats not staying at home. I have been in them party plans and know what I'm talking about, not that they aren't good companys, because most are. But when I found the company I'm with I knew I could really stay home! I don't do parties, no selling, no inventory, no mlm, and most important, my home is safer and toxic free because of it. And I make money. Would love to show you. (kelly.advancingwithus.com)
What ever you decide make sure it is the best choice for you and your family. That's what matters. I will keep you in my prayers. I know it isn't an easy decision
if you will make more after you pay for your added expenses like gas food and childcare, if you would be ok spending 8 or more hours a day away from your child, if you want to encourage your daughter to work for herself then working might be for you. Think about finances, personal beliefs, spousal opinion, quality of child care available and what type of message your sending your child.
For me I decided to work because we can't make it on just my husbands pay, my daughter would be the care of her grandmother while I'm gone, my husband encouraged me to do what made me happy, but most importantly I wanted to send my daughter the message that just because she's female she shouldn't just expect that her spouse would take care of her. I do think that being a stay at home mom is good for the kids though because you have more control of what they are exposed to. Really it doesn't just have to be the mom staying home if mom makes more money then maybe daddy can stay home.
I think there are the two biggest factors: How much money do you need to live on and how can you balance whatever work you choose (at home or outside the home) and your home life if you do work.
My husband stays home because I have a higher earnings potential than he does. We still barely squeak by on my paycheck, so we additionally do a network marketing business on the side. That job actually brings our family together more, so it's a win-win. I'd like to eventually stop working outside the home, but for now, financially, it's not an option.
My kids have had stay at home parenting AND daycare, and in neither case were they in danger of a horrible childhood. You have to work out the financials and work your parenting around paying the bills. You can be a great parent whether or not your work outside the home.
If you can do it financially then I say do it.
I had to work full time with my oldest. I feel like I missed out on a lot with him. I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with my two youngest. I do go insane some days but I would choose sahm even with the craziness.
I am a stay at home mum and I work from home.
It defiantly has its challenges but I'm loving running my own business.
My Job includes personal development education and helping others to accomplish their goals with starting their own home business the same way I have. The commissions are amazing and I can still be there for my daughter when ever she needs me, I feel like I have found the perfect balance for our family. I can work around my life not live around my work. Cheers to that.
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I guess , this would be your personal decision. But , if you need suggestion i would like to suggest you to be WAHM , as working at home is the best way of creating money while fulfilling all your family responsibilities . You can put eye on your kids activity , and see them growing , provide them proper nourishment , play with them , drop them to school , you will be your child's best friend . There are many online jobs and work at home jobs which you can do according to your ease. You will be confident , self reliance , independent and mom entrepreneur, and at the same time you will be role model for your kids.
You dont have to choose! You can be both. I am a stay at home mom and providing income for my family. i joined a company called melaleuca. =D
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Being a WAHM , I would suggest you to stay back at home , as looking after your kids and giving them proper nourishment is your prime responsibility , you can take care of your family and kids 24 x 7 , which would not be possible , if you go to office . There are plenty of job options which you can do while sitting back at home like - content writing , web development , data entry , transcription jobs . So earning is not a big deal you can do it from home too , but proper parenting is more necessary than anything else , as your kids and hubby are your real assets , so make them feel special .
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Being a stay at home mother works great, after they can go to school get a part time job as i did. I would work 830-230 as school was 8-3. and i was able to be home with my kids got there also. That gave a little extra money to the budget, be mindful that no amount of money is worth the lost moments with your children. My husband and i made that decision before having kids.
Having been in both situations, I personally would prefer to be at home. Family is important to me, and I miss being there to share everything. However, our financial situation necessitates my having a job.
On the other hand, I do like the opportunity to use the education I received in college.
I do all I can to be involved in my child's education. I have chaperoned a few shorter field trips; those are precious times, difficult to come by, but worth it. I spend time watching her team practice--for me, that is how I show support & appreciation of her talents & interests. I've had to relax my standards for housekeeping a little, which is difficult for an obsessive perfectionist, but I want my daughter to know she comes first. It cuts out most of my "personal time", but she'll be grown up someday & then I'll have a whole lot of personal time. It can wait.
It all comes down to necessity & personal preference. If it is financially imperative in order to house, feed, & clothe the family, it makes sense to get a job. If it is not, consider the variables: age, individual needs, & number of children, your own ability to handle multiple major demands (some people just can't handle stress well & you don't want to take it out on your family NOR your coworkers), etc. If it looks like it will work out, & you want to, why not try it out? If it doesn't work out, return home. If it doesn't look like it may work, it's up to you whether to give a job a try anyway or to give staying at home a whirl.
But DON'T fall into the trap of basing your identity & sense of worth on whichever choice you make. That invariably leads to an identity crisis if circumstances change. I've seen friends emotionally beat themselves up for "failing" to keep up either the one or the other situation. You just can't predict such things.
You know what you should do when faced with this question? You should first look at your finances. Can you afford to stay home? Can you give up certain luxuries (eating out, shopping trips, new car, new house, luxury vacations, etc) so that you can stay home? Can you afford the daycare for your child(ren)?
Before having our first child, hubby and I sat down and talked about everything. We piled our bills together, figured out how much we needed to make as a base line, what extras we wanted to keep, how much daycare in our area would be (OMG it was outrageous!), and if I even wanted to stay home (which I've wanted to do all along). What we decided to do was move out of our expensive (and really nice) apartment into a smaller apartment that was more affordable on just one income, gave up going out and doing certain extras we liked to do (movie theater monthly, going to bars/concerts, shopping trips, etc), and learned to buy just what we needed, not what we wanted. We've had to make due, but it works for both of us. Had I kept working, my paycheck would have just barely paid for daycare, leaving us with no extra money, had we kept our former lifestyle.
I love being able to teach my son things. He's learned that he can go pee on the potty (he's 2 and has been doing this for over 6 months!), he loves counting 1-20, plays with his alphabet, recognizes the whole alphabet and is even starting to recognize some small words, loves coloring and even tries to stay in the lines, tells people hello, goodbye, please, thank you, you're welcome, thank you for your manners, and love you too. I've gotten to see his every milestone.
But, staying home isn't for everyone. If you try one option and it doesn't feel right, don't feel bad at all if you need to try the other side. Neither option works for everyone. And don't let anyone make you feel like a lesser parent for your choice. Who are they to judge? They probably resent a choice they made in parenting.
I am raising 10 kids right now, so you can imagine the urgency of my being at home instead of in the workforce, but I still need to make an income, so reluctantly, I signed up to become a Tupperware Consultant. Very skeptical at first, but I am so glad I did now! I get to make money by throwing parties! An average party brings in about $100! I get to work when I want and have fun doing it; plus it gives me that Adult time with my friends! If you enjoy having social get-togethers, shopping, and know how to network, then Tupperware is just perfect for the stay at home mom!
I am a single mom too. I would rather work at home but i have been forced to work in retail. I tried to find work from home jobs and came across Avon. I like them but i am not able to do this full time just yet.. My whole reason for starting it was to be able to be home for my kids. I have been doing it part time and getting a little business.
I am still looking for something i can do from home and not have to worry about it being a scam. I would definitely research before you try anything.
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If you start work in a traditional business you will be trading a unit of time for a unit of money. It is my belief, you and every other working mom is a much more valuable asset to themselves, and others by having the luxury of time to personally raise their children.
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It really depends on a mom's unique situation. #1 is can you afford to stay home? (Will just your husband or boyfriend's income support the family, WITHOUT the help of welfare?) If just 1 income will support your family, & you don't want to work (would rather stay at home) then I would say staying at home is the best choice for you. Try it for awhile & if it doesn't work, get back into the work force. However, if only 1 income won't support your family, or if you would just rather work, then I would say to get a job. What it mainly comes down to is what is best for YOU. Your children will be fine either way. :)
I have 3 boys, and I stay home with them. My husband works as a full time technician for the Air Force so he makes enough where I do n't need to get a job. I am very lucky we are in the financial position for this but I have been working since I was 14 so it's a little weird not having a job outside of my home. And to be honest, sometimes I kind of miss it. I sometimes feel a little crazy being home all the time, but my husband is good about watching the kids every now and then so I can go out alone and have some time to myself. I also feel like I don't contribute anything financially to our family which I don't like but at the same time I don't want to get a job because I don't want to miss any major milestones of their childhood. Like first steps, first words, that kind of thing. I'm thinking once my youngest starts school I'll go back to work at least part time. But that's not for another 5 years.
There is no right or wrong answer. You need to discuss it with you husband/significant other. Look at whether working would benefit you and your family, would the income you bring in be more or less than the cost of day care, how do you feel about working and your job - what are you passionate about? If you are staying at home, what are your reasons and have you made inner piece with this. If you are going back to work what are your reasons and have you made inner piece with this. Remember nothing is cast in stone, you can always change your mind again if you don't like your decision. Children benefit most from loving and communicative parents and a caring environment.
It is always a tough decision, especially if you have a career that you have worked for. But it would depend on your personal circumstances. Financial and otherwise. You can be home with your kids more if you don't work which is true, but you may be able to give your child opportunities that will not be available financially if you quit your job.
It is such a tough choice. If financially you can afford it I fully support it. When my husband and I decided to have children we realized we didn't want other people raising our kids during their most crucial ages. I have struggled horribly with not making an income and having my life role changed so drastically. At the end of the day though I realize that what I am doing right now is so much more important than being at the office making money that doesn't mean anything. Realize you choice impacts a person(s) for life. The importance of the bond you create with your kiddos and the ability to impart your morals on a day to day basis is to me what having and staying home with my babies is all about. Good luck with this tough one!
There are many things to take into consideration besides money. In Canada, mothers are paid to stay home until their children are 1 year old. I think usually they get 60 percent of their salary up to a maximum amount for that year. Women here also have to think about how staying at home affects their Canada Pension Plan. A stay at home mom would get less when she retires because she would be paying less into the plan over the years. If a mother can work a compromise with her employer where she can work part time & have that extra time with her child then she can have her cake & eat it too so to speak. Everything depends on the mother & the child. Some stay at home moms don't feel intellectually challenged unless they have an opportunity to talk to other adults during the day but there are usually solutions to that problem as well. Whether or not good child care facilities are available is also very important.
There are great programs that help moms re-enter the workplace from home. Project MAHMA is one of them. This is actually great timing for your question because the company's CEO will be flying out to explain thisopportunity to moms desiring to stay at home on October 1st. If any of you moms live in/or near Orange County, Ca and want me to send you the invitation from corporate let me know your e- address. You can e mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org This you tube video tells more about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuUBPD_JgX8&feature=player_embedded
I am a SAHM of twins. I love staying at home but we definitely struggle financially. But with twins, there was no way I could make enough money to justify working. Travel expenses, daycare and even brown bag lunches always exceeded my take home pay. I'm hoping to do some work from home but with the girls being under 2, they take up too much time for me to dedicate to anything but their care. It does have its rewards though and if it's an option, I'd always choose to stay home. At least for the first 5 years.
I chose to stay home. I wouldn't give up those years for anything... however - be fore-warned when you do want to re-enter the work world - it is much harder. Jobs aren't as plentiful as they used to be. It's a trade-off. Staying home is the best for your kids. Keeping a foot in the door - working a few days a week, or working from home... may be best for you.
This is a very personal decision. For yourself, your child and your partner. All of Carol StClair's questions are practical and very important questions. I would even take it a step further and ask yourself how you would feel emotionally.
Personally I've worked full-time and have been a SAHM at different points in my life.
In my 20's, I worked full-time from the time my oldest children were 12 weeks old. The only times I felt bad was when my oldest was about a year old and wanted to stay at her sitter's (her aunt) house and did not want to come home with me. After a few days that went away and she was back to normal. There was also that time when my middle child first started preschool and she cried and ran after me which only lasted a couple of days, as well. During this time, I attended a support group for working parents and it really helped to see that I wasn't alone and that the girls would get over it and be happy.
Now my oldest daughters are 15 and 12. They are well-rounded and very smart young ladies. Sporting events and recitals I never missed because I would take a day off from work or they would be held in the evenings/weekends. I was always sure to go on at least one vacation with them and on various events during the weekends. They learned to be social with other children when they entered preschool and I was delighted in my career and receiving the adult interaction I needed.
I've been a SAHM for the last 4 yrs and now I have a 3 year old. I've joined mom's groups so that she may be able play and learn social skills with other children. However, since not all the children go to all events all the time she hasn't been able to bond with any one child, yet. To increase my adult interaction, I organize a woman's social group, but I can only get together with them 2x/month. I'm also a ZUMBA instructor and teach about 4 hrs/week. With all of this, I still miss the daily adult interaction and challenges that come with working OUTSIDE of the home. I continue to be a SAHM because my husband feels strongly about the little one being raised by me. When she starts school, maybe I'll go back to work in the hustle and bustle of Corporate America, maybe I'll just increase my hrs as a ZUMBA instructor.
All I know is that we can't sacrifice ourselves for the children. If we're not happy they won't be happy either. So really think things through and do what's right for your entire family!!
If you have a choice, stay home. It is worth it.
I decided to stay at home when my last child was born, I have two, one in college now and my youngest is 9. I hated to work when my oldest was growing up. I sometimes had to leave her in the mornings waiting for the bus with a neighbor just so i could get to work on time. It was tough at times having to struggle to find a sitter after school and I couldn't stand not being there for her when she got off the bus. Thank God I was able to quit my job with my youngest. It was rough so when she was 3 years old we really needed the extra income so I decided to look for work and stumbled upon Tastefully Simple. I'm telling you this because of the blessings it has provided our family. I always knew that in direct sales you could pretty much make up your own schedule and still be able to stay home with your children if needed. I decided to give Tastefully Simple a try and have been a consultant for 6 years now and it has provided our family that extra income we needed without me having to go back in the corporate world or work at a department store making practically nothing and not to mention working every weekend. I've been able to stay home working only about 2 to 3 days a week doing parties in the evening for a couple hours. It's so much of a blessing to be able to leave my children home with their father than a sitter or daycare. It gives them time to bond with dad. If you are considering going back to work please consider the direct sales industry. Google the company you are considering and research them and their history. As a consultant with Tastefully Simple I sell food at home parties, corporate gifts to businesses, through fundraisers and directly through my website. It's food, practical, everyone eats! We don't carry inventory so our profit isn't constantly going back in to restock our inventory. The hosts at the parties make the food so all we do is show up and share how to use it. It really is simple! All I have to say is Thank the LORD for this business, our leaders in the company at headquarters and the income it has provided our family. I love being home during the day and seeing the sheer joy on the face of my daughter as she gets off the bus knowing her mom is waiting for her. An added perk right now is we are offering 50% off to get started. If you or anyone you know is thinking of going back to work please consider this. You are welcome to contact me via my website or email. www.tastefullysimple.com/web/ksheppard or email@example.com Good luck with your decision.
Hi there. I have 3 children and had been fighting with the idea of going back to work. Not being in the home for them, daycare, etc. In March this year I stumbled on Premier Designs Jewelry. I NEVER thought I could sell anything. I'm not a sales person, kinda shy, etc. But... I signed up basically because my friend talked me into it. But now... 5 months later, not only have I made extra money, I get out of the house, have made great friends and make fantastic money! I can work when I want to, on my schedule. I can still be home with my kids when I need to. It's perfect. Really.
I am trying to share this opportunity with anyone I can think of because it's so amazing. The company is REAL and they take care of their Jewelers and Hostesses. Premier's direct sales structure is better than Scentsy, Lia Sophia, Silpada and all of the others! The owners built the business for stay at home and single Moms so they could provide financially. Now, 25 years later, in this economy, any lady who needs extra income can benefit from Premier!
So, if you could use an extra $800 a month, or MORE, please contact me. I'll send you some information, call you, whatever you're comfortable with. I promise it's worth hearing about. What other job could you work whenever you want while eating brownies and playing in jewelry? Really!
Truly... please take a minute to look at their website, google it, send me any questions. The hardest part is believing it really is THIS GOOD. I promise you it is.