Should you pay grandparents when they babysit?

Grandparents are sometimes the most frequent babysitter a child has. Should you pay your parents or parents-in-law when they watch over your kids? Is it different when it's a frequent occurrence versus a one time situation?

40  Answers

0 20

I've been watching my 1 year old grandson 3 days a week at my daughter and son in law's house since he was 4 weeks old. This is something that I wanted to do since I don't work and I was unable to do with our other 5 grandchildren since I DID work. They do pay me to watch him while they work but I don't expect or want them to pay me if I babysit when they go out. The extra money really helps us out, of course, and they would have to pay someone else to watch him while they work. I think this arrangement works out great for them since they don't have to take him anywhere and they know he's getting a LOT of love since his being watched by his Nana, and I can truly say I LOVE my job!!!

93
1 3

I agree whole heartedly with your arrangement...I would love to be the Grammy that is close enough to babysit 6 month old grandson. Fortunately his has his other set of Grandparents and Great-Grandma to shower him with all the love he needs while Mommy and Daddy work. I do though get to be the Grammy that gets to take him overnight occasionally and spoil him and send him home...HA!!! lol

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0 0

Let's face it.....if you pay the grandparents to watch the children, most of them will probably save the money and spend it on the grandchildren and you!

68
0 5

yupper!!

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0 0

If it is on a regular basis instead of daycare while the parents are at work, YES.
Been there done that and it worked out just fine. If it a once in awhile occurance, just enjoy having the grandkids over!

64
18 0

Very true that the Grandparents need to not be taken advantage of. Limits need to be set so that it continues to be a happy relationship. Hopefully the parents will be considerate and realize immediately the need to be thoughtful.

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1 10

Ofcourse u would pay if it was a regular arrangement, they are saving you a load of money & they have already raised their family, whilst they love doing it, parents don't have children later in life for a reason. They have passed that stage in life, and I'm sure they would do anything for us, but appreciate what they are doing and pay them for there help...

54
0 5

I love my grandchildren so very much!!! I love keeping them, but if you consider the cost of daycare and transportation a little something is better than nothing, Daycare for a toddler is about $1000. a month. Don't you think you should pay them something?

0 15

Yes you should pay grandparents if they are caring for your children while you are working... i.e. if you would normally pay a licensed childcare provider or summer camp, winter camp, spring camp, etc. If it is an occassional outing, dinner with hubby etc, it would be better to spring for dinner for the grandparents as opposed to financial compensation. Most will enjoy dinner on you and spending time with the grandkids a treat.

38
0 10

I babysat my grandson while his mom went to school, even though she wasn't married to my son and they weren't together and I quit my job to do it, I still never wanted and wouldn't ask to be paid, I just felt it was wrong.

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0 0

My first response was "Of course not!!" But then in re-thinking this, I would have to say the answer could be yes if it was on a continual basis because of a job. However, if the parent is a SINGLE parent who is not earning much, then the answer would be no. But all in all, I think it is an individual decision and cannot be answered with just one or two answers.

33
1 3

I have to disagree with you as far as a single parent not having to pay while working. Regardless how much that parent is paid in wages they still need to be held accountable and be responsible regardless if it a grandparent or not watching the child. Some type of compensation whether it be food and drinks for your child while there at grandparents or perhaps a gift certificate to a restaurant or a favorite place to shop every now and then to show appreciation. The grandparents were not the ones who made the decision to have the child the parent/s did.

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1 1

In some cultures, like mine, the grandparents help raise the grandkids without payment because it's the way the family relations are. My grandparents raised me while my parents worked full time. Now my mom is returning the favor. I did not pay my mom when she watched my daughter full time because we were barely able to pay bills and she watched her as a favor to me so I could save money, just as her mom did for her. But I did buy her gift certificates for her massage place so she could have some relaxing time on me. Now my daughter is in preschool and my parents watch her a few times a month on the weekends or after school and they don't get paid because they actually ask to have that time with their granddaughter because they miss her and they know I need a break. It's just family helping family.

30
0 0

My family works very much the same way. My grandma watched us growing up, and now my mother watches my children part-time. I do have a nanny come over for the busy part of the day, so that my parents aren't so worn out, and the kids can go on fun outings. I think each family is different, and it is nice when parents help out if they can.

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0 19

I have been looking after my beautiful grand daughter since almost born and I don't expect my kids to pay me. They pay for gas to get there and for wrk and grocerie day but how they show me more is once inawhile a gift, or plants. I want them to get ahead in life cause that is my gift. I was a single mom and could only do what I could for my kids so now I do this and boy I have an incrediable bond with my grandbaby which is soooo beautiful. My kids show me how much they appriate what I do with alot of love and a beautiful hug and more!!!and they gave me a beautiful grand daughter!

24
0 3

I think this is a fine idea if grandparents can afford to do it. We are not all in that situation. Some single grandparents are still working to keep things up with the bills. In this case it is appreciated if an offer of payment is made, especially if one is giving up a days work to accomodate.

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0 2

It depends on the financial status of both the parents and the grandparents. Also depends how the relationship is between the families. Is that the only time the grandparents see the grandchildren?

24
2 0

If I tried to pay my parents for baby-sitting they'd be insulted. I often buy token gifts for them to show my appreciation but payment for them would be insulting.

18
0 3

My parents were insulted - so what I did was once a year we packed up for a very long weekend at the ocean - all expenses paid for them. We all enjoyed it very much and I know my parents felt appreciated.

10 15

I am a grandparent and it is nessesary to offer to pay if it is weekly. but ocasionaly or for date note no. they can say no but offer. I am saying it is not okay to use your parents or grandparents as your sitter for free. Unless they offer!! Good luck

15
1 0

I agree with you Jilene. At least offer, I would take the money and keep it for them when they needed it. Since I watch them 5 days a week and 10 hours a day, I am wiped out by the end of the week.

3 0

My Mother watched my kids for me and when she couldn't my sister did. I paid both my Mother and my sister and was very proud that they were with family. They never complained and my Mother would always say you don't need to do this. Funny thing though she started treating herself to pedi's and getting her hair done so the money was making a difference in how she felt about herself. I am now the grandmother and I watch my grandson while my son and DIL work because I want to but also because they can't afford to pay for daycare. If they could they would, the point is its a blessing for me and them also I get to be as special as my Mother was to my children. I think if you can, great if you can't just know how lucky you are to have been blessed with someone who loves your kids and cares out of love not just for money!

12
0 20

I make $150,000 a year, my mom recently lost her job. Of course I pay her. And really, even when she was working, I made more than her. I would pay a sitter, so I should pay her. I don't feel that I should benefit financially while she is struggling.

She says no, but I slip it in her wallet anyway.

11
0 19

Good for you! You should be very proud of yourself for helping her the way you do.

0 199

I say yes you should pay them. Thier time is valuable, and they love your children. Just because they are your parents doesn't mean you can take advantage of what you would be paying for if they could not, or would not take care of your kids. I have taken care or my grandkids numerous times, and the most pleasurable ones were when I was the person who initiated the time we would spend toether. Remember this it is NOT and I repeat NOT your right, to use your parent as a daycare provider without consideration of the time and effort it takes to care for your chidlren. Your parents deserves the same respect your give a SITTER or DAYCARE CENTER. If they choose to keep the money and spend it on the kids so be it, if they don't take them money when you offer it to them so be it. BUT make the effort each payday to let them know you understand how valuable they are to your family. What an asset you are to the household finaces. You might now afford full price, but come one everyone should be compensated for the JOB they are doing.

THAT being said, and occasional outing that is different. Or when the parent themselves intiates the activity, and asks for the pleasure of having the children join them then no by all means no payment should be offered. Grand parents have raised their kids ( you are one of them ) and they should not be expected to raise yours. It is YOUR responsibilty and Yours alone to raise, pay for and take care of your kids. IT is our JOB to give them love, play with them, shower them with treats when they visit, and take them on outings when we are up to it. FOR crying out loud people. WE HAD KIDS WHEN WE WERE YOUNG FOR A REASON, Now we just want to enjoy them, and send them home to Mommy and Daddy to raise, and nourish.

11
0 199

love having mine too occassionally. but when you have 13 of them, or when you have 3 that are babies and you are getting on in years with arthristis, and migraines, and menopause. Well everyday 10 hours a day is too much. Say what you want but unless you have done it, you would'nt say it isn't a JOB, and would want to be paid and appreciated for your efforts. Not asked to sit for the kids again on Friday or Saturday so the parents can have a night out. What about the Grandparent having a break or a night out. Plus I still have a 10 year old myself so I am pooped after running after those little ones all day, then my daughter wants to know what's for dinner?

1 4

Yes, if its more then twice a week, I think there should be some sort of compensation.

11
0 0

I pay my mom. She has made a commitment to watch my kids for the next year. We feel so absolutely blessed to have her! She is awesome! She would like it if I paid her less, or if she could do it for free.. but we have an agreement that is beneficial to both.... And I absolutely will not pay her less then what I would pay for them to go to the daycare.... It works out to be cheaper though because I only pay her for the days I need which is on average 3 days/week.... My children are able to stay in their own home and she drives my 3 year old to and from pre-school!! And both my kids get all the love and affection from their grandma! You can't beat that! Seriously am I the one who lucks out or what??!!!! I love going to work knowing my kids have my mom!

9
0 20

I guess its up to the grandparents if they need the money or not? I babysit my Granddaughter and count it as a privlege and i would never take money from my kids... I do it to help them out!

9
0 0

Agreed- it depends on the need- both sides.

0 17

I always paid my mom to babysit. She needed the money and was too proud to ask for help. So I told her she was helping me cause she was cheaper than hiring a nurse to stay with my son.

8
0 0

I think that it can work for many people. I have had 4 children without any help when they were small exept from my husband when he came home from work. Our parents were never close enough to help and that would have been great if every now and then we could leave them with the grandparents both for the sake of the children and parents. I do however feel that at age 63 now i am not prepared to be a full time mother/granny as i did more than my fare share when i was younger. I also have a life and i made many sacrifices to be with my children when they were babies untill they went to school. My husband was the only breadwinner and we did without much in order for me to be at home with the children, I feel that young people sometimes are not prepared to make sacrifices these days and they want to start off with so much more than what we had when we were young, I know that life is more expensive these days but that is relative, we just did without!! I had no car for 5 years and i already had 2 children at that stage and then when i did finally get one it was a very cheap second hand car. What i am trying to say is that we had fewer expectations and just made do.Why do so many young people want so much these days, not all of them i know. So i feel that if i made the sacrifice so can my children, afterall the best place for a mother and her children is really with her children especially from birth to age three.

7
0 9

I agree with much of this. Each family IS different, and the circumstances are as well. In my experience, the younger generation do expect more, and often have an attitude of entitlement. I know of two recent situations with grandparents providing care for their grandchildren by single-parent daughters where the daughter A-gain got pregnant (guess what, grammy, you are going to have another one to care for). Grandchildren ARE a blessing, and there is nothing more precious and no greater reward than spending time with grandkids. But along with that, if the parents aren't being fully responsible, then the grandkids might grow up with the same, or similar, attitude. So we are doing our best to not only love our grandkids, but teach them responsibility and accountability as well.

0 9

I have watched my grandchildren for the kids while they work. We have 8 grandkids here and there have been days when I have had all of them at the same time. Yes my kids do pay me...if they had to pay daycare it would cost them at least twice as much, plus they know their kids are well taken care of being with me. We spend time learning things, not always what a daycare center would teach them, but we learn to count, we learn colors, and we have a good time.

For parents who think it is wrong to pay grandparents then you need to rethink the care your child is getting and be grateful for the grandparents who will watch your kids and pay them for doing so! Remember we may be grandparents, but we can still work somewhere else and make more money, so be grateful!

7
0 0

My grandmother raised me when my mother wouldn't and now watches my daughter when me and my husband both have to work. We can barely afford to make ends meet while we both work much less pay a full time babysitter. I can never repay my grandmother for all that she has done for me and my family. But I do everything I can to help her out. If my daughter needs something for grandmas house I make sure she has it. And if my grandmother needs something i am always there for her. God bless the grandparents and great-grandparents for doing what they can when they can. It's all about the small things in life. we may not be able to pay her as one would a regular babysitter but I will never take for granted what she has done for me and will always make sure I am there for my kids and grandkids the way she was there for me.

7
0 199

But you see you are paying her. You value her time, her energy and her efforts. Paying isn't always about money. It can be about involvment. Your grandmother knows she can count on your to get the things she needs, the things the baby needs, and that you care for her, and her sacrifice and dedication to your family. BRAVO for both of you. That is as it should be, but too often is not. Job well done to you Kimberly

19 0

Even a once-off requirement depends on the type of babysitting, ie no of kids, ages, kids requirements, ie whether they need to be fed, bathed, sleep-over, read books, etc, etc - there's just too many to consider in such a single question as all parent's and kids requirements vary on a regular basis.!

Ito frequent baby-sitting, again way too many to consider to answer a simple yes or no...

Consider hours, chores, ie schooling, driving, feeding, bathing, laundry, you name it!...
And remember all baby-sitters, al-be-it older kids, parents, grand-parents or in-laws( regardless of age) all need their own time to rest & recouperate - kids are exhuasting!!!

Wish you the best!

7
0 0

I quit my job 2 years ago. I am single and maintain my own home. I take care of my granddaughter Monday through Friday from 7:00a.m. until 5:00p.m. I do get paid for taking care of her, if I didn't I would have had to continue to work. This works great for all of us. My daughter does not have to put her in daycare, I can pay my bills, and my granddaughter gets tons of love and attention. We do something every day. We go to the zoo, library, gym classes, we do crafts, we play in the parks, we laugh, sing, dance, and take naps! She will soon be 3 and time flies very quickly. I hope that she will always remember the love and happiness that she has given to me.

6
0 15

Very nice

0 0

I was just reading the responses and felt the need to speak up. My husband and I have 5 children, 4 that have children of their own. We have watched all of the grandchildren aged 1 - 17) at one time or another. We have been paid something by each of them when they could afford it. Sometimes money, sometimes meals, all the time HUGS AND KISSES!!! I know that my grandchildren are trusting, loving, and beautiful. I know that they are safe from weirdo strangers and don't have to travel far for a sitter. They love Papa and Grandma and my children and they're spouses know that we would die for the kids. We are retireed and have never asked for payment. When we walk into the house were the youngest children live they go wild because they know they are going to be getting all the attention and spoiling.

6
0 8

If they have a job yes I think we should get paided

6
0 0

I watch my grandchildren on a daily basis. I drive 1 to school at 7;30 am and pick him up at 12pm and then I go pick up another grandson from school at 2:15 and I have another 8 month old with me all day. My daughter gives me money for this because I supply the gas for my car and I also supply food for the grandkids and also diapers and formula for the baby. Diapers and formula and jars of food can be very costly. I lost my job 9 years ago and at that time my husband had a very well paying job but now he works 2 jobs and money is very tight. If I were to go back to work my daughter would have to pay for daycare and it would cost them alot more than they give and my grandkids would not get the love and care that I give them. I don't take any money for just a night out on the weekends. So depending on the circumstances I have to say yes >

5
0 0

If is on a regular basis while they work, yes, grandparents should be paid. I did it from 5 months until school age, i enjoy spending time with my grandkids but this is a job. I take care of them occasionally, without pay. Pick them up at school just to be with them, that's a different thing!

5
1 38

I watch my three-year-old granddaughter and wouldn't dream of accepting a dime from my daughter. She is a struggling single mother, and all I do is feed her. I am paid in much better currency that money :)

4
0 8

I would not think of accepting payment for keeping my fun, loving grandchildren. I am blessed to have them. In fact one told me last weekend that they have two homes. Theirs and mine. They have their own bedroom and bath and all the little girl things, like bath powder, and etc.

They are now 7 and 10. They are learning to cook and are now making pies.

4
0 0

Short and simple.YYESSSSSS. I love my grandson so much. The money would go to him anyway. Between two parents I think the loving parents should be offered. Do you agree with me.?

4
14 20

yes i do

0 16

i waitress and am blessed enough to only have to work friday and saturday nights. but maybe once or twice a month i will be asked to work a lunch so my mom watches my 2 1/2 yr old and 2 month old. she also offers to watch my kids whenever i need to get things done (painting, major spring cleaning or just a night out with my husband). i don't pay her, she doesn't want it, even though she could use it. so to make up for it i'll drive her to her docs appt. (45 min away) and won't take her gas money ;) or if we go out for lunch or shopping i'll buy her lunch or a shirt that's on sale or something. i think this works out well, we just use the pay it forward method!

4
1 12

It is not necessarily paying them by the hour; it can be somewhat of a barter system--like buy them a whole week's worth of grocery; do their yardwork every weekend; offer them to pay one of their utility bill; take them on a vacation trip; treat them for a shopping spree at the mall and buy them something special; offer to cook or buy them dinner on a daily basis or weekly basis; if financially binded, think of re-setting priorities where it is manageable & save, so parents can eventually be able to do something for babysitting or give something in return; etc. There are so many simple ways to show gratitude of taking care of your kids. Best of all, a simple card that says thank you from you & your kids is a great way to show the love & care they give you in a weekly basis or daily basis. This way, parents are teaching the kids the value of gratitude. If the kids are babies, then parents should do them for them. Sometimes, parents forget the simplest things in life because of hectic schedules. The act of kindness & gratefulness are important to create emotional bond and lasting relationships. Remember, it is better to give than to receive; blessings come more abundantly without expecting.

4
2,410 9

I didn't offer money to my own parents for ordinary baby-sitting and they usually had the children at THEIR request. If you're working and they're minding them by day then you should pay - so when I did this, they got the money. Also, it's only right to provide nappies, food etc ... when they're minding them through the daytime whilst you're at work.

I wouldn't take cash from my son & his partner for minding my grandchild. But if circumstances demanded that I quit my job to help in caring for any grandchildren then yes, I'd expect paying!!

4
1 16

I'd say no way! Unless it is regular baby sitting not a once off and then i think providing money to cover food, outings, petrol is a good idea!

4
14 20

always offer and if they dont want it they will turn it down.

0 0

The best advice My Dad ever gave me......"Take care of the people that take care of your kids. They are taking care of the most precious thing in your life, make sure they are happy." Whether it's grandparents, Day-care, a friend, or an extended family member, work out some way to show your appreciation. My husband and I both worked when our kids were little. He worked a day shift, and I worked a night shift. My mom had our kids for 2 hours everyday while our work schedules overlapped. I offered payment, and she refused, but everyday I asked if she needed anything. " I'm stopping at the store Mom, you need some milk?" "You want a ride to the grocery store this weekend Mom?" This should be something that should be dicussed BEFORE you leave your children, with anybody. It's tough when both parents have to work to provide for their children, but part of taking care of your children is making sure they are loved and cared for, even when you can't be there. Never stint the baby-sitter.

3
0 20

Our daughter is a single mom, who has graduated from college with a double degree, she is finishing on her masters while also completing her teaching credentials. She works full time, has just purchased a new home . She has to works weekend and is off on tuesdays and wednesdays. So we watch our grandaughter thursdays, saturdays and sundays. She goes to daycare 2 days a week. We wouldn't consider asking for payment, it a pleasure helping our daughter and our grand daughter.

3
0 17

I am a single mother of 4 girls, 21,18,and a set of twins. In my divorce my ex husband was to pay half child care, and 186.00 every two weeks, will he neber helped out with child care, and child support was always months behind, i worked 2 jobs amd went to collage,i paid my mother and sister and the day care.to take care of my older girls, later i had a set of twin girls which r 6 years old now, i am and have been staying home to care for them because the cost was double, my income is very limited very low now, my oldest daugther gave me my first grandson, ehich to say i have.been caring for 99%of the timr since birth because she decided she was.going.to do drugs, there were times when she would be gone for weeks, so now i have him full time plus mt twin girls, my x husband which is the grand father works, has a good job and is always gone, but my daughter signed medicak custody to him over me bevause i dont put up with what she does,so i am the one cares for him everyday and make sure he learns and is fed everyday, so i told him he needs to help me out with money because we have come to agreement that i have him during the week and him on the weekends, but that doesnt work either i habe him from 5or6 am till 7or8 pm at night ,he told me it was a respondabilty of me being the.grand parent to watch him for free, i dont agree i.want to be the grandma not the.baby sitter, my daughter is now drug rehab but is a.waiting sentencing for prison time for several years i feel that my xhusband that has custody needs to pay me and help out with our grandson. I have raised my two older daugthers on my own with any of his help,so he needs to take part also

3
0 0

YES your ex should help!!!!!!!!!!!!

0 1

i watch both my grandchildren 6mths and 2and a half, 5 days a week 9 hrs a day. I would not dream of my daughter paying me, I love having the kids. My daughter does treat me quite often and also buys shopping for her household and mine as a way of helping us. yes it is hard work but when you get a big smile from them both and big hugs from one it is all worth while, and i would not change it for the world.

3
0 13

at least offer to ...if once in a wile maybe no,if all the time then maybe yes.it realy depends on the sitation.and i watch my 6 Grandbabys every day and yes My Daughter and Soninlaw do take very good care of me for doing so.we are a big Family and for the most part we r very Happy Family.in this day and time Familys have to work together to make it....

3
0 18

My mother in law retired early because she wanted to watch my 2 kids and her daughters 2 kids.She has refused to take money from us.I do not take advantage of her at all. And I rarely ask her to babysit when we are going out for an evening because I know she will refuse money then also. My sister in law , on the other hand, lets her kids practically live at Grandmas. It drives my husband and I crazy.But ,to make us feel better about the situation, my husband ( a construction worker) volunteers to do everything they need done around the house. At the moment he is building them a huge garage attached to there house. Something they have always wanted!

2

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