Should I work outside the home or be a stay at home mom?

Deciding whether to be a stay at home mom or working mom can be a very difficult decision to make. What would you recommend moms consider while trying to make this decision.

40  Answers

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If you can, I would suggest staying home. They grow up quickly. It's not always easy, however, it's a great way to be able to control the environment for your kids. You know how much TV and videos they are watching and what they are watching. You will be able to share with them the moments you would miss if you had to work. Some people think they have to work, however, if they sat down and calculated out the time it took to get to work / gas / babysitters / clothes for work / eating out, etc. then they are really not that far ahead. If your kids are sick you don't have to be concerned about not going to work and you can take care of your kids. Another positive is that you don't have to please another boss. Sometimes you may have to do without things, however, you'll never miss out on the opportunities you've been able to spend with your children. You may say stay at home mom, however, stay at home moms don't always stay home. We have play dates, pre-school, library time, swimming lessons, pool time, free movies, going to the park, Children Museum, etc. Good Luck on your decision.

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I love your reply, I voted but it looks like a negative one. I couldn't figure how to change it. Sorry. Karista

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I was a single mother and did not have the option of staying at home. I did, however, manage to cobble together a schedule that allowed me to be around when my daughters needed me: A part-time bookkeeping job that ended the same time as their school day and an evening hostess job that started later enough for me to spend dinnertime with them. As they got older, I was able to take on a more full-time job and they had the benefit of my higher earning power when they were in high school and college. I now represent Cultural Care Au Pair and I wish I had known about it when my girls were growing up! My working parents have the flexibility of scheduling the 45 hours of childcare each week when they need it most. The extensive qualification process assures a skill and background level that is right for each familiy's needs. So, "working mom" does not need to mean your children will miss out on something. In fact, it can mean an added dimension of cultural exchange for them while you are able to enrich your own life with an outside job. Good luck!

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It was a very very difficult decision for me. I agree with everyone in terms of determining if you are able to afford it. Also, I would like you to consider yourself, your professional goals and ultimately your family and YOUR happiness. I have spent many years in school so I felt that I "needed" to work, to provide an example to my little girl, and provide for my family. Ultimately I think this is a very personal decision and you really need to determine what is best for your family....and you too. Don't forget about you.

However while working full-time, I was ridden with guilt every single day. Although I would not consider being a full-time stay at home because I have invested so much in my career which is part of who I am and didn't think I would be ultimately happy in the long run if I gave up my career....but I very much wanted to be involved with my daughter and did not want to miss out. In the end, I cut down on my hours and work part-time and my new position is very flexible. This has worked very well with my family. During the days I work, my daughter is with my mother and in-laws which has worked out extremely well because they are able to develop bonds and also be a part of my daughter's everyday life. I am intellectually challenged at work, am able to contribute to my profession and have grown-up interactions at work....but I am also able to volunteer at school, attend all ballet classes, go on field trips, and be home on sick days. I feel more balanced this way. So I really have found the the happy medium....but only some time agonizing and reassessing my priorities, goals in life and in career.

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If anyonr knows of a legit...descent paying work from home job please message mr

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Lots of factors play into whether its feasible for you to stay home. :
1) can you afford it? sit down with your spouse and look at your total current take home pay. Add up your fixed bills ( mortgage, hydro heat, insurances, etc.) add up a years worth of gas, grocery, entertainment, and all other flexible bills) can you maintain those bills with one income?
2) if you didn't work how much money would you save? ( your transportation, work related clothes, lunches at work, childcare costs, etc...)
3) if you can't afford it are you able to cut some hours to be home more with them?
4) can you work from home?
5) are you interested in doing home daycare,, either full time or before and after school?
6) how old are your children? are they school age and can you work during school hours? or are they babies and can you take a leave of absense from your work until they start Kindergarten?

I made the decision over the course of a yr. I am a single parent to one child and 2 long term foster children. I also run a business from my home so I was only working part time at my career of 20 yrs. I spent a whole yr ( 26 pays) banking those pay cheques into a separate account only using that money for daycare due to working. At the end of the yr If I hadn't needed to dip into that money to pay bills then I knew I really could retire. At the end of that yr I am happy to say I could divide that money into 3 RESP accounts for my kids and I retired. Money is a little tight, but my bills are paid, I get to volunteer at their school, and work from home while they are in school. I'm less tires, less stressed and therefore a better mom. My youngest is now in full day grade one. But it was great being at home for him the past 2 yrs. For a bit of extra money I do before and after daycare. I figure I"m walking my three to school everyday why not help my working neighbour out too. Our kids get along and all is good.

Hope that helps. Its not a decision to take lightly and there is no correct answer. Its whatever works best for your particular circimstance. Good luck.

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If your family can afford you staying at home, stay. I decided to stay home with mine for a while. It would have hurt my heart to have my children call someone else "Mommy" or take their 1st step to someone else and have them tell me about it. And with me staying home with them, I think that is one reason why my kids, especially my 16 1/2 year old son, feels he can talk to me about anything and I feel that because we made a bond early on and spent quality time togerther, that he feels that he can trust me. I feel that it is VERY important to not only spend time with your children spend QUALITY time with them. Even if you are a working parent, the time just doesn't have to be time, but quality time. With my son, I stayed home until he was 15 months old. I went to work because he would cry and cry when it came time to leave if I had a friend over that had children. He craved being with other children. Our play mornings were not enough for him. I got a job at the daycare center on base. He turned into a little social butterfly (if you can call a boy a butterfly LOL). With my daughter, who is 9 years younger than my son, I stayed home until she started pre-k. I loved our time together and so did she. Now that they are both in school full time, I am a substitute teacher for the district which allows me to work while they are in school. God Bless you in your decision!

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You are so right about the "quality time". Whether a parent is working or not quality time is always possible.

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If you can afford to, stay at home. Children need their parents to be involved in their lives. The children who get the love and attention from home don't get mixed up in things like drugs. They have more confidence in themselves, and are more successful in life. There are many opportunities to work from home if it is not affordable to not have an income. I am doing a few myself. If you would like info on them, message me :)
They are only young for a blink in time.

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Please msg me with any info ant wrkng from home

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I think you should consider how flexible your workplace is. I get to stay home 6 days a week with my children(2.5 yrs and 7 year old). I only work for one day a week, and get to drop my son off every day to school. My husband works Mon-Fri and a half day on a Wed(and this is when I go to work.) It works on two levels, 1. it allows me to get out of the house and talk to the 'grown ups' on a weekly basis, and 2. it makes my husband have to go and get the boy from school, and help him with homework, and "be the dad" without any pressure(perceived or real) of me being there. Working just this one day gives me, and the kids, a break from each other, and makes my husband appreciate what it takes to look after the kids a little bit more. And the satisfaction I get when I get home from work, with the kids yelling out MUM IS home!!! makes me fell more appreciated than any money can do. ( I did stay at home for 12 months with each of them before returning to any kind of work).If you can find a great balance between work and home, go for it!!!

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I would stay home. Your kids need a parent at home. You need to know what Is going on in there lives. My daughter is 15 now and we still sit down after school and she tells me ALL about her day and what is going on. It is time that you will never get back.
If you decide to stay at home, really stay home. There are a lot of party plans that say you can stay with kids but you will be leaving them to do parties at night or weekends. Thats not staying at home. I have been in them party plans and know what I'm talking about, not that they aren't good companys, because most are. But when I found the company I'm with I knew I could really stay home! I don't do parties, no selling, no inventory, no mlm, and most important, my home is safer and toxic free because of it. And I make money. Would love to show you. (kelly.advancingwithus.com)
What ever you decide make sure it is the best choice for you and your family. That's what matters. I will keep you in my prayers. I know it isn't an easy decision

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I think it depends on your financial situation as well as your family situation. If your husband earns enough to support the family then you can stay home and take care of the children but if you have to work to support the family then you would have to look for a good baby sitter to look after your baby or you can take a break of some time until your baby starts going to school and then resume your career. Things can be managed in either case if you are determined enough on your decision.

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